Chapter 296

"You two little brats, let go of my Hong Nainai right now, or I'll never forgive you!"

We hadn't even spoken when the red-clad female ghost made the first move, glaring at us both.

Pangzi bared his teeth and said to this Hong Nainai, "Hey Hong Nainai, it's clearly your own karma that made you come hook my brother as a substitute. Why does it seem like you've suffered more grievance than us two?"

Although Hong Nainai was wrapped in Pangzi's clothes, her aura showed no weakness.

"Who made him save my substitute today, causing me to lose my chance at reincarnation for nothing? If I don't look for him, who else would I look for?" Hong Nainai glared, staring at me fiercely.

Holy shit, you harm people and still think you're right? I saved someone and yet I'm wrong.

This Hong Nainai's water-ghost aura is truly arrogant; I couldn't stand it, so I thought of going up and hitting her with a Five Thunder Palm to let her see how formidable I am.

I had just taken a step when Pangzi pulled me back.

"Pangzi, what are you doing?" I asked.

Pangzi pulled me aside and whispered in my ear, "Hai Sheng, it seems like you're really at fault here."

"What?" I looked at Pangzi in surprise; I saved someone and yet I'm wrong?

Pangzi quietly told me that since water ghosts mostly die wrongfully or tragically in water and cannot leave that area after death, the Underworld allows them to come out on the fifteenth of the seventh month to seek substitutes, and these substitutes are usually people destined to suffer water-related misfortunes, prone to early death. By saving that child today, I've effectively destroyed Hong Nainai's chance at reincarnation.

Finally, Pangzi added: "This is the karma you created yourself; you have to handle it well. If you blast her with one palm, you cut off her chance to reincarnate, committing another sin."

I don't know if this is karmic cycle, predestined, or ghosts will stop at nothing to reincarnate; if it's my approach, I don't care whether you reincarnate or not—anyway, if you provoke me, I'll just kill you.

But now I have a Pangzi by my side; given his personality, if I really kill this Red Granny, he'll probably turn against me right away.

Things have come to this point—killing won't work, keeping her won't work either? Thinking of my stupidity still not having come up with a good solution, damn it, being a Daoist is too exhausting; this can't be done, that can't be done, it's more stifling than Ah Q in Lu Xun's writings.

Finally, Pangzi thought of a compromise; he went up and persuaded the female ghost: "Red Granny, does this work? We two brothers will buy some paper money, houses, and stuff for men to burn for you tomorrow. After you take these, go back to your territory and be a good water ghost, wholeheartedly doing good—save anyone who falls in the water, and even drag down those who don't fall in to save them. This way you'll accumulate merit; maybe you'll not only be able to reincarnate but also secure a position as a yin deity in the underworld? What do you think?"

Red Granny paused for a moment, then asked Pangzi: "Do you think many people will fall into the water in my river?"

Pangzi looked at this pitiful little pond—it's not even a third of a mu—and saw that the farmers who went into the water today found the deepest part only up to their necks; unless a water ghost drags someone down, it would be strange for anyone to drown.

Pangzi stared for a while and finally forced out a sentence from his lungs: "Um, there's a great person named Li Ning—didn't he say something like, 'Anything is possible'?"

As for Pangzi's nonsense spoken from the lungs, Red Granny naturally wouldn't agree. But she couldn't do anything about us two, and we two also wanted to properly ferry her across, to accumulate some virtue for ourselves. After all, we're also afraid that if we let her go, she'll continue harming people.

Perhaps seeing our sincerity, this water ghost Red Granny finally loosened up. But when I heard her condition, I felt an urge to blast her away with one palm.

Red Granny's condition was just one sentence: "Find me a disciple, and I want to become a smoke ghost."

A smoke ghost is a ghost that helps people with yin divination, and a smoke ghost's disciple refers to those rural women who perform yin divination for people.

We call these women yin-divination grannies, or xianghua grannies. In Hong Kong they're called spirit grannies or rice-asking grannies.

Such people, due to their special physique, are sought out by ghosts or yin masters and sign contracts with them. They make money, while the ghosts accumulate incense offerings and merit. Since the ghosts haven't been officially invested, they aren't proper gods and have no celestial rank, so these women usually won't tell people their teacher is a ghost; when meeting someone, they'll say they've invited a certain heavenly deity.

Now Red Granny wants us to find her a disciple—nothing more than to accumulate merit and become a yin deity in the underworld or something like that. But such people have a special physique, rarer than Daoists, and the vast populace makes it hard to know where to look for a disciple. Besides, those who have long-term contact with ghosts surely can't be long-lived; even if we found one, can we be sure they'd be willing to be her disciple?

I said to Pangzi, feeling very vexed: "I think… I'll just go home to get my command flag, summon the Five Ghosts to take her to the underworld, so I won't have to look at her with resentment."

Having said that, I turned and left, preparing to go to Pangzi's house to fetch the command flag and direct the Five Ghost soldiers.

"Don't… aren't you afraid of creating karma by doing this? Sending the ghost to the City of Wrongful Death—if she escapes, she'll become another evil ghost." Pangzi grabbed me and advised.

Pangzi's words are indeed correct; water ghosts are mostly those who died unjustly, with unresolved resentment. Even if I forcibly order the Five Ghost soldiers to send her to the underworld, she can only wander in the City of Wrongful Death. A resentful spirit wandering there for a day equals a year of cultivation in the Yangjian; if she were to return to the human world, she'd undoubtedly become another troublesome evil ghost.

But what can we do now? I'd rather send her to the underworld than go through the hassle of searching the world for a disciple for her. Know that we Daoists have precepts; any word we speak is heard by the heavens. If I promise Red Granny, unless I die, I must bear responsibility for my vow.

Once I agree, wouldn't I have to do nothing else in my life until I find her a disciple? And I can't leave her in this world to keep harming people; after thinking left and right, I'd rather take her back to the underworld and shoulder some karmic debt.

"Don't run, I really thought of a method that isn't this troublesome and doesn't require sending her back to the underworld." Pangzi gripped me tightly.

I rolled my eyes, turned around, and asked him what the method was.

Pangzi gave a hehe smile and whispered in my ear: "Soldiers."

I slapped my forehead in sudden realization: oh, I can take Red Granny as a soldier. The Yin Mountain arts are fundamentally heavy-yin techniques; practitioners of Yin Mountain used to often go to graveyards or crossroads where car accidents happened, collecting these evil spirits to do their bidding.

Don't think that collecting ghosts to work for you is extremely yin wicked. Whether it's wicked or not, harmful or not, depends on the individual Daoist. If you collect ghosts and then use them to harm people, to indulge private desires by bewitching maidens, or for money to confuse others, that's naturally wicked. But if you collect evil ghosts and use them to exorcise evil for others and dispel disasters, then you are accumulating virtue; as you accumulate virtue, the ghosts under you will naturally receive a share of merit.

However, over these years, because QingSongShu has been around, I've mostly just followed along learning things, rarely engaging in duels or handling matters on my own. Moreover, keeping soldiers requires money; every few days we need to offer fruit, incense oil, candles, and rice. When calculated, this is also a considerable expense.

So I usually don't keep soldiers; if I need them somewhere, I just borrow them from temples.

Now Pangzi has proposed this method, having me take Red Granny as a soldier. Although it will mean spending a bit more on offerings later, it's still not a bad approach.

After I agreed, Pangzi, this negotiation expert, went up to appeal to her emotions and move her with reason, thereby swaying Red Granny.

The negotiation stalled for ten minutes; finally Red Granny glanced at me and said: "Alright, Granny will temporarily endure being this brat's soldier, but you must promise me that once I take a fancy to a disciple, you won't stop me from leaving."

... I, damn it, is this you begging me or me begging you? Even if I'm begging you, you don't have to look down on me like that.

Since my command flag and container are at Pangzi's house, for the time being I can't take Red Granny; I can only let her wait a moment while Pangzi and I go to Meigu's house to get an umbrella, letting her stay inside it for a while.

On the way, the more I thought, the more vexed I felt, and I complained to Pangzi: "Pangzi, why do I feel I'm becoming less and less like a Yin Mountain Sect Daoist, completely lacking the style of the Yin Mountain Sect."

I'm telling the truth; back when I heard from Li Fengkou, our Yin Mountain Sect disciples were very carefree and did whatever they wanted; to collect soldiers you just took rice and red paper and performed the rites—nothing like now, where we hesitate and have to ask the ghosts if they're willing.

Pangzi gave a hehe smile and replied: "Ghosts also have bodily freedom rights; you have to let yourself choose, choose. Think about it—if you just snatched a bride, that'd be fine, but if she's unwilling, going to bed with her would be meaningless."

I… even if ghosts have bodily freedom rights, what does that have to do with sleeping with a wife?

All along the way, speechless, I decided not to bother Pangzi anymore, returned to Meigu's house, took the umbrella that had been collecting the light rain tonight, ran to the riverbank, and captured Red Granny inside it.

Then Pangzi and I returned to the room and fell asleep face-first.

The next day, I borrowed the umbrella containing Red Granny on the pretext of fearing rain, and bid farewell to Meigu's family.

"Ah… sometimes I really like the countryside—look at the smell of cow dung and earth; how fragrant it is." Pangzi sighed while walking on the stone path in the countryside.

"... Hey, you Pangzi up front, stop right there."

Just as Pangzi finished his sigh, a shout of pursuit suddenly came from behind.

We turned to look behind and saw an old man chasing Pangzi from a dozen meters away.

"Holy shit, run!" I and Mengxue hadn't even reacted when Pangzi grabbed us and we took off running.

"Pangzi, did you dig up someone's ancestral grave? Do you really need to be this panicked?" I asked while running.

"I used my money to order flowers for Jingjing Sister?"

"This has fuck-all to do with you ordering flowers for Silijing."

It matters, yesterday when I bought cinnabar yellow paper I had no money, I snatched it and ran; you didn't see that old man now recognized me, came to collect debt?

Damn, then you still aren't running fast?

At this moment, Mengxue weakly said from the side, "Brother, we didn't pay, we can just pay now, why do we still need to run?"

Pangzi "........."

I ".........."