Chapter 585: Mandarin Ducks

The vending machine’s tone was unequivocal; to better snag deals and exploit loopholes, Li Cheng had spent money to customize an encyclopedia-level artifact authentication program for its AI, thoroughly versed in global historical knowledge, capable of appraising jade, ceramics, bronzes, calligraphy and paintings, historical documents, modern and contemporary artifacts, and even items and props from various works of fiction.

Indeed, give this vending machine two children’s backpacks, and it can accurately identify which one comes from “Dora the Explorer” and which from “Tu Tu.”

For added insurance, Li Cheng previously spent 30,000 Special Points to upgrade the Toy Factory’s [Crusher Room] from Level 1 to Level 2, unlocking the portable grinder and spectrometer linked to it—both devices can remotely connect to the Crusher Room and the Refinement Room, analyzing spectral data from dozens of micrograms of powdered artifact fragments to roughly estimate the historical value embedded within.

The historical value of the contents inside the formalin jar was only 11 Special Points—equivalent to the inherent value of Heistain, a Level 20 player. Not a single point more.

“Impossible—I injected myself with a full vial of [Bitter Wind Elixir], and I scanned the fetus with a CT machine. There’s no way I made a mistake.”

Heistain screamed hoarsely; his internal rating within European Heavy Industry was B—, granting him minimal resource support.

To cope with ever-rising mission difficulty and defy fate, he and his teammates gambled on stocks, foreign exchange rates, lotteries, scratch cards, cryptocurrencies, precious metals, labubu,

sneakers, CS skins… nothing was left untried.

For this mission, he staked nearly his entire fortune, even injecting himself with the [Bitter Wind Elixir]—a concept-level potion sourced from Kill Field chests, automatically bound to the user upon acquisition, equivalent in nature to the Mother-Child River water from “Journey to the West’s” Daughter Kingdom, capable of bypassing reproductive isolation to conceive a fetus.

As for side effects… Heistain now urinates fire.

“Captain, calm down first.”

Behind Heistain, a red-haired woman dressed as a witch gripped his shoulder, stepped forward, and said firmly: “The Starforge Anvil is a vast enterprise, and its boss, Piyi, is a peerless hero—he wouldn’t deliberately deceive us.”

This strategist thought more deeply: Piyi, boss of the Starforge Anvil, was born a killer, leveraging his bonded father-son relationship with the Side of Truth to elbow London, slap the Bell Tower, yet still walked away unscathed.

Players like Heistain, bluntly put, mean nothing to Piyi—if he killed them, European Heavy Industry wouldn’t even avenge them. Better to make this public.

“Uh…”

Zhao Zijing hesitated; they still needed to record another promotional video. “You’re a bit busy—why don’t we leave for now? Come back when you’re free…”

“No need. It’ll be resolved soon.”

Li Cheng shook his head casually and walked toward the vending machine.

Seeing him approach, Heistain and his seven or eight teammates all tensed up nervously; the onlookers, eager for spectacle, gathered thicker and thicker.

Li Cheng first picked up the formalin jar—the two testicles floating inside were shriveled and wrinkled like raisins, just like a bodybuilder’s—

Bodybuilders who use steroids long-term suppress their own testosterone secretion, causing their testicles to atrophy from reduced workload.

This was likely a normal side effect of the [Bitter Wind Elixir].

Li Cheng set down the formalin jar, then picked up the USB drive Heistain had just slammed on the counter, opening it via the counter’s computer.

The USB drive’s folder was packed with over a hundred video clips—recorded by the team’s action cameras, documenting their entire mission.

Thumbnail images in some videos revealed the “legendary” appearances of the so-called lizard people, ghouls, and fish princesses.

Aside from the Indian player secretly nodding in approval, the onlookers’ expressions were priceless.

This ghoul princess had no hair, her skin was ulcerated, and strands of meat clung to her teeth;

The fish princess’s eyes were so far apart, you’d need to take a taxi to get from one to the other;

The bull-headed princess had twelve-pack abs, biceps eighty centimeters thick, capable of crushing a man alive;

Someone whispered: “If only he hadn’t been so greedy—someone as ruthless as Heistain could’ve gotten rich doing anything. Reckless investing kills.”

Click.

Li Cheng paused his mouse over a thumbnail of a harpy princess.

Though not tall, her proportions were perfect, her features exquisite and alluring.

Wings sprouted from her back, her legs ended in bird talons, and the white feathers covering her chest, abdomen, and thighs avoided the uncanny valley entirely—perfectly accentuating her hourglass figure.

Even on the slums’ streets, competing against Goblin Sisters of the Evil Alliance, she wouldn’t lose; with those grotesque princesses as contrast, she shone with peerless elegance.

As expected, this harpy princess appeared repeatedly in later videos—likely serving as Heistain’s assistant, helping promote his religion while also restoring his rapidly draining SAN value.

“This is [Ocupperte], my lover.”

Heistain hurriedly said: “She’s different from the other princesses—she’s always stayed by my side. If she hadn’t needed to remain in the script world to inherit the kingdom, I’d have brought her out.”

Li Cheng clicked open the video—it showed Heistain and Ocupperte’s tender daily life: soaring through skies, strolling through forests, feeding each other fruit, nuzzling intimately.

In that dark, hopeless fantasy world, the warmth with the harpy princess Ocupperte was Heistain’s greatest psychological anchor.

“What a tragic pair of mandarin ducks.”

Li Cheng looked at the information read by his [Information Synthesis Glasses], grimaced, and Huiyu muttered: “Aren’t tragic mandarin ducks no longer referring to Dong Zhuo and Lü Bu? This harpy princess looks pretty fine to me.”

“Look closer.”

Li Cheng adjusted his glasses and pointed at the screen: “Ocupperte’s chest and abdomen feathers are white. Her back, buttocks, and thighs are patterned with brown bases and black spots.”

In other words, Ocupperte is indeed a harpy, but specifically, she belongs to the real-world species Philomachus pugnax.”

“P-what-X-what? Never heard of it.”

Huiyu’s confusion echoed the onlookers’ bewilderment. “Ruff.”

Li Cheng spread his hands: “Order Charadriiformes, family Scolopacidae, genus Philomachus. Widely distributed across Asia, Africa, North America, Europe, and Australia.

Named for the luxurious feather collar males grow during breeding season.”

Huiyu asked, baffled: “What’s special about that?”

“The ruff’s breeding season is May to June. During this time, male ruffs gather on open grasslands, displaying their feathers to attract females.”

Li Cheng explained: “Male ruffs have three types: territorial males, satellite males, and faeder males.

Territorial males are the strongest, with the blackest feathers; they claim one-square-meter territories and fiercely fight any intruding males.

Satellite males have paler feathers, slightly smaller builds, no territory of their own, but linger near territorial males’ domains, waiting to sneak copulations with the territorial males’ females—caught? They just get beaten up.

Faeder males, however, mimic females in both plumage and body shape, fully disguise themselves as females, willingly mate with territorial males to remain within the territory, seeking opportunities to breed with actual females.”

“Wait, hold on—”

Huiyu’s expression grew increasingly uneasy; the onlookers looked equally confused.

Li Cheng pressed on: “Territorial males are fully aware faeders are male, yet still mate with them—because same-sex behavior attracts more females.

And for some reason, the more transvestites in a territorial male’s domain, the more females he draws.”

Thwack!

The red-haired witch suddenly pulled out a cloth soaked in unknown liquid and slammed it over Heistain’s nose and mouth.

Due to their team bond, the anesthetic gas in the cloth affected Heistain, knocking him out cleanly.

“The [Ocupperte] in the video isn’t a harpy princess—she’s a prince. As a male ruff faeder, he displayed female traits and successfully seduced Heistain.

After Heistain drank bottle after bottle of liquor, passed out drunk after bedding every princess, Ocupperte would quietly appear, suck out some [Bitter Wind Elixir] from Heistain’s body, and replace it with his own seed.

That’s why every fetus Heistain saw on the CT scan had wings—those were all Ocupperte’s offspring.”

Li Cheng looked at Heistain, eyes rolled back, with pity: “In the real world, male ruff faeders have fewer mating opportunities than territorial males. To maximize offspring, faeders’ testicles are 2.5 times larger than territorial males’.

In a way, it’s a kind of innate talent.”

“This… he… wow—”

Huiyu stared, dumbfounded, at the screen where Ocupperte turned back with a smile that could bewitch a thousand beauties—he couldn’t even imagine the scene. “What a tragic pair of mandarin ducks!”

“We sincerely apologize for disrupting the Starforge Anvil’s normal operations. Please forgive us.”

The red-haired witch signaled her teammates to shoulder Heistain, bowed politely to Li Cheng, then slipped away in haste.

Hmm… considering Heistain’s “offspring” also have winged backs like him, perhaps they could even continue maintaining his religious scam in the script world…

Anyway, as Heistain and his team fled, the crowd gradually dispersed; the Indian player walked away slapping his thigh repeatedly, clearly regretting missing the lizard princess footage.

“...The world is vast, full of wonders.”

Zhao Zijing sighed sincerely after witnessing this absurd farce—even as a senior agent of both the Special Affairs Bureau and GOC, having seen countless extraordinary events, she was still stunned.

“Kill Fields produce monsters and demons—get used to it. To ward off evil and protect my home, I keep a thick stack of Yao Ming’s high-person photos right here. If you want, I’ll give you a few.”

Li Cheng said calmly, his eyebrows twitching slightly.

“Respected Factory Master,”

The Toy Factory’s intelligent core sent him a remote communication via the Phone Bug device: “Something’s happened here—you may need to come personally.

A group of players is approaching—they appear to be on a mission.”