Chapter 364: This Fatty's Mouth Is Way Too Sharp

"Who do you think you're looking down on…" Yu Dazhang felt somewhat offended.

"This is my badge."

Yu Dazhang took out his badge and held it out toward her:

"Look at the police emblem on it — the three-dimensional feel is so strong, the colors are bright, and the embossing is clear and deep."

"If it were fake, it would look rough, the colors would be dull, and the embossing would be shallow and blurry."

While speaking, he took a step forward, as if wanting her to see it more clearly.

Sure enough, the woman was drawn in, her gaze falling on the badge in Yu Dazhang's hand.

"Now look at the font — isn't it the same as the font on an ID card? And the strokes are a deep, rich color."

Seeing that she was looking at the badge in his hand, Yu Dazhang continued his pitch:

"If it were fake, not only would the font be wrong, the color would be uneven too."

"Now look at the anti-counterfeiting technology…"

As he said this, he took two more steps forward, each one very slow, his feet making no sound as they landed.

"The background pattern is the Great Wall and mountains. Let me put it this way — a fake badge could never replicate this background pattern."

"There are also hidden micro-print characters on it, also for anti-counterfeiting…"

Every word Yu Dazhang said drew the woman's attention, keeping her eyes fixed on the badge in his hand.

Ever since he had taken out the badge, he had been talking nonstop. It seemed like a lot of words, but in reality only three seconds had passed.

In those three seconds, however, he had already taken four steps forward.

"Under a UV light, the badge will show the words 'chinapolice'."

"And the completeness of the information…"

Yu Dazhang's mouth never stopped, and his feet never rested either.

But just as he took his fifth step, the woman's gaze suddenly left the badge and lifted to look at him.

As if she was checking whether the photo matched the person.

But that single glance made her face turn pale with shock.

"H-how did you walk over here? Back up!!"

She shouted, her body tilting to the side as if she might lose her footing and fall the next moment.

"Calm down, calm down." Yu Dazhang hurriedly waved his hand:

"I just wanted you to see it more clearly, okay? I'll back up, alright?"

With no choice, he retreated again.

Just now, the distance between him and the woman was only a little over three meters. If he had gotten any closer, he could have lunged and grabbed her.

What a pity — just one step short.

After Yu Dazhang retreated, all the officers, including Qi Fang, were staring at him with strange looks.

Was this fatty in the fake-ID business before he became a cop?

That whole pitch just now was way too smooth.

Are there really that many subtleties to a badge?

Some officers even felt like pulling out their own badges right then to test their authenticity using the fatty's method.

Yu Dazhang didn't notice the looks from the people around him — his full attention was on the woman.

Seeing that she had calmed down, Yu Dazhang turned to look at Qi Fang.

As their eyes met, he gave him a look.

He was asking whether fire and rescue and emergency services had been called.

Qi Fang immediately understood and gave a slight nod.

Then there was no problem… Yu Dazhang felt considerably relieved.

Now all he had to do was keep her talking.

Once fire and rescue and emergency services arrived on scene, even if she really wanted to jump, it would be pointless.

They'd set up an air cushion downstairs — jump all you want, you won't die anyway, at worst a soft tissue contusion.

"Have you thought about what will happen after you jump?" Yu Dazhang asked, looking at the woman opposite him.

The woman didn't answer, but watched him warily.

Just now she had almost let this fatty get close. Good thing she reacted in time — otherwise she'd probably already be caught by now.

She realized that the things this fatty said were extremely enticing.

Without realizing it, her attention had been drawn away.

"Let me tell you."

Seeing that she wasn't talking, Yu Dazhang simply started giving her a science lesson:

"During your fall, the force of gravity will accelerate your blood circulation. Combined with the extreme psychological panic, you'll experience a brief myocardial ischemia."

"So mid-air you'll feel chest pain, and as you accelerate, the pain will intensify."

Really or fake? Now not only the woman, but even the officers on scene showed curious expressions.

He even knows this stuff?

When other people try to talk someone out of jumping, they talk about how beautiful the world is, how heartbroken their parents would be.

But this fatty always manages to bring up something different.

A moment ago he was selling fake IDs.

And now, just like that, he's giving a lesson on basic medical knowledge.

What surprised them most was that this fatty actually sounded pretty convincing.

"During the fall, you'll instinctively stretch your legs out to meet the ground—it's a reflex. It looks like it might cushion the impact, but it's completely useless."

As Yu Dazhang spoke, he jumped once on the spot.

He meant to give a vivid demonstration, but his weight got in the way. Even with all his effort, he barely left the ground—and was less than five centimeters off the floor.

From the woman's side, all she saw was the fat man stretching his waist; she couldn't tell at all that he'd jumped.

Qi Fang and the others turned their faces away, unable to bear watching.

A few officers even pinched their thighs hard.

"Scared yet?"

Seeing the woman's face grow uglier and uglier, Yu Dazhang said, somewhat smugly:

"This is only the beginning. Once you fall, you'll be done for—loss of bladder and bowel control is a certainty."

"Think about the smell. No matter how pretty you are, it won't matter—who could stand that stench?"

This was a piece of advice with a stench to it… the people present could barely stand listening anymore.

The woman, meanwhile, stared at Yu Dazhang with icy eyes, clearly disgusted as well.

"Smack!"

Yu Dazhang clapped his hands hard, then smiled at the woman:

"The filling's already spilling out."

Even Qi Fang, standing right beside him, nearly couldn't hold it in.

That mouth was vicious.

A man who usually seemed so proper, yet had such a twisted sense of humor.

Who on earth describes someone jumping off a building like that?

The woman opposite, however, only frowned slightly and still said nothing.

"And that's not even the worst part."

Yu Dazhang went on:

"The pain from the fractures is the most unbearable. You have to understand, that agony is like being torn apart inside your body—every single breath is torment."

"First, both legs break—especially the tibia and femur. The broken bones will burst through muscle and skin, drilling out from the inside."

After this speech, the woman opposite finally reacted.

She turned her head to glance at the ground below, then instinctively shuffled half a step inward, a little farther from the building's edge, as if afraid she might fall.

No helping it—Yu Dazhang's description had put pictures in her head.

She even felt her legs going weak now.

It's working!

The others noticed her movement too, and all heaved a sigh of relief in unison.

They knew perfectly well that grabbing her directly would be far too difficult, so all they could do now was stall for time.

"Ever heard of a compression fracture of the spine?"

Yu Dazhang pressed on without so much as a pause, speaking in one smooth flow:

"If you hit that jackpot, the rest of your life is nothing but suffering."

"Treating a fracture like this takes forever, usually leaves you in pain for life, and often leads to long-term paralysis."

"And the pelvis—at this height, it'd have to shatter to pieces…"

He was in full flow when, unexpectedly, the woman opposite suddenly roared:

"Shut up! Don't say another word!"

(End of chapter)