Chapter 192

His Ningning is so good, like the sun, like morning dew, clear and bright—how could he bear to let go?

But he is too terrible, he is an unacknowledged existence, the poison in his body could turn him into a complete lunatic at any moment.

With him being so terrible, how could he deserve such a good Ningning?

He seems to have everything, yet also seems to have nothing. This period of time also feels like something he stole, sooner or later he'll have to give it back...

The stabbing pain in his shoulder made Shen Shuangning's eyes instantly red, the pent-up grievances and worries of many days surged up like a bursting dam.

She clenched her fists and repeatedly pounded Xiao Jingyuan's chest, eyes red as she demanded: "You're not dead, so why hide it from me too? Seeing me worry for you like a fool, are you pleased?"

Only now, seeing Xiao Jingyuan standing well before her, did she belatedly realize that the "them" in Pei Zhi's earlier plan also included Xiao Jingyuan!

No wonder he had earlier handed over the family estate for her to manage, and specially urged her to stockpile grain and herbs—it was all preparation for today's opposition to Prince Rui.

And she, from beginning to end, was kept in the dark, like an outsider, foolishly shedding tears for his "death news" and running about for his safety.

"How could you treat me like this! Xiao Jingyuan, you're really annoying, always so self-righteous." Shen Shuangning grew angrier the more she thought, her punches falling harder, even accidentally striking his shoulder wound.

Xiao Jingyuan, however, neither dodged nor avoided, letting her vent, merely tightening the hand around her waist.

Wrong is wrong, he had nothing to explain.

"Sorry, it's all my fault." Xiao Jingyuan held her tightly, whispering in her ear: "You came to find me—I am indeed happy, truly."

He paused, then carefully probed: "In your heart, is there also a little place for me?"

Shen Shuangning lifted her head, fighting back tears, her voice full of sorrow: "Then I loved you so much before—can't you feel it?"

Both understood, she was speaking of her previous life.

Shen Shuangning clearly noticed the man stiffen for a moment, but he said nothing, merely holding her tighter.

The wind seemed to have stopped, leaving only the sound of their intertwined breaths.

After a long while, Xiao Jingyuan found his voice again, tone trembling imperceptibly: "Then could you, as before, love me once more?"

The wind stirred the man's disheveled bangs, revealing the scarlet at the corners of his eyes.

The former Xiao Jingyuan was the Da Liang Xiao heir whom everyone revered, an invincible war god on the battlefield, forever proud and upright. But now, his expression was unprecedentedly fragile, like a drenched stray dog.

Timidly begging for a little warmth, a little affection.

When she loved him, he did not love her.

Now she no longer loves him, yet he begs for her love.

Shen Shuangning finally could not hold back and let tears flow; she turned her face away, saying nothing.

Xiao Jingyuan seemed to have an answer, a bitter smile involuntarily tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He missed the time when she loved him most; it serves him right, he blames no one but himself.

A sour bitterness filled his heart; he raised his hand and gently wiped away her tears.

"Don't cry, it's all my fault. This isn't the place to talk; let's leave first—I'll go fetch the horse."

Having said that, just as he was about to turn, a hand suddenly grabbed him.

Xiao Jingyuan looked at her, his thin lips still tightly pressed, his eye sockets also red—there was no trace of the fearless, invincible bravado he showed when slaying enemies.

"Xiao Jingyuan." Shen Shuangning sighed, her voice tinged with helplessness yet also hiding an imperceptible softness.

Xiao Jingyuan seemed unable to bear hearing more; he abruptly turned his head, squeezed his eyes shut, and made his breathing extremely light, like a criminal awaiting judgment.

Until a warm hand landed on his forehead, gently brushing aside the bangs before his eyes; the touch was so tender it made his heart tremble, and he opened his eyes.

"I might not be able to love you as passionately as before." Shen Shuangning's voice was soft, yet clear in Xiao Jingyuan's ears: "But I'm willing to give it another try with you."

Xiao Jingyuan was utterly stunned, staring at her in disbelief, almost thinking he had hallucinated.

He opened his mouth, but for a long time could not speak, only instinctively asking: "What did you say?"

Shen Shuangning's ears grew hot; she angrily shook off his hand, saying: "Forget it if you didn't hear!", then turned and walked toward the horse still grazing.

Only then did Xiao Jingyuan react; the loss in his heart was instantly replaced by joy, and he hurried after her: "I heard you—you said you're willing to give it another try with me!"

Shen Shuangning didn't look back, gave an "uh" sound, tried to mount the horse, but the warhorse was too tall; even on tiptoe she couldn't climb up, so she could only stand there somewhat awkwardly.

Xiao Jingyuan turned her shoulder toward him, the gloom in his eyes dissipating like a lit star: "No going back."

"I decide."

"Okay, okay, okay, you decide." Xiao Jingyuan immediately conceded, as long as she was willing to give him a little love, anything would do.

Shen Shuangning pressed her lips and said: "If you act like this again, I'll ignore you completely."

Xiao Jingyuan feared most her ignoring him, so he quickly replied: "I promise you, there won't be a next time." He paused, then added: "From now on, if I do anything wrong, you tell me and I will definitely change."

Shen Shuangning gave an "uh" and urged him to hurry.

Xiao Jingyuan still refused to let go of her, seeming insecure, and asked: "So, do you even like me a little now?"

Shen Shuangning replied helplessly: "I don't like you—why would I come looking for you then?"

Xiao Jingyuan then smiled, slowly lowered his head, his black eyes firmly locked on her, his gaze falling on her lips, silently demanding something.

Shen Shuangning was stunned by his look, puzzled, and asked: "What's wrong again?"

"You said you like me." Xiao Jingyuan looked at her expectantly.

In this life, Shen Shuangning has never actively kissed him, yet he has done so many times.

Shen Shuangning didn't think much, slightly rose on her toes, and quickly pecked his lips.

Although they had been more intimate before, this time her taking the initiative made her heart race suddenly, her ears instantly flushing red.

Not far away, this scene happened to fall into Pei Zhi's eyes.

He turned and leaned against the tree trunk, closed his eyes, hiding the gloom within.

He held a bow in one hand, while the fingernails of his other hand dug deep into the bark, drawing blood he didn't even notice—it felt as if a knife were carving a chunk of flesh from his chest.

Soon after, Pei Zhi opened his eyes; the gloom in them had not fully faded, like a deep pool veiled in thin mist, its bottom unseen.

Not far off came the neighing of a warhorse; looking again, all that could be seen was the black steed carrying the two of them, gradually disappearing into the deep woods.

Pei Zhi withdrew his gaze, no longer watching the direction the two had gone, turned and strode toward the Prince Rui's camp, his eyes filled with a killing intent...