[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"origin-saya-and-the-dragon":3,"chapter-saya-and-the-dragon-saya-and-the-dragon-chapter-212":6},{"origin":4,"title":5},"english","Saya and the Dragon",{"chapter":7,"nextChapterSlug":19,"prevChapterSlug":20,"totalChapters":21,"novelImage":22},{"id":8,"novel_id":9,"title":10,"slug":11,"index":12,"content":13,"wordcount":14,"created_at":15,"updated_at":15,"volume":16,"translator":17,"content_hash":18},1705021,2177,"Chapter 205: Elderflower & Regret","saya-and-the-dragon-chapter-212",212,"\u003Cp>I woke up with the world spinning sideways and someone breathing like a dying donkey next to me.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>First red flag: I was in a bed. A real bed. With sheets. Not straw, not rocks, not moss.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Second red flag: my head was pounding like a temple drumline on fertility feast day. Magic hangover. The mother of all mana migraines. My chakras were not aligned. They were in open revolt.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Third and most terrifying red flag: the snoring.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I turned my head.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Regretted it instantly.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Oh no.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Oh no.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Oh sweet sweaty goatballs of Seebulba, no.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>There he was. The hedge wizard. That hedge wizard. The deranged, half-mummified, fully unhinged spell-farter who brewed love potions with old pickles and once tried to summon a familiar using a sausage link and erotic poetry.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And he was snoring.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Naked.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Well—almost naked.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He had one of those wizard nightshirts on. Unbuttoned. Wide open like a shipwrecked sail. His pale bony legs sprawled out, one foot twitching like it was still casting a spell in its sleep. A rogue wand was poking out from under his thigh. I hoped to all unholy entities it was literal.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Panic.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Not mild panic.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Full body, temple bells ringing, dragon is gonna murder me, what-did-I-drink-level panic.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I slapped my forehead. Regretted that too. Pain ricocheted behind my eyes. My mouth tasted like ash and mint. And was that… clove? Oh gods. I remembered. The mead. The glowing one. “Elderflower and Arcane Whimsy,” he’d said. Bastard forgot to mention it hits like a unicorn hoof to the spleen.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I lifted the blanket.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Immediately dropped it.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Why. Why was I not wearing pants. Or underwear. Why was I—\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Oh no.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Oh no no no no no.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Had I? With him?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I scanned the room. Saw my sandal in the fireplace. One earring on the stuffed possum head mounted on the wall. My favorite anklet was around his wrist like a trophy.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Oh gods. I was going to throw up. On the bed. On myself. On Maud, whoever the hell Maud was—he kept screaming her name halfway through the night. At least I hoped it was Maud and not Mordor. I couldn’t handle a cursed blood pact right now.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Please,” I whispered to no one. “Please tell me we just… talked. And he passed out. And I had a heatstroke. And this is a dream. A horrible, cabbage-scented dream.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The wizard snorted, rolled over, muttered something about “potion ingredients” and “thighs like prophecy.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I screamed internally.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Externally, I bolted upright and screamed externally.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then immediately collapsed again because the room did a full backflip and my head tried to escape through my ears.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I hate my life,” I moaned. “I hate my past. I hate my decisions. I especially hate wizards.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I needed clothes. I needed soap. I needed a reality purge.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And most importantly, I needed to get out of here before the Dragon found out and decided I needed exorcising via fire breath.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I rolled off the bed. Landed on a pile of dusty robes and something squishy.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A half-melted cheese wheel stared up at me.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Never again,” I swore, crawling toward my tunic like it was holy ground.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>From the bed, the wizard muttered, “Your aura’s still glowing, peaches.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I didn’t look back.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I just crawled faster.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The moment I managed to crawl halfway into my tunic—head in one armhole, tits dangling free, hair full of hay and regret—the wizard woke up.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>With a sound like a startled goose.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“YAAARRRGGH!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I froze. He sat bolt upright, legs flailing, robe flapping open like an angry clamshell.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then he saw me.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And screamed again. Higher this time. Less goose, more soprano banshee.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“NO. NO! YOU’RE NOT REAL!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He pointed a trembling finger at me, eyes bulging, face pale as parchment. “A hallucination. You’re a hallucination. A very detailed one with glistening—NOPE. Not looking. Not again.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I blinked at him from under my tunic hood. “You’re the one naked and screaming, old man. Don’t pin this on me.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“You speak,” he whimpered. “Oh gods. You’re real.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>His face contorted in horror.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“A real, naked, flesh-based, female human in my bed. Sweet Mother of Runes, what have I done?!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He covered his face with both hands. Peered through his fingers like a man watching his own doom unfold in slow motion.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“This is it. This is the end. They’ll know. The Guild will know. They always know.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He stumbled off the bed, tripping over a chamber pot and crashing into a bookshelf that sneezed out a dozen cursed scrolls. One exploded into confetti. Another hissed and scuttled away.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He didn’t notice.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Two hundred years of celibacy,” he wailed. “Gone. Gone! Do you know how hard I worked to cultivate that? Self-denial! Abstinence! Constant focus on the arcane path through the sacred method of—of—alcoholism!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I squinted. “You call that focus? You passed out face-first in your own soup.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“That soup was a potion of stamina!” he snapped, pointing a shaking hand at the cauldron still bubbling ominously on the hearth. “And anyway—it’s ruined now! Everything is ruined! My vows! My guild rating! My official hat privileges!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He paused.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Eyes locked on me again. He blanched.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Oh no. Oh no. You’re a succubus, aren’t you?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I cocked my head. “Excuse you?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Yes. Yes. It makes sense now. The breasts. The sinful thighs. The scent of peaches and shame. The laughter. Oh gods, the laughter. You’ve enthralled me.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Bitch, I am not a succubus,” I snapped. “I just have good skin and low standards.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He sank to his knees. “They warned me this would happen again. First the goat. Now this. I was banished for less!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I paused mid-button. “Hold up. Goat?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He let out a high-pitched sob. “It wasn’t like that! It was a familiar summoning. It wasn’t even fully corporeal!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I blinked slowly. “You tried to summon a goat and ended up naked in bed with me. That’s either an upgrade or a lateral move, depending on the lighting.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He wailed again.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I tied the sash of my tunic, stepped over a cursed book that tried to nibble my toe, and grabbed my sandals from the fireplace.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Relax, old man. I’m leaving.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“The Guild will smite me!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Well maybe don’t summon soup succubi and drink glowing mead next time, you old perv.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I thought you were a hallucination!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Yeah, well. I wish I was.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I stepped outside into the morning light, squinting like a mole dragged from a brothel basement. Somewhere in the trees, a bird sang. Somewhere in the distance, the Dragon was probably already sniffing the shame on the wind.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Behind me, the wizard screamed again.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“MAUUUUUD! I HAVE SINNED!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I stumbled down the crooked stairs of the wizard’s crumbling tower like a newborn foal with rabies. Every board creaked in protest. My ankle was tangled in a robe. My tunic was backwards. My left tit was definitely out.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hangover fog. Shame fog. Possibly real fog outside. Hard to tell.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I reached the warped wooden door, muttered a prayer to the gods of second chances and personal dignity, and yanked it open—\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>—and walked face-first into cleavage.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Not just any cleavage.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Succubus cleavage.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The kind that glows faintly. Smells like roasted figs and sin. The kind that once smothered me in a moonlit picnic under three kinds of silk.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Oh, peaches,” she said, voice like honey being poured over a dagger. “What a surprise.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I blinked up at her. “What. The fuck. Are you doing here?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She cocked her head, all lashes and smirk. “Working. Unlike some of us who seem to have taken a wrong turn into my assigned territory.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Assigned—wait—this tower? This deranged, soup-smelling disaster of a wizard is your mark?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She gave a dramatic sigh, stepped aside, and pulled a parchment from her corset. “Official Assignment Scroll. Signed by three imps and a mid-level contract demon. Seduction target: wizard. Goal: break vow of celibacy. Method: standard. Payment: commission per soul.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I stared. “You’re joking.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Peaches,” she purred, folding the scroll with a snap, “I do not joke about quotas. Do you know how hard it is to make sales in the hinterlands? There’s only so many goat-herders and shrine-boys worth corrupting out here.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I slapped my forehead. “Oh for fuck’s sake. I didn’t know he was your assignment! I thought he was just a weird old lush with soup breath and hallucinations.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“He is!” she snapped. “But he’s also mine. And now he’s been defiled by you, which means he’s technically no longer a ‘pure vessel of restrained lust,’ which voids the premium contract I was negotiating!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I threw up my hands. “We didn’t even—! I don’t think we—? Gods, I hope we didn’t!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She narrowed her eyes. “Did he scream ‘Maud’ during climax?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I flinched. “Yes.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She cringed. “Then yes. You did.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I turned and slammed my head gently against the doorframe. Once. Twice. Thrice.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Do you know what it pays per soul out here?” she continued. “Four silver. Four. I was gonna make this quick and clean. One night of hallucinated debauchery, a cursed biscuit, and poof—signed and sealed. But nooo, little Miss Wandering Lust-Elemental just had to come barging in and steal my mark.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I turned, eyes bloodshot. “Listen, tits-for-brains. I didn’t plan this. I was drunk. I was cold. And I thought he was asleep when I climbed into bed.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She scoffed. “And then you climbed him, apparently.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I hate you.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I worship your thighs but this is war.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>We glared.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then we both groaned.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She rubbed her temples. “You have any idea how hard it is to meet quota when half your marks are hermits or eunuch monks?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“You think I wanted to roll around with a necrotic old man who probably stores pickled salamanders under his bed?!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Some of us work on commission, peaches.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I spat a leaf out of my mouth. “Fine. How about I send you the next drunk paladin I meet? They’re usually brimming with sin and low on wisdom.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Throw in a bard and a virgin stableboy, and we have a deal.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Done.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She smirked. “You still smell like regret and mead.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I flipped her off and stumbled into the daylight.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Behind me, from the upper window, the wizard’s voice echoed down.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“MAAAAUUUUD! THERE’S TWO OF THEM!”\u003C\u002Fp>",1709,"2026-06-06T14:39:25.900Z",1,"novelbin.me","40269d956e26d5290ecbda5cc073a51816599745dcec4949500406f9837471c9","saya-and-the-dragon-chapter-213","saya-and-the-dragon-chapter-211",228,"https:\u002F\u002Fnovelzhen.com\u002Fimages\u002Fcovers\u002Fsaya-and-the-dragon-cover.jpg"]