Chapter 160: Pei Zhi Fell Off His Horse

Upon seeing Xie Yan's face turn into Pei Zhi's, Shen Shuangning was almost startled awake.

As soon as she woke, what came into view was a man's long, distinct hand, hovering gently beside her cheek.

"What did you dream of, to cry so sorrowfully?"

Sitting beside her was Xiao Jingyuan.

Shen Shuangning recognized him, took his hand, and in his presence uncontrollably revealed a vulnerable side.

Xiao Jingyuan felt heartbroken, naturally pulled her into his embrace, his broad arms holding her, sensing her body trembling slightly.

It seemed indeed not a pleasant dream.

Xiao Jingyuan regretted a little; he should have woken her earlier.

"It's all right, I'm here." He soothed her emotions, his fingers lightly stroking her back.

The people and events in the dream made Shen Shuangning feel afraid.

She never imagined that in her previous life she would have such a special experience with Xie Yan.

Before that, her memory only extended to her going to her maternal grandparents' home in Jiangxi, where she stayed for a while.

But as for what happened on the journey from Jingcheng to Jiangxi, it was a complete blank.

She had not lacked suspicion, and she had asked A Heng why she could not remember what happened on the road.

A Heng replied, "At that time we encountered bandits; the young lady, trying to dodge an arrow, accidentally struck the roadside stone and fainted. Later the physician said it was a brain injury that caused her to forget that stretch of road—better to forget, so she wouldn't be frightened."

Everyone was unanimous in saying it was bandits, an accident, amnesia.

She believed it.

But now upon reflection, it was clearly Xie Yan's deliberate doing.

She remembered it all.

She could even clearly recall that on the third day after fleeing that desolate mountain, she would often wake at night crying out, and Xie Yan would sit beside her, bringing a bowl of sweet-smelling decoction, softly coaxing: "Drink this, and you won't have nightmares again."

At the time she was dazed badly, only feeling his voice gentle, so she obediently drank it down.

After that, the fear of that experience gradually faded, and later even Xie Yan's name and appearance were completely forgotten.

It was he who did not want her to remember, wishing her to forget that experience and him. As for his motive, perhaps he feared her existence would interfere with his later "grand plan," or maybe for some other reason.

What made Shen Shuangning's heart tremble even more was that the taste of that decoction was very familiar—she had drunk it in this life as well.

It was precisely after the mishap during the spring hunt that Pei Zhi had someone send it to her, saying it was a "formula to calm the spirit and settle fright," specially prepared by an Imperial Physician. She gave it no thought, drinking only two sips before setting it down.

Yet just those two sips caused her memory of what happened during the spring hunt to gradually blur. However, since she had not drunk much, by straining to recall she could still remember some details.

In short, the flavor of that bowl of decoction was exactly the same as the one Xie Yan had fed her in her previous life!

At this very moment, the faces of Pei Zhi and Xie Yan alternated in Shen Shuangning's mind.

She already had a vague suspicion in her heart.

At that moment outside the room, Pei Zhi, looking through the window, saw the scene inside, and the hand beneath his sleeve slowly clenched.

Qing Yun stood to one side, catching sight of his grim expression, feeling delighted inside.

Pei Zhi withdrew his gaze from the two inside, then turned to look at Qing Yun and said, "You did this on purpose."

Just now Qing Yun had gone to fetch him, saying Shen Shuangning had awakened, and he had come right away.

But what he saw was Xiao Jingyuan accompanying her at her side, along with her natural reliance and closeness toward Xiao Jingyuan.

It was as if a knife were carving his heart, the blood that flowed out icy cold.

Qing Yun, however, seemed unaware of his anger, politely clasping his hands in a salute, his tone neither humble nor arrogant: "The Fourth Miss and the Crown Prince have long been betrothed; they will soon wed. If the Junior Tutor truly cares for the Fourth Miss, he ought to watch his words and deeds, lest he invite criticism and needlessly tarnish the Fourth Miss's reputation."

Pei Zhi gave a cold laugh: "When is it your turn to tell me what to do?" Then he flicked his sleeve and left.

Qing Yun watched his retreating back, his eyes complex.

Inside the room, Shen Shuangning's emotions had gradually calmed; her first words were: "Is Xie Yan really dead?"

Xiao Jingyuan gave an affirmative hum, saying, "The Black Armor Guard found his corpse beneath the cliff; he is thoroughly dead, and I have confirmed it myself."

Shen Shuangning nodded: "Better that he's dead."

Although in her previous life she had deep ties with Xie Yan, even to the point of a life-and-death bond, this life is ultimately different.

Now Xie Yan harbors an irreconcilable enmity toward her.

Upon hearing that name, her heart holds only an indelible hatred.

"I had a dream." Shen Shuangning touched her arm, speaking softly, "I dreamed of Xie Yan."

Xiao Jingyuan heard this, his eyes flickering slightly, but he said nothing, patiently listening to her continue.

Shen Shuangning did not notice the change in Xiao Jingyuan's expression; she roughly recounted what had happened in the dream.

Though she spoke of it as a "dream," both knew she referred to her previous life.

"...... I also don't know why, after Xie Yan died, I instead began to remember. In this world, there truly are many things that cannot be explained."

Xiao Jingyuan gave neither affirmation nor denial.

After hearing Shen Shuangning finish, a flash of realization crossed his eyes, and the mist cleared.

Since regaining his previous-life memories, a question has continually turned in his mind: How could someone as deep‑thinking as Xie Yan, after Shen Shuangning's passing, carry out such mad actions?

First, using Prince Rui's hand, he forcibly took Shen Shuangning from the Prince Yan's Manor, then brought her away from Jingcheng, hid her, and finally, when besieged by pursuers at the broken cliff, he actually embraced her corpse and leapt off the cliff in "love‑unto‑death"!

Xiao Jingyuan could not make sense of it, for in his view Xie Yan did not even count as a fleeting romance for Shen Shuangning.

Only now did he suddenly understand.

It turned out that Xie Yan had shared such an experience with her; no wonder he could not forget her.

"The past need not be probed further." Xiao Jingyuan encircled her frail form in his arms.

He did not want her to know what had happened after her death in the previous life, lest she be frightened and anxious.

Xiao Jingyuan held her, applying some force, and said, "Once we return, we will marry."

Shen Shuangning gave a soft hum.

But before leaving, there was still something she needed to confirm.

The incident at the Liu family estate was overly tragic, with over a hundred people dead.

New graves on the field ridges sat side by side; white banners rustled in the cold wind, and every day one could hear sorrowful weeping.

This sudden disaster almost severed the Liu family branch.

The manor lord and his wife died in that massacre; several stewards and guards also perished on the spot. After counting, the vast Liu family had only Liu Yu left.

She wore plain white mourning clothes, kneeling before her parents' graves to burn paper; her once lively eyes were now hollow like two dry wells, her face dry of tears, yet the unrelenting grief was more heart‑wrenching than outright wailing.

Shen Shuangning really feared she might not cope, so she deliberately stayed until last, waiting until the estate's aftermath was settled, then stepped forward and said, "Cousin, come back with us to the Duke's residence."

Liu Yu shook her head: "No, I cannot leave."

Her gaze swept over the estate's direction, where lay the home she had grown up in, the fruit trees her parents had planted with their own hands, and the fields the tenant farmers had tilled for generations.

"This is the painstaking legacy my parents left after half a lifetime of toil; the estate is the root of the Liu family, and it cannot be severed. Now that they are gone, I must guard this root."

She paused, lifted her hand to wipe the moisture from her eyes, and said: "Besides, most of the tenant families have lost their kin; if I left, what would become of them? Who would tend these fields? The livelihood my parents left behind cannot just be allowed to lie fallow."

Liu Yu proved stronger than Shen Shuangning had imagined, yet that only made her more pitiable.

Shen Shuangning said: "But you, a young lady, guarding such a vast estate is too hard."

"Then let it be hard." Liu Yu smiled. "I will make the estate better than before, so that my parents in heaven may rest easy."

Seeing Liu Yu's resolve, Shen Shuangning stopped urging her, took her hand and said: "No matter what decision you make, cousin, I support you; if you ever lack money or manpower, or run into trouble, just send word to Jingcheng."

Liu Yu looked at her, now much thinner, eyes full of guilt, and said: "It's my failure to judge people correctly that almost implicated you all, and also Mr. Chen......"

Thinking of Chen Jia, Shen Shuangning's nose soured, and she could not speak for a long while.

After a long while, Shen Shuangning softly said: "Everything will get better."

Liu Yu also nodded with a smile, but the pain in her eyes could not be concealed no matter what.

At that moment, Shen Shuangning saw a stone not far away.

These days, Shitou hardly left the estate, staying to guard it.

While Liu Yu busied herself setting up graves for her relatives, he followed, digging pits and filling them; while Liu Yu worried over the burnt account books, he crouched nearby to help sort the torn pages; at night, when Liu Yu kept vigil in the mourning hall, he lit a fire outside the door and silently kept her company.

Basically, wherever Liu Yu went, he was there too, without any deliberate flattery, only silent protection.

A young man's thoughts are not hard to guess.

But Shen Shuangning glanced at her cousin, fearing that after this ordeal she had acquired a shadow and could no longer muster interest in romantic matters.

Afterward, the estate gradually regained vitality.

Shitou also decided to stay, saying he would inherit Mr. Chen's legacy, farm well, learn to improve agricultural methods, and someday achieve something noteworthy.

Shen Shuangning naturally respected his decision; Xiao Jingyuan also helped find a teacher for him, and Shitou studied very earnestly.

On the other side, Yan Zheng was not so pleased; from the first sight of Shitou, he wanted to recruit him.

But no matter how he was persuaded or enticed, this person was single‑minded, wanting only to farm!

Farm, farm! What's there to grow on this broken land? Joining the army to earn merit and become a general would be far more promising, wouldn't it?!

"What a waste of talent!" Yan Zheng slapped his thigh and told his attendants: "Come on, let's find Master Pei; this godforsaken place has no future—back to Jingcheng!"

Actually they ought to have left long ago, but Pei Zhi lingered, unwilling to move; Yan Zheng couldn't fathom his thoughts and didn't dare to press him.

Now that the estate's affairs have settled, the culprit punished, lingering any longer would be pointless.

Yan Zheng strode toward the west wing where Pei Zhi was temporarily staying; just as he turned the corridor, his steps halted abruptly.

He saw Pei Zhi standing under a pagoda tree, beside him a woman dressed in a moon‑white ruqun.

Yan Zheng stared, somewhat startled—wasn't that Miss Shen Shuangning?

Could this lone man and woman be having a clandestine meeting?

Young Master Xiao is still at the estate—these two are being far too bold!

Yan Zheng rolled his eyes, but in the end he didn't dare to step forward and disturb them.

Here, Shen Shuangning lifted her gaze to Pei Zhi, lightly bit her lip, and said: "In this world, only one person has ever called me 'Miss Ning'; I deceived him, and my surname is Ning."

Pei Zhi's face was calm, but his heart was already bleeding.

Shen Shuangning said: "You have always refused to tell me who you are. Are you afraid I might remember?"

Pei Zhi clenched his fingers, slightly shifted his gaze: "I don't know what you're talking about."

"How could you not know?" Shen Shuangning insisted. "I may not be as clever as you, but I'm not stupid!"

The evening wind grew cool, and the pagoda tree leaves rustled.

For the first time, Pei Zhi felt the urge to escape.

Shen Shuangning drew a deep breath, fixed her eyes on his, and said word by word: "You are not really surnamed Pei, nor are you the third son of the Pei family, right?"

Pei Zhi said nothing.

Shen Shuangning stepped forward and said: "You are Xie Yan."

There was no doubt, no probing—just a plain statement of confirmation.

Pei Zhi's soul trembled.

Watching the waver in his eyes, Shen Shuangning felt the doubts that had weighed on her chest for days suddenly dissipate, replaced by a complex sense of relief.

She gave a light smile, though moisture welled in her eyes: "You really are."

In her previous life, the Pei family's third son was a simpleton—how could the person before her be so brilliantly clever and adept at strategy?

Only the strategist beside Prince Rui could maneuver step by step in the court and repeatedly deceive her!

Pei Zhi saw the fleeting disgust in her eyes, as if his chest had been stabbed; he loathed that look of hers.

"Xie Yan is already dead."

Pei Zhi suddenly raised his hand, gripping her shoulders firmly, leaned in slightly, and said to her misty eyes: "The Xie Yan who hurt you, made you afraid, and made you uneasy is already dead. Look well—I am not him!"

Such a Pei Zhi made Shen Shuangning uncontrollably recall that Xie Yan who killed without blinking.

Fear and hatred intertwined in her heart, sending a shudder through her; the color drained from her lips somewhat, but her eye sockets became intensely red, and she snapped, "But you are ultimately Xie Yan!"

She brushed his hand aside and took two steps back.

Though they were within arm's reach, it felt as if an unbridgeable chasm lay between them.

Pei Zhi's hand remained frozen midair, his eyes' depths a bloody red.

He had long anticipated this day, but he hadn't expected it to be this heart‑wrenching; he gave a bitter laugh and self‑mockingly said, "You hate me this much—fine. Since you won't love me, let you hate me instead. At least this way, you still have me in your heart."

The man's eyes churned with mad obsession and despair.

He suddenly drew a dagger from his sleeve, and before Shen Shuangning could react, he grabbed her hand and forced the hilt into her palm, making her grip it.

Meanwhile, the blade's tip turned, pointing steadily at his own chest.

"Pei Zhi, what are you doing?" Shen Shuangning struggled to pull her hand free, but he held it tight.

"You hate me, don't you? Come, kill me—kill me to vent your hatred."

Shen Shuangning's eyes widened suddenly: "You're crazy, let me go......"

Pei Zhi gripped her hand firmly, his face set with resolve, and he curled his lips in a smile: "I'm crazy? Yes, I've been crazy all along."

He gazed at her trembling, fearful eyes and said, "If you won't believe I'm not Xie Yan, then let you finish him yourself! Kill him, and we can start over—okay?"

Hearing his nonsensical words, Shen Shuangning grew both angry and anxious, and tears finally spilled over.

Suddenly, Pei Zhi let out a muffled groan, and cold sweat instantly beaded on his forehead.

It turned out that, in the struggle, Shen Shuangning's hand was being forced forward by his iron grip, and that sharp dagger actually plunged into his body!

The blade sank half an inch, and a dark‑red stain spread quickly across the fabric.

The pain made Pei Zhi instinctively loosen his grip on her hand; his already pallid face lost all color.

Shen Shuangning startled, the hand gripping the hilt jerked open as if frightened, and she stepped back two paces.

Pei Zhi staggered, half‑kneeling on the ground, his body trembling slightly from the pain, yet his eyes remained fixed on the woman before him, as if he wanted to engrave her image into his very bones and blood.

He opened his mouth, his voice tinged with a near‑broken tenderness: "Look...... I could give you my life, if only you would...... turn and look at me."

Shen Shuangning's face went pale; she seemed to find the scene absurd beyond belief, her gaze fixed on a point in the air as she numbly shook her head: "No matter who you are, there is no possibility between us."

Having said that, she turned and ran off, as if desperate to escape the place at once.

Pei Zhi lifted his hand, as if trying to hold her back, but it was futile. He watched her leave, his vision gradually blurring.

A black shadow leapt down from the roof.

Xiao Jingyuan stood steadily before him, looking down from above, his face full of cold intent.

"You've made her forget you—why bother to pester her any further?"