Chapter 14: Visiting the Funeral

Inside the mortuary shop, Xu Qing used blood as a medium. Like a child playing with a string game, he pulled and wound ten lines of blood from his fingertips, continuously flipping and turning them, finally weaving them into a winged blood insect in the shape of a green-winged cicada.

In the belly of the hollow-carved cicada-shaped blood insect, one could vaguely see a dozen or so tiny green-winged cicada larvae the size of rice grains.

Mother and child tied together, the Green-Winged Cicada Curse began.

Xu Qing, who had been prepared, put the mother string on his gold clappers, while the child insect flapped its wings and landed in his money bag.

At the mouth of the money bag, a red-green light flashed. If Xu Qing hadn't been staring at it, he might have thought his eyes were playing tricks on him.

"Is that it?"

Xu Qing took out a copper coin and, with the mindset of trying it out, went to the backyard and threw it over the wall with all his might.

He wasn't afraid of hitting anyone. Even if a copper coin fell on someone's head, it would be like a raindrop, at most causing a small bump. If he went home and let his wife blow on it, the bump would disappear.

After throwing the copper coin, Xu Qing stood in the backyard and looked up at the sky. But after waiting for half a cup of tea, he didn't see the copper coin flying back with its small wings.

Could it be that he used too much force and the mother coin couldn't receive the signal?

Xu Qing estimated the force and threw another copper coin. This time he used half the force and waited for a while, but still didn't see the copper coin.

Could this money-returning technique be ineffective?

Xu Qing looked at the remaining money in his bag and thought, forget it!

Fortunately, he only threw two copper coins just now. If he had thrown the silver in his bag, he would have lost it all.

He was still counting on this money to collect corpses!

Returning to the front shop, the freeloader's naked corpse was still lying on the broken wooden bed. Xu Qing thought that leaving it out like this wasn't right; it was quite indecent.

If he followed the corpse-driver's path, he should find a partition and seal the corpse away, waiting until he had enough to sell them all at once or drive them to the charity graveyard.

There was a partition in the mortuary shop. In the past, Liu Youdao not only kept corpses inside but even rested there himself.

Stacking a pile of corpses at the head of the bed as scenery—you're really bold!

Xu Qing didn't have that hobby; he had no interest in corpses.

Thinking it over, Xu Qing felt he still needed to buy a few coffins to serve as storage containers, temporarily putting the corpses inside. When he couldn't fit any more, he would choose an auspicious day and find a wild field to bury them.

Don't worry about whether those corpses were good or not while they were alive; in the end, it's all about being buried in the earth.

If you just throw them in the wilderness or sink them in the river, and one day the corpses start to rot and attract the plague god, that would be truly evil!

The street where Xu Qing lived, Jingxia Street, had a nickname: Funeral Street.

This was because all the shops related to funerals were gathered on this street.

Shops like coffin shops, paper-craft shops, and candle shops were all here.

And just a few days ago, a new mortuary shop had opened, doing business in funerals, encoffining, and serving the dead.

At this time, the paper-craft shop owner, Wu Yaoxing, was leaning against the door, idle. Beside him, in addition to a paper horse with half a horse head showing, there were two wreaths placed on the left and right. The main focus was on symmetry.

Wu Yaoxing was cracking melon seeds, watching the pedestrians on the street. He was too embarrassed to shout and solicit business like the other shops.

After all, business being quiet was a small matter, but getting his legs broken was a big one!

Ever since Wu Yaoxing started this paper-craft business, his relatives who visited had decreased. During festivals, the shop owners on this street would wish each other a happy new year. When idle, they would occasionally gather to chat.

Just as Wu Yaoxing was cracking melon seeds, he saw the young boss of the newly opened shop next door appear.

Wu Yaoxing was just worrying about having no one to relieve his boredom, and this cheered him up!

Putting the melon seed shells in his pocket, he reached out to greet him, looking exactly like a pimp at the entrance of a brothel.

"Young man, come over and sit for a while. Since we're both idle, let's chat."

Xu Qing, who was planning to go out, thought for a moment and felt that he should indeed maintain good relations with his neighbors, so he went to the entrance of the paper-craft shop.

Wu Yaoxing hurriedly moved a small stool and took out a handful of melon seeds to stuff into Xu Qing's hand.

Xu Qing wasn't used to eating these. Not to mention the five-spice ones, even the sweet ones weren't on the zombie menu!

There was no way, so he had to tactfully say, "Old Wu, I've been feeling a bit hot lately, so I can't eat these."

Then, Xu Qing took a handful of small dried persimmons from his bag and said, "I have some small snacks here. I heard they are sunset red persimmons from Gannan. Not only do they taste sweet, but the persimmon frost also clears heat and reduces dryness. You should try them."

"That sounds good, I must try them!"

Sometimes, the way people get along is just that simple. With this exchange, the relationship between the two drew much closer.

Eating the sweet dried persimmons, the two began to chat aimlessly.

Mostly Wu Yaoxing was talking, and Xu Qing was listening.

The topics were nothing more than popular neighborhood gossip, interspersed with domestic trivialities, such as how old are you this year? Are you married? Where is your hometown...

As Wu Yaoxing talked, he brought up a celebrity anecdote that had recently spread in the ward!

And this celebrity happened to be an acquaintance Xu Qing had just seen and transcended a few days ago—the wealthy Master Liu from Tube Street!

"Every family has its own difficult scripture to read. Master Liu was such a wealthy man. A few years ago, he even set up porridge stalls to help disaster victims from Yaozhou. Who would have thought he would be deceived by his own wife and steward for so long? Not only did they commit adultery and have a child, but they also lived in his big mansion, spent his money, and raised their own child."

"I've never seen anyone get cheated so miserably!"

Xu Qing heard this and said nonchalantly, "That can't be right. I presided over Master Liu's funeral a few days ago and didn't hear about this. Who did you hear it from?"

"Old Hu from the coffin shop at the end of the street said so. That old man has no children and spends all day flirting with old ladies. I guess he wants to find a companion when he dies. You haven't seen the coffin Old Hu prepared for himself. It's so wide that it would have room for two or three people!"

"Not that, I mean, how did others discover the affair between Master Liu's wife and the steward?"

"This, I heard it was Master Liu's concubine who went to the government office to file a complaint. I don't know the specifics, but when the government office people arrived at the Liu residence, they pulled down the pants of the steward and Master Liu's son in front of everyone. Guess what?"

I'm a child, and you're asking me to guess!

Xu Qing smiled and said, "I guess they both had two identical moles on their buttocks, and these moles were a pair of peach blossoms!"

"..."

Wu Yaoxing, who was in the middle of his story, was like a rooster about to crow whose neck had been pinched. He felt incredibly uncomfortable!

"You brat, if you knew this, why did you come and ask me?"

Seeing Wu Yaoxing blowing his beard and staring, Xu Qing hurriedly made up for it, "How could that be? Although I heard it from others, they didn't tell it as well as you. When you tell it, it feels like I've entered a teahouse. It's so comfortable!"

Wu Yaoxing's expression eased slightly. The two talked back and forth, and by the time they were familiar with each other, Xu Qing understood the ins and outs of the matter.

As the saying goes, good news doesn't leave the door, but bad news spreads a thousand miles.

Ever since Master Liu's concubine, Su Hongxiu, filed a complaint with the government, the government office runners and soldiers were like bandits entering a village. They arrived at the Liu residence and, without a word, first pulled down the pants of the steward, Song Cai, and Master Liu's son.

After confirming that the two had identical birthmarks, Patrol Captain Zhao Zhonghe immediately drew a Guanzhong treasure sword, a palm wide and three feet long, and was about to cut their fingers to test their blood relationship.

Master Liu's son thought he was about to be executed on the spot and screamed in fear, "Dad! My dear dad!"

Zhao Zhonghe's voice was naturally rough, and he roared, "Who is your father! Straighten your tongue and speak!"

Master Liu's son tremblingly extended a finger and pointed at Song Cai, "He, he is my father!"

Steward Song Cai sighed and collapsed on the ground.

Zhao Zhonghe didn't care about that and took the two to be detained in the guardroom for trial. As they were leaving the Liu residence, the Liu family's mistress came out with silver notes to block the road. When asked for her identity, Master Liu's son's biological mother?

Take her away too!

After an overnight interrogation, a scandal and murder case that shocked the streets of Linhe Ward surfaced.

As the saying goes, adultery has always led to many deaths, and only self-love can bring peace.

With this, the case of Master Liu's murder in the hot spring was completely solved.

"What about the Liu residence now?" Xu Qing was curious. If the people in charge of the Liu family were all in jail, wouldn't Su Hongxiu, the oriole, be the biggest winner?

"You mean the Liu residence? It was sealed by the government long ago. I guess in the end, it will all fall into the hands of the government."

"Sealed? Then the Liu family concubine who reported this should have some family property to inherit, right?" Xu Qing really hadn't expected this. Could it be that Su Hongxiu was just the mantis wielding the sword, and the government office was the oriole that pecked at the food in the end?

Wu Yaoxing took the dried persimmons handed to him again and told a brand-new version that Xu Qing didn't know.

In about the time it takes to drink a cup of tea, Xu Qing understood why Su Hongxiu couldn't be the winner.

It turned out that just as Su Hongxiu was preparing to take over the Liu family's business, an old man who managed the Liu family's accounts, Song Cai's uncle, also submitted a complaint.

The complaint stated that during her time at the Liu residence, Su Hongxiu had met with outsiders more than once, and even had people climb over the wall to be intimate with her. She also had suspicions of adultery and lewdness!

Originally, relatives could not be witnesses, and Song Cai's uncle's testimony could not be used as evidence in court. But the government government office itself was a gold-swallowing beast. With such a large family business as the Liu family, even the government official was greedy!

After several tugs-of-war, although Su Hongxiu was not convicted, because the Liu residence was sealed, she had no choice but to drift to the streets and alleys with her maid and return to her old profession.

After all, they had no experience in other trades, and after thinking it over, they felt their old profession was the most comfortable.

After chatting, Xu Qing declined Wu Yaoxing's invitation to dinner. He was afraid that his habit of gnawing on candles would scare the other party.

Leaving the paper-craft shop and walking a short distance, he arrived at the coffin shop at the end of the street.

Looking at the three large characters "Anle Shou" (Peace and Longevity) in red on a black background on the plaque, Xu Qing subconsciously patted his cheeks.

For some reason, every time he passed the entrance of this coffin shop, he felt drowsy, always feeling that the coffins inside were more comfortable than a soft, big bed.

Walking into the shop, he was met with two black coffins.

On the left coffin foot was a couplet: "People have no thousand-year lifespan";

On the right coffin foot was another couplet: "I have longevity here."

Then he looked at the horizontal scroll...

Xu Qing looked up and saw a red coffin hanging from the beam above, with "Longevity has no two prices" written on the bottom of the coffin.

"Shou" (Longevity) is synonymous with "Shou" (Sell) and also "Guan" (Coffin).

It meant it was a one-time deal, and the price was not negotiable!

Just as Xu Qing was looking with interest, a thin old man wearing burial clothes walked out from the back room with his hands behind his back.

"Young man, are you here to request a coffin or to place an order?"

Xu Qing pondered for a moment and said, "Request two coffins. They don't need to be too good, but it's best if they have more space, are warm in winter and cool in summer, and have good ventilation..."

"..."

Hu Baosong raised an eyebrow and interrupted, "You young man have filial piety, but that's not how you choose a coffin."

As the two were talking, Hu Baosong walked to a coffin near the shop entrance. Just as he was about to explain the ins and outs to Xu Qing, he suddenly caught sight of something rolling into the shop entrance.

"Where did this copper coin come from?" The old man rubbed his dim eyes to confirm if he had seen wrong.

Hearing this, Xu Qing turned his head and saw a copper coin rolling vertically from the alley across the street toward the entrance of the coffin shop!

Don't say, this copper coin looked familiar. Wasn't it the Green-Winged Cicada child coin he had thrown earlier!

After the child coin was discarded, it wandered the streets and alleys for a long time before finally finding the location of the mother coin. At this moment, like a little tadpole looking for its mother, it rolled hurriedly to Xu Qing, turned around twice with a delicate sound, and finally stopped at his feet.

Seeing Xu Qing pick up the copper coin, Hu Baosong first frowned slightly, and then his expression changed drastically.

"Quick, throw this money away! This money ran over by itself; it's probably unclean. It might be the money for buying life and asking the way thrown by a lonely ghost!"

No sooner had Hu Baosong finished speaking than another copper coin rolled over from the alley across the street, this time stopping exactly in the same position as its brother.

"Go to hell! Don't you see what kind of place this is! Your ancestor here has been eating ghosts since I was a child, shitting ghosts, and there are forty-two ghost thighs stewing on the stove at home! If you want to ask the way or buy a life, weigh whether you have enough weight!"

Hu Baosong was truly bold. Seeing the money coming in an inexplicable way, he reached out and picked up the copper coin on the ground, snatched the copper coin from Xu Qing's hand, and threw them out with all his might, while cursing and saying crazy things!

"Young man, don't be afraid! In our line of work, what haven't we seen? Those lonely ghosts are most afraid of foul language. As long as we curse fiercely, they won't dare to come and harm people!"

"..."

Xu Qing looked at the copper coins that had been thrown out again after returning, speechless for a long time.

Should they come back the same way later?

Thinking of this, Xu Qing didn't dare to stay any longer. He was afraid that the two copper coins would make a comeback, which would make Old Man Hu unable to sleep for days and nights?

Such evil deeds cannot be done!

After chatting with Hu Baosong for a while and confirming the delivery date, Xu Qing hurriedly left the coffin shop.

Although today's trip to the coffin shop didn't allow him to see the big coffin that could hold two or three people, he had pre-ordered two new coffins for stocking goods and verified the effectiveness of the Green-Winged Cicada Money-Returning Curse.

It could be considered a trip not in vain!

(End of chapter) ===== CHAPTER 15 =====