Chapter 211: The Tribulation of Inner Demons (Part 2)

"It's fine to chat for a bit," the Director Granny said, wearing a regretful expression. "As you both just learned, there are currently no boys in the orphanage who meet your requirements."

In this era, no one would abandon a healthy boy.

Although little Ruan Xing had only been in the orphanage for a little over a month, there weren't many children there, so she had quickly gotten to know them all; the few boys in the orphanage were either intellectually disabled or had physical handicaps.

The ones whose conditions weren't quite as severe had all been adopted.

That middle-aged couple had rather high standards, and they didn't take a liking to any of the ones left.

The middle-aged man smiled kindly, asked her name and age, then said critically, "She's a bit old, she already remembers things."

"Isn't it good to remember things? I will always remember how kind Uncle and Auntie are to me," little Ruan Xing said with an innocent face. "I can also do chores."

The middle-aged woman asked, "What can you do?"

Little Ruan Xing smiled ingratiatingly, "I can wipe tables, wash dishes, and sweep the floor. When Auntie gives birth to a little brother in the future, I can also help Auntie wash diapers and play with the little brother."

The woman couldn't help but laugh, "Let's go with her."

"Don't you want to look a bit more?" the man asked her.

"She said I can give birth to a son," the woman said with a joyful face. "She's sweet-talked, I like her. When we come to look at children, isn't it all about that first connection?"

The man pondered it and felt it didn't really matter; after all, the doctor had told him it would be very difficult for him to have his own children in this life, and he always felt uncomfortable in his heart about raising someone else's son.

The two agreed to come back tomorrow to handle the adoption paperwork.

The Director Granny looked at little Ruan Xing with a smile, "Smart children will live well wherever they go."

"I wasn't smart before either," little Ruan Xing said. "After I met Granny, I suddenly became enlightened. It must be because Granny taught me well."

Granny then smiled and shook her head.

She had said that on purpose just now.

Mom and Dad were arguing every day because of the matter of a son.

She said Auntie would have a son, so Auntie should be very happy, right?

The next day, the two came as promised.

Little Ruan Xing began the happy life she had dreamed of.

She had a big house to live in, a soft and warm bed to sleep in, new clothes to wear, she wouldn't be beaten, she wouldn't go hungry, and they even enrolled her in a nearby elementary school.

They said, "From now on, you must change how you address us to Mom and Dad."

"Dad, Mom," she called out, following their lead.

Her new mother didn't make her do the chores she had mentioned, but instead truly doted on her as her own daughter.

Little Ruan Xing almost forgot that she was originally just a rat in the sewer; after being loved by others and raised to be plump and fair, she thought she was a fancy rat.

She lived such days for a full three years.

Humans are the kind of creatures that, once they have possessed something, will become extremely empty and unwilling to let go when they lose it again.

She thought she possessed love.

This illusion came to an abrupt end when she was nine years old.

Mom and Dad were whispering in their room, and little Ruan Xing pressed her ear against the door to eavesdrop on what little secrets they had.

Dad said, "The two-child policy is open, why don't we go adopt a son? Xiao Xing will be grown up in a few more years, and once she marries out, our home will be empty again."

Although his daughter was thoughtful and sensible, he still wanted a son.

Mom, however, hesitated and said, "Actually... I'm pregnant, just two months along. I didn't have the heart to tell you."

Both of them were nearing forty; if they had had a child right after getting married, the child would be in high school by now. Getting pregnant only now was something people would laugh at if they heard.

"Really!?" Dad was ecstatic at first, then suspicious, "The hospital checked and said I couldn't have children. You wouldn't have been having an affair with another man behind my back, would you?"

"What nonsense are you talking about!"

Mom punched him in shame and anger, "Am I that kind of person? The doctor said it was difficult, not that the probability was zero. No matter how small the chance is, if you do it enough times over a long enough period, you'll hit the mark eventually, right?"

"That's wonderful!" Dad excitedly hugged Mom and kissed her twice.

"But, what about Xiao Xing?"

Dad said casually, "Didn't you say she's very sensible? She should be able to take care of herself, right? If it really doesn't work out, when you're close to giving birth, we'll just send her back to the countryside and let my dad look after her."

"That won't do, your dad is unreliable. We've raised Xiao Xing for so long, even raising a puppy would build some attachment. Don't tell Xiao Xing yet."

"Fine, whatever you say, I'll listen to you."

Little Ruan Xing silently retreated to the sofa in the living room, took out her homework from her schoolbag, and lay on the table to write.

She was copying a text.

"When the thundercloud rumbles in the sky, the June showers fall..."

She wrote very, very slowly, so slowly that the rain also fell onto her workbook.

The following spring, the little brother was born.

They named him Mo Fan.

Dad said proudly, "Mo Fan, it means 'no worries' and 'not ordinary.' Our son will definitely be successful when he grows up! It also sounds like 'model,' which is a good omen. I thought about it for three nights to come up with such a good name, how is it?"

Mom was still in her postpartum recovery period; she endured the pain in her abdomen and lower body, holding the soft little baby to breastfeed, her whole body radiating maternal glory, "Not bad. Xiao Fan, Xiao Fan, oh, he's grabbing me, his little hands are so strong!"

"Mo Xing, what do you think? Does it sound good?" Dad asked her.

Little Ruan Xing hurriedly praised, "It's concise and grand, it sounds better than the names of any of my classmates. Dad is really good at naming."

Dad then smiled with satisfaction.

To take care of the mother and son, the family hired a new confinement nanny.

That nanny looked down on her, saying she wanted to teach her how to boil soup for Mom, but instead scalded a large blister on her arm, scolding her, "You can't even do a little bit of work, you don't look like a girl at all! After I finish serving the confinement period and leave, let's see how you take care of your mom!"

Mom heard this but didn't say anything, and the nanny became even bolder in ordering her around. Little Ruan Xing just smiled ingratiatingly, working hard to finish her schoolwork while also starting to learn more ways to care for infants and pregnant mothers after school.

It was just that her efforts were not seen by anyone.

Perhaps because the nanny said it so many times, after a long while, Mom felt that what she said made sense.

Staying up late to take care of the child made her irritable, and she blamed young Ruan Xing in a terrible tone, "Didn't you say when you first came that you could do chores and take care of your younger brother? Why is it that you only know how to talk but not how to do anything?"

She was a glamorous city dweller, and the times were constantly progressing.

When young Ruan Xing was at the factory, she had never heard of things like maternity matrons, diapers, talcum powder, or baby face cream.

She clutched the corner of her shirt helplessly and said with her head lowered, "I'm sorry, Mom, I will learn."

But Mom did not give her that chance.

Having never raised a baby before, Mom lived a frantic and overwhelmed life at the age of forty.

After the midterm exams, young Ruan Xing's grades had slipped a lot, and her teacher sternly told her to have her parents come to the school.

She told Mom with a nervous heart.

Mom refused her without hesitation, "I don't have time to go. If you cause me any more trouble, don't live here anymore; I'll send you back to the old hometown."

Young Ruan Xing silently backed out of the room.

For the first time, she felt that the house wasn't actually that big.

It couldn't even hold little her.

The maternity matron finally finished her service, and young Ruan Xing didn't even have time to catch her breath.

That same evening, Mom and Father were discussing things in their room.

"Honey, I really can't take care of the child by myself; he's too restless and cries every night. I want to have my mom come over."

"Where will your mom stay if she comes? Our home only has two bedrooms and a living room. Because the maternity matron was sharing a room with you before, I've already slept on the sofa for a month, and my back is aching. Don't make things difficult for me."

"You can stay in Xiao Xing's room. Besides, the child being restless at night affects your rest too. How can you go to work if you don't have energy during the day?"

"Xiao Xing is almost ten years old, how can I stay with her?"

"Just... send her back to the old hometown for a while. Once Xiao Fan is more sensible, we'll bring her back."

"Sigh, alright then. This is what you said."

A two-hour and forty-three-minute green-skinned train, plus a four-hour medium-sized bus ride.

Young Ruan Xing carried her schoolbag and two changes of clothes to this village where even the roads hadn't been paved.

She transferred to the town's primary school and had to get up early every day to walk for forty-five minutes.

Grandfather was a slovenly old man who lived alone, and his house was a mess everywhere. After taking young Ruan Xing back, he said indifferently, "Find a place to sit yourself."

He never lit a fire to cook; the kitchen was covered in spiderwebs, and the ground in the courtyard was overgrown with weeds. Every day he would sway out to smoke, brag, and play cards, and when he returned full and satisfied, he would toss two cold steamed buns to young Ruan Xing.

Others envied him for having a good son who made big money in the city; although he rarely came back, he sent money every year to ensure the old man lived a life without worry.

Young Ruan Xing pursed her lips and said with difficulty, "Grandfather, I want to live at school."

"Live there then, why tell me?"

"I need to pay four hundred and fifty yuan for boarding fees and nine hundred yuan for meal fees each semester."

"Didn't your dad give you money?" The old man paused for a moment.

Young Ruan Xing was silent.

Mom and Father had never given her money. When she went to school, she didn't even have a penny of pocket money. She had never eaten snacks, drunk carbonated drinks, been to an amusement park, or bought toys.

Sometimes she would envy other people's children for having everything, but in the end, she would always tell herself in her heart, you are already very happy, you must learn to be content.

She knew Mom and Father were already very good to her, and she couldn't ask for too much.

But now, without money, she felt very embarrassed when she had to open her mouth to this strange old man.

She felt like a beggar asking for alms.

If she hadn't gone to the orphanage in the first place, hadn't been adopted by Mom and Father, and had just kept wandering and begging on the streets, perhaps she wouldn't be so embarrassed now.

The old man scratched his head in annoyance.

In the end, she got her wish and lived at school.

She silently studied at school, scoring one hundred after another, but no one cared about her grades anymore.

She rarely returned to Grandfather's place. On weekends or holidays, she would trade helping others with their homework for the chance to play at their homes and incidentally bum a meal. Many children were very willing, and their parents, upon learning that their child was good friends with the top student in school, also warmly welcomed young Ruan Xing to their homes.

Mom and Father also seemed to have forgotten her; they hadn't even made a single phone call.

In the sixth grade, she got her period.

Blood stained her school uniform pants, and her mind was as blank as her face.

The new life teacher was a young male teacher; he gave her three days off in some embarrassment and told her to go home and ask her mother.

Driven by some strange impulse, she returned to Grandfather's place.

There was no one in the house; they must have gone out to play cards. Young Ruan Xing turned on the faucet to wash her school uniform pants.

The old man hummed a tune as he entered the house. Seeing young Ruan Xing, he widened his eyes in surprise, then saw the faint red in the basin and asked, "Did you sleep with someone?"

Young Ruan Xing's breath hitched.

Twelve-year-old Ruan Xing already understood what this meant.

She knew this grandfather spoke very vulgarly, but he paid her boarding and meal fees every year, so she thought he should be a good person.

But hearing this sentence, she felt she might have made a wrong judgment.