Chapter 419: The Large Intestine

Li Cheng rubbed his palms together. "There are three plans. One high-risk, two low-risk. Which one do you want to hear?"

"Uh—"

Hearing his solemn, earnest tone, then seeing the half-smirk at the corner of his mouth, Binary Tree vaguely felt something was off. "Tell us the high-risk plan first."

"Sure."

Li Cheng pulled a blackboard out of his inventory and, in no time, sketched the tunnel's structure and the skeletal outline of Flesh Mountain on it.

"Flesh Mountain's current posture is blocking the tunnel in a slightly tilted, curled-up lying position. The area beneath the thigh bones here is pure flesh with no bone. We could use brute force to carve through this chunk of meat—"

He drew a diagram on the blackboard with chalk. "As long as we're fast enough, theoretically we can force our way through before Flesh Mountain heals and reach the other end of the tunnel."

"This—"

Red Spider looked doubtful. "Can't we just use a spatial teleport skill and skip over it?"

"No."

Binary Tree shook his head. "Flesh Mountain's body itself carries a mysterious quality that blocks spatial abilities. Including phasing the body out and passing straight through—that won't work either."

To prove his point, he digitized his arm and gently pressed it against Flesh Mountain's skin.

Theoretically armless, his limb still made contact with the thick hide.

"We just saw it too—Flesh Mountain's healing speed is faster than drinking a mid-grade health potion. If we can't get through, we'll get squeezed in. And there's the risk of Flesh Mountain attacking us."

Blood Xue Shi Paoxiao tapped his fingers lightly on the steering wheel and asked Li Cheng, "What's the other low-risk plan?"

"I'm sure you've all read Journey to the West, the romantic, chapter-by-chapter long novel of gods and demons written by Wu Cheng'en of the Ming dynasty, right? When facing demons he couldn't handle, the protagonist Sun Wukong would often let himself be swallowed on purpose to break the deadlock."

Li Cheng pulled three full-body swimsuits out of his inventory. "Polyester swimsuits, coated on the outside with PTFE coating—acid-proof, alkali-proof, resistant to all organic solvents. Also equipped with breathing masks and oxygen tanks."

"Huh?"

All three of Red Spider's party froze on the spot, unable to process what they'd just heard.

"Pretend to be eaten, then pass through Flesh Mountain's entire body and crawl out the back door."

Seeing these three lv28s and lv27s so clueless, Li Cheng pursed his lips and patiently explained: "Flesh Mountain still retains a human skeletal structure, so its internal organs should be roughly the same.

I estimate that even the narrowest part of the human body, the small intestine, you should be able to squeeze through if you really try.

You'd arrive right at the other side of the tunnel."

Li Cheng held out the swimsuits, but Red Spider's three had no intention of taking them, their faces wearing that egg-pain, anus-tight expression.

"What, you're afraid you can't squeeze through the final steel gate? Don't worry, I've thought of that too. Here's baby powder and three bottles of glycerin enema."

Li Cheng laughed brightly and placed the three 20 ml bottles of glycerin enema on top of the swimsuits, the packaging on the front clearly labeled "For Adult Use Only."

"Great plan my ass."

Blood Xue Shi Paoxiao felt a dull throb in his brain. "Such a tiny bottle of enema is useless—no, wait, it's not about whether the enema works or not—"

"It's about why the hell we'd willingly let ourselves be eaten."

"The total length of the human intestinal tract is about 8.5 meters. Considering Flesh Mountain's magnification factor, its intestines could be 80 to 100 meters long, or even longer."

Binary Tree's face turned faintly green. "We'd have to squirm and crawl that far through stomach and intestinal contents…"

"Ugh, stop, just stop, ugh."

Red Spider merely imagined the scene and felt his stomach churn. In his mind, The Shawshank Redemption and those cave-exploration videos online instantly resurfaced.

If we force our way through, fine. But if we fail and get stuck, trapped inside Flesh Mountain's intestines…

Then damn, we'd be better off putting a bullet in our own heads right now—at least that way we'd die without choking on the injustice.

Red Spider's face was full of misery. "And why are there only three swimsuits? Where's yours?" "Right now it's your player essence that's been taken, not mine. I can return to the real world any time."

Li Cheng said with perfect righteousness: "As players, are you really going to let a little predicament involving pee and poop scare you off?

You know India has 4 million lower-caste sewer cleaners. They don't have masks, oxygen tanks, strong lights, not even gloves. They jump into septic tanks and sewers and unclog blockages with their bare hands.

Daily income is only $2.5 to $4.6, and 300 of them drown every year.

There's a famous saying in the player world: don't betray the heart of youth, don't forget the road you came from. If Indians can do it, so can you.

If it really comes to it, I can tie a rope to your backs. If you can't squeeze through, I'll pull you back out. The risk is very low."

Damn, it's easy for you to talk standing there with no pain in your back!!!

All three players put on their agony masks.

Blood Xue Shi Paoxiao's face twisted. His heart waged an inner war for several rounds. His palm trembling slightly, he grabbed the polyester swimsuit. "Fuck it. Goddamn it. Let's do this."

Those transcendent ones who can climb to lv40—which of them isn't ruthless to their enemies and even more ruthless to themselves? They trample over mountains of corpses to ascend to the supreme throne.

Only those with iron will, who stop at nothing, who are even willing to kill their past selves, have the right to reach the top in this death spiral.

He, Blood Xue Shi Paoxiao, went from being an ordinary heavy-truck driver whose life was over before it began, to now the vice-guildmaster of the 【Mecha Thunder】 guild, treated as an honored guest wherever he goes in any country.

This isn't because his personal ability truly surpasses that of several hundred thousand fellow truck drivers and several billion fellow Earthlings—

It's the combined effect of personal struggle, the tide of history, and the favor of fate.

All he can do is—live up to fate.

"…"

Red Spider and Binary Tree exchanged a glance, silently took the swimsuits, retracted their six extra arms, and, with the help of the baby powder, put the swimsuits on.

"Good luck. I'm rooting for you."

Li Cheng gave a thumbs-up. Beside him, Gray Rain suddenly thought of something and raised a hand. "Didn't you say there were three plans?

One high-risk, two low-risk.

What's the last one?"

"Oh, that one."

Li Cheng said casually: "This place happens to be a French restaurant kitchen, with all the ingredients and cookware. In a scripted mission, this would be a glaring hint.

Suggesting we might be able to build a bomb, disguise it as food, and let Flesh Mountain eat it.

An internal blast would be far more powerful than an external one. Flesh Mountain's defense is no worse than a lv30 melee player's, but its insides might not be."

You son of a bitch.

The three Red Spiders, still struggling into their swimsuits, all froze in place, their expressions each more strained than the last,

especially Blood Xue Shi Paoxiao,

this fellow had already finished putting on his swimsuit, and with the resolve of a martyr, had climbed atop the Meat Mountain's head, ready to leap into the abyss of a maw below.

The Red Spider whose floral boxer briefs were showing outside gnawed at his lip. "Um… so, Brother Pi Fu, next time you have some plan, could you finish saying it first?"

"That's because you lot didn't ask."

Li Cheng spread his hands. "So, your choice is—"

"Toss down some bombs first and see."

Binary Tree had no habit of swimming in a sea of dung, so he decisively stripped off his swimsuit and bolted for the kitchen.

The other two ran just as fast, pulling out every kind of fruit and meat from the cabinets and fridge, terrified Li Cheng might come up with yet another novel idea.

(End of chapter)