Chapter 185: I spend my life performing a play!

Su Ming's mind, in a flash.

He seemed to have grasped something——

A performance, if it could be carried to the extreme.

Extreme to the point that even the performer himself believes it without doubt, engraved into his marrow.

Extreme enough to distort reality, invert black and white, twist karma.

Then this 【performance】 itself isn't it transcending all reality……

【Reality】?!

"Heh!"

Su Ming suddenly laughed.

He surveyed the stage full of a feast formed from the flesh and blood of the 【Western Shu Madmen】.

Gazing at the ten altars emitting an eerie gloomy light, awaiting his feast.

In his deep eyes, a spark of near‑mad desire ignited.

"Since you invited me to start the feast, and you've eaten so well……"

"Enough! I'll give you a big gift!"

The moment his words fell.

The smile on Su Ming's face vanished.

That sense of playfulness, that teasing, that calm composure of toying with everything in the palm of his hand……

It was forcibly wiped from his face, bit by bit.

Inch by inch, it turned stiff.

The muscles of his face began to spasm uncontrollably, his pupils trembling wildly.

"Huu… huu… huu…"

Groundless fear, like a black flood bursting a dam, instantly engulfed him completely!

He began to breathe rapidly.

Each inhalation felt like swallowing scalding blades.

Pain!!!

Each exhalation carried a dying tremor.

He began to shake.

From his fingertips, to his arms, then his whole body.

He was afraid.

It seemed the black altar before him, formed from a faceless man, was no longer some heavenly opportunity……

but a nightmare that he could never escape in his lifetime, which would tightly entangle him whenever he woke at midnight!

"Uh……"

Su Ming squeezed out a painful groan from his throat.

His legs went weak, his knees slamming heavily onto the ground.

He propped himself with both hands on the dust‑covered stage, gasping violently.

Then.

He stretched out his trembling hands.

He carefully embraced the cold altar before him.

"Wu… wuu… wuu wuu…"

He was crying!

Not a earth‑shattering wail.

Only a repressed, extreme sob squeezed from deep in his throat, like a beast's whine!

He slowly pressed his face against it.

Pressed against that pure white, smooth surface, lacking any features……

yet it seemed to be mocking the world's mask.

Boom——

The bone‑chilling cold sensation made Su Ming's consciousness plunge into the boundless dark abyss in an instant!

……

Rainy night.

"Boom—!"

Lightning tore the sky, casting everything inside the house in a harsh white.

A frail, inexperienced youth was curled up in the corner of the sofa, hugging his knees.

The TV was on.

On the screen, a female anchor in uniform, her expression stern.

She was delivering the evening news in a mournful tone.

"Yesterday, our city suffered a serious traffic accident……"

"An out‑of‑control dump truck collided violently with a private car……"

"The dump truck driver died on the spot……"

"The couple inside the private car, upon confirmation, both died on the spot……"

"Currently, the victims' families' emotions are stable……"

Pa-da.

The black remote slipped from the youth's trembling hand and fell to the ground.

He wanted to breathe.

His lungs felt as if filled with cement, the pain almost suffocating him.

He wanted to stand up.

He wanted to go crazy and smash that buzzing TV!

He wanted to rush barefoot into the pouring rain outside and roar at that damned sky!

But his body felt as if all its bones had been sucked out…

Soft as a pile of mud!

He could do nothing.

He didn't even have the strength to make a sound.

Like an ant targeted by a giant with a scorching magnifying glass.

He could only watch helplessly as his world, his sky, his everything!

Burning, collapsing, shattering in the scorching light…

Fear, helplessness, and a bone-deep impotence completely devoured him.

He, is ruined!

…

Dawn broke, he used all his strength, dragging his body to pull the curtains.

To block that blinding, nauseating light.

Night fell, he turned on the TV again.

He let those images flicker before his eyes until the screen turned to snow.

The room's air began to grow stale.

Mixed with the foul smell of instant noodle soup and the sour rot overflowing from the trash bin.

He didn't care.

Like a walking corpse, curled up on the sofa, motionless.

Sometimes he would stare at the mold spots on the ceiling for a whole day.

Sometimes he would stare at the TV snowflakes for a whole night.

His mind was a blank, as if burned to ash.

Only when he was hungry to the point his stomach felt like countless hands twisting wildly.

Only then would he act like a robot programmed with a set routine.

Dragging his heavy steps, he walked into the kitchen.

Boil a pot of water, cook a bowl of noodles.

Then mechanically, numbly shove it into his mouth.

No taste.

Day after day.

…

Somewhere.

【Target shows no abnormal reaction.】

【All clues have been suppressed; he doesn't even have the courage to cause a disturbance, just locking himself in the room waiting to die.】

【Hah, such a waste, could actually be their child?】

【Say less! Such a blow, anyone would be ruined! Nothing to see!】

【The meaning from above is, that thing didn't manifest on him, so it's probably not our target.】

【Since he's a waste, just keep him.】

A cold voice pronounced the verdict.

【A living coward is far safer than a dead genius!】

【Let's go!】

…

He didn't know he had been easily sentenced by a group of lofty beings.

He just muddled through life.

Only each morning.

He dragged his numb body into the bathroom, looking at the mirror at his lifeless eyes, sallow complexion, greasy tangled hair…

His pupils would uncontrollably contract for an instant!

At that instant!

A strand of extremely fine golden light would struggle and flash in the deepest part of his pupil!

That is something innate to him!

It is his greatest secret!

It is a taboo he never mentions to anyone!

But now…

He must not think about it, must have no reaction.

He must forget it.

Bury it in the deepest cellar of memory, seal it, and never let it see light.

Because he remembers.

He remembers clearly!

It was that night before the car accident.

His usually stern father, for the first time, pulled him aside and drank half a bottle of white wine.

Both father and son were slightly tipsy.

"Xiao Ming..."

His father patted his shoulder, his eyes complex.

"Our family... isn't quite like other families."

"One must stay low‑key!"

"Also... stay up less playing on the phone; it's bad for the eyes."

"If you must play, remember to turn the light on."

Finally, his father, with hands covered in old calluses, gently touched the corner of his eye, each word deliberate.

"Protect your eyes!"

At the time, he thought his old dad was drunk, spouting nonsense.

But now...

He fully understands.

But he can do nothing.

He cannot show even the slightest abnormality.

He must not let those things hidden in the shadows, who treat lives like weeds, discover him.

He actually... knows everything!

Remembers everything!

So...

He must act.

He must forget!

Play a wrecked, irrecoverable waste, crushed by a sudden tragedy, worse than a dog.

Play an ordinary, pitiful orphan, mired in sorrow, unable to pull themselves out.

Use a lifetime to perform a play!

Even if the apocalypse arrives, an altar appears.

He sees the altar's inscription with these eyes for the first time...

His displayed shock...

Is also acted!

He deceived everyone!

He deceived those lofty 【Audience】!

He deceived himself!

This one‑man show.

Titled—

【Survival】!