Chapter 2780: The Online Game Master's

The Living Room light was on, the atmosphere a bit Silence.

Cheng Lang walked to the Sofa and sat down, shifting a bit; this was Jin Chen's usual spot, where he would curl up whenever watching TV, playing games, or simply wanting to be close to him.

Jin Chen merely stopped by the Sofa, glanced, then walked to the single Sofa and sat down.

Cheng Lang straightened his leg, the arm he'd prepared to wrap around the person beside him paused, stiffly withdrew, had nowhere to put it, so he grabbed the Cushion and held it in his arms.

Silence spread between the two.

"Xiao Chen," Cheng Lang broke the silence, trying to pull out a reassuring smile but couldn't really smile, so he lowered his gaze again, staring at the pattern on the Cushion in his arms, and continued, "I don't blame you."

Not blaming him for suddenly revealing his feelings.

"You kissed me…" he continued with difficulty, his ears burning, those words like scalding his lips, spoken haltingly and vaguely, "also…"

"It's also fine, right?" Jin Chen took up his words, his gaze tracing inch by inch over Cheng Lang's tightly furrowed brows, his evasive eyes.

"I thought senior would make an exception for me, but no, I'm not saying I haven't tested the waters, and you aren't the first time you've avoided."

Cheng Lang wanted to retort, to say it wasn't avoidance, to say he just hadn't figured it out yet, but the words reached his lips and he couldn't utter them confidently.

What Jin Chen said was right; after that team-building day, he chose to maintain the status quo, keeping the state where no one had pierced it.

But he saw the disappointment in Jin Chen's eyes, like a tide only they knew, leaving damp salty bitterness, a stifling pain swelling.

Cheng Lang wanted to reach out, to smooth the gloom between his brows.

But his hand halted midway, then drooped to a stop.

He felt guilty in his heart.

What right did he have to comfort, in what capacity— as a brother who could give no response, or as a friend who enjoyed closeness yet could not reciprocate equal feeling?

"But I don't want to make you unhappy," Cheng Lang even pleaded, "we… could still be like before, okay?"

Like before, intimate without reserve, giving and taking, embracing, leaning, everything as before, as long as we don't mention liking, as long as we keep the fig leaf of brotherhood.

"Even if you know I like you?" Jin Chen gave a light laugh, "I don't know whether to say senior is too generous, or too adept at evasion."

He tilted his head slightly, "So, does senior's answer to me still just want to be brothers, to be friends, right?"

Cheng Lang wanted to nod, to say yes, we are the best brothers, the best friends, isn't that fine.

"Can we?" Cheng Lang asked hoarsely.

As long as Jin Chen says yes, everything can return to the starting point, and he won't have to face this anxiety-inducing choice again.

Jin Chen looked at him, for a long time.

So long that Cheng Lang almost thought he would relent, would as countless times before lean back against him and say in a coquettish tone, "Alright, I'll listen to senior."

But he only saw Jin Chen shake his head.

"But senior, we can only be ordinary friends now."

Today was still too pressing.

Sure enough, Hua Yu is still unreliable; we need to find him some trouble, big trouble.

Jin Chen sighed softly in his heart, then lifted his eyes, a smile showing detached gentleness: "How about we try, return to being ordinary friends, what do you think, senior?"

Cheng Lang's head buzzed.

He faintly felt something was off, a voice in his heart weakly protesting, shouting that it shouldn't be like this, don't do this.

But his thoughts were tangled like mess, Jin Chen's proposal sounded reasonable, seemingly… the answer he wanted.

In the midst of chaos and self-destructive impulse, Cheng Lang nodded, "Okay."

Jin Chen stood up, "Good night then, senior."

"The posts on the forum, you don't need to worry, I'll have them deleted, they won't affect you."

The second bedroom door closed, again separating the two spaces.

Cheng Lang sat alone on the Sofa, head lowered blankly, a long while before he seemed to come to, slowly placing the Cushion aside.

But his arms were empty, and his heart felt like a piece had been hollowed out.

A chilly wind blew in from somewhere, making his fingertips feel cold.

What was missing?

He belatedly realized, oh, that's it.

Jin Chen used to, every night before sleep, linger with him for a while.

Sometimes, when sleepy, he'd insist on hugging, burying his face in Cheng Lang's neck to rub; sometimes, as if having some oral urge, he'd insist on hugging him and biting a few times, leaving damp marks.

He had even grown somewhat accustomed to it; occasionally being bitten too hard, covering it up was fine.

But tonight… well, tonight this situation really wasn't appropriate.

Cheng Lang finally stood up, telling himself inwardly: let it be this way, being ordinary friends is fine too.

At least, Xiao Chen was still by his side, not having left because of rejection.

He considered himself to have sorted out the tangled mess, found a path that, while not entirely satisfactory, at least allowed him to keep moving forward.

—

Thus, the days as ordinary friends passed for several days.

Cheng Lang strove to make himself adapt to this new way of interacting.

He as usual worked on his graduation project, hung out in the library, went to the gym.

That afternoon, he returned from the gym, took a shower, and changed into home clothes.

Outside it started raining again; winter rain was cold and wet, he recalled Jin Chen feared the cold, so he deliberately detoured to the supermarket to buy fresh slices of beef and lamb and vegetables, intending to cook a steaming hot pot at night to dispel the chill.

Because of Jin Chen's former habit, Cheng Lang, after showering, didn't change into thick pajamas either, relying on the heating, he wore only a thin cotton home outfit that fastened at the chest, the neckline somewhat low.

He picked up his phone and sent a message to Jin Chen: Xiao Chen, when do you finish class today? It's raining, I bought vegetables, I'll cook hot pot tonight.

After sending the message, he stared at the screen, his heart faintly anticipating.

Hot pot is something they both like; steaming and sitting together should ease the somewhat stiff atmosphere of the past couple days.

Jin Chen's reply was quick; today he went out for a meal with classmates, thank you, senior, no need to wait for me.

Cheng Lang stared at that line of words, dazed.

How could he not know that Jin Chen had classmates close enough to go out for a meal together?

Didn't Jin Chen say he wasn't close with classmates in the class, that he had hardly any friends?

Ah, also. The semester is almost over; someone like Jin Chen, even if a bit cold, will always have someone willing to get close—how could he really have no friends?

An indescribable feeling welled up in his heart.

Cheng Lang could only reply: Okay, then when will you come back?

Jin Chen: Don't worry, senior, I'll be later today.

Cheng Lang took out the hot pot ingredients he had bought one by one, sorted them into the fridge, also lost his appetite, simply cooked a bland fitness meal, and hastily finished it.