Chapter 36: Towards the Absurd Trap

Chen Wuji ultimately still extended his sinful hand.

Now that his concubine is like this, if he doesn't give her a good rub today, Shen Youwei will surely think he despises her because of those gruesome scars.

Taking a cheap advantage is no big deal, but hurting the heart of this aloof young girl would be bad.

After he took a harsh advantage, Chen Wuji finally turned his attention to the real matter.

Shen Youwei hadn't prepared any tool, so she directly smeared the soil onto the wall with her bare hands.

How can that work?

Chen Wuji ran to the Miscellaneous Storage Room outside, paced around, and found two relatively flat planks. After drilling a hole in one, he nailed a short log with a wooden wedge to make a mud‑spreading board, and he shaved a handle on the other plank to use as a support board.

With tools in hand, efficiency instantly doubled.

Shen Youwei stepped on the mud with her foot, mixing it more evenly with straw, while Chen Wuji simply buried his head and kept smearing it onto the wall.

In the not‑large room, by the time Huo Sanniang's lunch was ready, their big project was also nearing its finish.

"How did you finish so quickly?" Huo Sanniang came in, glanced around, and was amazed by the efficiency.

Shen Youwei smiled, "My husband made a mud‑spreading board, and it sped things up a lot."

"Wu­ji, you even know this?" Huo Sanniang was even more surprised.

Chen Wuji haughtily raised his eyebrows, "Madam, I know a great many things."

Huo Sanniang's eyes held a watery tenderness, and she smiled an auntie‑like grin, "Wu­ji, even you can make these things now; it shows your illness is nearly cured. After two years, you finally show a promising sign."

That was exactly the effect Chen Wuji wanted.

He stubbornly said, "Madam, what illness could I have? I'm fine."

"Yes, Wuji, you're very well," Huo Sanniang replied with a gentle smile.

"Quickly wash your hands and eat; this little task will be done this afternoon when Youwei and I finish it casually."

"Alright."

Lunch was the roasted forest frog and snake soup that had been arranged last night.

The golden Millet paired with diced Snake Meat tasted surprisingly good.

As for the forest frog, that needs no explanation.

Even without any seasoning, it was extremely fresh.

After a meal that left his belly round, he took a short afternoon nap to let the food digest, then Chen Wuji packed his belongings and prepared to head into the mountains.

Having been tricked by that Lao Bangzi inside, the household now has not even a copper coin's surplus.

His gentle and beautiful wife and concubine are lovely, yet Chen Wuji doesn't even have money to buy a pretty dress; such is the sorrow of youth, requiring even more effort.

Under the scorching afternoon sun, Chen Wuji slung a rope, carried a bow and arrow, and held a Knife in his hand as he plunged into the vast, sun‑obscured forest mountains.

He first went to inspect the traps he had previously set.

Today's luck was excellent; the first trap burst a juvenile wild boar for Chen Wuji.

The little creature was probably runaway, its temperament so fierce that it didn't notice the trap and barreled straight in.

Although a small boar, it weighed about twenty jin.

At the market rate of five wen per jin, this tiny one could fetch at least fifty wen for its organs.

A sure opening success!

Chen Wuji reset the trap, carried the small boar to the second trap, his excitement still fresh, and from afar he saw the second trap also burst.

Chen Wuji hurriedly quickened his pace, but when he arrived, he was stunned.

Inside the trap was a monkey.

If I recall correctly, this creature should be herbivorous, right?

How did it manage to crawl into his trap?

Could it have seen meat on the ground and wanted to taste what meat feels like?

Chen Wuji opened the trap, but seeing the already dead‑yet‑undead monkey, he hesitated for a moment; he knew monkey brain is one of the most brutal dishes in history, yet he had no idea whether monkey meat was edible.

Even if it were edible, bringing it home, Huo Sanniang and the others probably wouldn't dare to eat it.

After some inner conflict, Chen Wuji decided to take it and try his luck at the market.

The world has a thousand faces; perhaps someone with a picky palate would like this thing.

The third trap wasn't empty either; it delivered a small Jackrabbit to Chen Wuji.

Just right to use as bait on the trap.

The fourth and fifth were destroyed; even the stone slabs had been dragged away by some animal, unknown which.

Just when Chen Wuji thought his luck had run out for the day, the sixth trap burst.

And it burst in a rather absurd way.

Vines somehow ensnared a live peacock, though its legs were about to be broken.

"This is absurd as hell, absurd to the point of opening the door, absurd to the core. May I ask how you managed to crawl into my trap? Do you also want to try some meat?" Chen Wuji said kindly while pinching the peacock's neck.

His trap is truly getting farther and farther on the road of absurdity.

The peacock, frightened, flapped its wings desperately.

Chen Wuji let it thrash, diving into the prey inside his trap; even if he were to raise it at home, it would never return to the mountain's embrace.

This little thing, if it meets the right buyer, might fetch a high price.

When the peacock finally grew tired of thrashing, Chen Wuji tied it with a rope, used a wooden stick to brace its injured claw, then carried it to the next trap.

This trap also burst.

But the burst still had a hint of absurdity.

Looking at the desperate, innocent big eyes inside the trap, Chen Wuji felt both angry and amused.

This is not hunting at all; it's basically a quest to open a zoo.

The blind box that sprang from this trap was a female hedgehog.

As for how Chen Wuji knew it was female, just seeing the few little hedgehogs circling around, around made it clear—little hedgehogs would certainly not stick a male hedgehog like this.

What truly surprised Chen Wuji was that, even though lifting that stone slab was somewhat difficult for him, pressing it down didn't crush this hedgehog to death.

"Come on, I'm reluctantly doing a good deed today and giving you a way out!" Chen Wuji lifted the stone slab and released the female hedgehog.

No need to ask—this thing is absolutely not edible.

Even if taken to the market, surely no one with spare money would buy this mother and her five offspring.

The female hedgehog gained its freedom, without even a word of thanks, and leisurely walked off with its few little ones.

It wasn't even startled by Chen Wuji's presence, and as it left, its leisurely, confident stride resembled the Village Chief's bearing.

Chen Wuji chuckled, "Some things in this mountain are stupid to death, while others seem to have become spirits."

After tidying up the mess the hedgehog had made of the trap, Chen Wuji set off for the next burrow.

This trap finally gave Chen Wuji another consolation prize.

A wild boar with its hind leg pinned and its snare caught around its snout.

It was still alive.

"Hey, you two couldn't be brothers, could they?" Chen Wuji, while undoing half the trap, suddenly realized this wild boar looked extremely like the dead one on his back, even their builds were almost the same.

Could it be that these two brothers had agreed to run away from home, got lost in the mountains and separated, and then, both having a greedy streak, wanted to try what eating meat feels like, and then all at once dove into his trap?