[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"origin-saya-and-the-dragon":3,"chapter-saya-and-the-dragon-saya-and-the-dragon-chapter-162":6},{"origin":4,"title":5},"english","Saya and the Dragon",{"chapter":7,"nextChapterSlug":19,"prevChapterSlug":20,"totalChapters":21,"novelImage":22},{"id":8,"novel_id":9,"title":10,"slug":11,"index":12,"content":13,"wordcount":14,"created_at":15,"updated_at":15,"volume":16,"translator":17,"content_hash":18},1705149,2177,"Chapter 156: Divine Inspiration (Bonus)","saya-and-the-dragon-chapter-162",162,"\u003Cp>Right.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Day One of my Holy Revelation Quest™.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>First task?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Write the sacred scroll.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Like prophets do.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Like wise temple scribes with beards and back pain.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Like the blessed sluts of old who got visions and opened religions with nothing but eyeliner and attitude.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I’m sitting cross-legged under a scrubby acacia bush, parchment in my lap, stolen quill clutched in hand, tongue poking out as I write like destiny’s horny little vessel.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>This is it. My gospel.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>My sacred truth.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Myboobliest testament.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I dip the quill in the ink. The scroll is already smudged from earlier attempts, but that’s okay. Every holy book has edits.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I write:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“In the beggining thare was me.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And I was glorius. And nakad.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And the wourld saw me and sed: woah.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Dragon looms over my shoulder with a noise like thunder and disapproval having sex.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Beginninghas one g,” he rumbles.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I scratch it out. “That’s what I wrote.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“You wrote ‘beggining’ with two g’s, three n’s, and what looks like an accidental penis.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I squint. “Oh. Yeah. That’s a doodle. For emphasis.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He groans.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I keep going. I am onfirenow.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“And thus the Gods put boobs upon me, and behold they were most glorreous.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“You misspelled ‘glorious’ again.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I wave him off. “Artistic spelling.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“That’s not a thing.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Says you.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I lean over and start sketching two large breasts under the last line. They’re majestic. Uplifted. Slightly uneven but spiritually balanced.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“These,” I say with flourish, “are symbolic.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Dragon snorts. “One nipple looks like a lazy eye.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Divine asymmetry,” I snap.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He leans in. “You also spelled ‘gods’ as ‘goats.’”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I squint at the line.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“So?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He sighs.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I keep writing. This is goinggreat.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“And the Goats said unto me, ‘Go forth, peaches, and shake what thy mother and the temple madam gave you.’\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And I did.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“You’re going to get struck by lightning,” he says flatly.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Then the Peaple built statues. Big ones. Of me. Of my glory. Of my devine ass.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Divine. Not devine. And ‘people’ has an o. And statues don’t usually have—are those testicles?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“They’re metaphorical!” I snap. “Like... for abundance!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He rubs his temples. “Your holy scripture looks like it was illustrated by a drunk sailor in heat.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I beam at him. “I’m channelling.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He picks up a corner of the parchment and sniffs. “Is that wine?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I may have used it instead of ink for a bit. Spiritual wine. From my flask.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He stares. “The one labeled ‘don’t drink this it’s cursed’?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Well, now it’ssacredcursed.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I continue:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“And lo, she smote the tax collector, and sed: be gone you coin-thieving fiend, for mine bosom shall not be tithed!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Dragon lets out a long, suffering exhale. “Saya, this is not how religion works.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Are you a prophet?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“No.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Well then.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He leans down. “Are you aware you wrote ‘bosom’ with a z, an extra m, and a little heart above the i?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Branding.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He facepalms. “The gods are watching.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I blow a kiss at the sky. “They better be tipping.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The wind kicks up and blows sand across the parchment. My ink bottle tips over. The scroll rolls up and smears itself into a titty-and-dick Rorschach of divine confusion.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I sigh, then grin.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“It’s fine. I’ll start chapter two tomorrow.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The Dragon groans, lies down, and mutters, “This is how cults happen.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I nod proudly. “Exactly.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And I amsoready to be the high priestess of Absolute Nonsense.\u003C\u002Fp>",571,"2026-06-06T14:39:25.900Z",1,"novelbin.me","0173b9997d309c5563a6f06e77879a9f6cca5a826177d08cba4cffc1022d0270","saya-and-the-dragon-chapter-163","saya-and-the-dragon-chapter-161",228,"https:\u002F\u002Fnovelzhen.com\u002Fimages\u002Fcovers\u002Fsaya-and-the-dragon-cover.jpg"]