Chapter 673: The Show Begins

Everyone could see the snake's figure flickering in and out at the mouth of the bamboo basket, but thankfully he pulled the bamboo basket back again.

He reached out and patted his chest, let out a breath of relief, and glanced toward the hole in the roof as he did so. All he could see inside was pitch-black, and he could hear one snore after another, as if they were about to breathe their last — it made a person want to just send them on their way…

Ye Yaodong carefully pried open two more tiles, measured the gap with his hand, and only when he felt the opening was big enough did he confidently aim the mouth of the bamboo basket at the hole in the roof again.

The snakes inside finally found their outlet and went thump-thump-thump as they dropped to the bottom.

He could already hear the sounds…

Fortunately, though, the people inside were sleeping pretty dead — the snoring never stopped, one snore louder than the last.

Just to be safe, he shook the bamboo basket again and patted the bottom, and only when he felt it was completely empty did he put it away, then swiftly covered the tiles back up.

Then he tiptoed his way back quickly, ears pricked up, though he hadn't heard any sounds yet.

Maybe the people inside were sleeping pretty dead, or maybe those snakes were still slithering around on the floor and hadn't climbed onto the bed yet.

When he crept lightly to the highest point of the triangular peak, he glanced back, wanting to see if A'guang had finished — he couldn't see a thing.

But he did hear a soft, short whistle. He turned his head and looked over, only to find A'guang already lying flat at the edge of the eaves, ready to climb down.

Ah! How could he move so nimbly?

Looks like he's got the knack for this line of work!

He couldn't be bothered to think more. Taking advantage of the fact that there was still no movement inside, he hurried over to the eaves as well.

Just as A'guang was trembling slightly, carefully making his way down, and was almost at the bottom, he stretched out his foot and stepped onto the cart.

But just at that moment, his stomach gave an untimely twitch. Everyone knows this kind of thing isn't that easy to hold in — especially since he was hunched over with his butt sticking out, his intestines running straight to the bottom.

"Pfft~"

"Holy shit!"

A'guang had just happened to have one foot on the ground, the other not yet down, when he was blasted by a fart and plopped down onto the ground…

He stared up at Ye Yaodong in disbelief, his features scrunched up into a ball, mouth open wanting to curse, but unable to hold back a laugh — the result was a tearful smiling face.

"Damn it, Ye Yaodong, you did that on purpose, didn't you! So low-down…"

Ye Yaodong was a bit embarrassed and awkwardly turned to look at the three of them. A'zheng and Xiao Xiao, one on each side, were both desperately covering their noses and glaring at him viciously.

He scratched his head and sincerely explained in a small voice, "You all know this kind of thing sometimes can't be held in. It was already at the mouth — if I didn't let it out, it wouldn't do… Holding in a fart damages the heart; forcing out a fart you don't have strengthens the body…"

"Shut up!"

A'zheng couldn't take it anymore. There happened to be a stick next to his hand, so he casually picked it up and poked him in the butt twice.

"Holy shit, what are you doing!"

"Pushing it back in for you!"

Xiao Xiao watched the two of them making a scene at an inopportune moment, pinched her nose, and quickly cut them off, urging, "Get down here already, stop jabbering up there. If someone catches you red-handed later, you'll be in for it."

"It was that pervert who poked my butt first," Ye Yaodong muttered as he kept climbing down. "Wait till I get down and I'll kill you…"

"I'll kill you first!"

"Shh-shh, sounds like someone inside is screaming~" A'guang hurriedly reminded them.

All three pricked up their ears, eyes shining. Sure enough, after a short gasp they heard another scream.

"Quick, quick, quick~ put the cart down, pile everything on the ground onto it, push it to the door and set it down properly."

"Easy… easy… don't make any noise…"

The screams inside grew louder and louder, one wave more piercing than the last, making the four of them absolutely thrilled.

The show is about to begin!

They hurriedly put the cart back in place, then ducked into a shadowed spot by the house to hide their figures.

"Here, here, stand still and don't make a sound…"

At this moment, the lights inside the house lit up one after another, and the panicked voices rose higher and higher, as if about to pierce through the roof.

Especially a few female voices, shrill enough to pierce one's eardrums, accompanied by the thump-thump-thump of feet stomping on the bed boards.

"Ah~"

"Ah~ help~ help~"

"There's snakes~ there's snakes~ help~ ahhhh~"

"Ahhhh~ help, somebody come~ snakes…"

The four culprits hid in the corner, ears pricked, refusing to miss a single sound. Listening to the wildly excited shouts from inside, they were thrilled, wishing they could press themselves against the window to catch a glimpse of the legendary scene!

"Ooh-ooh, they're getting louder and louder~"

"Louder~"

"Scream away, the more you scream the more excited I get~"

"I really want to lean against the window and take a peek~ it's such a shame not to see it~"

Ye Yaodong also felt it was quite a pity not to see it with his own eyes.

"How about we take a look?"

"No way, we'll be spotted and blow our cover," A'guang stretched out his head, reining in his eager heart, and said sensibly.

Ye Yaodong thought for a moment and said, "We're standing in the dark, and the inside is brightly lit. As long as you don't get too close, they probably can't see the silhouettes outside from in there."

"Eh? Right!" Xiao Xiao also came back to her senses. "From outside looking in, it's bright as day; from inside looking out, it's pitch-black, can't see a thing."

"Right, right, right, seems like that's how it is!" A'guang's eyes lit up too, getting excited.

A'zheng was so excited he almost jumped up. "Let's go, let's go, let's stand in the dark spot across from the back door window. That's their private plot, no one lives there, no fear of being spotted."

When they had checked earlier whether the doors and windows were properly shut, they had already walked a full circle around the house and gotten familiar with it.

The four of them hurried excitedly to switch spots again, while the noise and screams inside the house were by now nearly reaching their peak.

They stood in a row, relying on their good eyesight, and peered through the window from afar at the couple inside who looked like ants on a hot pan.

The older Old Wang was standing in a corner, trembling and not daring to move, while his wife was standing on the bed, jumping around like an ant on a hot pan.

They watched from afar; on the bed it looked like two snakes were slithering about.

One bamboo basket had three, the other had four. The snakes this old couple kept in their house were dumped there by Ye Yaodong, and he didn't even know how many were in the basket he'd grabbed.

Anyway, in the dead of night, two snakes suddenly appearing on the bed was scary enough.

"Tsk tsk tsk, what a coward. He looks like he's about to pee himself. A spineless loser like this actually dares to threaten other people?"

A Guang was quite satisfied seeing the scene from afar; he felt the night's work hadn't been for nothing.

"Hehe, that old hag looks like she's got plenty to spare, she's bouncing so hard they're almost flying out…"

Ye Yaodong: "…"

"Your tastes are this heavy? She's practically toothless and you can still stare?"

Ye Yaodong looked at A Zheng with disgust; he hadn't expected his tastes to be so… special?

"She flashed them at me, why wouldn't I look? It's free, right? Look for nothing or look—looking won't cost me a piece of flesh."

"They're almost dragging on the ground, what's there to see?" A Guang was also thoroughly disgusted.

"I just realized that during the Anti-Japanese War, the old ladies hiding cucumbers under their breasts was actually true!"

The three: "…"

Now there's a vivid image…

What an imagination!

Ye Yaodong shivered and quickly changed the subject. "I wonder what the situation is in the other rooms. We only heard screaming—those idiots, don't they know to open the door and run out…"

"Is it possible there are snakes by their feet or by the door blocking their way? Or that they were so scared their legs went weak and they couldn't walk? And the doors are locked from the inside, so people outside can't get in either?"

"That's fine, let them enjoy the experience a little longer~"

The neighbors on both sides and nearby residents were also woken up by the noise, one after another turning on their lights and getting up, throwing open their windows to curse.

"Are you trying to kill us? What's all this racket in the middle of the night? Are you going to let people sleep or not?"

"Who the hell is this? Got a problem?"

"Saw a ghost? Screaming like this in the middle of the night~"

"Who is it? Did you eat shit? Why so worked up? Screaming so loud?"

Anyone woken from a sound sleep would be in a foul mood. It's not like a fire where you can throw open the window and see at a glance—the first thing everyone did upon opening the window was start cursing.

However, after the cursing, they also heard the screams mixed with cries of "snake, snake…"

Some, puzzled, threw on an outer robe and headed outside, intending to come check what was going on at that house—screaming nonstop in the middle of the night instead of sleeping, it sounded obviously wrong at first hearing.

At that moment, someone from the Wang family also flung open the door and ran out shouting, "There are snakes! Somebody come~"

"Help! There are snakes~"

"Is anyone there~ Help~"

The four of them stuck their heads out from the vegetable patch behind the house, pricking up their ears and judging from the sounds at the front door that it was the old man's daughter-in-law and grandchildren doing the screaming.

As for the two old folks in the window before them, they had already changed positions. The old woman had gone from being an ant on a hot pan to a gecko, sitting on the side panel of the canopied bed, while the old man seemed to have broken through the encirclement and was standing by the door, opening it.

Then, suddenly, he bolted as if fleeing for his life, leaving his old lady behind to play gecko.

"Hey, isn't it time for us to make our entrance?" A Zheng was rubbing his fists and itching to get closer to watch the fun.

A Guang also looked at Ye Yaodong. "We can't let these snakes get away or get caught by someone else. We worked a long time to catch them—it'd be a shame to lose them. Isn't Fatty still waiting for us to finish the task and bring them back to cook?"

Xiao Xiao chimed in, "We definitely have to catch them, but if we suddenly show up, won't they guess it was us?"

"What a joke. Just because he says we did it means we did it? Catch a thief with the loot, catch an adulterer with the pair. Why not say they did too many rotten things and got their comeuppance?"

Ye Yaodong said carelessly, "Let's go. We'll take a detour, carry the bamboo baskets, and stroll right up!"