Chapter 1152: with translation of chapter title

NO．57：Chénguāng: So does my sister actually have any xp issues?

Any change in attitude should involve a process.

Moreover, most of these also require time.

Chengtian Bai Ren does not lack time, for as an undergraduate who has not yet graduated, although she has some mercenary experience, she in fact has not been stationed with any mercenary organization.

She is still just a college student, and her graduate school preparations are not going well, because she still loves to slack off.

In terms of academic standing, Chengtian Bai Ren and Dazhenhan are like the two ends of a line—both slack off, but the actual situation of a poor student and an excellent student is naturally worlds apart.

However, slackers have plenty of time.

So much so that even if Chengtian Bai Ren were to take on a disciple, it would not interfere with her studies, which appear to be completely unimportant to her.

While Lindun trainer was still struggling with his tumultuous days, Bai Ren had already become quite familiar with that 'disciple'.

If one asks why the word 'disciple' is in quotation marks, it is naturally because although the horse‑racing circle has developed to this day, it has never truly seen any hereditary school.

Chengtian Bai Ren is neither an inheritor nor a founder of any school, so naturally she has no concept of taking on disciples.

The only reason she wanted to guide Manchester Chazuo was because, on that initial saichang, she saw the girl's excellent demeanor.

That talent was even more outstanding than her own at the time.

If it were her, she would surely be able to easily break through the shadows, right?

But perhaps the child would choose to harness the shadow—after actually coming into contact several times with Manchester Chazuo, Chengtian Bai Ren could not help but face the fact that this child's path diverges from her own.

She does not fear Hei'an, nor does she reject Hei'an; she is even willing to be adjacent to Hei'an.

In such inclusiveness, she even felt she caught a glimpse of something resembling Dazhenhan.

Not from that soft, flowing hair, but from that steady demeanor.

Although Dazhenhan, besides steadiness, also possesses a touch of elegance, while Chazuo's steadiness coupled with obedience still differs.

Yet that purity, which seems naturally mighty, fearless and untroubled, often makes Chengtian Bai Ren lament that the juniors' qualities are like waves piling up, ever more vigorous.

By comparison, the self that has never considered tearing off the nose‑patch, even if capable of breaking through shadows, still fears pure Hei'an.

Thus appearing ever more cowardly.

By using the nose‑patch as a real‑world psychological anchor, carrying out self‑hypnosis so that she no longer fears any Hei'an's comfort zone.

She understands from the bottom of her heart that this is still a form of escape.

Regardless of whether the effect is permanent or not, regardless of how she performs on the saichang, this weakness residing in courage, pertaining to psychology, she has continually tried to ignore, trying not to think about it.

Yet deep down, she longs so much to fill that gap.

Because it is a yearning for a more ideal self.

Unrelated to running or hobbies, it is merely a desire for a somewhat more perfect self.

These past few days, she often finds herself unable to stop thinking about it.

Because she finally revealed her hobby in front of her sister, or rather, her sister's perception is astonishing—able, without ever having seen Aomo's demonic transformation, to lock onto Aomo based solely on the temperament in that photo after a few hesitant inferences.

And this confirmation allowed Pípá Chénguāng to shift from her initial viewpoint of 'Gan oh, is my sister's XP too weird?!' to 'It's actually Lindun trainer?! That means she actually likes the person!!'

Moreover, not mentioning the next moment, her mind also flashed with 【office worker】: 'Won't he be too young? He's only 19, right,' 【female】: 'He already has two girlfriends, right? Can the sister be suitable with him?,' 【older sister】: 'Stop stop stop stop, does liking the demonized form also count as liking?' and so on, hesitation under various identity labels.

No matter what, as the older sister, giving the self‑proclaimed 'look‑controller' younger sister emotional sorting is always correct, even though Pípá Chénguāng herself has no romantic experience, but!

Holding aloft the banner of 'no experience makes one more neutral,' and upholding the truth of data and formulas, Pípá Chénguāng successfully——

causing the younger sister to doubt her own fluttering feeling:

Whether her fondness for Aomo, aside from that special aesthetic, is also entangled in a misjudgment of fear?

In fact, Chengtian Bai Ren, who cannot help but tremble each time she gazes at that posture, from the initial pupil turmoil to gradually being able to approach, gradually being able to be calm, indeed, under the sister's analysis and dissection of her feelings, gradually becomes unable to discern the true nature of her own emotions.

What is the essence of the charm that makes it truly hard for her to look away—is it affection, or a misjudged fear?

Indeed, for the vast majority of people, fear is fear, liking is liking; there is no misjudgment between them, and they certainly cannot be conflated.

But for Chengtian Bai Ren, who once sought a psychiatrist's help to conduct self‑hypnosis, Hei'an is truly a concept that evokes complex feelings.

She can break through shadows, but she has never decided to challenge Hei'an.

The cost of a single patch to resist Hei'an is truly too low, letting her grow accustomed to having many things on her nose bridge, and her sister, out of concern, has told her that this is fine, no need to change.

She has lived this perfectly natural life up to now; silent and reserved, and adept at endurance, she also will not speak of these past events to others.

Over time, she almost feels she no longer fears Hei'an, while her sister has grown accustomed to the 'reality' of 'Bai Ren does not fear Hei'an'; even if she sees Aomo Lindun's demonic transformation, which later haunts her dreams, she merely regards it as her XP system being relatively advanced.

Emmm… well, it's not that exceptionally advanced, you see—on the voting website there are so many compatriots keeping up with the version!

These people are just like those who, while watching Dijia, constantly barrage the bullet comments about Quan Teng's waist; they linger over the photo's figure, wing tips, tail, and scale‑covered abs, coloring everything—although this often leaves the fan‑group leader exasperated in the chat, it also makes Bai Ren feel a sense of closeness.

Although she herself cannot type those words, she fully understands!

Wa ga lu!

Just as she was indulging in the exploration of this new door, a chance occurrence allowed Chengtian Bai Ren—who never considered confiding her worries to a junior schoolmate, and would never say to an underclassman 'I'm afraid of the dark'—to hear Manchester Chazuo's definition of its own trainer.

"Trainer… very special, although looks intimidating, but also quite handsome…"

At first hearing it seemed just the usual positive evaluation that horse‑girls give their trainers; Chengtian Bai Ren, having heard who knows how many such remarks over the years, originally paid it no mind, merely wondering where Aomo that guy usually looks intimidating, and then she heard the next sentence:

"Always entwined with Hei'an, even recently it remains the same."

"Very profound… and also a gentle Hei'an……like the night sky, leaving much… room for shining things."