Chapter 152

— Liu Guozong's Spring Diary, entry sixty-seven

In the first half of the spring night, the crabapple blossoms opened with spring red. I ask myself, do I know? Do I know? Tomorrow, however, will be spring wind and willows—green lush, red faded.

Finally I understood that woman who was searching and seeking: when the dust settles, the moon wanes and flowers fade, in the flowing years like water, those drips of evening rain—could they not make one recall those withered glorious years?

Even if you take good care of yourself, you cannot let the tree of life stay evergreen.

I write while gazing at the clock, just as I walk while gazing at the crowd and the future.

What will time bring me? What will the crowd bring me? What will the future bring me?

I hope, wait, strive, endeavor, converse, remain silent. In a corner of the city, a corner of the crowd, a corner of life, a corner of loneliness, a corner of imagination—

The poet says: "The world is a great stage, men and women are actors."

"Do you love me?" the woman said first.

Why does the woman speak first? Because the woman was tempted by the snake, first stole and ate the forbidden fruit, and her heart lacks vital energy. Once the man says "no," she will become dazed and confused.

Is there any man who does not love women?

The man says: "I love…… I am thirsty…… I am thirsty……"

So, when the woman in the Garden of Eden handed the forbidden fruit to the man, the man didn't even think, and without hesitation swallowed it in one gulp.

The man says: "I love you more deeply……"

Among women, the most cold‑blooded is Wu Ma, the maid in Boss Zhao's household—this "woman… Wu Ma… little widow…" When Ah Q courted her, everyone in the mill house knelt before her, yet she remained so cold‑blooded…

Scholar Zhao shouldn't call Ah Q a cuckold. It's the clueless Wu Ma who is the cuckold!

Of course, the one who seeks the scholar is even more of a cuckold! Because he has two wives, one open, one kept. A man with two wives, yet he won't allow Ah Q to love Wu Ma.

"This cuckold…… that Boss Zhao……"

"Not loving would be fine, to avoid producing entangling, heart‑wrenching ties that affect career development; there are many beauties in the world superior to Wu Ma…… Perhaps, I… that celebrity would chase me, I still wouldn't want…… my son would be stronger than you, Scholar Zhao……" Ah Q thought.

In a spring dream unaware of dawn, I dreamed the moon in outer space was gazing at me. The poet says—

"I am thirsty…… I am thirsty……"

I kiss your hand and eye!

I seem to hear you say, stopping:

'Shh…… shh…… forget the kiss!'

When your soul and I gaze at each other,

Everything is beautiful.

Praise, life! Praise, life!

May God grant you victory!''

\