Chapter 1: The Rebirth of the Salted Fish

"Did you watch 'Fen Dou Er' last night?"

"I stopped watching after Lu Tao cheated. I only watch idol dramas now."

"Which channel? What show?"

"I bought the discs, 'The Peak of the Forbidden City.' The part where they fight in the rain is so moving..."

Zhai Da looked around in a daze.

A hospital ward, four beds, and a very retro-looking one at that...

The dim afternoon light spilled into the room. The floor was old-fashioned terrazzo, made of gravel and glass shards embedded in cement, forming a kaleidoscope-like pattern.

In the next bed was a gaunt old man, legs crossed, flipping through a newspaper titled "Yangzi Evening News."

It felt very "dad-like."

Beside him was a radio that looked like a black brick, broadcasting news from somewhere unknown.

"The countdown to the Jingbei Olympics has begun, with over 1.5 million volunteers expected to participate..."

"The Shanghai Composite Index has hit a new high, expected to break 6,000 points this year..."

"The second-largest subprime mortgage lender in the US, New Century Financial, has declared bankruptcy..."

"Experts state that the current real estate market is chaotic and irrational; they advise selling at the peak to lock in profits, investing in the bull market, and repurchasing once prices return to normal."

The two nurses were also dressed in a very retro style, wearing white soft-soled shoes, thick flesh-colored stockings, and hats that looked like little white boats; every time they lowered their heads to tuck in the quilts, one worried they might fall off.

"Wait... what are you doing?!"

Zhai Da felt a hand reaching deeper and quickly pulled his legs back.

The nurse rolled her eyes and pulled a urinal out from under the quilt—it was empty.

"You're awake? We were going to insert a catheter if you didn't wake up by this afternoon. The doctor will come to see you in a bit. Lie still and don't move around."

Zhai Da felt a chill run down his spine.

The nurse's expression was very indifferent; she had seen it all, from the "Eastern Dragon" to the "Crooked-Mouthed Evil God," what hadn't she seen?

"Don't get excited. We still haven't figured out why you fainted, but it's definitely related to your emotions. Close your eyes and rest; your mother should be on her way."

Zhai Da felt a sharp pain in his head. He remembered he had been on a blind date...

Later, because they couldn't agree on the "300,000 yuan dowry" installment plan, they started arguing.

He wasn't ungrateful; after all, he was just an advertising professional in his thirties who had worked for ten years only to remain a beast of burden.

He had been careful not to touch the "ox carts, ox sheds, or calves," but with normalized 996 and super-evolved 007, his liver was yellower than his face, yet he still couldn't piece together a future.

Where did the money go?

Mr. Ziren spoke of distribution according to work; did they not receive the memo?

Everyone said young people should endure hardship and accumulate experience. Now that Zhai Da was over thirty, may he ask where one exchanges experience and hardship for happiness?

Relying on voluntary overtime and a tearful rendition of "Grateful Heart" at the annual meeting, he sacrificed his face and liver, only touching the "so-called middle management" in his thirties, reaching the same level as the boss's son who had just graduated.

Two months later, he was fired, finally realizing he had been brought up specifically to be the scapegoat.

Optimized by the company, suppressed by his superiors, driving for Didi, delivering takeout—the older he got, the more tiring life became.

Even when he later won 50 million in the lottery, it didn't bring him happiness.

Really.

The cold 40 million in the bank couldn't soothe a heart already castrated by life; it only gave this heart the courage to "lie flat."

He just wanted to wear his Vacheron Constantin, drive his Maybach, and live a plain, warm life for the rest of his days.

Plainness is the truth.

It was just that when he was alone, he still longed for love. Before, he had no conditions; after winning, he finally had some confidence, but he didn't want a hound coming for the 40 million—he wanted a sincere lover.

The pain of youth requires a lifetime of adulthood to heal.

So he traveled between various blind date venues, pretending he still had no money. "300,000 dowry" was fine, but with one condition: pay in 100 installments, 3,000 at a time.

Only time can prove sincerity; companionship is the longest confession.

Maybe it was a bit weird, but he always maintained an attitude of mutual respect, treating every blind date with courtesy. If they talked too late, he would very gentlemanly book a five-star hotel for them.

That was exactly what he told the police at the time.

It was the next morning when he left the police station. Sitting in his Maybach, he wanted to smoke a cigarette, but as soon as the smoke hit his lungs, he felt a sharp pain in his chest, and his limbs went numb and unresponsive.

The hardships eaten in youth eventually backfire on every middle-aged person.

He tried to call for help, but the Maybach's soundproofing was too good, and the windows were one-way glass to protect the owner's privacy. His mind grew dimmer and dimmer...

Until the end, in his blurred vision, he vaguely saw a young man on an electric scooter, carrying his beloved girl, whizzing past. Both were very poor... but both were very happy. It was truly enviable.

"No parking here!"

That was the last sound he heard, or perhaps it was an auditory hallucination.

When he opened his eyes again, he was already in this hospital bed.

Being in a hospital wasn't strange, but how could there be such a dilapidated hospital in the Magic City? A Putian-affiliated one?

Zhai Da stared blankly at his hands... the side of the first joint of his middle finger had a deformed callus from long-term pen-holding, and his nails were cut to an anti-human length due to regulations...

Without a doubt, these were the hands of a student.

Combined with the radio from just now... so, had he been reborn?

Preparing for the Olympics... 2007 or 2008?

In an instant, those memories that had long been swept into the trash heap by his weary soul, echoes that were once profound but gradually covered by calluses, all surged forth...

Dongyang County... Maofang Middle School... 2008... the year he took the college entrance exam?

He stared at his hands like that for a long, long time.

And then, joy surged from the depths of his soul.

Really back to... 2008?

The most sigh-inducing thing in life is "possible"... and what is countless times more precious than "possible" is only "if."

And rebirth gave him countless "ifs" to become a better version of himself.

Damn! If he had known he was going to be reborn, he should have spent all the money first! At the time, he was thinking about lying flat, so he only tremblingly spent five million, leaving the rest in the bank to earn interest...

The money was still there, but the person was gone! A huge loss!

After the two nurses left, for the moment, only he and the old man reading the newspaper were in the ward; the other two beds were empty.

After countless thoughts surged through his mind, Zhai Da finally couldn't help it and shouted, "Awesome!!"

It scared the old man so much that his hand shook, tearing the newspaper in two. He frowned and looked over.

Sure enough, games will ruin the younger generation.

Zhai Da now felt full of strength. This body...

It still has to be young to be energetic!

He wanted to be discharged immediately to see his familiar hometown, familiar streets, and... his mother, whom he hadn't seen in years and who had raised him.

Just as he thought of this, a middle-aged woman rushed in through the door, her eyes red, with a crying tone, clearly panicked.

"Xiao Da... are you okay! You scared Mom to death!"

Looking at that familiar and missed face, Zhai Da's nose felt a bit sour...

"Mom... I'm fine... I'm doing great!"

"I'm doing great"—these four words used to be regulars in his phone calls with his mother.

The child who secretly ate instant noodles when he was young was actually still secretly eating instant noodles when he grew up.

Unfortunately, ever since his mother passed away from breast cancer, he couldn't even find anyone to say "I'm doing great" to. From then on, no one in this world cared whether he was doing well or not.

This mother, who passed away with regrets before he won the lottery, who never enjoyed a day of blessing but worried about her son in the big city all day, was Zhai Da's greatest pain.

Zhai Da took the initiative to hug his mother, a gesture he rarely made in the past, and said with a smile:

"Mom, it's nothing, just a little physical discomfort. I don't know why the hospital is making such a fuss."

In fact, he didn't know why he woke up in the hospital either. In his memory, this didn't happen back then; he hadn't even been to a hospital much before he started working.

On the contrary, after he started working, the good physique his mother had raised him with eventually lost to the whip of life. After he started working, he ran to the hospital every few days, and even after winning the lottery, he hadn't recovered.

"By the way, Mom, how long until the college entrance exam? I have to hurry up and try to get a high score to make you proud!"

Yu Xiaoli's lips trembled for a long time before she said, "Son, I've heard about your situation. It doesn't matter. Mom can introduce you to work in the factory, and we can be in the same unit later."

Zhai Da had a bad premonition: "Why am I going to the factory... uh... how exactly did I faint? I can't quite remember."

"You... fainted in the exam room, during the last session..."

Zhai Da could only smile bitterly at this subtle timing...

Does this mean? Does this mean I won't even get into a junior college in this life?

In his previous life, he often mocked himself for working early and late to attend junior college. In this life, it's even more direct: three years of hard study for an electronics factory.

Then he heard the second half of Yu Xiaoli's sentence: "It doesn't matter if your second mock exam results aren't good; there are still three months left... Besides, the factory is always short of people!"

"Mom, can you not pause so long when you speak..."

And why can't you go three sentences without mentioning the factory? Did you tear the square root of two in half and carry it with you?

Retracted a disastrous opening.

Before he could digest this rollercoaster, a string of strange text appeared before Zhai Da's eyes.

"Life Equipment Synthesis System is online."

"Strong emotions, obsessions, and moods will linger on objects, giving them unique traits."

"This system can help the host discover and acquire [Equipment], strengthen abilities, and even synthesize higher-level rare equipment."

"Host's current equipment: None."

As the text gradually changed, before Zhai Da could understand, new content appeared.

"Unlock novice reward: One random personal item of the host is converted into [Equipment]."

"Anchoring... Converting..."

"Congratulations to the host, you have obtained a white new [Equipment]: Clown's Love Letter."

"[Clown's Love Letter]: A love letter written by a teenager under the influence of hormones, wrapped in embarrassment and delusions enough to make an adult want to shoot themselves. Equipment effect: Slightly increases sense of humor."

"Note: Child, there is no love in there, it's all humor!"