Chapter 240: Itchy Lungs

Li Cheng pushed open the door to find Han Letian, Mu Yulu, and Shao Wangshu standing in the hallway, each carrying a bag of hot pot ingredients.

"Give us a hand,"

Han Letian handed the plastic bag to Li Cheng, glanced inside the room, and said, "Your place is quite clean. A tidy room with no strange odors means you're either a crossdresser or gay."

Welcoming the three inside, Li Cheng retorted, "Do you think I'm like you, filling plastic bottles with milk, cockroaches, Nutri-Express, spicy strips, sour plums, floral water, and raw pork to brew stinky water?"

"That was all back in elementary school, okay? And you did it too."

Han Letian rolled his eyes and, making himself at home, turned on the air conditioner and the television.

"Childish." Mu Yulu pouted, pulling Shao Wangshu down onto the sofa, while the latter looked around curiously.

The apartment was indeed exceptionally clean and tidy; the kitchen and living room were spotless, and even dead corners like the bottom of the coffee table and the edges of the sofa showed little dust.

This wasn't because Li Cheng had mysophobia, but rather due to principles of confidentiality and security.

Factions like Prometheus, the Evil Science Alliance, and GS Biotech possessed technology so advanced they could extract genes and clone replicas from merely a single hair, a flake of skin, or a drop of dried blood.

Not to mention those bizarre and unfathomable evil arts.

If one carelessly dropped a hair, it could truly be picked up by someone and used to cast a long-range curse via the Seven Arrows Book for Nailing Heads or some other witchcraft or gu poison technique.

Based on these concerns, when Li Cheng renovated his house, he designed multiple layers of insurance.

He reinstalled the sewage system; equipped the central air conditioning with a fresh air system, installing several filters in the fresh air exhaust ducts; programmed the robot vacuum to clean the room twice daily, morning and evening; and insisted on buying groceries and cooking himself to avoid takeout boxes contaminated with DNA being recycled.

In terms of caution alone, he ranked within the top 1% of all players.

Those players even more cautious than him were doomsday preppers, firmly believing the end of the world was imminent, choosing to live in underground bunkers capable of withstanding nuclear blasts, eating canned food, and drinking bottled mineral water.

As the host, Li Cheng washed and prepared the hot pot ingredients in the study, chatting casually with his friends and enjoying this rare leisure time.

Until—

"May I borrow the restroom?" Shao Wangshu asked politely.

"Sure." Li Cheng pointed casually, but just as he was about to turn around, he suddenly thought of something, and his expression changed slightly.

Crap, the toilet seat!

As a liquid metal robot, Gray Rain's physiological structure was quite miraculous; she could restore her stamina by touching an electrical switch and had no need to eat or drink.

But she would never give up the sheer pleasure of eating and drinking.

Since her taste system functioned normally, she had crafted a full set of metallic digestive organs for herself, daily devouring calorie bombs like hamburgers, cola, fried chicken, cheese pizza, bread, and high-oil, high-salt dishes.

She mashed all the food into a paste within her metallic stomach and then excreted it.

In her words, "During the ten-plus minutes spent squatting on the toilet, I can play on my phone while pondering philosophical questions about life, the universe, and where I came from and where I'm going; it's truly beneficial for body and mind."

What could Li Cheng do? He had no choice but to reinforce the toilet in his home with ultra-hard, high-strength ceramic so it could withstand the eight hundred-plus kilograms of Gray Rain's petite frame.

Additionally, he had placed a pink toilet seat cover on it.

Normally, a single man living alone wouldn't have such a thing in his home.

"Wait!"

Li Cheng took a quick step forward, blocking Shao Wangshu who was about to enter the restroom, and said with a stiff expression, "This restroom cannot be used."

"Eh?" Shao Wangshu didn't react immediately. "Why?"

Hahaha, I just took a massive dump.

This reason flashed through Li Cheng's mind and was quickly discarded.

If you took a massive dump, why didn't you flush? If it won't flush, why haven't you fixed it?

Li Cheng's mouth twitched slightly; thinking quickly on his feet, he concocted another excuse: "This restroom is still under renovation."

"Huh?" Mu Yulu, who was putting the hot pot base into the pot, squinted and asked, "How can a restroom still be under renovation?"

With an unchanged expression, Li Cheng said, "I hate it most when people shit on my head, so I'm planning to change the toilet's location."

"Because every floor of the apartment building has the same layout, as long as you're not on the top floor, it's equivalent to having someone shitting above your head, right?"

Mu Yulu sighed and mocked, "What an Arrogant Dragon."

"'Young lad's spirit fierce as a wolf, hot blood slapping against the chest, classic quotes borne on shoulders, don't act so wildly before me. I am arrogant, so what can you do?'"

Li Cheng spouted nonsense casually, finally muddling through that moment; while Shao Wangshu went to the restroom next to the study, he quietly locked the bedroom door.

Gray Rain was just a little girl weighing over eight hundred kilograms; the bed she usually slept on and the chairs she sat on were all reinforced with alloy to prevent them from collapsing under pressure.

Gulp gulp.

Steam rose from the hot pot as Han Letian, holding a bowl, asked, "Ah Cheng, where do you keep the oyster sauce? I want to make some dipping sauce."

"In the cabinet below the microwave; look for it."

Just as Li Cheng finished speaking, Han Letian opened the cabinet, and with a 'pa' sound, an e-cigarette fell out from inside, spinning in his bowl.

"Uh..."

Han Letian mused aloud, "Old Cheng, I recall the law states minors aren't allowed to buy e-cigarettes, right?"

Li Cheng pretended to be calm: "This isn't for smoking; it's a tool I use to practice pen spinning."

Clatter clatter!

More e-cigarettes fell out of the cabinet, varying in style and flavor.

Xiangyin Caiyun — Gentle Cucumber Flavor

Hongyun Gungun — Red Date Flavor

Lüshan Yingying — Mung Bean Flavor

Zhuzhang Shengma — Herbal Aged Fragrance

Undoubtedly, these were all little snacks Gray Rain had secretly hidden away.

Seeing this situation, Li Cheng remained expressionless and calmly explained, "I don't smoke e-cigarettes; I simply love spinning pens."

"'Big pipe stuffed in the mouth, I only smoke the fifth generation~ No matter how much I smoke, it won't break, no lighter needed, truly delightful~ Beyond, hurry and taste, my lungs are itching now~'"

An abstract ringtone sounded from beneath the coffee table; evidently, when Gray Rain entered the electronic pet egg, she hadn't brought her mobile phone with her.

Han Letian: (. )

Mu Yulu: (_ゝ)

Shao Wangshu: (|||Д)

Li Cheng silently took the e-cigarette from Han Letian's bowl, walked to the coffee table, picked up Huiyu's phone, saw the caller ID showed an insurance company spam call, and said, "Hello, thank you, I don't need insurance."

He hung up—so long as he wasn't embarrassed, the embarrassment belonged to someone else.

Seeing Li Cheng acting so perfectly normal, Han Letian and the others didn't dare say a word or ask a thing, and only when they finished the hotpot, watched the movie, and were about to part ways did they offer a few reminders, telling Li Cheng to take care of his health and smoke less.

Shao Wangshu even handed over a business card for a psychological counseling institution, tactfully suggesting that if Li Cheng's study pressure was too much, he might consider consulting a doctor.

*Pa. *

The room door closed, and Li Cheng silently took out the electronic pet egg and pressed the button.

Huiyu leapt out from the void, saying breezily, "Finally out! What did you guys eat? Ah-Sheng, you have to make it up to me properly."

Her voice trailed off as Huiyu's peripheral vision caught the e-cigarettes neatly stacked in boxes on the living room table. She slapped her forehead and said, "Almost forgot—today's homework still isn't done. Hehe, look at this homework, now *that* is what I call homework."

(End of chapter)