Chapter 46: Female Ghost's Tears

Su Zhiyuan's face turned pallid, pointing at Gan Su Xin and shouting loudly.

"Impossible, this is impossible, you clearly died, how can you still be here?"

"She is indeed dead, but don't forget, there is something called a ghost in this world. Those who die a violent death can become vicious ghosts." I curled the corner of my mouth in a cold smile, staring coldly at Su Zhiyuan.

By now, without thinking, one knows what happened. If there were any hidden circumstances before, at this moment they are fully revealed, especially in the terror flashing in Su Zhiyuan's eyes when he saw Gan Su Xin's ghost.

Whoever does no wrongdoing need not fear a ghost knocking at midnight.

"Zhiyuan, you told me you had a terminal illness and were leaving this world, didn't you? Why are you still alive now?" Gan Su Xin stepped closer, her tone grim as she questioned Su Zhiyuan.

"Don't come over, don't come over." Su Zhiyuan, frightened, kept stepping back, his face panicked as he cried out to Gan Su Qin.

Finally, he even gritted his teeth, picked up a fruit knife, and stabbed toward Gan Su Qin's body.

But ghosts are intangible; aside from us Daoists, how could ordinary people possibly harm her?

Thus, Su Zhiyuan's stab was destined to miss.

But although this stab did not harm Gan Su Xin's body, it utterly broke the heart of a lovesick maiden.

Gan Su Xin's soul began to tremble; she stroked the spot Su Zhiyuan had just scratched, murmuring: "You actually wanted to kill me, Zhiyuan—have you forgotten? I am your beloved Su Xin? You let me go? You said you would protect me for all lifetimes."

"Now you actually draw a knife to kill me—why, why is this?" As she spoke the last words, Gan Su Xin seemed to go mad, screaming to the heavens. Around her, a grayish mist arose; I knew this was a female ghost's resentment. At this moment, she had become a resentful spirit.

If a moment ago she knew she had been deceived and was angry, now she is pain-stricken to the point of despair. The person she once thought she could entrust her life to, a single lie led her willingly into the depths of death. The man she thought would be her lifelong companion, without hesitation, raised a gleaming dagger against her. The pain pierced her heart.

"Why, why is all this like this?" Gan Su Xin merely repeated "why" over and over, her eyes filled with bewilderment.

I know how she feels; anyone whose steadfast faith in another is ruthlessly destroyed will ask themselves, bewildered, "Why?" At this point, one can no longer tell whether what they did in the past was right or wrong.

Her anguish I could feel, and even Pangzi beside her couldn't help but sigh.

We understand her feelings, but Su Zhiyuan does not; he not only cannot sense Gan Su Xin's pain, but he thinks her appearance is meant to take his life.

He knelt on the ground in terror, kowtowing.

"Sorry, sorry, I was wrong. I never imagined you would kill yourself over that letter. I only wanted you to leave me." He kept kowtowing, continuously repenting.

"Wuu… Su Xin, I really didn't mean to hurt you; I was just afraid my wife would find out and divorce me." Su Zhiyuan seemed to recall something, shaking his head in fear: "No, she can't divorce me. Everything I have is from her. If she divorces me, I lose everything—no longer a university professor, no longer my current life. I don't want to live as a vagrant, starving one meal and full the next—no, no."

"Pah, you beast in human skin, what kind of professor are you? Even if you cloak yourself in the most righteous robes, you can't hide your petty heart." Pangzi spat viciously at Su Zhiyuan.

As for me, I proved it with action, delivering a hard kick to Su Zhiyuan, who kept kowtowing on the ground.

Damn it, this clothed beast is nothing but a waste of the nation's grain. Even at death's door, he clings to his trivial vanity, unrepentant, still obsessing over that damn reputation and status.

Gan Su Xin ignored his repentance, step by step approaching him. She even stretched out two hands—from our perspective, it looked like she was preparing to choke Su Zhiyuan's neck.

The two of us were preparing to decide whether to stop Gan Su Xin, for her posture seemed to intend to make Su Zhiyuan pay with his life. As a Daoist, seeing a ghost harming people in broad daylight and doing nothing feels somewhat derelict of duty.

But before we could speak, the situation changed again: when Gan Su Xin's hand was about to touch Su Zhiyuan, he suddenly spun around. Before we could react, he pressed the fruit knife against… Pangzi's neck.

"Don't come over; if you come any closer, I'll kill him." Su Zhiyuan, seeming mad, threatened Gan Su Xin fiercely.

But he didn't know that the person he was holding hostage was a Daoist, and moreover, this Daoist knew martial arts.

In an instant, taking advantage of Su Zhiyuan's distraction, Pangzi applied a Reverse Seize, locking Su Zhiyuan's wrist and shoulder.

Perhaps due to inertia, while Pangzi held Su Zhiyuan's shoulder, he also shoved his body forward hard.

With a bang, Su Zhiyuan's head struck the wall, and he collapsed unconscious.

"Zhiyuan…" Gan Su Xin cried out in alarm, lunging to his side, wanting to reach out to help him up and touch his face,

"Zhiyuan, do you know? If you had told me the truth from the start, I would have let go of my obsession, hidden my love for you, and never bothered you again. Even if I had to spend this life alone, enduring the day-and-night torment of longing, that would still be acceptable. But…"

"But why did you act clever, tossing away a suicide note to deceive me? I once thought our eternal vows would prevail, but they proved no match for empty fame as worthless as yellow earth, nor for this harsh reality."

She simply sat beside the unconscious Su Zhiyuan, speaking as if no one else were there.

"Zhiyuan, tell me—am I wrong, or is the world wrong? Why can men abandon a feeling without hesitation, yet after a relationship, women are left with an indelible mark? Life is long, but this mark stays with us a lifetime, until death."

I and Pangzi said nothing, just silently watching her. Yes, it's strange— as a Daoist, I am actually listening to a ghost pour out her emotions, her inner thoughts, and I am utterly absorbed.

After a long while, Gan Su Xin stood up, and before I and Pangzi could react, she said to us:

"Thank you, thank you for bringing me to see Zhiyuan's final face; in this life, I have no regrets left."

After saying that, she slowly rose and faded into the wall. At the moment she spoke those words, the arising resentment vanished without a trace.

I, however, stared wide-eyed, my heart struck as if by lightning. Isn't a ghost's resentment supposed to dissipate only after she kills her enemy or is liberated by a Daoist? Why, why didn't she kill Su Zhiyuan? She ought to hate him fiercely.

"Wait a moment…" I couldn't help but speak up to stop her.

"You ought to hate Su Zhiyuan, right? Why aren't you resentful now?" I looked at her and asked softly.

She glanced at Su Zhiyuan, then gently shook her head.

"Even if he hates me and wants to kill me, I still love him—I cannot bring myself to harm him."

Immediately, she shook her head and whispered softly: "After all this, it all comes down to me being too foolish. I've figured it out; I no longer wish to cling to the past—let everything be like fleeting clouds."

This time, without the slightest hesitation, she turned and vanished into the wall. I knew she had let go of her obsession and was preparing to reincarnate.

Yet why, at the moment she turned, did I see a crystal-clear droplet trickle from the corner of her eye?

"Senior sister…" Pangzi opened his mouth, but ultimately swallowed the words he was about to say. Perhaps this is Gan Su Xin's best ending.

And at the moment she disappeared, I caught that droplet from the corner of her eye with my hand.

Is this… a female ghost's tear? I stared in disbelief at the green-tinged droplet in my palm, its impact on my spirit immense.

Don't elders often say ghosts have no feelings, let alone shed tears? Then what is this I hold? It slipped from a female ghost's eye—isn't it precisely a ghost tear?

In an instant, I became confused, lost between tradition and the unknown.

I realized I had made a grave mistake. I had always regarded ghosts as merely my troops, existing only to do my bidding. Apart from Little Fat and my sister, I never considered any wandering soul a friend. I thought they were nothing but dead objects, weapons in my hand—I ordered them to kill, and they killed; I ordered them to do good, and they had to do good. Just as elders taught us from childhood that feces are inevitably filthy, I too mistakenly believed ghosts must be harmful. Even if I punished them, slew them, it seemed only natural.

Only now did I realize they were wrong, and so was I. Gravely mistaken, we viewed things through worldly eyes, judging only superficial splendor, never truly feeling the inner essence of all things.

Feces are stinky, yet who has ever observed with care how they seep into the soil, nurturing myriad flowers and things? Ghosts must be harmful. Yet now before my eyes, there is a ghost who, even dead, refuses to harm those who once hurt her.

All my life I have learned only to see with my eyes, never to observe the world's myriad things with heart. I am full of the doctrines taught by my predecessors, yet I forgot that a Daoist's cultivation is nothing more than an unwavering heart.

Gan Su Xin has left, leaving me a moment of enlightenment. I dare not say she is right, but I absolutely dare not say she is wrong; she possesses a foolish devotion to love, never considering her kin, friends, selfishly sacrificing her own life. Yet from beginning to end, she never harmed anyone.

She is a ghost, a kind female ghost who quietly passed through my life, overturning my previous understanding, overturning my heart that had drifted in the secular world and grown cold.