Chapter 1

Human joys and sorrows do not connect; for example, right now…

“Kid, your conditions aren’t suited for this place—you make 3,500 a month and still insist your salary will rise? You’re not losing at the starting line; you’re asleep on it.”

“Good personality and cooking skills? Those are decent, but only bonus points. Right now, the most important thing is you need to support yourself first.”

“Ha, what do I see? You demand the woman earn over 10,000 a month and own a car and house? How dare you write that down?”

Songhai City People’s Park.

As the nation’s most famous matchmaking corner, it has never let a single matchmaking seeker leave smiling.

Once you arrive here, you don’t need to speak—just look at the old aunts’ eyes and you’ll know your rank.

A single glance from them can pierce through your soul, more powerful than an X-ray.

Right now, they’re surrounding a fat man holding a signboard.

Several old aunts, after reading the content on the signboard, were ready to pounce and tear the man and his sign into pieces.

But the fat man wasn’t fazed—he looked perfectly at ease. He tapped the signboard.

“Auntie, read carefully: if the woman is outstanding, I’ll become a live-in son-in-law—and I don’t even require her to have children. Where else will you find someone as reasonable as me?”

“Who are you trying to fool?!” one old aunt shouted, stomping her foot.

“If you don’t have kids, being a live-in son-in-law makes no sense. I can tell you’re trying to mooch off her—your abacus beads are practically flying into my face.”

The fat man grinned, revealing two rows of white teeth on his round face.

“I just don’t want to treat my partner as a childbearing tool—how is that mooching? And my bride price is only 180,000—that’s the floor price in Songhai…”

“Wait a minute!!” another old aunt glared, eyes bulging.

“The bride price listed here isn’t you paying?!”

“Of course not me paying!” the fat man replied confidently.

“I’m moving in—why should I pay bride price? The 180,000 is what she gives me—I’ll bring the dowry over.”

????

Dowry?

What dowry?

He has a dowry?!

The old aunts exchanged glances, momentarily stunned.

Mainly because they’d never encountered someone so brazenly demanding to be a live-in son-in-law—and who flipped bride price and dowry around.

So, are you marrying or being married into?

“Um… what exactly is your dowry?”

The old aunts tried to find a shred of humanity left in the fat man.

“Savings? Or a car?”

The fat man raised his hand and slapped the signboard hard—“thwack, thwack”—each smack landing squarely on the “3,500” figure.

“Look at my salary, then look at my build—do you really think I have savings or a car?”

“Then, what exactly is this dowry of yours?”

The old aunts no longer cared—they kept asking purely out of morbid curiosity.

The fat man grinned triumphantly and held up two fingers.

“One quilt, and an electric scooter—Xinlei brand.”

“Mm-hmm.”

The old aunts nodded, waiting for him to continue.

But after a moment, seeing he had nothing more to say, the nearest aunt couldn’t help asking:

“That’s it?”

“What else?” the fat man shrugged. “I’m barely twenty—I haven’t even splurged yet.”

I’m barely in my twenties; not spending ahead is already good enough.

After a brief silence, one aunt stared at the fat man.

“You wrote here that your salary after marriage goes to your wife—does that mean you’re handing it over to yourself?”

“Exactly.” The fat man nodded solemnly.

“I’m moving in—I just want a little security, is that too much?”

Finally, hearing this, the old aunts snapped.

They surrounded him, shouting all at once.

“One quilt? You don’t even have a spare set—how do you have the nerve to say that? Don’t you fear sleeping in a moldy mess?”

“An electric scooter? Xinlei brand? You’re proud of that? Shameless—do you also have a flashlight as your household appliance?”

“You don’t have a mirror? Or a toilet? Look at yourself—you’re a pig! You think you can find a woman with good conditions? Are you trying to court the Moon Goddess like Tianpeng Yuan Shuai ? Dream on!”

Seeing the old aunts grow increasingly harsh, the fat man retorted defiantly:

“Maybe someone actually likes me this way!”

“What do you even mean by ‘like you’?!” the old aunts lost all restraint.

“These days, who can’t afford pork? I get sick just seeing you.”

The old aunts gave up. Today, they had to teach this fat man a lesson. Politeness?

Politeness was out the window today.

First, vent their rage—it was too infuriating!

“What pork? What pork? Why talk so cruelly?”

Just as the fat man was about to retort, his earpiece crackled:

“Yu Dazhang, stop joking. Suspect spotted—your left, about twenty meters away, moving toward you. Slight deviation from intel: three people, not one.”

Yu Dazhang, stop joking—the suspect is appearing to your left, about twenty meters away, moving toward you, slightly off from the intel: it’s three people.

Yu Dazhang almost rolled his eyes.

The intel said one suspect—now it was tripled.

One against three?

Not impossible. When they got close, he could grab any old aunt and hurl her at them—they’d be stunned.

It’s not impossible—wait until they get closer, grab any old lady and throw her at them; it’ll definitely shock the three suspects.

Perfect plan.

But reality didn’t allow it.

No old aunt could survive that maneuver.

Morally, it was also unacceptable.

Throwing old aunts like weapons in a matchmaking corner?

After the case ended, how would he write the report?

“Instinctively grabbed and tossed…”—his superior would flip the table.

It wasn’t Yu Dazhang’s imagination—aside from these old aunts, there were no other weapons in sight.

If it were one-on-one, Yu Dazhang was confident he could handle it easily.

Two? A surprise attack might work.

Three? No way.

Once he moved, the first two would be hit—but the third would react instantly.

Watching the three draw closer, Yu Dazhang gritted his teeth and made a swift decision.

Opportunity won’t wait—take down two first.

Hope his superior had other plans.

Amid the old aunts’ scolding, Yu Dazhang lowered his head, feigning wounded submission, while actually scanning the ground ahead.

When a pair of men’s athletic shoes entered his view, he lifted his head and lunged forward.

Perfect timing—he slammed straight into the frontmost youth.

Yu Dazhang intended a sharp roundhouse kick, but his build limited him—he could only raise his leg to the youth’s knee.

He settled for a kick to the shin.

With no other choice, he kicked the youth’s shinbone Shunshi .

The youth stumbled and collapsed from the sudden blow.

Yu Dazhang didn’t look back—he knew if the kick landed, the leg was useless. Even crawling would be impossible.

Just the pain alone would cripple him.

He’d even held back—full force would’ve broken the shin.

Before the youth could scream, Yu Dazhang lunged at the second man.

The man reacted quickly—raised his arm instinctively to block Yu Dazhang’s punch—but the force slammed him sideways.

Before he could rise, a shadow loomed overhead.

Was it getting cloudy?

He looked up—only to see a massive fat man plummeting down on him.

A muffled thump—he vanished beneath the weight.

As Yu Dazhang expected, the third suspect reacted and turned to flee.

As Yu Dazhang had anticipated, the third person finally realized what was happening and turned to run.

Looking at his colleague sprinting toward him, Yu Dazhang’s anger made his vision go black.

These rookies!

Both of them are already subdued—what are you here for?

To finish them off?

“After him!”

Yu Dazhang shouted at the approaching rookies, then gritted his teeth and rose to his feet, chasing after the fleeing man.

Next came Yu Dazhang’s least skilled event… running.

The old ladies watched the fat man vanish in a blur, then looked down at the two men lying on the ground.

One clutched his calf and screamed in pain; the other rolled his eyes and spat foam…

What happened?

That fat man’s gone mad!

Did we drive him mad?!

(End of Chapter)