Chapter 712: The Reason I'm Not Clever

Ye Yaodong slept comfortably until broad daylight before waking, then lay in bed with the blanket tucked between his legs, dawdling for quite a while, until he smelled the aroma of food drifting in from outside and his stomach started growling again, forcing him to get up.

He sat up, and at the same time the bed board let out a creak; he stretched into a huge yawn, letting out a long "Mmm~ ah~" from his throat, and only then lowered his arms.

"So comfy~"

He rolled his neck around, then got out of bed, got dressed, and went out.

Lin Lin Xiuqing had originally planned to go inside after cooking to check whether he was awake yet. Seeing him come out without anyone calling, she hurriedly said, "I was just about to go see if you were up? If you're awake, hurry up and eat — you didn't eat this morning."

"Mm, has the opera troupe arrived?"

"They did, arrived at the crack of dawn. Over at the Tianhou Temple it's been lively since morning, and even now there's still a big crowd there, none of them willing to leave. Only when mealtime came did the number drop a little."

"Oh, that's normal too. Our village has never put on a big opera before, so the folks are all very excited."

"Isn't that the truth? Every man, woman, and child ran over to take a look this morning. They were chased off later, and only then did the crowd thin out a little. The kids have been out of school for almost an hour now and still haven't come back — they've probably run off to the Tianhou Temple too."

Lin Lin Xiuqing spoke as she half-complained, "Don't even know to come home, can't find them anywhere to eat…"

"They'll come back on their own in a bit."

"That might be hard. They never come home on time after school every day — dawdling and playing around. A twenty-something-minute walk normally takes them over an hour to get home. With the village so lively now, they've probably turned off at the corner toward the Tianhou Temple."

"What about Ye Chengyang?" Ye Yaodong looked left and right, then glanced toward the door — not a soul in sight, not even a dog.

"Probably ran over there too. Anyway, I haven't seen him all morning."

"You haven't seen the dogs either, have you?"

Lin Lin Xiuqing turned her head and thought for a moment. "You're right! Even the dogs have vanished."

"Those dogs probably followed Ye Chengyang. I'll ride my bike over and take a look — if I see them, I'll bring them back."

"Then go and come back quick. Don't end up not bringing the kids back and not wanting to leave yourself."

"How could that be? I'm not a kid."

"Aren't you still a kid? You're not much different from them. How many things have you led them into? Then they're the ones who get beaten, while you stand there watching and gloating."

Ye Yaodong blinked twice and laughed awkwardly. "Heh heh, not really, is it?"

"Go and come back quick — still chatting here? The food's going to get cold."

"Got it."

He rode his bicycle along the beach toward the Tianhou Temple. Along the way he could still see people drifting back toward the village in twos and threes — they probably knew it was mealtime and should head home to eat.

Halfway there, he ran into his own brood of kids. They were walking along, waving their arms and jumping, their faces alight with excitement — he could feel it even from far away.

He pedaled quickly a couple of times, rode up beside them, and rang the bell on his bike. Only then did the kids react and notice him.

But the pack of dogs at home had already spotted him first and were galloping toward him on all fours.

"Woof woof woof woof~"

"Third Uncle~"

"Dad~"

"You don't even know to come home first after school, running here instead. Wait till we get home and you'll get a beating again."

Ye Ye Chenghai said thick-skinned, "It's not that late, is it?"

The moment Ye Chenghu and Ye Ye Chengyang saw the bicycle, the two of them scrambled up with hands and feet, one in front and one behind, trying to climb onto it — making the other kids watching from the side green with envy.

Ye Chenghu sat on the back seat, both hands gripping the clothes on Ye Yaodong's body, his mouth split in a grin of delight.

"We're heading back first, you all take your time."

"Sitting steady?"

"Sitting steady, let's go, Dad." Ye Chenghu waved to everyone as he spoke.

The kids behind them were all green with envy — Third Uncle is so great, being Third Uncle's kids is so happy!

Ye Ye Chengyang was lifted up by Ye Yaodong and sat on the front bar, both hands gripping the handlebars in front, turning his head with a grin to look at Ye Yaodong. "Dad, you're so great! I like you so much!"

Ye Yaodong, hearing his child's unexpected confession, grinned broadly, glanced down at him, his right hand gripping the handlebar tightly while his left hand freed itself to ruffle the little head.

"Do you like me or your mom?"

"I like you both."

Ye Chenghu heard it and muttered softly behind him, "Suck-up!"

"You're going to get a beating when you get home — not coming home after school, running to the Tianhou Temple to watch the fun. Your mom's already scolding at home."

"Everyone went, it's not just me. And we still have to go to school in the afternoon, so we can't go play. Of course I had to go take a look first when school let out at noon — it's so lively over there… Dad… can I take the afternoon off from school?"

By the end of his sentence, Ye Chenghu's tone had lost some of its self-righteousness and taken on a pitiful, pleading quality instead.

"Don't you still want to score two 100s and go to the city?"

"It won't affect that. Last time I was only off by a little bit, and there's still the final exam!"

"Go ask your mom. I don't care either way — it's not my book you're reading. Go or don't, up to you."

"Then when Mom's about to hit me, will you block her for me?"

"Dream on! I'll definitely hand your mom the whip!"

Ye Chenghu pouted — he knew his dad was useless.

But he really did want to stay home and watch the opera. He was regretting it bitterly inside — if only he hadn't gone to school last year, he could have waited until September this year to start.

Tricked!

Tricked good!

He could clearly have played for another year or two — some people don't even start first grade until they're eight, but he was tricked into it at six. How infuriating!

Having to do homework every day is one thing, but now he can't even watch Goddess Mazu's festivities.

Unwilling to accept it, the moment he got home he steeled himself and, braving the risk of a beating, fawned at Lin Lin Xiuqing: "Mom, can I take half a day off this afternoon? I… my stomach feels a bit uncomfortable…"

"Uncomfortable? Then if you're uncomfortable, don't eat. Go lie down inside and clear out your gut — you've been eating too many good things lately, haven't you? Tomorrow I'll tell your dad not to give you any money, and not to buy you anything to eat either. We've been having fish and meat these past few days — you'll just eat vegetables."

"Huh?" Ye Chenghu knit his brows, his face a picture of conflicted bitterness, his mouth puckered up.

Lin Lin Xiuqing couldn't care less about him. After saying that, she glared at Ye Yaodong again. "Did you hear me? For the next few days, you're not allowed to buy him anything to eat. These days there will definitely be lots of vendors selling all kinds of snacks outside the temple fair. You're not to buy him a single thing."

Ye Yaodong grinned so wide his mouth nearly split to his ears. "Got it."

"Alright, let's eat." After saying that, Lin Lin Xiuqing patted Ye Chenghu's shoulder again. "Go back to your room and lie down to rest. Don't eat."

Everyone knew Ye Chenghu's little scheme. Not a single person paid him any attention. They all watched Lin Lin Xiuqing deal with him, then obediently sat down at the table together, leaving him standing there alone.

Ye Chenghu stood in place all by himself, on the verge of tears, unsure for a moment whether he should obediently go back to his room and lie down, or shamelessly sit down and eat.

"What are you doing? Go on. Why are you standing there like a fool? Get back to your room and lie down."

He rubbed his already-empty stomach and forced out a smile uglier than crying. "Mom, my stomach doesn't hurt anymore…"

"It doesn't hurt anymore? Well, it might start hurting again later. You'd better go lie down, just to be safe."

"It really… really doesn't hurt anymore…"

Lin Lin Xiuqing raised an eyebrow. "It really doesn't hurt anymore?"

"It really doesn't hurt anymore!"

"Fine then. Just stand there where you are."

Ye Yaodong nearly burst out laughing, but managed to hold it back just in time.

Of all the excuses he could have picked, he had to go with a stomachache.

Watching Ye Chenghu standing there with that pitiful look, he figured a good dad like himself ought to lend a hand.

"Maybe it was just a stomach cramp earlier, like he needed to poop? The feeling's passed now, so he doesn't need to go anymore?"

Ye Chenghu nodded rapidly, wanting to speak up, but his mother got there first.

"Then you go with him and keep him company while he poops. While you're at it, you can wipe his butt for him, save him from not getting it clean."

"Huh?"

He had only just picked up his chopsticks to eat, and she was telling him to go keep someone company while they pooped?

This time the old lady couldn't hold back her laughter. "You eat your food. Why bother with Chenghu?"

"Fine."

Ye's mother couldn't help but chime in: "Refusing to go to school properly, and you still want to take the day off to watch the fun? Your legs not getting broken is already a mercy. And you dare speak up for him? Making you go in and wipe his butt is already letting you off easy. Not making you go in and eat the hot food yourself is already a mercy."

Ye Yaodong shot his mother an annoyed sideways glance. "Food can't even shut you up. He's that big already—does he still need someone to wipe his butt?"

"What were you two up to last night? You didn't come back the whole night. Even thieves don't stay out that long. And you brought back a whole pile of barnacles and goose barnacles. We spent the whole morning prying them off, and they all smelled like diesel. We tried feeding them to the chickens, and even the chickens wouldn't eat them."

"Well forget it then. Carrying them back was just something we did along the way anyway. It wasn't any trouble."

"Prying them off wasn't any trouble? Where did you two dig them from? Pried them off a boat? In the middle of the night, you didn't sleep just to go clean barnacles off a boat? Have you eaten too much?"

Ye Yaodong exchanged a look with Ye's father. He hadn't expected his mother to have already guessed half of it…

Ye's mother looked suspiciously at the father and son. "You two have been sneaking glances back and forth with those shifty eyes. Are you hiding something from us? What on earth did you do last night? Did you really go clean a boat? But there wasn't any boat run aground on the beach either."

Ye's father pretended nothing was going on and said, "Let's eat first. Whatever it is, we'll talk about it when we get home."

"That's exactly what you said last night too. You've been saying it from last night till now, and I haven't seen you say a single thing once we got home. Snores, though—you've been sawing off a whole basketful of those." Ye's mother glared at him fiercely.

"Well, by the time I woke up, I didn't see you either. What was I supposed to say?"

"Fine, don't say it then. Never say it, ever."

But that wouldn't do. The father and son were still counting on casually dropping a few hints to his mother, letting her go brag everywhere first, so that in a few days they could openly and legitimately bring a boat back.

Still, they couldn't just brazenly drag this out for open discussion. They could only whisper a couple of words to each other at night by the pillow. After all, with a guilty conscience, anything they told her would be a lie anyway.