Chapter 293: A Full Bowl of Earthenware, Bowing Head to Withdraw

It was the ninth month, the season of late autumn.

A thousand li away, outside Pingyuan City in Pingyuan Commandery, Qingzhou, someone was being seen off at a ten-li pavilion — the local county magistrate, Liu Bei, Liu Xuande.

"Everyone, please go back!" At twenty-eight, Liu Bei was in the prime of his life, and having served as magistrate of a large county for three or four years, he had naturally acquired a dignified bearing despite his naturally sparse beard. "The autumn harvest is at its busiest — why go to such trouble and stir so many people just for my sake?"

The crowd seeing him off — from local subordinate officials to the village elders, along with a number of powerful gentry and wandering swordsmen — looked at one another, all disconsolate, yet they simply would not listen, nor were they willing to say much, instead continuing to follow without pause.

With everyone so sincere, Liu Bei could do nothing but let them accompany him for a long while more. At last, around noon, they reached the second pavilion lodge, twenty li from the city. They were on the verge of leaving Pingyuan County's borders and entering Qinghe Principality in neighboring Jizhou. Only then, with great effort, did Liu Bei persuade the group to stop. He himself, together with Jian Yong and a few attendants, continued eastward along the Qing River.

It must be said: Liu Xuande endured hardship in his youth, and later, when he suddenly found himself studying in Luoyang alongside a pack of young lords, he lost his grip for a time and picked up quite a few vices regarding wealth and luxury — racing chariots, fighting dogs, playing cards, and chess — but he alone had no love of study, and so was never held in anyone's regard. However, when he came of age and returned home, with nothing accomplished, he faced his mother's death. Under that heavy blow, he markedly improved, learning to keep his emotions from showing on his face, gradually understanding how to honor the worthy and humble himself, and devoting himself wholeheartedly to treating others well. Afterward, as a wandering swordsman, he threw himself into military service, then served as county magistrate for several years. In the end, from physique to spirit, from depth of mind to practical ability, he received ample tempering and growth.

It was precisely for this reason that, though his heart was full of emotion and sentiment upon leaving office, Liu Bei's expression never changed. After bidding farewell to everyone, he did not even ride in a carriage, but instead, together with Jian Yong — despite the latter's difficulty walking — spared no hardship and directly rode off on horseback.

After traveling several more li, they arrived at a pavilion lodge already within the borders of Qinghe Principality. Only then did Liu Xuande dismount to settle in briefly. Yet the moment he dismounted, disregarding his own status, he personally helped Jian Yong down from his horse.

"I've put you through hardship, Xianhe." Liu Bei felt a twinge of guilt. "According to protocol, we should have taken a carriage, but military affairs are urgent. I must first go to Yuzhou to raise troops, then proceed to Luoyang, so we can only ride."

"Xuande, the way you say that makes it sound as if I've forgotten how to ride after three or four years as assistant county magistrate," Jian Yong said with a laugh. "Besides, when returning to military matters, how can one even consider hardship or not? Back in the day, when we were wandering swordsmen in Youzhou and cavalrymen in the army, I never needed anyone to help me up."

At these words, Liu Bei also broke into a rare laugh — after all, Jian Xianhe was his fellow townsman and closest friend, one of the few trusted confidants who had followed him when he took up the post of Pingyuan magistrate. Moreover, this man was by nature humorous, talkative, and unconstrained by ceremony. To keep his emotions hidden in front of such a person would instead be putting on an act.

Of course, the more important reason was that hearing the other speak of returning to military life genuinely delighted Liu Bei — for, in the end, deep in his bones, Liu Xuande still carried the spirit of a Youzhou wandering swordsman.

The two dismounted, exchanged a few jokes, and naturally, trusted attendants stepped forward to negotiate with the local pavilion chief. This place bordered Pingyuan, so the pavilion chief had certainly heard of Liu Bei's reputation and would not make trouble; on the contrary, he received them properly. Even so, when the pavilion chief heard they wished to stay the night, he could not help but be puzzled. It must be understood that the day was still young, and Liu Bei's entire party was mounted. If they truly meant to press on, they could easily cover some more distance and lodge directly in the city of Shucheng ahead. Why insist on staying overnight in a pavilion lodge?

Of course, the pavilion chief did not voice this question.

It was not until evening, after everyone had eaten, fed the horses, and soaked their feet in hot water, that Jian Yong, unable to hold back, sat barefoot in the main hall, holding a bowl of hot broth, and questioned his friend:

"Xuande, are you deliberately avoiding the cities?"

Liu Bei was writing a letter by lamplight. At this, a faint smile crossed his face, but his brush did not stop. "It is not the cities I am avoiding, but Yide."

"What do you mean by that?" Jian Yong, sitting casually on one side of the low table, had only asked offhandedly at first, but now he was truly puzzled. "Why avoid him? If you ask me, you should have asked him whether he wanted to go to Luoyang with you... Could it be you think that since you only hold the post of Army Major this time, you can't settle him properly?"

Liu Bei continued writing, but immediately shook his head. "It's not that. Yide is selfless at heart and full of personal loyalty — how could he care about rank? If I truly called him, he would surely abandon his post and follow me. But Xianhe, you have also served as an official in Pingyuan with me for a long time. You should know that customs differ from place to place. At this point, we can no longer treat all affairs under heaven with the old wandering-swordsman spirit..."

"That is true," Jian Yong said with feeling. "Before we came to Pingyuan, how could we have imagined Pingyuan had such customs? The wealthy gentry and merchants invariably live in extravagance — those who can wear silk will never wear hemp. And the scholars, every single one of them, are reserved and arrogant; when they meet you, they only ask whether you read the classics and which canon you specialize in. I remember when we first arrived in Pingyuan, the county clerks all hung up their seals and went home, waiting for you to go beg them to return... At first, we thought they looked down on you, Xuande, and nearly drew our swords to cut them down one by one. Only later did we learn that this was simply the local custom."

Under the lamp, Liu Bei could not help laughing again. "Xianhe, stop talking about those things. When you say that, I can't help laughing, and then I make mistakes in my writing."

"How can I not talk about it?" Jian Yong was unimpressed. "For the past several years, we poured all our hearts into this place, to the point of nearly settling down and establishing ourselves here."

Liu Bei smiled again at this. "Indeed. Pingyuan is a prosperous place. In terms of settling down and establishing oneself, though its customs differ from our hometown, it is not necessarily a bad place — it may even be a good place."

"I understand," Jian Yong replied with a scoff. "You harbor great ambitions and are unwilling to marry early, lest you become trapped in the comforts of home. Even when you do marry, you want to emulate those two elder brothers of yours with the double surname Gongsun — seeking a good marriage that can aid your future prospects."

Hearing this, Liu Bei simply set down his brush, momentarily overcome with emotion. "Speaking of which, isn't the city of Shucheng ahead precisely the hometown of Brother Wenqi's wife's family?"

"Indeed," Jian Yong answered bluntly. "Lord Zhao is a native of this place."

Liu Bei looked at him with a serious expression. "Xianhe, regarding what we were just saying — that I am passing through Qinghe and avoiding Yide — it is actually connected to my brother Wenqi."

Jian Yong immediately grew impatient. "Must it be so grave? You have merely always treated him as an elder brother; you are not his private retainer. Why agonize over it so? Besides, this bond of lord and subject is ultimately only a custom, not a law. And though it has no upper limit, it also has no lower bound... Those willing to uphold the bond of lord and subject will naturally be praised, but since we are all subjects of Han, if we do not treat each other with the formalities of lord and subject, is that treason and depravity? It simply means we should try to avoid facing each other in the future. He, Gongsun Xun, is merely a General of the Guards, and one who withdrew back to Youzhou of his own accord. Why must people observe formal allegiance to him?"

"I naturally understand this reasoning." Seeing the other's words growing excessive, Liu Bei hastily stopped him. "It's just that the Commandant of Qinghe is Shen Pei, Shen Zhengnan. This man has always cared deeply about such matters. If I leave today, that's one thing, but if Yide also left with me, then the next time we meet, Shen Zhengnan might well draw his sword, calling us ungrateful wretches who forget favors... Yide is selfless at heart — how could he bear that?"

"That is true," Jian Yong said, shaking his head. "I won't say more to you. Hurry and finish your letter! You're writing to your brother Wenqi to clarify your heart, aren't you?"

The candle flame flickered. Liu Bei gave a bitter smile, first picked up his brush again, then set it down once more.

"What is the meaning of this?" Jian Yong was truly out of patience.

"There is something in my heart," Liu Bei said, turning toward Jian Yong and pointing to his heart, his expression solemn. "If I do not speak it to you, Xianhe, I will not be able to get it out..."

"Speak, then." Jian Yong, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, could only drain the warm broth in one gulp, set down the earthenware bowl he was holding, and with some effort draw in his legs and sit upright to face him properly.

"Since youth, I have harbored great aspirations..." Liu Bei began slowly.

"I know!" Jian Yong immediately cut him off. "When you were little, you pointed at the mulberry tree in front of your house with disloyal intentions. For years, living in a prosperous place like Pingyuan, you neither married nor had children — that was hidden scheming. And now, when Cao Mengde recommends you to enter Luoyang as an Army Major, without a single word you cast aside the General of the Guards' kindness in recognizing your worth and simply abandon your post and leave... Clearly, your disloyal heart has been long in the making."

"What disloyal intentions?" Liu Bei sighed deeply. "Xianhe, I am not jesting with you. Those words from my childhood were nothing more than the result of a fallen family line, a father who died early, and a mother who often encouraged me with talk of being of Han imperial lineage — that was why I spoke so wildly and shamelessly. However, it is true that from then on, I accumulated ambition. Even when I grew a little older and understood that the four words 'Han imperial lineage' were utterly useless, that ambition never changed."

Jian Yong, too, grew serious for once.

In truth, as his fellow townsman and closest friend, how could he not know Liu Bei's difficulties?

A surname of several hundred years — who would acknowledge it?

And from the perspective of the clans and families that could truly share political resources in this age, what could be said of Liu Bei? Both had fathers who died holding low official posts, but the Gongsun clan of Liaoxi was, after all, a border-region lineage that had produced officials at the two-thousand-dan rank for generations. What did the Liu clan beneath the great mulberry tree on the outskirts of Zhuoxian count for? Did anyone truly believe that great mulberry tree had divine properties?

Not to mention, both lost their fathers, both were raised by widowed mothers who engaged in trade — yet Liu Bei's family was so destitute that they had to weave mats and sell sandals to survive, while Lady Gongsun had long since ensured her son would never suffer from want of money his entire life.

To say something even more cutting: even in terms of personal conduct, when they were students, Gongsun Xun had been just that little bit more diligent than Liu Bei.

"And yet I also know that my elder brother Gongsun Wenqi is someone I can never catch up to, no matter how I chase," Liu Bei indeed continued. "I have never thought of measuring myself against him. I will not hide it from you, Xianhe: that day when we met at my home in Zhuoxian, when I heard he had returned from destroying a kingdom and saw him wearing the purple cord and golden seal, I faintly thought in my heart that if I could merely attach myself to his steed's tail in this life, I should be content... And he has never treated me poorly. If not for him, how could I have become a thousand-dan county magistrate before the age of thirty? Even serving for several years in a major county like Pingyuan, offending so many people in between, yet those above and below still gave me face — was it not precisely because I am the younger brother of the General of the Guards?"

"Then why are you still leaving?" Jian Yong could not help but point straight at his heart and demand an answer.

"Because my elder brother has suddenly stopped moving, and I can no longer wait!" Liu Bei sat upright, his expression open and frank. "Xianhe, for years in Pingyuan, we watched as those eunuchs and sons of high families wielded power and indulged their whims without restraint; we watched as those scholars knew only to grow white-haired poring over the classics, sitting and engaging in empty talk; we watched as those powerful gentry draped themselves in silks and gauzes, with no limit to their extravagance... And at the same time, the common people toiled all day yet rarely ate their fill; those who girded on swords to serve the state, shunning neither life nor death, were still looked down upon; those who served with utter loyalty died with no place to be buried! Can you endure it?!"

"I have never been able to endure it!" Jian Yong answered proudly.

"Neither can I." Liu Bei clenched his fist. "But in all my years in Pingyuan, what did I actually do? I merely relied on the name of being the General of the Guards' younger brother to patch things up here and there. I never slaughtered more than a few gentry households, never killed more than a handful of corrupt officials... How can I continue to endure? Xianhe, today the village elders saw me off, saying I had brought virtue to Pingyuan, but in my heart, I only wanted to flee as fast as I could — because I truly did nothing but drift for years, too ashamed to face them! As for what I can accomplish by going to Luoyang, I will not hide it from you, Xianhe: I truly do not know. But I absolutely will not remain in Pingyuan, watching this world continue to sink into filth. Whether the situation is good or bad, I will go to Luoyang to face it personally, and draw my sword! I, Bei, am nearly thirty. I do not seek to establish virtue or establish achievements — I seek only to establish myself!"

"Well said!" The words had barely faded when a sigh of admiration came from outside the door.

Liu Bei and Jian Yong each rose, hands on their swords. But when the lodge door was pushed open, it was a man dressed in the official garb of the pavilion lodge, holding a jug of wine as he stood in the doorway — apparently someone delivering something.

At this sight, the two men breathed a sigh of relief. Liu Bei was even somewhat embarrassed. "A few words from the heart — I have made a fool of myself before you, sir."

"Why should Lord Xuande be so modest?" The man sighed again and entered, bearing the wine. "A true man, born into this world, sets aside personal reputation and advances against hardship. Such breadth of spirit truly moves the heart!"

At these words, the man stepped forward with the wine jug, and using the earthenware bowl Jian Yong had set down earlier, he respectfully filled a bowl of wine for Liu Bei. Then, astonishingly, he set the wine jug down inside the lodge, retreated several steps, and bowed deeply with great reverence: "Your servant... greets Lord Xuande!"

Liu Bei hurriedly moved to help him up, but unexpectedly, the man rose on his own, retreated several more steps, then cupped his hands and spoke frankly: "I will not hide it from Lord Xuande. I am no clerk of this pavilion — I am an assassin... Liu Ping of the Liu clan and Gongsun Du of the Gongsun clan, powerful gentry of Pingyuan County, have offered a hundred gold for Lord Liu's life!"

Jian Yong's hand immediately went back to his sword.

Liu Bei, however, gave a bitter laugh. "Others I could understand, but why would these two want to kill me? Liu Ping is, like me, of Han imperial lineage, and Gongsun Du is a branch member of the Gongsun clan. Both are agents under the Anli Firm and have always been at least superficially courteous to me..."

"That was because they had to be courteous for the General of the Guards' sake," Jian Yong said coldly from the side. "Think about it, Xuande: for years in Pingyuan, your administration has always favored the common people. They have long resented you for it. Now that you have 'turned your back' on the General of the Guards and accepted Cao Mengde's recommendation, they naturally feel they can strike and eliminate a 'pest.'"

"I do not know the reasons," the assassin replied with a laugh, retreating to the doorway. "But it no longer matters. On the strength of Lord Xuande's heart-baring words today alone, I will absolutely not carry out this deed... All day, the elders of Pingyuan saw you off for dozens of li, and I could never get close. Only now, with this bowl of wine, can I offer my regards. May Lord Xuande, on this journey to Luoyang, fulfill his aspiration to establish himself! Farewell!"

With these words, the man turned and left, not pausing for an instant.

Seeing the man's extraordinary bearing, and his even more remarkable agility, Liu Bei had originally wished to ask his name and even detain him for a while, but there was no time.

And after a brief moment, Liu Xuande let out a long sigh, turned around, sat back down in his original spot, and then raised that bowl of wine with a face as calm as ever.

Jian Yong almost instinctively wanted to counsel him, but he saw Liu Bei subtly shake his head in a gesture of refusal: "I had thought myself without virtue or ability, unworthy of having someone cut a flask to offer wine, yet I never expected such a righteous man to bolster my spirit — this wine, I cannot refuse to drink."

With these words, the man drained it in one gulp, then grabbed the letter from the low table and flung it to the ground, evidently not intending to offer any further explanation.

Jian Yong did not try to stop him throughout, only managing a bitter smile.

————I am the no-explanation dividing line————

"At the end of the Zhongping era, Cao Cao was Colonel of the Western Garden's Model Army and recommended Bei as Army Major. Bei was then Prefect of Pingyuan. Upon hearing this, he abandoned his post and followed. Within the commandery, there were some who sided with the Grand Progenitor and, because Bei had abandoned the Gongsun clan, sent an assassin to kill him. The assassin crept into the pavilion lodge, heard Bei lamenting the affairs of the realm, could not bear to assassinate him, spoke of it, and departed." — New Yan Documents, Hereditary Houses, Part Three

Imperial Uncle, oh Imperial Uncle, truly difficult to write!

(End of chapter)