Chapter 1: Brave Assault on the Matchmaking Corner

Human joys and sorrows are never shared—just look at right now…

"Young man, with conditions like yours you shouldn't be here. A monthly salary of 3,500, and you actually emphasize it'll go up later? It's not that you lost at the starting line—you fell asleep on it."

"Good personality, can cook—those two points are fine, but they're only bonus items. I think the most important thing right now is you need to be able to feed yourself first."

"Ha, what am I seeing? You require the woman to earn over ten thousand a month, and she must have a car and a house. How dare you even write that down?"

Songhai City People's Park.

As the country's most famous matchmaking corner, it has never let a single matchmaker leave with a smile.

The moment you arrive, you don't even have to speak—just look at the aunties' eyes and you'll know your rank.

They only need one glance to see right through you, sharper than an X-ray.

At this moment, they are surrounding a fat man holding up a cardboard sign.

After a few of the aunties read what was on the sign, they looked ready to pounce and tear both the fat man and the sign to shreds.

But the fat man wasn't flustered at all, looking completely matter-of-fact as he rapped on the sign.

"Auntie, look clearly—if the woman's outstanding I can be the live-in son-in-law, and I don't require her to have kids. Where else would you find someone as easy to talk to as me?"

"Who are you trying to fool!" one auntie bellowed, hopping on her feet:

"No kids and uxorilocal marriage makes it pointless. I bet you want to eat the soft rice the hard way—your abacus beads are practically bouncing off my face."

The fat man grinned, two rows of pearly whites showing on his round, chubby face:

"I just don't want to treat my other half as a breeding tool—how is that eating soft rice the hard way? And my bride price is only 180,000, that's rock-bottom in Songhai…"

"Hold on!!" another auntie glared, eyes wide:

"The bride price of 180,000 written up there—you're not paying it?!"

"Of course I'm not paying it!" the fat man said, fully self-righteous:

"I'm already moving in, why would I pay a bride price? That 180,000 is what the woman gives me. I can bring my dowry over."

?????

Dowry?

What dowry?

He actually has a dowry!

The aunties exchanged glances, momentarily unable to process it.

Mainly because it was the first time they'd run into someone brazenly demanding uxorilocal marriage, and who'd flipped the bride price and dowry on their heads.

So, are you marrying her or is she marrying you?

"Um, what does your dowry include?"

The aunties were trying to find the last shred of humanity in the fat man:

"Savings or a car?"

The fat man raised his hand and slapped the sign—*smack smack smack*—each slap landing right on the number 3,500:

"Look at my salary, then look at my build—do you think I could possibly have savings or a car?"

"Then, what is this so-called dowry of yours?"

The aunties didn't care anymore; the only reason they kept pressing was pure curiosity.

The fat man broke into a smug grin and held up two fingers:

"One set of bedding, and one electric scooter—a Xinlei."

"Mm-hm."

The aunties nodded along, waiting for him to continue.

But after waiting a while and seeing the fat man had nothing more, the auntie closest to him couldn't help but ask:

"That's it?"

"What else do you want?" the fat man spread his hands:

"I'm barely out of my twenties—it's already impressive I haven't been living beyond my means."

"…"

After a brief silence, one of the aunties stared at the fat man and asked:

"What you wrote up there—handing over your salary after marriage—that means handing it over to you, right?"

"Correct." The fat man nodded solemnly:

"I'm moving in, wanting a little sense of security isn't too much to ask."

Finally, upon hearing that line, the aunties could take no more and exploded.

They surrounded the fat man and started firing off in all directions.

"One set of bedding? Not even a spare to change into—how do you have the nerve to say that out loud? Aren't you afraid of sleeping on it till it's worn smooth?"

"One electric scooter, and a Xinlei at that—oh, the brand, how proud you must be, you shameless thing. Got a flashlight to go with your home appliances too?"

"If you don't have a mirror, don't you at least have your own pee? Look at that pig-face of yours, and you still want to find someone with good conditions—trying to be Marshal Tianpeng chasing after Chang'e the Moon Fairy? Dream on!"

Seeing the aunties getting more and more outrageous, the fat man fired back without backing down:

"Maybe someone actually likes my type!"

"Likes what about you!" the aunties completely let themselves go:

"These days who can't afford pork? Just looking at you makes me sick of it."

The aunties figured it out—today they had to teach this fat man a lesson. Manners?

What are manners? Don't need them today.

Let's feel good first—this is too damn infuriating!

"What pork, what pork—why so nasty with the mouth."

Just as Fatty was about to counterattack, a voice suddenly came through the miniature earpiece in his ear:

"Yu Dazhang, stop talking nonsense. The suspect has appeared, at your left, about twenty meters away, moving toward you. There is a slight deviation from the intelligence; three people are coming."

They call this a slight deviation?

Yu Dazhang couldn't help but want to roll his eyes.

The intelligence said there was only one suspect, but the number had tripled.

One against three?

It's not impossible. Once they get close, I'll just grab an old auntie and throw her at them; that will surely intimidate the three suspects.

Then take them all down at once!

!. Read

The plan was perfect, but reality simply wouldn't allow it~

No old auntie could withstand this tactical maneuver.

Moreover, it wouldn't be allowed on moral grounds.

Throwing old aunties like shurikens at the matchmaking corner~

After the case is over, how would I write the report?

A sudden inspiration, a casual throw... If the leaders saw that, they'd flip the table.

It wasn't that Yu Dazhang was overthinking; besides these few old aunties, there were truly no other usable weapons in sight.

If it were one-on-one, Yu Dazhang was confident he could take them down easily.

One against two, well, with a surprise attack, he could barely manage it.

Three people, however, was a no-go.

Once the fight started, as the first two were attacked, the third would definitely react.

Seeing the three getting closer and closer, Yu Dazhang gritted his teeth and made a quick decision in his heart.

Don't miss the opportunity; take down two first.

I hope the leaders have other deployments.

Amidst the scolding of the old aunties, Yu Dazhang lowered his head, appearing deeply aggrieved by the scolding, but in reality, he was looking at the ground to his front-left.

Until a pair of men's sneakers appeared in his line of sight, Yu Dazhang raised his head and simultaneously lunged forward with a sudden burst of speed.

The timing was spot on; this lunge landed him right in front of the youth at the very front.

Yu Dazhang had intended to deliver a fierce whip kick, but his body size was a limitation; his leg only rose to the level of the other's knee.

With no choice, he had to顺势 kick the youth's shin bone.

"Bang!"

The youth, caught off guard by this sudden kick, stumbled and fell to the ground.

Yu Dazhang didn't bother with him anymore; he knew clearly in his heart that once this kick landed, the other's entire leg would be unable to move, and he wouldn't even be able to crawl.

The pain alone would be enough for him.

This was because Yu Dazhang had deliberately held back his strength; if he had gone all out, the youth would definitely have a fractured shin.

Before the youth could even scream, Yu Dazhang had already pounced on another person.

That person was also quick to react; facing Yu Dazhang's swinging fist, he instinctively extended his arm to block, but was knocked sideways by the immense force.

Before he could get up, he suddenly felt a shadow drifting down from above.

Is it getting cloudy?

Looking up, he saw a huge Fatty blocking out the sky and falling onto him.

A dull thud; that person couldn't even see a corner of his clothes anymore.

Just as Yu Dazhang had expected, the third person indeed reacted and turned to run.

Seeing the colleagues running toward him, Yu Dazhang felt his vision go black with anger.

These rookies!

Both of these guys have been subdued; what are you doing here?

To finish them off?

"Chase!"

Yu Dazhang shouted at the few rookies running over, then gritted his teeth, got up, and chased in the direction of the fleeing man.

Next came the event Yu Dazhang was least good at... running.

The old aunties watched the Fatty who had run off in a blur, then looked at the two lying on the ground.

One was clutching his calf and wailing; the other was rolling his eyes and spitting foam...

What's going on?

This Fatty has gone mad!

Did we scold him into madness?!

(End of Chapter)