Chapter 381

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Protagonist:

Chai Mi

The situation at her maternal grandmother's home was truly hard.

It was truly a difficult situation, unlike Sanjiacun where the land was somewhat flat and could be irrigated, so the harvest was decent enough—at least they wouldn't starve.

But here, there really was nothing at all. On top of that, her maternal grandfather had been paralyzed for many years, and her maternal grandmother's health was poor. Such a life was hard for everyone.

Chai Mi sometimes thought: once her maternal grandfather was gone, he had truly gone to enjoy blessings.

After dinner, Chai Mi had her father Chai Youqing return home first; there was still a mountain of things to do at home.

The next day, her second aunt and second uncle also went home.

Chai Mi strolled around her maternal grandfather's home and finally summed up a conclusion.

This place was even harder than her second aunt's Juren Zhangzi.

At her second aunt's place, at least roads had been built, and there were some mountain goods to sell; here, there really was nothing at all.

There was very little land they could grow on, and hardly any harvest. They couldn't go out to work, their health was poor, and her maternal grandmother took medicine every day—just living was hard.

As she strolled, Da Jiu came back from behind carrying a small bag of things. Seeing Chai Mi strolling, he said, "Chai Mi, in a while I'll roast these corn kernels for you; your mother loves them."

After living so many years, Chai Mi really didn't know her mother liked eating corn kernels.

The problem was, these corn kernels, even roasted, were hard to eat.

"Da Jiu, when did my mother start liking this……"

"Your mother had nothing to eat when she was little. Back then, Da Jiu would steal corn, roast it at home, and give it to her…… Last time your mother came back, she even asked me to roast some for her."

Chai Mi was stunned for a moment, then asked, "So was life even harder back home before……"

"It was always hard. After I married your sister-in-law, your second aunt got married. Your mother was still little then…… and your old aunt too…… sigh…… having something to eat was already good."

Da Jiu said, sounding somewhat ashamed: "Your aunt-in-law, to save money, didn't give your mother and your old aunt much to eat. They were small and starving. Later your mother married, and your old aunt ran away…… I don't know where she went, and there's been no word to this day."

Chai Mi also sighed.

Her old aunt had indeed run away.

Run away from starvation……

Of course, everyone was hungry back then; it was unavoidable.

Afterward, Da Jiu took those corn kernels home. Chai Mi followed back to see how they were roasted.

As it turned out, they were just roasted dry……

Nothing was added; they were just tossed into the pot and roasted until cooked, then they could be eaten.

But……

They must be terribly hard to eat.

Su Wan was tidying things up inside the room. Aunt (Mother's Sister) had stuffed her with a lot of things—garlic, eggs, and some green onions from her own home.

Su Wan didn't refuse.

Chai Mi watched Da Jiu pour those shriveled corn kernels into the roaring-hot big iron pot. The pot shovel scraped the bottom of the pot, making a harsh "crackle-crackle" sound. No oil, no salt—just the fire roasting the dry kernels. A grainy, scorched aroma mixed with bitterness, carrying a burnt smell, surged through the kitchen.

Chai Mi wondered: when her mother had eaten this "good thing" last time, was her heart also heavy like his now, weighed down by the bitterness of past hard days and the sourness of the present?

Su Wan was just coming out of the inner room, carrying a small basket of eggs and several strings of garlic that Aunt (Mother's Sister) had forced on her. The familiar burnt smell drilled straight into her nose, and her steps stopped at the kitchen door. She looked at her elder brother's slightly hunched back, clumsily but earnestly stirring the pot. His old cloth shirt, washed white and patched over and over. This scene "whoosh" pulled her back to her bitter childhood days as a girl.

"Brother," Su Wan's voice carried a barely perceptible tremor as she called out softly.

Da Jiu turned his head at the sound, squeezing out his usual, slightly simple-minded smile on his face: "Third Sister, all tidied up? Just right—the roasted corn kernels you like are almost out of the pot. In a while I'll pack some for you to take."

"Mm." Su Wan answered, moving closer to the stove. Her gaze fell on the golden-brown kernels jumping in the pot, and the burnt smell in her nose grew stronger. "Still doing it like this? Nothing added?" She asked knowingly, without disdain in her words, only a deep, endless longing mixed with heartache.

"Of course!" Da Jiu poked with the shovel. "Old-fashioned method, original flavor! Didn't you like this when you were little? Last time you came back and mentioned it, I remembered. Don't look at how rough it looks—it's fragrant, with a good chew!" He tried hard to make his words sound light, but the weariness and heavy pressure of life in his eyes were like a layer of dust that couldn't be wiped away, covering up the little brightness he was forcing.

Su Wan didn't take up the conversation, silently watching the pot. That "fragrance" and "chew" were marks carved into the bones by years of starvation—the only, and greatest, sweetness Big Brother could give his youngest sister when they were dirt poor. "Brother, do you remember? That year, the winter sky was snowy, snow fell thick, and there was only half a bowl of coarse cornmeal left at home. You roasted a small handful for me just like this, and made me share it with my little sister, while you and Sister-in-law drank that thin gruel clear enough to see a reflection in……"

Da Jiu's poking motion froze. The pot shovel scraped the pot with a harsh "scratch" sound. He hung his head, his voice muffled: "Why bring up those old things from eight lifetimes ago…… it's all in the past. Now…… now isn't there something to chew on?" He quickly wiped the corner of his eye with his sleeve cuff. It seemed a bit damp—whether from the steam of the pot or something else, he didn't know.

"Mm, there is something to chew on now." Su Wan's voice was soft. She moved her gaze from the pot and glanced toward the inner room. Her maternal grandmother's weak, stifled coughing came in waves, like a dull knife scraping at people's hearts. "But this life…… Mother's health……" She paused, as if speaking the words after required great effort, "And Father…… Father is gone, he's gone to enjoy blessings, no longer suffering. But Mother is so paralyzed, Brother, you…… you and Sister-in-law are suffering so much…… sigh……"

The elderly in the family were both in especially poor health, paralyzed as a pair. This was also the main reason Su Wan didn't want to return to her maiden home and add trouble.

Even if she was mistreated at the Chai family, there was no home to return to.

Eating at her maiden home was difficult.

Da Jiu "whoosh" lifted his head. The smile on his face completely vanished, leaving only a wooden, stubborn look: "What nonsense about suffering or not suffering! That's our mother! Raising sons to prevent old-age hardship is natural and right! Your sister-in-law and I have arms and legs—we can take care of her!"

"I know, Brother!" Su Wan's voice became urgent, filled with heart-rending anxiety. "I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of Mother. But look at this house……" Her eyes swept over the low, dilapidated, soot-blackened earthen house. Several chipped coarse porcelain bowls were stacked by the stove, and wilted wild vegetables piled in the corner. "The arable land is only the size of a palm. Heaven doesn't open its eyes, and the harvest is barely enough to fill your mouth. You and Sister-in-law have worn yourselves out these past years. Are you counting on just yourself to go out and do odd jobs? Those strong young men still worry about finding work, and you……" She couldn't bear to continue. Da Jiu had injured his back from hard work in his early years, and on cloudy, rainy days it hurt so much he couldn't straighten his waist.

"Afraid of what!" Da Jiu's voice suddenly rose, carrying a hard, unyielding tone that allowed no objection, as if speaking to Su Wan, but more like speaking to himself. "I can still work! Foreman Wang at the brick factory said that when spring comes, the brick factory will be short of brick carriers. I'll go! One day…… one day I can at least earn ten or twenty yuan! Enough to buy medicine for Mother, enough for the family to chew on!" He straightened his actually already bent waist with all his might. "Your sister-in-law can stay home to take care of Mother—feed her meals, wipe her body, it's fine! Don't you worry about it anymore!"

"Ten or twenty yuan?" Su Wan's heart "thud" tightened. She knew that those few coins were a drop in the bucket compared to the medicine costs. "Brother, the medicine Mother takes—I've inquired. One bottle costs dozens of yuan! And her bedsores need good medicine paste, or…… or they'll rot faster and cause more suffering! Just the medicine costs would crush a person! Sister-in-law's health isn't good either—she gets headaches and fevers every few days, and that costs money too!" The more she said, the more anxious she became, her eye rims turning red. "Brother, don't force yourself! I'm not an outsider—I'm your own younger sister! If you have difficulties, talk to me! My side…… my side, though tight, Youqing can still go out and earn some money. I…… I can still help you out……"

"No need!" Da Jiu almost shouted, veins bulging on his forehead. He suddenly turned away, dodging Su Wan's heartache-filled, worried gaze, and scooped at the corn kernels in the pot that were almost burnt. "Who needs your help! Just live your own life well! A married daughter is like water spilled out—how can there be reason for you to return and support your maiden home? People would point at our spines and laugh!"

"Brother——!" Su Wan's tears "whoosh" fell. "What nonsense about jokes or not! I'm your sister! Mother is also my mother! You're my own brother! Watching you and Sister-in-law struggle like this, watching Mother suffer so much, I…… how can my heart feel good?" She stepped forward and grabbed Da Jiu's wrist, rough as sandpaper. "Tell me the truth, sister to sister—is it…… is Mother's medicine all used up? That bottle of painkillers I got for Mother last time—is it already gone?"

Da Jiu's wrist trembled violently in Su Wan's hand. He gritted his back teeth, his cheeks puffed out high, and a low whimpering sound was squeezed from his throat, like an animal caught in a trap, covered in wounds. After a long while, he squeezed out a sentence from between his teeth, his voice hoarse: "……Not used up. I…… I have a way."

"What way do you have?" Su Wan asked immediately, her voice choked with tears. "Sell blood? Or borrow usurious loans from that donkey-rolling King of Hell? Brother! Those are livelihoods that cost lives!"

"Mind your own business!" Da Jiu suddenly swung his arm, breaking free from Su Wan's hand, the force making her stumble. He had his back to Su Wan, his shoulders "huffing and puffing" as they rose and fell. "I…… I'll go check the traps on the back mountain, see if I can catch a wild hare or something……" Like he was fleeing for his life, he picked up the smooth old stick leaning against the wall root, lowered his head, and said he'd go out and take a look.

The corn kernels at the bottom of the pot "pop-popped" and Su Wan's stifled sobs. Chai Mi stood by the door, having heard every word of that conversation, his heart feeling blocked. He looked at his mother's trembling shoulders, walked over gently, and supported her.

"Mother……"

Su Wan wiped her face, sighed, and tried to press down the tangled mess in her heart. She looked at the corn kernels, more than half burnt, in the pot, picked up the pot shovel, and carefully scraped out the still-edible, golden-brown parts into a chipped coarse porcelain bowl. The motion was as gentle as if she were holding a gold nugget.

"Come, let's go see your grandmother." Her voice was nasal, but carried a stubborn streak.

Chai Mi felt uneasy inside as well, a heavy sense of guilt weighing on her.

She had never imagined from the start that Da Jiu's family situation was like this.

Yet she had kept complaining that her aunt wanted to take advantage.

But thinking about it, caring for two paralyzed old people alone was extremely difficult. And then there were the son and daughter-in-law...

Ai...

"Mom..." Chai Mi secretly tugged on Su Wan: "I still have one thousand yuan here, you give it to my Da Jiu."

Su Wan's brows furrowed slightly. When Chai Mi's maternal grandfather passed away, the messy expenses totaled about fifteen or sixteen hundred, all paid by Chai Mi, and later she gave five hundred to her aunt — that was two thousand yuan already.

This... another thousand on top of that?

Su Wan also felt a bit awkward; her natal family needed to live, but her own family also needed to live, giving like this...

"Save it, Xiu'er still needs it for her studies."

"It's fine, not much." Chai Mi said with a smile: "You don't know... mm-hmm, your daughter, actually... has quite a bit of money."

This matter Su Wan truly did not know.

Su Wan accepted it with some difficulty, then led Chai Mi to go see Grandma again.

Grandma lay paralyzed on the earthen kang in the inner room, covered by a thin quilt covered in patches. Inside the room was a stale smell that wouldn't disperse, mixing medicinal soup odor, moldiness, and a faint, nauseating scent of rotting flesh. A low-wattage small light bulb hung from the roof beam. Grandma's face was waxy yellow, so thin her cheekbones stood high, eye sockets sunken deep. She seemed asleep, yet also awake, her breathing both light and fine.

Su Wan held that bowl of stir-fried corn kernels, sat at the edge of the kang, and called softly: "Mom? Mom, wake up, eat a little to pad your stomach? Brother stir-fried the corn kernels you like."

Grandma's eyelids twitched a few times, she forced open a slit of her eyes. These past two days since Grandpa passed, Grandma had grown even weaker. Her eyeballs wandered for half a day before locking onto Su Wan's face, then slowly shifting to the bowl in her hand. Her dry shriveled lips moved a few times, squeezing out a faint, hoarse breath: "... You're here... your dad..."

"Ai, Mom, it's alright now, it's alright, Dad's gone to enjoy his blessings." Su Wan's tears nearly welled up again; she forced them back, used chopsticks to pick up a few kernels stir-fried relatively soft, carefully brought them to Grandma's mouth, "Taste it, Brother just stir-fried them, they're fragrant."

Grandma opened her mouth, like a little house sparrow waiting to be fed. Su Wan carefully placed the corn kernels inside. Grandma chewed with a hollow, sunken belly, her dry sunken cheeks moving with difficulty, making fine, heart-wrenching sounds. She ate incredibly slowly, incredibly laboriously; a few corn kernels seemed to drain all her strength. After a good long while, she listlessly shook her head, not eating anymore.

"Mom, eat a couple more bites, your health is important." Su Wan persuaded in a low voice.

?? No update package tomorrow, so don't squat. I haven't had much manuscript fee for a long time, always writing for love, can't afford to keep writing for love.