Chapter 565

The vending machine's tone was definitive; to better snag deals and exploit loopholes, Li Cheng had spent money to customize an encyclopedia-level artifact authentication program for its AI, thoroughly versed in global historical timelines, with identification capabilities covering jade, ceramics, bronzes, calligraphy and paintings, historical documents, modern and contemporary artifacts, and even props from all manner of fictional works.

Yes, give this vending machine two children's backpacks, and it can genuinely tell which one came from "Dora the Explorer" and which from "Tu Tu."

For an extra layer of security, Li Cheng previously spent 30,000 Special Points to upgrade the toy factory's 【Crushing Chamber】 from Level 1 to Level 2, unlocking the portable grinder and spectrometer linked to it; these two devices can remotely connect to the Crushing Chamber and the Refinement Room, analyzing spectral data from dozens of micrograms of powdered fragments to roughly estimate an artifact's historical value.

The historical value of the contents in the formalin jar was only 11 Special Points—equivalent to the inherent value of Heistain, a Level 20 player. Not a single point more.

"Impossible—I injected myself with a full vial of 【Bitter Wind Tincture】, and I scanned the fetus with a CT machine. There's no way I made a mistake."

Heistain screamed hoarsely; his internal rating at European Heavy Industry was B—, granting him minimal resource support.

To cope with ever-increasing mission difficulty and defy fate, he and his teammates gambled on stocks, foreign exchange, lotteries, scratch cards, cryptocurrencies, precious metals, labubu,

sneakers, CS skins… nothing was left untouched.

For this mission, he staked nearly his entire fortune, even injecting himself with 【Bitter Wind Tincture】—a concept-level magic potion sourced from a battlefield loot box, automatically bound to the user upon acquisition; it functions like the Mother River of the Daughters' Kingdom in "Journey to the West," bypassing reproductive barriers to conceive a fetus.

As for side effects… Heistain now urinates fire.

"Captain, calm down first."

Behind Heistain, a red-haired woman dressed as a witch gripped his shoulder, stepped forward, and said firmly: "Zhu Xing Zhen Tai is a vast organization, and its boss, Master Pi Fu, is a peerless hero—he wouldn't deliberately betray us."

This strategist clearly thought deeper: Master Pi Fu, boss of Zhu Xing Zhen Tai, was a born killer, leveraging his conjugated father-son bond with the Side of Truth to elbow London and slap the bell tower, yet still walked away unscathed afterward.

For an ordinary player like Heistain, to put it bluntly, if Pi Fu killed them, the European Heavy Industry Guild wouldn't even avenge them—it's better to make this public.

"Uh…"

Zhao Zijing hesitated; they still needed to record another promotional video. "You're kind of busy—why don't we leave for now? Come back when you're free…"

"No need. It'll be resolved soon."

Li Cheng shook his head casually and walked toward the vending machine.

Seeing him approach, Heistain and his seven or eight teammates all tensed up nervously; the onlookers, eager for drama, gathered in increasing numbers.

Li Cheng first picked up the formalin jar; inside floated two testicles, shriveled and wrinkled like raisins—just like a bodybuilder's—

Bodybuilders who use steroids long-term suppress their own testosterone secretion, causing testicles to atrophy from reduced workload.

This was likely a normal side effect of 【Bitter Wind Tincture】.

Li Cheng set down the formalin jar, then picked up the USB drive Heistain had just slammed on the table, opening it via the counter's computer.

The USB drive's folder was packed with over a hundred video clips, recording the entire mission process via action cameras.

Thumbnail images in some videos revealed the "world-class" appearances of those so-called lizard people, ghouls, and fish-people princesses.

Aside from the Indian player silently liking it, the onlookers' expressions were priceless.

This ghoul princess had no hair, her skin ulcerated, with strands of meat stuck between her teeth;

The fish-people princess had eyes so far apart, you'd need to take a taxi to get from one to the other;

The minotaur princess had twelve-pack abs, biceps measuring eighty centimeters, capable of crushing a man alive;

Someone whispered, "If only he hadn't been so greedy—someone as ruthless as Heistain could've gotten rich doing anything. Bad investments kill."

Click.

Li Cheng's mouse paused on a thumbnail of a harpy princess.

Though not tall, her proportions were perfect, her features exquisitely alluring.

With wings sprouting from her back and bird talons for legs, the white feathers covering her chest, abdomen, and thighs avoided the uncanny valley entirely, perfectly accentuating her curvaceous figure.

Even on the roughest streets, she could compete with Goblin Sisters of the Evil Alliance and, against the backdrop of those grotesque princesses, she shone with unmatched elegance.

As expected, this harpy princess appeared repeatedly in later videos, likely serving as Heistain's assistant—helping promote the religion while restoring his rapidly draining SAN value.

"This is 【Ocupperte】, my lover."

Heistain hurriedly said: "She's different from the other princesses—she's always stayed by my side. If she hadn't needed to remain in the script world to inherit the kingdom, I'd have brought her out."

Li Cheng clicked open the video; it showed Heistain and Ocupperte's tender daily life—flying together through the skies, strolling through forests, feeding each other fruit, nuzzling intimately.

In that dark, hopeless fantasy world, the warmth with harpy princess Ocupperte was Heistain's greatest psychological anchor.

"What a tragic pair of mandarin ducks."

Li Cheng looked at the information read by his 【Information Synthesis Glasses】, frowned, and muttered: "Aren't tragic mandarin ducks no longer referring to Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu? This harpy princess looks pretty good to me."

"Look closer."

Li Cheng adjusted his glasses and pointed at the screen: "Ocupperte's chest and abdomen feathers are white. Her back, buttocks, and thighs are covered in brown feathers with black spots."

In other words, Ocupperte is indeed a harpy species—but specifically, she belongs to the real-world species Philomachus pugna.

"P-what-X-what? Never heard of it."

Gray Rain's confusion echoed the onlookers', "Plover."

Li Cheng spread his hands: "Order Charadriiformes, family Scolopacidae, genus Philomachus. Widely distributed across Asia, Africa, North America, Europe, and Australia."

"Named for the luxurious feather plumes on males during breeding season."

Gray Rain asked, "So what's special about that?"

"The breeding season for Philomachus pugna is every May–June, when males gather on open grasslands, displaying feathers to attract females."

Li Cheng explained: "Male Philomachus pugna have three types: territorial males, satellite males, and sneaker males."

Territorial males are the strongest, with the darkest feathers; they claim one-square-meter territories and fiercely fight any intruding males.

Satellite males have paler feathers and slightly smaller bodies; they have no territory of their own but linger near territorial males, seeking chances to sneak copulations with the latter's females—even if caught, they only get beaten up.

Sneaker males, however, mimic female plumage and body size entirely, pretending to be females to mate with territorial males, staying within the territory to find opportunities to breed with actual females."

"Wait, hold on—"

Gray Rain's expression grew increasingly uneasy; the onlookers were equally baffled.

Li Cheng pressed on: "Territorial males are fully aware of the sneaker males' true gender, yet still mate with them—because same-sex behavior attracts more females."

And for some reason, the more cross-dressers in a territorial male's domain, the more females he draws in."

Snap!

That red-haired witch suddenly pulled out a rag soaked in some unknown liquid and slapped it hard over Hestain's mouth and nose.

The teammate relationship allowed the anesthetic gas in the rag to take effect on Hestain, cleanly knocking him out cold.

"The 【Oucoupote】 in the video isn't a harpy princess, but a prince. As a male tassel-snipe fede-male, he displayed female characteristics and successfully seduced Hestain.

When the latter downed bottle after bottle of hard liquor, and while drunk slept with princesses of every race until he passed out, Oucoupote would quietly appear, suck a little 【Sorrow Wind Potion】 out of Hestain's body, and replace it with his own seed.

That's exactly why all the fetuses Hestain finally saw in the CT scan showed the characteristic of wings on their backs — they were all Oucoupote's offspring."

Li Cheng looked at Hestain, whose eyes had rolled back into his head, with a sympathetic gaze and sighed, "In the real world, tassel-snipe fede-males, because their mating opportunities are far fewer than those of territory-males, in order to leave behind as many offspring as possible, have testicles that are 2.5 times the size of a territory-male's.

In a certain sense, you could call it an extraordinary innate gift.

"Th-this, wh-whoa—"

Grey Rain gaped, staring at the Oucoupote on the computer screen who turned her head with a smile that outshone all the beauties of the six palaces, completely unable to imagine the actual scene, "What a pair of star-crossed lovers!"

"Very sorry for disrupting the normal business of Zhu Xing Zhen Tai, please accept our apologies."

The red-haired witch signaled her teammate to sling Hestain over his shoulder, politely apologized to Li Cheng, and then scurried off in disgrace.

Hmm... considering that Hestain's "descendants" also have wings on their backs just like him, they might actually be able to keep running that religious scam they left behind in the script world...

In any case, as Hestain and the others fled, the crowd of onlookers gradually dispersed too. That Indian player kept slapping his thigh as he walked, apparently regretting not having seen the lizardfolk princess scene.

"... The world is vast and full of wonders."

Having watched such an absurd farce, Zhao Zijing remarked sincerely. Even though as a dual senior agent for both the Special Affairs Bureau and the GOC, she had seen plenty of grand scenes traveling all over, she could still be shocked by strange events.

"Killing Fields spawns all kinds of monsters, you'll get used to it. To ward off evil and protect the house, I've got a whole stack of photos of the great man Yao Ming stored behind this counter. If you want some, I can give you a few."

Li Cheng said calmly, his brow unconsciously twitching upward.

"Honored Factory Owner,"

The toy factory's intelligent core sent him a remote communication via a Den Den Mushi prop, "There's a bit of a situation over here, we may need you to come handle it personally.

A group of players is approaching, looks like they're on a mission."