Chapter 164: 256 Chapters

256 Chapters: "I Love Being With You at Dusk."

256 Chapters: "I Love You, at That Dusk..."

——Liu Guozong's Spring Diary, Entry Seventy‑seven

In the late night of spring, the city is still and the clouds are dark. Not even the faint shadows of stars are visible in the sky. All I see is darkness and stillness. I just like this state of darkness and stillness. Because in the dark night, people cannot tell whether I am beautiful or ugly, good or evil, happy or angry, false or genuine, …

At the same time, in stillness I can also reflect on my faults. The day passes hurriedly, night arrives quietly. In this moment of dark night and quiet people, my spirit asks me: "You, this tiny and turbid life, what have you thought of? What have you seen? What have you awakened to?"

I thought of myself as a tree, a tree standing in wind and rain. A tree awaiting spring, hoping for summer, hoping to grow, hoping to bloom, hoping to bear fruit, hoping to give.

In the drizzling rain and snow, I often shout: "Come quickly, spring wind, I hope you soon blow me green; come quickly, sunshine, I hope you come soon to shine on me."

"I hope that in the spring wind, tiny life will sprout and become perfect; I hope that in the sunshine, tiny life will be displayed and recognized."

In this still and dark moment, I see the mirage of days past, and in the humid air it appears faintly; as for where the beautiful mirage lies, belonging to childhood and youth, in this dim still‑dark I cannot say.

This world has many things that cannot be explained; for those unexplainable things, it's better not to speak of them, lest one become more confused. Isn't there a saying, "It's rare to be muddled"? It's better for the world to be a little muddled. If everything were clear, one would instead suffer.

A great poet said: "I see that all tiny things do not wish to perish on their own." These tiny things certainly include trees, the tree in silence, the tree in wind and rain,

Every tree wants to bloom and bear fruit, to prove itself with its flowers and fruits; or else it wants to become useful material, to find its place in the vast world.

Dawn has come, spring has also come. But I cannot tell whether dawn follows spring or spring follows dawn.

Dawn arrives, spring arrives. In spring, whether you are a tree or a blade of grass, in short, all living beings' efforts and hopes will turn into green leaves, flowers, and … under the sunshine and in the spring breeze.

Dawn, I love you; sunshine, I you; spring wind, I love you. At that dusk, at that deep‑night quiet, at this dawn…