Chapter 9: Immortality

Once there was a man named Changsheng whose family was well-off, and he was obsessed with the art of alchemy for immortality. He often invited famous Daoist priests from everywhere to refine immortal pills for him, hoping that by consuming them, he could attain immortality and ascend to heaven in broad daylight. He had lost count of how many famous priests he had invited and how many so-called "Golden Pills" he had consumed, yet his body grew worse with each passing day. In the end, he was riddled with a hundred illnesses and bedridden. Still, he refused to give up his dream of immortality, continuing to consume the Golden Pills as if they were treasures. Even though his family tried to advise him, it was to no avail. Finally, he became so ill that he had only one breath left, often lying on his sickbed alone and talking nonsense.

"Where am I?"

Changsheng looked around in confusion, only to see clouds and mist swirling beneath his feet and brilliant rosy clouds ahead. A grand gate stood imposingly before his eyes, with the three large characters "Nantianmen" on it. On both sides of the gate stood two burly men clad in armor, like two statues.

"I succeeded! I ascended! I can live forever! Hahahaha!" Looking at the gate before him, Changsheng laughed almost maniacally, rolling in the clouds and mist, making faces at the guards of Nantianmen, and humming an unknown tune, clearly excited to the extreme. Suddenly, he saw an old man flash out from the Heavenly Gate, come before Changsheng, and scold, "Who is making a racket here?"

Changsheng bowed and said, "Old Immortal, I have just ascended to the Heavenly Realm. I do not know where I should go to report, so I ask the Old Immortal to please guide me."

The old man said, "Just keep walking in the direction directly facing the Heavenly Gate; there is a registration office there. You must first register your name with Jixing Xingguan before you can move about freely in the Heavenly Realm."

Changsheng thanked the old man and trotted all the way to find that Jixing Xingguan. Before long, he indeed saw a little old man wearing a black gauze cap, lying on a stool with one leg crossed over the other, dozing off, with a register on the desk in front of him. Changsheng went to the old man's ear and whispered, "Old Immortal, wake up! I am here to register!"

That Jixing Xingguan continued to snore loudly, as if he had heard nothing at all.

Changsheng raised his voice and called out again, "Old Immortal, wake up! This junior is here to register!"

Still to no avail...

Changsheng had no choice but to shout into the old man's ear, "Old Immortal, wake up! This junior Changsheng has come to register!"

Only then did Jixing Xingguan slowly open his eyes, mumbling in his mouth, "Who is this? Disturbing this old man's beautiful dream."

Changsheng said, "I am truly sorry to have disturbed your good dream. This junior is a minor immortal who has just ascended and has come specifically to have you register me."

Jixing Xingguan said, "Oh, it has been a long time since I encountered someone newly ascended to the Heavenly Realm. It seems your heart for seeking the Dao is truly sincere. Nowadays, it is not easy to ascend to become an immortal and attain immortality. Young man, you are remarkable!"

Hearing the praise of Jixing Xingguan, Changsheng was very happy and replied, "Thank you for your praise, Senior. I dare not say anything else, but when it comes to this heart for seeking the Dao, this junior dares to say it is as firm as a rock! Nothing can shake my determination to attain immortality."

Jixing Xingguan smiled and nodded, saying, "Changsheng, is it? What position do you wish to hold in the Heavenly Realm?"

Changsheng was secretly delighted, not expecting to be granted an official position in the Heavenly Realm so soon. He had long heard people talk about the Four Heavenly Kings, the God of Wealth, the Star of Longevity, and the like in the Heavenly Realm, and he never expected that one day he, too, could be like them. Outwardly, however, he said modestly, "This junior is a newcomer and does not yet know what positions exist in the Heavenly Realm. I ask Senior to please give me some pointers."

"Easy, easy! Let me see for you." Jixing Xingguan flipped open the register on the desk, glanced at it, and said, "At Wangmu Niangniang's place, there is a vacancy for a cat servant to tend to the imperial cat; at Taishang Laojun's place, there is a vacancy for a Daoist boy to tend the fire; the Yumajian needs a groom to sweep up horse manure; and there is also..."

Upon hearing this, Changsheng hurriedly interrupted, "Stop, stop, stop! Old Senior, why are these all menial tasks for servants? Isn't there any decent official position? Like Marshal Tianpeng or Wenqu Xingjun?"

Hearing this, Jixing Xingguan widened his eyes, showing an expression of disbelief, and asked Changsheng, "What did you just say? You want to be Marshal Tianpeng? Wenqu Xingjun?"

Changsheng smiled embarrassedly and said, "Uh... this minor immortal does indeed have that intention."

Jixing Xingguan was stunned for a moment, then clutched his stomach and laughed out loud, saying, "Where would such a position for a righteous god fall to a minor immortal like you who has just arrived? Do not joke with me; just choose one from the tasks I mentioned to you earlier."

Changsheng sighed inwardly, not expecting that even in this Heavenly Realm, one had to rely on seniority. Oh well, no matter what, he was already immortal, which was much better than being a mortal, so he asked, "I wonder which of the tasks you mentioned earlier—cat servant, Daoist boy, groom, etc. —is better?"

Jixing Xingguan said, "I think being a cat servant is better, after all, you are working by Wangmu Niangniang's side. If you raise the cat well and coax Wangmu into being happy, it is not impossible that she might reward you with an official position."

Hearing this, Changsheng slapped his thigh and said, "Good, I will be a cat servant!"

Changsheng registered with Jixing Xingguan, received his gear, and went to Yaochi to become a cat servant. The fairy who served Wangmu's daily life repeatedly urged him, "This imperial cat is precious; you must not make any mistakes. If it gets thin, the feeling of it in Wangmu's arms will not be good, and that will be a punishable offense. Furthermore, you must not let it get sick, and you must not let it get lost..."

Changsheng said impatiently, "I know, I know! It is just raising a small cat, what is so difficult about it?"

And so, Changsheng spent his days and nights with the imperial cat. Strange to say, as soon as the cat was in Wangmu's arms, it immediately became obedient and gentle, looking just like a pet. But once it was alone with them, the servants, it became irritable and temperamental. If the food was not fed to its mouth by hand, it would certainly refuse to eat. It was even more restless when bathing, always getting water all over the floor. It was even more difficult when clipping its nails; every time, he was left covered in scratches. And that fellow, every time it finished defecating, would stare at you with a pair of bright eyes, then turn its head to gesture behind it, as if ordering you that it was time to clean up.

Changsheng could not help but sigh inwardly, "I have only heard of dogs acting fierce on the strength of their masters, but this is the first time I have seen a cat acting fierce on the strength of its master. My life is truly bitter; how did I choose such a job?"

After a month, the imperial cat had grown fatter under his care, while Changsheng, on the contrary, had visibly grown haggard. Who would have thought that Wangmu Niangniang would be furious because of this, actually blaming him for making the cat too fat and too heavy to hold in her arms. Just because of this trivial matter, she had him given twenty strokes. Poor Changsheng lay on the bed, complaining, "Fairy sister, you only told me not to let it get thin, but you didn't say it wouldn't do if it got too fat! Ouch, I cannot do this bitter job anymore!"

Changsheng limped to Jixing Xingguan and begged bitterly, "Senior, please have pity on me. I beg you to change my job; I really cannot do this cat servant work."

Seeing him looking so pitiful, Jixing Xingguan could not bear it and said, "Alright, alright, how about you go to Taishang Laojun's place to tend the fire instead?"

Changsheng hurriedly said, "Good, good, good! Tending the fire is good! I will go tend the fire right now!"

And so, Changsheng changed to tending the fire at Taishang Laojun's place. The boy watching the alchemy furnace instructed him, "You must not underestimate this fire-tending; there is great learning in it. When to fan quickly, when to fan slowly, when to use great force, when to use small force—you cannot be the least bit careless." As the boy spoke, he demonstrated it for him. He saw the boy holding a precious fan, his feet stepping in the Eight Trigrams, moving as if dancing with the wind; in a smooth and flowing manner, he displayed a set of fanning techniques to the fullest, and the fire beneath the furnace swayed and danced along with the fragrant breeze fanned out by the boy's precious fan. Changsheng could not help but exclaim, "My goodness, I never thought that tending a fire could be played with such flair!"

After the boy finished the demonstration, he handed the fan to Changsheng and said, "How about it, did you see clearly? You try it!"

Changsheng could not help but have cold sweat dripping from his forehead. Recalling the boy's movements just now, it was even more difficult than Yang Guifei's Rainbow Feather Garment Dance; how could he remember it all in one go? He could only say timidly, "This one is dull-witted; could I trouble the immortal boy to demonstrate it for me one more time..."

Just like that, Changsheng practiced how to fan the fire with the immortal boy every day, often tired to the point of aching back and pain, unable to sleep at night. In the end, he still could not hold on and found Jixing Xingguan again to cry out his grievances, "Senior, please forgive this junior for coming to trouble you again. This fire-tending job is not as simple as I imagined. Senior, please see if you can change it for me again?"

Jixing Xingguan sighed helplessly, "Alright, alright! Go to the Yumajian and be a groom!"

Changsheng hurriedly said, "Good! Good! Thank you, Senior, for your repeated help; this junior is deeply grateful."

And so, Changsheng went to the Imperial Horse Stables and began the work of cleaning up horse manure. As soon as he arrived at the stables, he was dumbfounded. You ask how many heavenly horses there are in the Heavenly Realm? Hualiu, Qiji, Lu'er, Xianli; Longmei, Ziyan, Xieyi, Xunshuang; Juti, Yinkai, Kuangnai, Feihuang; Taotu, Fanyu, Chitu, Chaoguang; Yuhui, Mijin, Tengwu, Shenghuang; Zhuifeng, Juedi, Feifan, Benxiao; Yipiao, Chidian, Tongjue, Fuyun; Conglong, Hula, Juechen, Zilin; the Four Extremes, the Dayuan, the Eight Steeds, the Nine Excellences, the thousand-mile-distancing-the-herd—there were over a thousand in total.

And ask how many grooms there were? There was only him! Changsheng looked up to the sky and sighed, "How can I alone serve these thousand horses? The excrement these horses discharge in one day is enough to form a small mountain; it would be more than enough to bury myself..."

"Senior, forgive this junior for coming to disturb you again..."

"Stop! Stop! Stop! Why are you here again? This time I have no way either. I have already made an exception for you twice; this time, no matter what, I cannot change it again!" Jixing Xingguan turned his back, unwilling to pay any more attention to Changsheng.

Changsheng begged bitterly, "Senior, there is truly not a single easy job in this Heavenly Realm. If one wants to stay in the Heavenly Realm, must one find a job to do?"

Jixing Xingguan said, "This, actually, it is not that you must find a job. It is just that if you do not have an official position, you cannot enter the Tianting; you can only move about outside the Four Heavenly Kings' gates, just like me."

Upon hearing this, Changsheng seemed to have grabbed the last straw, and said happily, "Why didn't you say so earlier, Senior? It is just not being able to enter and exit the Tianting freely, so what of it? I actually think that staying here with you is quite good."

Jixing Xingguan said, "Are you sure? You won't regret it this time?"

Changsheng said, "Senior, rest assured, this time I will absolutely not go back on my word!"

And so, Changsheng accompanied Jixing Xingguan, keeping him company in this desolate place outside the Nantianmen.

Changsheng asked Jixing Xingguan, "Senior, I wonder what you usually do?"

Jixing Xingguan said, "I have no other hobbies; I just love to dream."

Changsheng said, "Dream? Forgive this junior for being dull, but I have never heard of anyone who just likes to dream every day. Is there nothing else?"

Jixing Xingguan said, "How wonderful dreaming is; there is everything in a dream. Look around here, there is nothing but clouds and mist; what else can one do if one does not dream?"

Changsheng looked up and only then realized that the surroundings were indeed terrifyingly quiet; apart from the clouds and mist filling the sky, he could not see anything else. A feeling of foreboding instantly shrouded his heart.

"Has Senior never thought of doing something more meaningful?" Changsheng asked, his face pale with terror.

"I have. In the past, I always thought about doing something more meaningful. But ever since I ascended to become an immortal and attained immortality, I have become idle. I always think I can do it later, putting it off from today to tomorrow, and from tomorrow to the day after, and slowly I do not want to do anything at all. Furthermore, everything will eventually leave you, and those things that I previously thought were very meaningful have, instead, become meaningless after I obtained infinite lifespan."

Changsheng sat down on the ground dejectedly, looking at the endless, pervasive clouds and mist all around, feeling only endless loneliness and desolation...

"Changsheng, why don't you sleep? Apart from sleeping here, there is really nothing else to do! Let me tell you, the world in dreams is wonderful; it has everything!" As Jixing Xingguan spoke, he was about to lie down and sleep.

Changsheng said, "I have insomnia; I cannot sleep..."

Day after day passed like this, and Changsheng was ultimately unable to endure such a tedious life, shouting, "Where is this immortality? This is simply a life worse than death! Senior, tell me, how can I return to the mortal world? I cannot stay in this hellish place any longer!"

Jixing Xingguan said, "If you dive headfirst from these clouds and jump down with all your might, you will be able to go back. But you had better think it through; if you go back, you won't be able to come back up!"

Changsheng immediately did a handstand, dove headfirst into the clouds below with all his might, and shouted while doing so, "Only a ghost would want to come to this place again!" Saying this, he fell from the cloud layer and disappeared without a trace...

Jixing Xingguan sighed helplessly, "Young people these days just lack perseverance; they go back on their word as soon as they say it. Sigh, it is still better in a dream; in a dream, there is everything..."

(End of this chapter)