Chapter 190

"It was only that year that I understood the meaning of the saying, 'The child wishes to provide for the parents, but the parents are no longer there.'"

Tang An sat on the single-story house, and Yang Jian and the others all tacitly sat beside her, just like how they usually chatted and watched the stars on the roof.

Xiaotian Quan listened while wiping his tears with a handkerchief and asked uncomprehendingly: "You grew up with your grandmother? Then what about your parents? Did they not care about you later?"

This sentence once again triggered the red-eye effect in the other four.

"Parents?"

Tang An looked up at the sky and then down at the small courtyard.

"My mother, that is, my birth mother."

"She passed away from a massive hemorrhage during a difficult labor when giving birth to me."

She said this sentence very calmly, but her eyes were full of self-mockery.

This sentence could be said with anger, or said while crying until one collapsed, but the most frightening thing was to say it so plainly.

Because behind the so-called plainness was the amount of hardship she had experienced and the amount of struggle she had gone through. In the end, she could only helplessly face reality and admit her own mistakes.

Yang Jian and the others finally understood why Tang An had such a strong reaction when Yang Chan was giving birth.

She... was actually apologizing to her mother.

"This is not your fault." Nezha frowned and told Tang An very firmly.

Sun Wukong scratched his cheeks in anxiety and added: "Master, you must not dwell on it; human life and death are determined by Heaven, and they cannot be easily changed by human effort."

If it were now, he would certainly be able to go to the Underworld and save Master's mother.

But... but it was definitely too late now!

Yang Jian took out the Peace Talisman and handed it to Tang An. "This time, your Peace Talisman protected Third Sister, and she safely gave birth to the child."

Tang An took the Peace Talisman, the corners of her mouth barely lifting into a bitter smile. "Actually, all of this started because of me. It was I who almost caused the Three Holy Mother to have the same ending as my mother because of my own selfishness and a casual, indifferent game-like mentality."

Yang Jian frowned, not expecting Tang An to say this. "Chenxiang's birth was not something Chenxiang himself could choose. And this child was what Third Sister sought, and what I agreed to."

"Master, you are not wrong, really not wrong."

"But Chenxiang's birth was my choice." Tang An was so self-reproachful she felt weak, shouting this out hoarsely, which caught everyone off guard.

Tang An's bitter smile and self-mockery deepened. "Because of this choice, I even almost caused Chenxiang to be like me, pointed at by everyone from the moment he could remember."

"They all said it was me, the person who caused my mother's death."

"The name my mother gave me was Tang An, but they all called me a jinx, a harbinger of doom."

"The children in the village didn't want to play with me. They all said I was bad luck, the person who killed my own mother. Whoever got close to me would have bad luck."

"But when they were bullying me, teasing me, and even almost pushed me into the river to drown, they weren't afraid of getting close to me and having bad luck."

Tang An was angry, self-reproachful, and even more hateful of herself for almost becoming the executioner she hated most.

"Hmph!"

Hearing this, Sun Wukong jumped up in anger, always wanting to take his cudgel and hit something.

Nezha's fists were clenched tight, fire flickering in his eyes, killing intent permeating the air.

Only Yang Jian had eyes left with only heartache and empathy.

Because... he had also experienced the destruction of his family in his childhood.

"Chenxiang is fine, and my Third Sister is fine."

"They have me. Master, you also have us." Yang Jian's presence could always give people a sense of complete security.

Tang An looked up at the three of them, her eyes swirling, not knowing what she was thinking.

"But Master... what about your father? Did he not stand up to protect you?" In Yang Jian's impression, his father was someone who dared to stand up bravely.

"My... my father..." Tang An laughed, her smile filled with endless bitterness.

"My father was the first person to say I was a harbinger of doom, and it was he who left me at the hospital after I was born, not wanting me anymore."

The red light in Nezha's eyes could not be suppressed. "Where is he?"

If he could, Nezha would really kill someone right now.

Tang An pulled him to sit down. "I don't know, I have never had his image in my mind; it was Grandma who brought me back from the hospital."

"After I had memories, I also asked Grandma where my mom and dad went."

"Grandma only said they went to a very, very far place, and would come back when I grew up."

"Later... I was pointed at more and more, and only then did I know my mother passed away from a hemorrhage when giving birth to me."

"My father... I heard he is living quite well, has a new family, and even has a son."

Tang An asked Nezha with a miserable smile. "Now do you know why I dream of helping you steal the pagoda?"

"Because I can empathize, and even more so, I feel that an irresponsible father deserves to pay the price for it."

"But the reality is, not only did he not pay the price, he is living very well."

Tang An shrugged, a sense of deep powerlessness.

She was silent for a long time, seemingly not wanting to continue this topic, and pretended to smile easily.

"When I was little, the place I got beaten the most was in this small courtyard."

"Speaking of which, it also has something to do with you three."

"Us?" This was something the three of them never expected.

Tang An pointed to the dead tree. "That was a tree I planted specifically to make a bigger Golden Cudgel."

"I thought, if I became as powerful as Brother Monkey, would they not dare to bully me anymore?"

As she spoke, she looked at Nezha again. "When I was little, I also read many of your stories."

"Right is right, wrong is wrong; what should be fought back must be fought back. Even if I am covered in wounds, I will never take that cowardly insult."

"Even if no one understands me, even if they all isolate me, it doesn't matter."

"I, Tang An, can protect myself alone."

Speaking of this, Tang An seemed to see that little girl from before, who always clenched her fists, held back tears in her eyes, yet acted tough and refused to admit defeat.

"So, I fought too much when I was little and was always bruised and swollen; when I came back, Grandma would have to chase me with a small tree branch to beat me."

Tang An had a slight smile on her face, as if she saw herself being chased and beaten as a child again.

"Actually, I know she was worried about me, afraid that as a girl, I would be the one to suffer if I fought with others."

"The two of us depended on each other for survival; if I really had any mishap, she also... wouldn't be able to live."

On the roof, only silence remained.

After stabilizing her emotions, Tang An said: "Later, after watching the TV series about Erlang Shen, I also grew up and learned to use my brain."

"Yang Jian, my dark-bellied attribute is somewhat taught by you." Tang An laughed through her tears.

Rather than saying she was their master, it was better to say that the three of them laid the foundation for her inner world when she was young.

And precisely because of this, she did not fear the accumulation of causality and fought with all her might, just wanting to do something for them.

Yang Jian smiled and shook his head. "Then what about your love for money?"

Tang An tilted her head to look at the small courtyard. "I was very poor when I was little; I couldn't afford what I wanted, I had no money to buy it."

"Grandma relied on farming to earn some money, and she had to pay my tuition and provide for all my various food and clothing expenses."

"She could only work early and late to help others, do odd jobs, and take me to pick wheat during the summer vacation."

"At that time, the sun burned my skin until it hurt."

"I swore that if one day I grew up, I would definitely earn a lot, a lot of money."

"Enough money that I wouldn't have to pick wheat, could change to a big house, could have many, many toys, pretty clothes..."

Tang An looked at her Universe Bag. "Now, I have everything."

"But..."

"I really want to see Grandma one more time; I want to talk to her, I want to eat another meal of dumplings she made."

Tang An wiped away her tears, not wanting to be so sentimental. "You say, why are people so greedy?"

"Sometimes, they just want to get other things. Once those other things are obtained, they want to return to the bitter days they wanted to escape from the most."

"People... spend their whole lives, it seems, just picking up fallen flowers in the evening."