Chapter 59: Yan Butgui's Social Death Scene

Jia Zhangshi was still locked in a stalemate with Yan Butgui, but Jia Dongxu, at home, had begun to worry.

"Huairu, go check the toilet to see why Mom's been in there so long and hasn't come back—don't let anything happen," Jia Dongxu called, waking the sleeping Qin Huairu.

"Okay," Qin Huairu said, groggy, got up, put on her clothes, and headed out.

"Mom, is that you?" Qin Huairu shouted from beside the toilet.

"Huairu, it's me," Jia Zhangshi replied.

"Dongxu's wife, save me!" Yan Butgui, hearing Qin Huairu's voice from inside the cesspit, shouted immediately.

"Mom, what's going on?" Qin Huairu, suddenly hearing a man's voice, dared not approach and asked Jia Zhangshi from afar.

"It's Yan Lao Kou—out in the middle of the night not sleeping, running to the women's toilet—you say he's a pervert? Well, now he's fallen into the cesspit," Jia Zhangshi said, gloating.

"Then hurry and call someone to pull him up—don't let anything else happen," Qin Huairu asked anxiously.

"Sure, then you go call for help," Qin Huairu agreed and headed toward the main courtyard.

"Hurry, someone come—Third Elder fell into the toilet, hurry and help!" Qin Huairu, panicking and forgetting it was still the middle of the night, shouted directly in the siheyuan.

Her shout was no small matter—it roused the entire siheyuan. Many people came out wearing their clothes, for such a lively event, nobody wanted to miss it.

"Qiangzi, Qiangzi," Li Bin was the first to hear the commotion, came over and knocked on Li Qiang's front door.

"What's up, Brother?" Li Qiang opened the door and asked.

"I just heard someone shouting—it sounds like Yan Butgui's in trouble; you'd better go check," Li Qiang, who had just become the Household Manager, said, adding that if something really had happened, he'd have a hard time explaining it to Director Wang.

"All right," Li Qiang said, shut the door, and followed Li Bin outside.

"Jia's sister-in-law, what's going on?" Li Qiang arrived at the central courtyard and saw many neighbors already up.

"Qiangzi, hurry and check the toilet—my mom said Third Elder ran to the women's toilet in the middle of the night and fell into the cesspit," the neighbors, who had called him Third Elder for years, said, accustomed to the nickname and unwilling to change it.

"Third Elder fell into the women's toilet cesspit?" He Yuzhu asked in surprise.

"Yeah, everyone hurry and take a look," Qin Huairu said anxiously.

"Don't dilly‑dally, everyone—hurry and look, pull Third Elder up," Li Qiang said, then led the way out; the others followed him in a mighty throng out of the siheyuan.

"Here, Yan Lao Kou is here," seeing people arrive, Jia Zhangshi excitedly waved at everyone, regardless of whether they could see her.

"Yo, it really is Third Elder, Third Elder, staying up this late instead of sleeping. You came here to take a bath?" As for He Yuzhu's mouth, it's just nasty.

Yan Butgui, seeing so many people by the cesspit, thought it was a massive scene of social death—he was so embarrassed he couldn't utter a word.

"Jiecheng, go find a bamboo pole, first pull your dad up, then we'll talk," Li Qiang ordered upon seeing Yan Jiecheng.

"Okay."

Not long after, Yan Jiecheng came running with a thick bamboo pole.

"Dad, hold on tight. We'll pull you up," Yan Jiecheng said, extending one end of the bamboo pole into the cesspool.

In the autumn of Sijiucheng, the night was still cold; Yan Butgui had been wearing a little cotton jacket when he came out, but now, soaked in feces, Yan Jiecheng alone couldn't budge him.

"Zhuzi, lend a hand," Li Qiang also stepped forward to help.

Yan Butgui clung desperately to one end of the bamboo pole; on this side, Yan Jiecheng, Li Qiang, and He Yuzhu all strained to pull him up.

But the bamboo pole was inherently slick, and with Yan Butgui's hands coated in cesspit filth, just as they'd pulled him halfway up came a "plop"—he fell back down. This time Yan Butgui wasn't so lucky; the filth in the cesspit went straight into his mouth.

Yan Butgui fell into the cesspit; the splash drenched Yan Jiecheng, who stood frontmost, from head to toe, and also got Li Qiang and He Yuzhu pretty splattered.

"Ugh," the neighbors recoiled from the sudden stench, some even vomiting; the smell was overpowering, and they couldn't fathom how Yan Butgui could endure down there so long without passing out.

"Jiecheng, this won't work—the bamboo pole's too slippery; go get a rope," Li Qiang told Yan Jiecheng again.

"All right," Yan Jiecheng replied, pinching his nose in resignation—after all, the one down there was his own father.

Yan Jiecheng returned with a rope as thick as a thumb; several people tossed one end into the cesspool, Yan Jiecheng's rope was long, Li Bin and a few other neighbors also came to help, and this time they easily pulled Yan Butgui up.

"Ah-choo!" Having surfaced, Yan Butgui shivered all over from the cold.

"Jiecheng, don't let your father into the courtyard yet, or you'll make a mess everywhere—first go fetch a few basins of water to rinse him off," Yi Zhonghai said.

"Okay," Yan Jiecheng, He Yuzhu, Li Qiang, and a few others returned to the siheyuan, those with basins took basins, those with buckets took buckets; after fetching the water, they ran back to the toilet and splashed it directly onto Yan Butgui.

Yan Butgui was already stiff from the cold; now, with the cold water dousing him, he lost his footing at once and collapsed to the ground.

"Old Yan, you all right?" Yi Zhonghai asked hypocritically, not knowing whether his suggestion was meant kindly or just to mess with Yan Butgui.

"I'm fine," Yan Butgui said, shivering.

After several buckets of water were poured, Yan Butgui was much cleaner—at least far better looking than when he'd just been hauled up.

"Head of the household, take off that cotton jacket and leave it outside—don't bring it back in, the stench is too strong," San Dama said.

"What if we leave it outside and it gets lost?" Yan Butgui, truly the sort who'd rather lose his life than his money, replied.

"Third Elder, don't worry—who'd be sick in the head to pick up that junk and take it home, not fearing being smoked to death?" He Yuzhu said with a laugh.

"All right," Yan Butgui thought He Yuzhu made sense.

"Kid's mom, tomorrow use a shoe brush to give this cotton jacket a good scrub," Yan Butgui said while taking it off.

"Third Elder, you're still hung up on that ratty cotton jacket?" Xu Damao asked, laughing.

"A poor man's three treasures: an ugly wife, nearby land, and a tattered cotton jacket—I've got no reason to throw mine away," Yan Butgui still couldn't bear to discard his ragged coat.

"You go back and change your clothes first; Jiecheng, go boil some water to wash your father," San Dama said.

"He really ought to be washed well—Third Elder's already marinated to the bone," He Yuzhu interjected from the side.

"Xu Damao, don't say it so disgustingly—will you still let me eat pickled vegetables from now on?" Jia Zhangshi was the first to retort.

"My slip, my slip," Xu Damao dared not offend Jia Zhangshi, so he hurriedly corrected himself.

Yan Butgui returned home, but San Dama wouldn't let him inside, making him wait at the door—the stench on him was simply too great; if he went in, the house would probably be uninhabitable.

Yan Butgui returned home, but the third aunts wouldn't let him inside; they just made him wait at the doorway. The smell on him was really too strong—if he went inside, the house would probably be unfit to live in.