Chapter 390

A story once circulated among the folk, saying that in Taihang Mountain there lived a dissolute, unrestrained Daoist in tattered clothes who acted without convention.

The Daoist loved liquor, could drink heavily without getting drunk, each time consuming several dou or more, and never grew tired of it; drinking with guests, he would go through jar after jar, yet his face never flushed as he chatted and laughed with everyone.

At the banquet, everyone was astonished, thinking this ragged Daoist was a divine being, skilled in the art of translocation. All the wine he drank was moved elsewhere by his magic, so his belly was like a bottomless pit; no matter how much he drank, he could consume a thousand cups without getting drunk.

This is a story circulated in folk unofficial histories; I don't know whether the ragged Daoist in the tale truly mastered translocation, but I have seen similar situations. Moreover, we practitioners of the Dharma often use medicinal methods to increase our alcohol tolerance, achieving the ability to drink a thousand cups without getting drunk.

What is the medicinal method? Simply put, it's a folk remedy, and this remedy is called "Thousand-Catty Not-Drunk". If one drinks a bowl of prepared Chinese medicine before alcohol, or takes a pill refined via the medicinal method, even someone who cannot hold their liquor can become a heavy drinker capable of consuming a thousand cups without getting drunk.

Many of the hangover-relief prepared Chinese medicines on the market also bear the shadow of this folk remedy.

The Thousand-Catty Not-Drunk pills in our luggage were refined in advance by QingSongShu. He worried that I and Pangzi would not be able to handle social drinking while out, so he prepared these pills for us.

Normally this pill is taken before drinking; as for whether it works after one is already drunk, I have never tested it, so I could only try it out of curiosity and stuffed a pill into Pangzi's mouth.

I thought Pangzi would obediently swallow the pill, but when I shoved it into his mouth, I realized I had underestimated his mischievousness.

I stuffed the pill into his mouth, but after a moment I saw no reaction. I felt vexed, curiously leaning in, frowning as I looked at his face. In an instant, Pangzi opened his mouth and, with a whoosh, spat the pill out.

I was facing him, our heads level. He spat so forcefully that the pill shot straight up and went straight into my throat.

By the time I realized what had happened, the pill was already lodged in my throat, making me jump up and down, pound my chest, and gag. After nearly five minutes of relentless effort, choking to the point of tears, I finally managed to dislodge the pill from my throat.

After spitting out the pill, I hurriedly squatted in a corner, spitting saliva, damn it, this is disgusting—I unknowingly swallowed Pangzi's saliva in silence.

I admit that even after a long time, a strange, indescribable taste lingers in my throat; I don't know if it's Pangzi's saliva or the pill's flavor, but it's utterly unpleasant.

At this moment I wanted to kick Pangzi on the bed to death, but… the matter at hand is important; for the sake of the bigger picture, I could only suppress the urge to beat him severely, then took another pill from the bottle and shoved it into his mouth.

Having learned from the previous mishap, this time I became thoroughly clever: after stuffing the pill in, I quickly stepped back several steps, crouched to the side and secretly watched Pangzi. After a minute, seeing no reaction, I assumed he had swallowed the pill, breathed a sigh of relief, and rose leisurely.

Suddenly, with a puff, Pangzi's lips puckered and a dark, glossy object was spat out of his mouth again.

At that moment I gaped, face full of disbelief—damn, he can spit it out like that? This is too bizarre.

In my astonishment, I then realized I had committed another fatal mistake—I… had opened my mouth wide.

With a whoosh, the pill traced a splendid arc through the air, flying from the head of the bed to where I stood, slipping once more into my throat, and… I inadvertently swallowed a mouthful of saliva, sending the pill down.

I… after all my calculations, I still ended up swallowing Pangzi's old man's saliva. At this point, "wanting to cry but having no tears" can't even describe how miserable I feel.

……………………

The third time, I suppressed the urge to chop Pangzi into pieces, carefully poured out a pill from the bottle, and shoved it into his mouth.

After the pill went in, I immediately sprang away like a rabbit, jumping three meters.

Joking aside, after the lessons of the first two attempts, am I still not learning? Do you really think I'm an idiot?

With a gurgle, Pangzi's throat surged; unexpectedly, the pill was not spat out again but was swallowed whole by him.

While I was surprised that Pangzi was suddenly so obedient, I abruptly felt a urge to urinate in my lower half and hurried to the toilet,

On my way back from the toilet, I saw Pangzi stumble out of the room with sleepy eyes, heading straight for the toilet as soon as he emerged.

The two of us went back and forth, making several trips to the toilet in succession; after urinating a few times, I finally realized a problem… the Thousand-Catty Not-Drunk pill works just like a sobriety pill, expelling alcohol through urination.

"Ah… speaking of which, why am I so energetic?" After several trips to the toilet, Pangzi stretched lazily on the bed, his expression lewd and begging for a beating.

Not to mention Pangzi's vigor, even I now feel as if my whole body has been washed by a hot spring, brimming with inexhaustible energy, radiant and refreshed, my spirits multiplied a hundredfold.

Thousand-Catty Not-Drunk lives up to its name!

As I marveled at the effect of the Thousand-Catty Not-Drunk pill, the naturally clueless Pangzi uttered another sentence that would get people killed without compensation.

"Hey, since we're this energetic, let's go out and find Wei Xiong for another drink."

"Cut it out, let's talk seriously—I just gave you a Thousand-Catty Not-Drunk pill." I slapped Pangzi on the back of his head and gripped him tightly.

Pangzi looked at me doubtfully: "Why are you making me take that stuff? We drink to have fun; you're basically forcing me to cheat. How can you have no drinking etiquette?"

I…

All right, considering your youthful ignorance, I'll endure, I'll keep enduring.

"Do you know what I just saw on Wei Xiong?"—suppressing the urge to beat Pangzi to a pulp, I slowly recounted what I had seen on Wei Xiong: the Mountain Prison Crimson Mark and the Fishing Mound Seal.

Fortunately, Pangzi isn't stupid; he quickly sorted out the whole context.

"You mean Wei Xiong is going to follow his uncle to rob a tomb soon?"

After I nodded, Pangzi immediately prepared to rush out of the living room.

"What are you doing?" I grabbed him.

Pangzi naturally said: "Of course to stop Wei Xiong; tomb‑robbing is too risky, such a get‑rich‑quick scheme must not be allowed."

I gave him a sideways glance: "Do you think Wei Xiong will listen to us?"

Pangzi paused, then scratched his head: "Also true, he definitely won't listen to us."

As brothers, we naturally understand each other's temperaments. Among the three, Wei Xiong is the most righteous and most responsible. But he also has a flaw: he is stubborn. Once he decides on something, not even nine oxen could pull him back.

Moreover, from his occasional remarks it's easy to infer that accompanying him on tomb‑robbing is his paternal uncle. The Fishing Mound lineage differs from the other three schools—Moving Mountains, Splitting Ridges, and Gold‑Scooping—in that it usually involves relatives going together. One could say the Fishing Mound school places the greatest emphasis on familial ties among the four sects.

Since it's his own uncle, there's no reason not to trust him. Besides, Wei Xiong's notion of improving his family's material life isn't something that changes overnight. Therefore, trying to change his decision to rob tombs is undoubtedly doubly difficult.

"Then what should we do? We can't just watch Wei Xiong walk to his death, right? You know, the postnatal 'Mountain Prison Crimson Mark' isn't a joke—last year we saw people whose faces bore such acquired markings, and without exception they died violently by daytime." Pangzi drooped his head and involuntarily sighed: "Forget it, I'll first cast a hexagram with the Plum Blossom Divination."

Having said that, Pangzi pinched his fingers to calculate and cast a hexagram in his hand.

Although Pangzi's Plum Blossom Divination is notorious for "killing the father without tasting the consequence," his last prediction of a water ghost in the countryside was quite accurate; thinking of that, my previously despondent heart rekindled hope.

I watched Pangzi nervously, hoping his hexagram would turn from extreme adversity to prosperity; but as time passed, my heart grew colder. Because during the divination, Pangzi's expression kept shifting for no reason—from listless to pallid—and finally his face turned a deathly white.

"Gen mountain traps Ren water, preventing its exit—water dies and ceases; the upper Gen is a grave, the lower Gen is the yin‑yang point; in the transformed hexagram, Zhen wood is a coffin, and Gen signifies a cemetery." Pangzi stared blankly and muttered to himself: "In the past, the Qianlong Emperor sent Tu Qinbao to encircle and suppress the Sala rebellion. Tu Qinbao was trapped in the mountains and ultimately died besieged. … That year, Tu Qinbao met an old man who divined the same hexagram—Gen mountain traps water, water dies and ceases… Wei Xiong, too, is a Ren‑water person."

Having completed the divination, the hexagram was clear at a glance, and my mood inevitably grew heavier.

"Is there any way to salvage this?" I looked at Pangzi full of anticipation, hoping this deadlock could be resolved.

"There is…" Pangzi gave a heavy nod.

My dead‑heart sparked hope once more, and I looked at Pangzi full of expectation: "What?"

"Don't let Wei Xiong go, just stay at home." Pangzi grinned, revealing his white teeth.

What greeted him was my merciless flick to the forehead; at this moment my veins bulged, I could no longer tolerate his wild, unconventional thinking, and I struck out fiercely, mercilessly beating him.

"All right, all right, speaking seriously, I know Wei Xiong won't listen to us, but we still have two middle/lower strategies, right?" Pangzi, while clutching his head and scrambling about, gave an innocent explanation.

"Hurry up and speak, don't fucking waste my time, Wei Xiong is leaving tomorrow."

"Yang water trapped within Stopping Mountain; in the end the water dies out, unable to flow into the sea, but if at this time there is Yang metal assisting, the situation can be said to be completely different." Pangzi said solemnly.

"How so?" My eyes lit up, I stared fixedly at Pangzi and said.

Pangzi immediately answered without hesitation: "Stopping Mountain belongs to earth, and Wei Xiong is the Yang water in the trigram; Yang water trapped within the mountain's momentum is in a weak position. If at this time there is Yang metal assisting, borrowing metal to produce water momentum, then it becomes unstoppable. Although water is soft, when water becomes strong against the mountain, it can also turn into a flood that washes open the mountain.' After a pause, Pangzi continued: 'Even if the water's momentum is not stronger than the mountain, one can still use the sharpness of Yang metal to cleave a place in Stopping Mountain; then Yang water will have an outlet to flow out, thus turning a desperate situation into a chance for survival.'"

"You mean we should give Wei Xiong a weapon to take with him grave-robbing?" My eyes lit up, I couldn't help but let my imagination run wild.

Pangzi immediately nodded, but then quickly shook his head: "This plan is a lower strategy; it can only bring a single chance of survival. If we want to increase our certainty, we still have to… rely on luck." The last two words, Pangzi's tone grew heavier, pronounced with emphasis.

"Well… we'll now mutually check our eight characters to see if we are in a year of prosperous luck." I answered without hesitation.