Chapter 3088: After Divorce, Forced to Compete with My Ex-Husband for 18

The night grew deep, and the base fell silent.

Jin Chen sat leaning against the head of Chenshu's bed, fully clothed, with Chenshu's coat draped over his shoulders, sketching on the data board the route they had taken today.

He felt unable to focus, staring at the half-finished route map for a while, then set it aside and rubbed his brow.

Chenshu sat on the edge of the bed, leaning slightly to kiss Jin Chen's cheek.

Jin Chen did not dodge, letting him kiss him.

But as Chenshu was about to pull away, Jin Chen furrowed his brow, hooked Chenshu's collar with his pen barrel, drew him closer, and pressed his nose to the damp skin on Chenshu's neck, sniffing carefully.

Chenshu then sat on the bedside, turned his head, and savored the feeling of Jin Chen's nose brushing his neck, raising a hand to rest on Jin Chen's lower back, fingertips rubbing through the fabric.

Jin Chen suddenly lifted his gaze and asked, "Do I have a scent on me?"

Chenshu opened his eyes and without hesitation said yes.

Jin Chen tilted his head, his brow still furrowed: "Strange, how can that scent linger so long?"

Chenshu came out of his reverie, realizing Jin Chen probably wasn't referring to the scent he imagined, composed himself, and asked, "What scent?"

"The kind from inside the cave," Jin Chen said.

Hearing that, Chenshu leaned in and sniffed Jin Chen closely, nose to his clothes, from shoulder to wrist, saying, "Xiao Chen, you don't have that smell on you."

Jin Chen drew out an "ah", then pushed away the head buried in his neck, saying, "But you do—go wash again; I really don't like this scent."

Chenshu stood, turned, and hurried to the washroom, his steps much faster than before, even a bit rushed as he closed the door.

After three years apart, sharing a bed again, he had waited so long; finally having Jin Chen voluntarily stay in his room, he didn't want anything to ruin tonight.

When he came out again, he hadn't even bothered to dress properly—there was no robe, just a white vest with a low neckline that outlined his full pectorals, and a towel loosely tied below.

Chenshu walked to the bedside, placed both hands on either side of Jin Chen, and leaned over to look at him.

The love and pity he had suppressed for too long, fearing they could not be contained, surged forth; he embraced Jin Chen, burying his face in his shoulder, the post-bath warmth and moist breath rushing into Jin Chen's body like a warm wrap, slowing Jin Chen's heartbeat and giving him a sense of solid security.

Jin Chen gently held Chenshu's cheek and asked, "Do you want to reconcile?"

Chenshu: "Yes."

His voice was a little hoarse, his heart feeling sour and swollen.

He had thought that as long as he could confirm Jin Chen was safe, knowing he lived well on the main star in their former home, he would be content merely watching from the shadows and protecting him.

But human hearts are insatiable, and besides, he and Jin Chen were never meant to be separated.

Chenshu's voice seemed to melt between his lips and teeth, falling low and soft, laced with an almost pleading tenderness: "Can we?"

Jin Chen leaned against the bedside, not letting him lean further, hooked a small stool with his toe, pulled it to the bed, and gestured for Chenshu to sit.

Chenshu sat as instructed, putting him slightly lower than Jin Chen, requiring him to tilt his chin up to see Jin Chen's face clearly.

Jin Chen lowered his eyes and said, "Yes, but there's a condition."

Chenshu made a show of listening attentively, hearing Jin Chen say, "Tell me a secret you've kept from me, and tonight I'll hear just one."

As Jin Chen spoke, the foot that had been dangling off the bed when he hooked the stool lifted and pressed onto Chenshu's thigh through the towel, "You know what I want to hear, right?"

Chenshu's Adam's apple bobbed as he reached out to grasp Jin Chen's ankle, his fingertips rubbing the protruding ankle bone.

I...

"I don't want to hear lies and excuses from your mouth; do you want me to keep feeling miserable?"

Those words alone were enough to make Chenshu's aching heart lose all its defenses.

The things he had suppressed for too long surged in his chest, seeking an outlet; he could barely keep holding back the desires and emotions he had forced down, and the longer they were repressed, the more they threatened to break—he let them flood out, and his eyes grew ever darker.

"I'm sick."

Jin Chen's foot on Chenshu's leg twitched slightly; he took out a medicine bottle from nearby, turning it between his fingers—it was the one he had just found in Chenshu's coat draped over the chair.

"So you've been taking this medicine all along?"

Chenshu answered, his voice near despair: "It's a mental illness, Xiao Chen."

Jin Chen's fingers tightened around the medicine bottle, then loosened.

Though he hadn't expected Chenshu to be so blunt, he had already suspected as much; Chenshu's reaction in the cave today, with its self-destructive longing, seemed like some kind of post‑trauma mental disorder.

Such stress disorders vary with the nature of the trauma, producing different symptoms, and Chenshu's appear especially complex.

Chenshu seemed to be cutting open his own chest with a knife, pulling out his innermost self to show the person before him.

He said, "At first… this emotion could be controlled."

Chenshu thought he could handle those matters while waiting to return to the main star, but all psychological treatments were useless for him; medication could only keep his body functioning at a basic level, and psychological intervention could not reach those wounds.

In fact, during each of those breakdowns, he had been thinking of Jin Chen.

Even at many collapse points, Chenshu wanted to carve out his own flesh and scrape off his bones; he could not endure the mental torture, and only intense physical pain could ease the torment of Jin Chen's absence—otherwise he truly feared he could not endure.

Jin Chen suddenly said, "Lift your head."

Chenshu lifted his face, his gaze traveling slowly from Jin Chen's knee up to his eyes, finally able to breathe a little; the suffocating pressure he felt when he had opened himself earlier eased under Jin Chen's gaze.

Jin Chen's long, pale fingertips lightly rubbed Chenshu's chest through his clothing, asking, "Why didn't you tell me after you came back?"

A thin sheen of sweat appeared on Chenshu's forehead: "I was afraid to frighten you… Xiao Chen."

Jin Chen gave a soft laugh, unclear whether it was resignation or annoyance, his foot moving higher to pinch some unknown fabric, as if holding something pliable that would not resist.

Chenshu grunted, his eyes somewhat dazed, as if that gentle pull had dragged him into a vortex of painful pleasure.

He turned his head, his cool lips lightly touching Jin Chen's knee, his eyes full of anguish and supreme delight fixed on Jin Chen.

Seeing Chenshu like this, Jin Chen instead braced his arms, leaned his upper body slightly back, and tilted his head to look at him.

His foot remained planted, as if he were toying with something that couldn't withstand teasing.

"Do you like this, Uncle Chenshu?"

Jin Chen's voice carried a lazy smile; the youth was tall and slender, his shoulders and back forming sharp, straight lines, his muscles handsome but not exaggerated, in the lamplight catching a faint pink, as if tinted by warmth.

Chenshu gazed at Jin Chen in the lamplight, his eyes somewhat wandering, his forehead pressing against Jin Chen's knee in an almost devout plea, "Bao Bao…"

"You can hurt me."

His body was yearning, but after three years apart and the stress reactions from so many injuries, it had become even more sensitive than before.

The boundary between pain and pleasure had long blurred in his perception; even slight pressure and friction made him dizzy, and a warm current seeped from the point of contact, spreading through his blood vessels to his limbs.

Jin Chen lowered his gaze at him for a moment, then drew his feet back to the edge of the bed, "Come onto the bed."

Chenshu lifted his head, his expression like someone pulled from deep water, his eye sockets still red; he rose to his feet, braced his knees on the bed's edge, wrapped his arms around Jin Chen's waist, and slowly drew him into his embrace.