Chapter 137

The next day, the sky was faintly bright.

Outside the incense hall, rain dripped from the eaves, and the moss-spotted temple walls appeared and disappeared in the thin mist.

Sun Erzhuang had not eaten a single grain of rice since he went to request a coffin for Granny Guanhu and left the city yesterday.

Xu Qing could not just watch a client starve to death, so he took some of the hard-boiled eggs Huang Lao had sent and gave them to the fatty to eat.

However, although this fatty was fat, he was not the type who liked to eat alone.

Xu Qing had not yet broken through to the Corpse-Crouching realm and was not used to eating such cooked food; after he waved his hand to refuse the egg Sun Erzhuang had peeled for him, Sun Erzhuang handed the peeled egg to Guan Dazhuang instead.

"Big Brother is injured and his body is weak; he cannot go without a meal."

Guan Dazhuang could not resist his brother's insistence, so he and Sun Erzhuang finished off the dozens of hard-boiled eggs between them.

Xu Qing watched the two of them finish their breakfast with a smile, then asked, "Erzhuang, where is the coffin you bought for your mother when you entered the city yesterday?"

Sun Erzhuang immediately came to his senses upon hearing this, and he said with some self-reproach, "Yesterday, I tied the donkey outside the temple, which caused it to lose its life to that beast. Now, I don't know where the coffin and the donkey cart have been lost to."

"Don't worry, sir, allow me to go out and search for them."

At present, the coffin holding Granny Guanhu's body was just a dilapidated one that the righteous cemetery had placed in the Mountain Lord Temple, which had held many corpses before.

If she were to be buried, one definitely could not use such a coffin for the interment.

Whether the dead minded or not was secondary; the key was that the living would easily feel uneasy in their hearts.

If one day the family members suddenly remembered that their own relative was buried in a dilapidated coffin, could their mood possibly be good?

This was also the reason why second-hand coffins were rare.

Of course, the most important reason was that the imperial court had explicit regulations: digging up graves and robbing tombs was strictly prohibited!

Where would second-hand coffins come from? If someone buried a corpse, and you followed behind with a shovel to dig up the fresh grave, wouldn't you have a second-hand coffin to sell?

This matter damaged one's yin virtue, and it was also against the law!

Besides that, there were the various constraints of funeral etiquette.

The deceased must be dressed in new makeup and new clothes, and the coffin used for the interment must naturally be brand new.

Sun Erzhuang stood up and was about to go outside the temple to look for the donkey cart and coffin when the hanging rope on his belt suddenly bounced onto the ground.

Xu Qing's Yin pupils swept over it; the hanging rope was wrapped in thick Yin-evil energy, and a faint shadow of a black-and-white-faced donkey could be seen.

That was a donkey ghost, and this hanging rope was the rope that had tied the donkey when it was alive.

Now, although the donkey was dead, it had turned into a donkey ghost and possessed the donkey rope.

A donkey is a soul-snatching ghost, which is why the donkey rope had turned into a hanging rope.

However, not all donkeys turn into donkey ghosts after death; there is a saying about this.

A donkey works hard and complains little during its life; with such a temperament, it is difficult for resentment to fester after death and turn into a donkey ghost. Only those donkeys that have obsessions in their hearts or suffer great pain and die an unnatural death have a chance to become donkey ghosts.

Looking at the dark red bloodstains on the donkey rope, Xu Qing knew that this donkey must have suffered inhuman treatment before it died.

The donkey rope clearly knew where the donkey cart and coffin were; it walked diligently in front, looking just like a loyal dog that had been raised well, leading the way for its master.

The group followed the donkey rope outside the temple, and the wet weeds soaked Sun Erzhuang's pant legs.

After walking less than two miles, they arrived in front of a low cliff. Fatty Sun walked along the edge of the cliff with uneven steps. Seeing this, Guan Dazhuang let out a low roar, and by the time Sun Erzhuang turned his head, a large, variegated tiger had appeared beside him.

The tiger spoke in human language: "Erzhuang, I will carry you down."

Xu Qing looked at the majestic tiger before him, and his eyes could not help but light up.

This thing was impressive!

The tiger roars in the mountains and forests, the fierce tiger leaps over the stream.

Xu Qing followed and jumped down the low cliff.

Below the cliff, the stream gurgled. The five-foot-long donkey rope wandered along the stream, and when it passed a stone beach, a faint smell of blood drifted into their nostrils.

Xu Qing was a zombie and was exceptionally sensitive to the smell of blood; Guan Dazhuang, as the Mountain Tiger Lord, also smelled the strange odor in the air.

Finally, after walking a few dozen steps, mottled bloodstains appeared on the stone beach.

After a night of wind and rain, the bloodstains on the stone beach had not been washed away, from which one could imagine what a cruel scene it had been originally.

"Dead bones are bitter—dead bones are bitter—"

In the empty valley of the mountain cliff, the unique call of a spotted dove echoed.

Sun Erzhuang held his breath, and when he saw a donkey skin that had been completely peeled off, the fatty's face turned deathly pale in an instant.

Xu Qing looked past the donkey skin and saw a mass of bloody, mangled flesh not far away, stuck to the stone beach.

The donkey rope circled its own skin a few times, then wandered to its own bloody, mangled body, letting out a mournful cry.

"Are you tigers all this fierce when hunting?" Xu Qing clicked his tongue.

Beside him, Guan Dazhuang immediately denied it: "I am not like it. I never torture my prey, and I would never peel off its skin while it is still alive. This is not the way of the righteous path."

Xu Qing looked at Guan Dazhuang in surprise.

I have to say, this tiger's values were quite upright.

Searching along the stone beach, it didn't take long for Guan Dazhuang to find the donkey cart and coffin that had fallen onto the mountain rocks.

From a cliff of over ten zhang, the donkey cart had long since fallen to pieces, and even the coffin had broken into two halves.

Looking at the coffin lid that had fallen to the side, there were even glaring marks from tiger claws.

It seemed that after Guan Xiaohu had eaten his fill of donkey meat, he had used this coffin lid as a scratching post to sharpen his claws.

"I can actually repair this coffin."

Xu Qing looked sideways at Sun Erzhuang and asked, "Erzhuang, do you think your donkey needs to be interred and buried? I happen to have a corpse-stitching business here. If you are interested, I can help you tidy up the donkey's appearance, stitch the skin and flesh back together, and let it be laid to rest."

Sun Erzhuang said somewhat embarrassedly, "Sir has already helped enough. How could I dare to trouble you so much?"

Xu Qing's smile became even kinder upon hearing this: "I am the funeral master you hired; these are all part of my duties, it's nothing."

"It's just that if we are to bury the donkey now, one coffin won't be enough. It just so happens that I have a new coffin here..."

Once the matter of burying the donkey was settled, Xu Qing immediately set to work gathering and stitching the donkey skin and meat together, and then he re-stitched the broken coffin.

After finishing all this, Xu Qing placed the donkey corpse into the coffin, and the donkey cart was taken back to the Mountain Lord Temple as a burial object.

Using the methods of Feng Shui geomancy, Xu Qing found a passable burial plot behind the temple, and then buried the coffin containing the donkey corpse and the donkey cart used as a burial object together.

In front of the newly erected grave, the donkey rope was there, crying for its own funeral.

Sun Erzhuang couldn't bear to watch, so he burned some extra paper money for his donkey.

Having buried the donkey in a rush, the next step was Granny Guanhu's funeral.

Xu Qing picked out a good coffin from the Mountain and River Map and interred the old lady.

Just as the old lady's grave was erected, a light, drizzling rain began to fall from the sky.

Xu Qing opened a bamboo umbrella, patted Sun Erzhuang on the shoulder, and said, "There is a saying in our line of work: 'Rain hits the coffin, ten years of bitterness; rain sprinkles the grave, a noble person emerges.' The old lady's spirit is in heaven, and she is going to bless you to get ahead in life!"

Rain falling on the coffin means ten years of bitterness; rain moistening the grave means descendants will be prominent.

What Xu Qing said was not empty words to comfort people; in the funeral industry, there really was such a saying.

In front of the grave, Sun Erzhuang, who was burning paper, felt his nose ache again upon hearing this.

He lowered his head, his throat feeling a bit blocked, and said, "I used to see you burning incense and worshipping gods, asking for this blessing and that blessing. How is it that now it's your turn to bless me..."

Guan Dazhuang did not transform back into human form. It stood in front of the grave, staring blankly at the tombstone, and even though the rain had soaked its fur, it did not shake it off.

A neat inscription was engraved on the tombstone, which read: Tomb of the late maternal grandmother (Guan), Mother Sun, the old lady of the Guan clan.

Xu Qing silently held the umbrella for the filial son, and by the time they finished paying respects to the old lady and returned to Guanmen Village, it was already near noon.

"Dazhuang, can you still transform into human form?"

Xu Qing asked suddenly.

Guan Dazhuang shook its head and said, "My transformation relies on incense to maintain. After fighting that wicked beast yesterday, the power of the incense I had accumulated is not much left..."

"It's a pity that the Mountain Lord Temple has lost all its prestige, otherwise I wouldn't be in such a sorry state."

Xu Qing already had a plan in mind upon hearing this. He looked at the majestic tiger before him with a smile and said, "It is indeed difficult for the Mountain Lord Temple to recover, but besides doing funeral business, I also work part-time as the Grand Master of the Cat Immortal Hall. If you are interested, you can come to my hall and be a branch hall master. When that time comes, will you still be afraid of having no incense?"

Guan Dazhuang asked, "May I ask who the current Immortal Hall Master of the Cat Immortal Hall is?"

Xu Qing replied, "The sitting hall master is a Cat Immortal. The Cat Immortal Hall is currently in need of talent. If you are willing to join the hall, I can let Sun Erzhuang and you be a Circle Hall Master."

A large Immortal Hall usually has a Grand Hall Master sitting in charge. Besides that, there must be ten branch hall masters under them to manage affairs.

These ten branch halls also have names: Sweeping Hall, Pressing Hall, Transmitting Hall, Monitoring Hall, Protecting Hall, Sitting Hall, Receiving Hall, Circle Hall, Feng Shui Hall, and Medical Hall.

These branch halls have clear ranks and each has its own duties.

The Circle Hall that Xu Qing mentioned is mainly responsible for "circling work" for the Immortal Hall.

Which means soliciting business.

Once Guan Dazhuang heard that he could only sit in a branch hall and the Immortal sitting in the main hall was just a small cat, he rejected the olive branch Xu Qing had thrown out.

A tiger is the master of a mountain and has always had dignity; how could it stoop to be someone else's subordinate?

Seeing Guan Dazhuang refuse, Xu Qing didn't mind. He walked into Sun Erzhuang's home with a smile, and not long after entering, he got straight to the point: "I have already handled the old lady's funeral. I am going back now. If there is nothing else, the two filial sons might as well settle the funeral expenses."

Guan Dazhuang sat squatting to the side with a tiger-headed look, clearly not yet realizing the seriousness of the problem.

Sun Erzhuang suddenly realized and said, "Look at my memory. It was I who invited you to preside over the funeral. Now that the matter is over, it is only right to settle the expenses."

"Please tell me the price, sir."

Xu Qing smiled slightly and took out an abacus to start bookkeeping.

"One oak coffin, five taels; incense, candles, and paper money, four hundred and fifty wen; stitching the corpse and tidying the appearance, plus the funeral service fee, is four taels of silver..."

Finally, Xu Qing added: "Repairing the coffin counts as two mace of silver. The hard-boiled eggs you two ate were top-quality double-yolk eggs, at least five wen each, adding up to over a hundred wen."

"And the fee for treating Dazhuang's injuries, that's one hundred taels of silver."

"Adding all the miscellaneous items together, it comes to a total of one hundred and twenty-one taels and four hundred wen."

After knocking the last bead on the abacus, Xu Qing said generously, "I have always been a person who doesn't care about gains and losses in business. I'll wipe off the small change for you two brothers; just give me one hundred and twenty taels of silver!"

In the coffin shop business, you want money whether they are dead or alive.

This is the consensus in the funeral industry.

Sun Erzhuang's fat trembled after hearing this.

You must know that whether it is a shaman or a disciple of the Immortal, there are rules, which is that every time they look at things for people, they can only collect a running-around fee or a meal fee.

If they collect more money, they are swindlers walking the rivers and lakes, not true practitioners.

Because of this, Granny Guanhu had not saved much silver, which had to do with her way of doing things and also with Sun Erzhuang's appetite.

Now hearing the huge cost of a hundred taels, the big fatty was startled first, and then he said with some difficulty:

"Sir has the grace of saving my life. Not to mention a hundred taels, even a thousand or ten thousand taels, I would be willing to give. But as you have seen, my family is not wealthy..."

Hearing this, Xu Qing didn't mind at all, but instead smiled and said: "No matter, I also have a funeral loan service. This is also posted on the notices at the city gate, and there is no interest."

"However," Xu Qing paused and then said: "However, my loan convenience is only for funeral and white affairs; other expenses are not included."

"Let me calculate. Excluding the fee for treating Dazhuang, the funeral expenses total twenty taels. You two brothers only need to clear the fee for treating Dazhuang for now."

"..."

Guan Dazhuang, who had been staying out of it, finally realized the seriousness of the matter.

"If I don't have silver, what do you plan to do, sir?"

Guan Dazhuang said in a muffled voice.

Xu Qing smiled slightly: "It's easy to handle if you don't have silver. My Cat Immortal Hall is just missing a manager to run errands for the Circle Hall. If you come over to work off the debt, it's not impossible."

What is "the map is revealed and the dagger is shown"—Guan Dazhuang suddenly realized.

No wonder the other party was so indifferent when it refused the Cat Immortal Hall's affairs before; it turned out they were waiting for it here.

"What if I don't agree?"

Xu Qing smiled: "The brother's debt is repaid by the younger brother. You are a tiger; I didn't expect you to repay the debt. If you don't agree, Erzhuang might not necessarily disagree. I think Erzhuang is even more suitable for managing the Circle Hall than you."

Sun Erzhuang was raised by Granny Guanhu, and under her influence, he also knew some jargon.

"If you want me to help manage the hall, sir, I have no objection. It's just the place for this Circle Hall..."

Xu Qing looked at Sun Erzhuang and said, "Isn't the Mountain Lord Temple always idle? Ask a craftsman to repair the temple, and it can be used as a branch hall."

Guan Dazhuang asked suspiciously upon hearing this, "The Mountain Lord Temple has long since lost its incense offerings. Even if it is repaired, who would come to worship?"

"This is easy to handle. In the future, change the Mountain Lord Temple into the Cat Immortal Hall. In a few days, I will invite various Immortals to come and hold an open-air ritual, and tell the outside world that the fierce tiger monster that was doing evil in Mount Taodou has been eradicated by the Cat Immortal Hall. Then, carry Guan Xiaohu's corpse to several nearby villages for a parade, and you won't have to worry about having no incense offerings."

Guan Dazhuang widened its tiger eyes. This works too?

(End of chapter)