[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"origin-reincarnated-as-the-villainess-s-son":3,"chapter-reincarnated-as-the-villainess-s-son-reincarnated-as-the-villainess-s-son-chapter-474":6},{"origin":4,"title":5},"english","Reincarnated As The Villainess's Son",{"chapter":7,"nextChapterSlug":19,"prevChapterSlug":20,"totalChapters":21,"novelImage":22},{"id":8,"novel_id":9,"title":10,"slug":11,"index":12,"content":13,"wordcount":14,"created_at":15,"updated_at":15,"volume":16,"translator":17,"content_hash":18},1365867,1806,"Chapter 474  [Dystopian Elven War] [50] [Undeserving Mother]","reincarnated-as-the-villainess-s-son-chapter-474",474,"\u003Cp>[Capital City, Tamriel Kingdom.]\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>[Nerissa's POV.]\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>There were so many thoughts racing through my mind.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Thoughts that were enough to make my head burn from pain.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But… what was the point of thinking so much?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I have done what I should and there is nothing to change it.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>…I have abandoned him.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>'...'\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Whenever I was sad, my father always used to say,\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>If the world feels like too much of a burden, come back home.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But what is a home to someone like me?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Whom should I call my home in this world?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>My husband who is nothing but a murderous man, who is after my blood?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>My son whom I have lost?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>My daughter whom I have neglected all her life?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Or the son whom I chose to hate willingly?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>'...'\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The truth was… I don't have a home.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>There was no one out there to whom I can return.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>....And it was my fault, for I let it happen to myself.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>'...'\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The royal palace loomed over me as I kept on walking aimlessly.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I will pretend to help the elves like I always do.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Not like they deserve to live anyway.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It only took four steps to be stopped by a soldier.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A petite boy wearing a battle uniform—far too early for a boy his age.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Lady Nerissa.\" He bowed slightly, fear clear in the way he presented himself. \"Queen Pasithea asked for your assistance.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"What for?\" I asked, feeling a clear dryness in my throat.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"I.. I.. am not sure.\" He spoke hesitantly. \"But it is related to Sir Himmel.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Urgh, it's always him.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>No matter what happens, he is somehow related to it.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It makes me sick….\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>….Why does he always have to throw himself in danger?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"What did he do this time?\" I asked, suppressing the bud of concern in my heart.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The soldier hesitated before speaking.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"….He left for Demiurge Kingdom.\" He spoke. \"Alone.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I felt a sudden knot in my heart that I chose to ignore.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I moved quickly past him but my steps slowed down as I looked back at him.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"What is your name, boy?\" I asked.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He trembled again. \"It's Rendo.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"You are fired.\" I said simply. \"Never show me your face here.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I didn't wait for his response as I walked away.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>There is no place for a child in a war.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Death is such a petty thing….. taking away those who don't deserve to go.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>….And leaving behind those who should die.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>To suffocate while they keep on living.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I swallowed hard as I felt my hand sweaty.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Why would he go alone to such a dangerous place?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Is he planning to fight against a demigod with no preparation at all?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Who the hell does he think he is…..\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Aside from the constant movement of soldiers and the ever-present maids, there wasn't anyone to stop me.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I reached the throne room relatively easily.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But….\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>My steps slowed down once again as I saw someone standing in front of the gate.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Those defining features—the golden eyes with rings.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It was hard to focus when they are fixed on you.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Even if the one staring is your own daughter.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I quickly gained back my composure as I walked towards her.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Where is Pasithea?\" I asked, looking at her. \"And why did no one stop Himmel—.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Why should we?\" She cut me off slowly. \"Why would anyone want to—.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"He has the nourishment of the World Tree, goddamnit!\" I snapped as I wasn't in the right mood.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"His life is important because he has the future of elves in him!\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"...\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nymeria remained silent as she stared back at me.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It wasn't long before I felt guilty for losing my composure once again.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>'….It never happened before.'\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I could always keep my heart cold no matter who was in front of me.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Keeping my composure at all times has always been what I am good at.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But since the day that 'boy' came back, I have been frequently losing it.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I let out a sigh as I rubbed my eyes. \"…..What is Pasithea doing?\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Talking with Lady Mariam.\" She spoke softly. \"She plans to come back from Akasha as soon as possible.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I nodded my head as I moved back.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Coming back later when she is free would be a better choice.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>...And being with her makes me uncomfortable.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The years of negligence that I did to her are eating me alive now.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Being with her only makes it worse.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"…Mother.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Just as I was about to turn around, her meek voice broke the silence.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Can we talk for a while?\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I drew in a deep breath as I stopped my body from trembling.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I knew this day would come but I don't want to….\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>….I don't want to look into my past.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The things that I have done.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I don't want to remember that.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But all those thoughts were crushed immediately when I looked up at her to say 'no.'\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The small face of hers… the expectant look in her eyes.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"….Sure.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I spoke instinctively before my rational mind could take over.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nymeria nodded, grateful as she led me towards a familiar corridor.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>…The same corridor that I always moved around once.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The same place where all my children used to play once.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nymeria led me back to the opening to the royal garden.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Most of the things were the same as I remembered them.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The big yet beautiful garden bloomed in front of me once again.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nymeria didn't speak as she slowly sat down on the stairs leading to the garden.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I also sat down beside her without speaking anything.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The only thing between us for a while was the gentle breeze in the air.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nymeria kept on stealing glances in my direction.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I on the other hand kept on staring at the empty garden.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The place that once was my favourite place to be in.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"….Did you talk with Himmel?\" Nymeria asked gently, making me blink. \"When I met him… he looked upset.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"…He deserves that.\" I replied coldly. \"You lost your younger brother because of him.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"...\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nymeria didn't respond to my words.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Why did I say that anyway?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I rubbed my face as I felt more and more uncomfortable beside her.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Does it make you feel better?\" Nymeria asked after a while. \"…. Blaming him for Liam's death?\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I didn't speak as I stared at the empty garden, remembering the laughter that once filled it.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"No.\" I spoke after a while. \"…. Liam's death was still his fault—.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"It was my fault, mother.\" She spoke, cutting me off. \"I was the one who healed Himmel before Liam—.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"It wasn't in your hand.\" I spoke, my body instinctively being defensive. \"The World Tree chose to help Himmel.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>There was a silence between us as she turned to look at the garden.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Then why do you hate him?\" Nymeria asked after a while. \"When you already know it wasn't his fault.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"....\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I waited for a while as I stared at the garden without any words.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"…Because every time I see him,\" I finally said, \"I see what I lost. Liam's smile. His little hands. Everything I failed to protect.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The words slipped out before I could stop them.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"And every time I look at Himmel I remember what I lost.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It's easier to turn that pain into hate than to live with it.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I have been doing it for so long that I feel disgusted by myself.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I let out a brittle laugh. \"Maybe. Maybe I also hate myself for letting it happen.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The breeze picked up, carrying the faint scent of flowers.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>For a moment we both listened to it, letting the silence stretch.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"…I am a terrible mother, am I not?\" I spoke with a broken smile. \"….How good it would have been for you if you weren't my daughter.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"...\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A sharp ache pierced through me as she didn't refute my words.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>What was I expecting anyway?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I was the one who did all the heinous things in the first place.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"You deserve a better mother.\" I squeezed those words out, lowering my gaze. \"A mother who isn't like me…\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nymeria turned toward me at last, her golden-ringed eyes soft.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Maybe,\" she said quietly, \"maybe I do deserve a better mother.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I lowered my gaze once again as I nodded gently.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A part of me was grieving but I knew what it was for her.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>How much she had to go through because I wasn't there.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"But…\" Nymeria spoke once again. \"….I have a big heart, so I will forgive you.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I flinched visibly as I looked—no stared at her.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nymeria slowly smiled as she turned fully towards me.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"I want to start again.\" She said brightly.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"What do you say, mother?\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>For a long heartbeat I could only stare at her.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"….Since when.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I tried to chuckle but what came out was a pathetic sob.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"….When did you grow up so big?\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The years and years of suppressed emotions bubbled back to the surface.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>My eyes blurred, vision foggy and before I knew it…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>…I was crying like a child.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nymeria moved closer to hug me gently.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>….But it didn't help at all.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>No matter how much I try to compose myself, my tears just won't stop.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>….She wasn't the home that I deserve.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>---\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>---\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>[Somewhere between the borders of Demiurge Kingdom.]\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Ahi!\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zenith yelped like a child as she grabbed onto the fur of the beast.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She rode the part of Taimat's first Child who moved majestically in the sky.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"How come your spirit beast flies!?\" Zenith asked as she looked to her side.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Siersha was sitting on her side much more composed than her.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"It's not flying.\" She replied. \"But making his body lighter than air to float and using wind magic to move.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zenith clung tighter, her hair whipping in the cold air.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"That's… that's still flying to me!\" she shouted, voice trembling between awe and fear.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Beside her, Siersha barely moved, her crimson eyes fixed on the dark horizon.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Hold on tighter,\" she said calmly. \"There is a storm ahead.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"I am holding on!\" Zenith protested, cheeks puffed.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The beast gave a low, thunder-like rumble.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A sudden updraft lifted them higher, and Zenith squeaked again, burying her face in the soft mane.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The thunders roared around them as they moved through the clouds.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Zenith.\" Siersha spoke seriously, making the girl turn towards her. \"Listen to what I have to say.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zenith blinked at her seriousness. \"What?\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"No matter what happens and what you see.\" She said seriously. \"Do not let rage and grief control you.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zenith trembled slightly. \"W-what do you mean!?\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"Just keep my words in mind.\" She spoke, her voice serious. \"If you lose yourself then everyone will be in danger.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zenith gulped down as her heart kept on beating even faster.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her gaze slowly shifted towards the child riding beside her.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The girl who had been giggling looked back at her.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"She is right.\" Avelia nodded her head. \"Papa said, your power is related to God of time.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zenith drew in a deep breath to calm herself. \"What happens if I lose control?\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\"You create a mess.\" She replied seriously. \"Papa says, you create a new pathway.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zenith bit her lips as her eyes moved forward.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her heart trembled as her mind remembered that awful future once again.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zenith became even more unrest. \"….Mother.\"\u003C\u002Fp>",1911,"2026-06-05T21:29:08.031Z",1,"novelbin.me","baab3eaf4a0706afd55a55a30a1dc09c7acb27491f5c1fc117a76bff8ba556b3","reincarnated-as-the-villainess-s-son-chapter-475","reincarnated-as-the-villainess-s-son-chapter-473",556,"https:\u002F\u002Fnovelzhen.com\u002Fimages\u002Fcovers\u002Freincarnated-as-the-villainess-s-son-cover.jpg"]