Chapter 219: A Secret Promise

Lin Xiaolu was in a very good mood these past few days.

It wasn't just because school was on break and she didn't have to deal with more coursework, but also because the workload related to being a Magical Girl had decreased.

The workload decreased for two reasons: on one hand, the frequency of recent Beast attacks had dropped further, nearly returning to the level of a year ago; on the other hand, Lin Xiaolu herself had grown stronger, and with her Magical Armor, dealing with Beasts had become second nature.

Thanks to this, she now, for the first time in a while, possessed a large amount of personal time; even after dedicating a significant portion of it to Magical Girl training, she still had plenty of leisure to allocate.

However, fundamentally, none of these were the main reason for her improved mood.

On the fifth day of the holiday, as the New Year arrived in an orderly fashion, the festive atmosphere gradually faded, people returned to their normal life rhythms, and the streets and alleys had already regained their usual liveliness.

In the early morning, Lin Xiaolu groggily opened her eyes to the sound of the alarm clock.

The night before, the new-generation Magical Girls and Fairies from two squads had gathered to play board games all night; everyone had gone to sleep almost at dawn, so her sleep was actually quite insufficient now.

Yawning, she walked into the bathroom, fumbled to find her towel by the washbasin, dipped it in some cold water, and with a "Slap!" threw the towel onto her face.

"Haaah."

Feeling the cold touch of the towel on her face, even her nerves gradually revived with this sensation; only then did Lin Xiaolu feel much better, slowly exhaling a breath.

— "I see you're quite sleepy too; since you don't have to go to school today, why get up so early?"

Moke's voice came from the side.

It was also a participant in last night's gathering, but because it was used to sleeping soundly during the day, it had no problem with insufficient rest even after staying up all night with the Magical Girls.

Originally, it had planned to go into hibernation at dawn, but seeing Lin Xiaolu getting up, it came over to ask out of curiosity.

"Sleepy... sleepy or not, I can't."

Lin Xiaolu's muffled voice came from under the towel: "I have something very important to do next."

"What's this important thing?"

Moke tilted its head and thought for a moment, then suddenly realized: "Oh, is it to get up early to play mobile games..."

— "That's not it at all!"

Lin Xiaolu pulled the towel off her face and glared at Moke: "Getting up early just to play mobile games? What kind of person do you think I am?"

"Didn't you clearly sneakily play late at night during the final exams?"

"How many times have I said it? That's because the game had an event!"

Lin Xiaolu raised her finger and made a gesture at her mouth signaling "Quiet": "And don't say it so loudly; I told you, right? Don't spread this kind of thing."

"Who would bother spreading your little business every day."

Moke rolled its eyes too: "If you don't want it said, I won't say it; I'm going back to sleep, lend me your alarm clock."

Although it had its own room after moving to the base, since Moke actually had no private belongings, it mostly slept in the rooms of the various squad members.

And because Bai Jingxuan often stayed at the base during the day, it mostly shuttled between Xia Liang's and Lin Xiaolu's rooms; things like mooching off Lin Xiaolu had long become the norm.

"Go, go, go, do whatever you want, just don't bother me." Lin Xiaolu was already used to this behavior pattern; she didn't even give a yes or no answer, just pushed her hand away with considerable disgust.

Moke didn't say anything more, leisurely flapping its wings and flying out of the bathroom, but before leaving, it still muttered quietly, the words falling into Lin Xiaolu's ears.

This made her involuntarily stop the action of squeezing toothpaste from the tube.

Putting down the toothbrush in her hand, she squeezed half her body out of the door and angrily shouted at the figure leaving outside:

"Who are you calling stubborn? You lazy, gluttonous Dessert Fairy!"

"I am lazy!" Moke turned back and made a face at her, then sped up and flew out of the corridor.

To this day, with the Bai'an City Squad gradually getting familiar with the Fang Ting City group, Moke, under the shadows of the two senior Magical Girls, Senior Cuique and Margaret, had long since recognized its own position.

— Although as a Sower it still possessed an irreplaceable and precious role, in terms of leading and teaching the Magical Girl squad, it indeed lacked the experience of the two seniors.

Plus, with the Magical Girl manpower in Fang Ting City now said to be severely overflowing, the need to find new combat power had become trivial; in the end, the only thing it could do was detect the locations of Beast attacks.

And this ability was innate to Garden Fairies; even while sleeping, it didn't affect its sensing of Beasts, so naturally, daily life became incredibly lazy.

At the very beginning, it might have harbored a shred of guilt, but as time passed, this guilt was long thrown to the winds, leaving only a sense of ease and contentment.

Lin Xiaolu was aware of this mental journey, but ultimately couldn't see through it completely, so she tried to attack Moke on this point; she didn't expect that the other party had long stopped falling for such tactics.

However, this actually didn't have much impact on her, because what she was about to do was the real business: eating breakfast.

Yes, staying up all night and still getting up early, an act carried out with such strong will, had the sole purpose of eating a single breakfast.

And when Lin Xiaolu finished washing up and walked into the dining room, there were already two other people having breakfast at the table.

One was Bai Ji, and the other was Bai Jingxuan.

Bai Ji, or rather, Qiu Yun's presence was not surprising; after all, this person always presented themselves as meticulous to the outside world, and their self-requirements could be fully described as strict; not wanting to lie in bed was only natural; and Bai Jingxuan... actually wasn't strange either; last night she was the first to leave, simply because she was caught by Senior Cuique to go to sleep halfway through the game.

On the contrary, Lin Xiaolu's arrival made the other two feel greatly surprised.

"Sister Xiaolu? Why did you get up so early today?" Bai Jingxuan didn't hold back, asking whatever came to mind.

Qiu Yun, standing nearby, after a brief eye contact, said "Good morning," then lowered her head to focus on dealing with her own breakfast.

"Just getting out of bed; if I really wanted to get up, wouldn't it be easy?"

Lin Xiaolu walked to the table, pulled out a chair, and said with feigned ease: "The reason I got up late before wasn't that I couldn't get up, just that there was no need."

"Is that so?" With a spoon full of porridge in her mouth, Bai Jingxuan only uttered two words before the spoon handle at her lips began to flap up and down, causing Qiu Yun nearby to glance sideways, then silently use her hand to block her own bowl.

"To speak truly, I am still a bit sleepy."

Lin Xiaolu thought for a moment, feeling she really shouldn't have spoken so absolutely, so she slightly modified her previous statement, then continued: "But... hmm, today is a rare day."

"A rare day?" Probably feeling it was inconvenient to speak with her mouth full, Bai Jingxuan took the spoon out of her mouth.

"Don't you understand?" Lin Xiaolu lightly raised her eyebrows, then smiled and turned her gaze away, looking towards the kitchen: "Oh, you don't understand..."

At this moment, Senior Cuique, wearing an apron, happened to walk out of the kitchen.

She had come out because of the conversation in the dining room; since she was responsible for cooking this morning, the first thing she saw after coming out was Lin Xiaolu staring directly at her.

"You actually got up?"

She first uttered the same sigh as the others, but when she noticed Lin Xiaolu's expression now, she couldn't help but squint her eyes: "What's going on? Why are you smiling so strangely?"

"Nothing, good morning."

Lin Xiaolu immediately reined in her expression and sat up straight: "I just chatted with Bai Jingxuan about some interesting things."

"Is that so."

Senior Cuique suspected nothing, simply turned back, ladled a bowl of porridge from the kitchen, and brought it to Lin Xiaolu along with a fried egg: "So why are you up so early? Couldn't sleep? Stayed up late?"

"I slept."

Lin Xiaolu carefully took the porridge bowl from Senior Cuique's hands: "I just had something important to do this morning, so I got up."

"Hmm?" Senior Cuique was puzzled.

"Look, you said yesterday that you have nothing else to do today, so you'll stay at the base and be in charge of breakfast, right?" Lin Xiaolu explained.

She was stating a fact.

Since it was already the fourth day of the New Year and the Special Strategy Bureau's shifts rotated every three days, Lin Yun, as the Director, had ensured the first shift ran smoothly and thus had good reason to take a day off.

However, she hadn't quite figured out what connection there was between her day off and Lin Xiaolu getting up early.

"So..."

Lin Xiaolu's next words answered her doubt: "As soon as I thought it was you making breakfast, I got up."

Those words sounded like they explained nothing, but upon closer thought, it became clear what Lin Xiaolu meant—she felt that since Senior Cuique was making breakfast today, she had come.

"... That's sickeningly sweet."

Having understood this hurdle, Senior Cuique could only sigh helplessly, looked up, and tapped the back of Lin Xiaolu's head: "Don't I make breakfast for you often enough? Don't suddenly say such strange things."

Lin Xiaolu just smiled in response and offered no rebuttal.

This mode of interaction, observed by Bai Jingxuan and Qiu Yun across the table, was naturally very strange.

Bai Jingxuan didn't think there was anything wrong with Lin Xiaolu acting this way; after all, she herself always showed her likes and dislikes openly, but she had never before seen her "Sister Xiaolu" act so affectionately toward Senior Cuique.

As for Qiu Yun, her expression shifted from calm to confused, then from confused to understanding, before she finally lowered her head to look at the half-finished porridge in her bowl, turning into an awkward "Maybe I shouldn't be here."

Fortunately, this state didn't last long; as Senior Cuique returned to the kitchen alone, the turbulent atmosphere at the dining table faded like ripples caused by a thrown stone.

Lin Xiaolu, as if no one else was there, picked up her spoon and blew on the scooped porridge sip by sip, while Bai Jingxuan had already finished her porridge and was leisurely peeling the eggshell in her hand.

Only Qiu Yun, after a long silence, slowly raised her head and looked at Lin Xiaolu with a complex expression:

"How, exactly, did you manage that?"

"Huh?"

Lin Xiaolu was stunned by the words; at first, she didn't even realize who was speaking to her, and by the time she realized Qiu Yun was asking her a question, several seconds had passed: "Manage what?"

"Just... being able to say such things so brazenly."

Qiu Yun rubbed her thumb against the rim of her bowl: "Don't you feel very awkward?"

She wasn't particularly familiar with Lin Xiaolu, but having spent half a month together, she trusted her judgment of people and shouldn't be wrong: Lin Xiaolu was, clearly, someone fundamentally very insincere, just like herself.

Therefore, the second half of that sentence, left unsaid, was her belief that if it were Lin Xiaolu from half a month ago, she probably wouldn't have been able to do what she just did.

"Ah, you mean that."

Lin Xiaolu understood, then stuffed the porridge in her hand into her mouth, looked upward, clearly pondering how to express herself. After a short while, she spoke again: "Do you feel awkward acting spoiled with your mom?"

"Eh?"

Qiu Yun's train of thought was interrupted by the sudden counter-question; a moment later, she answered somewhat hesitantly: "I don't know?"

"Don't know? Ah, oh, sorry."

Lin Xiaolu understood the other's answer without much effort; her gaze toward Qiu Yun held a bit less rejection and a bit more understanding. She placed the spoon in her hand back into the bowl and raised a finger: "Then you can make an assumption. Assume you are still with your mother right now; how would you feel?"

Qiu Yun fell silent.

She gave no further recollection in response to Lin Xiaolu's "assumption," nor was it clear whether she was thinking of an answer or immersed in her own memories.

Just as she remained unresponsive, Bai Jingxuan, sitting nearby, had already eaten the egg in her hand in three swift motions, held her bowl, and ran into the kitchen with her cheeks puffed out.

"Five Thunder Gate Collapse!"

Before running into the kitchen, the other two also heard her muffled words.

The dining table was suddenly left with only two people.

Immersed in her own thoughts, Qiu Yun paid no attention to Bai Jingxuan's actions; she simply kept searching her mind for her lingering memories of her mother, piecing together that somewhat distorted image in her mind again, and then arrived at an answer she was not yet fully certain of.

She opened her mouth again, wanting to voice this answer and discuss it with Lin Xiaolu, but she saw that Lin Xiaolu had already lifted the bowl before her with great vigor.

Then, under Qiu Yun's horrified gaze, she pressed her mouth directly to the rim of the bowl.

Heaven help us, to ensure that all the late-rising team members also got hot porridge, Senior Cuique had kept the porridge in the pressure cooker on the stove, reheating it over the fire from time to time. In other words, even if Lin Xiaolu had arrived a bit late, the porridge in her bowl was now hot enough to make someone stick out their tongue.

But now, right before Qiu Yun's eyes, Lin Xiaolu, who had been slowly blowing and sipping her porridge a moment ago, went straight for it with her mouth.

Then, under her watch, her neck bulged and contracted as she gulped down all the porridge in the bowl as if it were cold water.

Is this person crazy?

Qiu Yun didn't know the answer, but Lin Xiaolu didn't give her a chance to ponder deeply; she stuffed the egg on the table into her pajama pocket, picked up her bowl, and rushed into the kitchen in a hurry.

"I'm coming too!"

The speed of her action, the decisiveness of her decision, and the absurdity of her motive left Qiu Yun in awe.

So much so that shortly afterward, Senior Cuique's scolding voice—"It's only two bowls, you two are squishing me!"—failed to reach her ears.

As for how the situation had evolved into such a state, if one were to trace it back, it actually had to go back to a few days ago.

Specifically, to the answer Senior Cuique gave when faced with Lin Xiaolu's question: "Can I treat you as my mother?"

—"I don't see you as Ying, nor could I ever be Ying. If you truly want to find her shadow in me, the final result will likely only be disappointment."

That was her answer.

She didn't know what state of mind Lin Xiaolu was in when making such a request; although for her, regardless of her identity, the daughter relying on her a bit more wasn't really a big problem.

However, she still spoke her most honest thoughts frankly.

Facing Lin Xiaolu, Senior Cuique's identity was ultimately just a disguise; her true identity was Lin Yun, and in Lin Yun's eyes, she could clearly see the traces of home from when Anya was still there.

She knew how much Anya doted on her daughter, and she knew how much the daughter clung to Anya; she was very clear that no one could ever replace Anya's position in Lin Xiaolu's heart.

Even though Lin Xiaolu has shown trust and even intimacy toward the identity of Senior Cuique at this stage, and even Lin Xiaolu herself feels this sentiment comes from the heart, Senior Cuique is worried, worried that she cannot play the role of the "mother" her daughter wants.

Moreover, she understands very well that the identity of Senior Cuique will not exist in the long run.

One day in the future, when she confesses everything and reveals the fact that "Senior Cuique is Lin Yun," everything she has done as Senior Cuique now will inevitably undergo a round of re-examination.

Senior Cuique asks herself that until now, except for lying about concealing her identity, most of what she has done can be said to be without guilt, so there are not too many problems.

But this time, if she truly follows the good path and acts according to Lin Xiaolu's wishes, is she not, on the basis of a false identity, deceiving her feelings once again?

"I know."

And facing Senior Cuique's honesty, Lin Xiaolu responds with complete honesty: "I am still missing my mother, and I am very clear that you are not her."

"It might sound strange to say it, but I have a very strange feeling. Although Senior Cuique you and my mother are completely different, when I am with you, I always have the same feeling as when I am with my mother."

"Although it is not the same person, we have the same feeling when we are together. No matter how I think about it, there is only one answer."

"I like you, Senior Cuique."

"My feelings about the emotion of 'liking' have always been vague before. I only knew I liked my mother, I didn't like my father that much, I liked the magical girls in the TV, and I didn't like myself."

"It was only later, after I met you, that I felt I could distinguish what kind of feeling this is."

"Whenever I think of that person, I feel a warm current flowing in my heart; whenever I see that person, I feel my heart becoming excited; whenever we are together, my heart becomes very calm; whenever our eyes meet, I wish this moment would last longer."

"I want that person to pay more attention to me, I want to become more important to that person, I want to become intimate, I want to be exclusive, I want... to make you stay for me."

Lin Xiaolu closed her eyes: "Senior Cuique, you said before that once I become an independent magical girl, you will leave, right?"

"I said that, with you as the leader, even if we wait until retirement..."

"What if I say I want 'forever'?"

Senior Cuique fell silent once again.

She could give as many false promises as she wanted, but facing her daughter, she could not lie about this matter.

Because whether it is Senior Cuique or Lin Yun, perhaps one day they will both leave their daughter's life.

And this silence also brought another interpretation to Lin Xiaolu.

"I'm sorry... were you scared?"

She stepped back two steps slightly, restoring the distance between the two to the beginning: "I'm very sorry to let you see me like this... but I feel I can no longer hide from you, nor deceive myself."

"I'm not as smart as Xia Liang, nor as obedient as Bai Jingxuan. Every time I see you interacting with them, I feel the feeling of jealousy that I simply cannot control."

"I also want to be intimate with you as naturally as Xia Liang, and I also want to speak out my liking as recklessly as Bai Jingxuan. I want to be like them... no, I want to be more favored than them."

"But I am also really afraid that I am completely deluding myself. After all, Senior Cuique, as a senior, you have already helped me enough. If I, as a junior, still shamelessly cling on, it really seems too annoying."

Speaking to this point, she pressed her lips together: "Although right now, I seem shameless enough already."

"It's just that, compared to thinking wildly every day and letting the emotion of jealousy spread every day, I feel it is better to say it out properly and tell you these thoughts."

"If you can agree, that is naturally the best. If you think I am annoying like this, or hateful, then I can also properly put myself in my place in the future..."

— "Little Lulu."

Senior Cuique's words interrupted Lin Xiaolu's increasingly fast speech.

She did not say much, but just those two words made Lin Xiaolu, whose thoughts were like a derailed train, stop her wild thinking and look blankly at Senior Cuique.

"Ying has always called you that, right?"

Senior Cuique sighed, slowly raised both hands, and then opened them to both sides: "Stop thinking wildly, come."

"Is it really okay?" Lin Xiaolu said steadily.

"If you don't come, I'll stop." Senior Cuique lowered her eyelids.

As soon as she finished speaking, she saw Lin Xiaolu take two steps forward and suddenly give a bear hug.

The force was great, but only great for a fourteen-year-old girl; for Senior Cuique, who maintained a magical girl's body, it could be said to have no force at all.

The two embraced, and it was only an embrace, without any extra words, because the embrace was an action sufficient to convey all emotions.

"I will go. Sooner or later, one day, I will leave."

After a long time, Senior Cuique spoke: "I told you before that we could wait until you retire, but actually I don't know if I can wait that long myself."

"Mm." Lin Xiaolu rested her chin on Senior Cuique's shoulder and responded softly.

"But, if that day comes, and you have become an independent magical girl, at that time, you can choose to follow and walk with me."

Senior Cuique's voice was equally faint: "I will not block you, nor do I have the right to block you, because no one can stop an independent magical girl."

"Mm." The sound of Lin Xiaolu exhaling was a bit heavier.

"And then, before that..."

Senior Cuique paused slightly for a while, as if making some kind of resolution:

— "If you want to, no matter who you think I am, act spoiled freely."