Chapter 34

After Dong Xu left, Zhao Jianguo put the cowhide-paper-covered notebook into the drawer, and casually tore half of the vegetable bun from the oil paper wrapper and stuffed it into his mouth. The heat had long dissipated, the skin was a bit hard, but he still found it quite fragrant. In these times, having something warm to eat is already good, let alone it being a bun steamed by someone else's mother.

He sat at the table, chewing the bun while flipping through the rough sketch of the hydraulic platform he had just drawn, his mind never resting. Dong Xu had cleared this hurdle, taking the first step, but the Siheyuan game isn't won by moving just one piece. That old fox Yi Zhonghai relies not only on his apprentices but also on Sha Zhu, that "honest donkey". Year after year he funnels money and grain to the Jia family, repairs roofs and patches leaks, never hearing a word of thanks, instead earning the label "fool" for a lifetime.

Zhao Jianguo took a bite of the bun and thought: This person isn't truly stupid; he's been talked into it, willingly playing the mule and horse.

At noon the next day, he deliberately went to the cafeteria seven and a half minutes late. He knew Sha Zhu would be finishing up in the back kitchen at this time, so he could get his meal and enjoy some quiet. Sure enough, as soon as he entered, he saw that tall figure squatting at a small table in the corner, holding a coarse porcelain bowl of thin porridge with salted vegetable strips, slurping as he ate.

Zhao Jianguo walked over with his lunchbox, plopped down, and said, "Hey, no extra serving today?"

Sha Zhu glanced at him, smirking, "You still want me to give you an extra scoop every day? The section chief would say we're forming a clique if he saw that."

"That's not the case," Zhao Jianguo said, picking up a bite of stir-fried shredded potatoes, "Besides, who have you ever given an extra scoop to? Master Yi? The three Jia kids? Or yourself?"

Sha Zhu froze, his chopsticks hanging in midair, "What you're saying—whether I give someone an extra scoop or not—what's it to you?"

"It's none of my business," Zhao Jianguo said, lowering his head to shovel rice, "But yesterday I passed by the Jia household and heard the mother crying while holding her little daughter, saying the rice bin was empty. I wondered, you skim two catties of grain coupons from your wages each month and slip them over, while Master Yi earns more than you—so why have I never seen him spare even a penny?"

Sha Zhu frowned, "They're elders and his master—how can you expect him to pay for everything? Besides, even if he doesn't say it out loud, he surely keeps it in mind."

Zhao Jianguo smiled, didn't respond, and instead asked, "The last time you repaired the Jia family's roof beams, weren't all the nails and lumber bought by yourself? I remember you even borrowed a piece of angle iron from the Steel Rolling Factory, brought it back and cut it short to use. When Master Yi showed up, he just walked around, and when he left he hadn't even drunk a bowl of water, let alone lent a hand. Are you saying he went to supervise the work or to inspect the goods?"

Sha Zhu's hand, holding the vegetables, paused.

"If he truly cared for that family, why wouldn't he tell you, 'Sha Zhu, take a couple days off—I'll pay for a helper'? If he'd said that, you'd be a living Lei Feng. But he did nothing, just made you exert yourself, and now the whole courtyard calls you 'fool'. Does that reckoning seem a bit skewed?"

"Don't spout yin-yang nonsense here!" Sha Zhu put down his chopsticks, glared at him, "I'm happy to help people, what's wrong? Who in the courtyard doesn't know the Jia family is in trouble? If I don't help, are you expecting me to wait for you to help?"

"I didn't help, that's true." Zhao Jianguo nodded, "But I didn't just stand aside and let others do it. Think about it—if Master Yi really cared, with his seniority, could getting a hardship subsidy from the factory be difficult for him? It's just a matter of one sentence, yet you have to tighten your belt?"

Sha Zhu fell silent, lowered his head and stirred the porridge in his bowl, going round and round, as if counting rice grains.

Zhao Jianguo didn't press him either, ate his last bite of rice on his own, then pushed his lunch box: "Doing good isn't wrong, but don't keep doing it until you make yourself a sucker. You're the one putting up the money, you're the one putting in the effort, and you're the one who gets the 'fool' label. Meanwhile, they're highly respected, getting praise without missing a beat. Is this deal worth it?"

After saying that, he stood up, brushed off the rice crumbs on his pants, picked up his lunch box and left, leaving Sha Zhu sitting there alone, staring at the bowl of porridge that was quickly cooling, his brows knotted into a lump.

This meal took him over half an hour longer than usual to eat.

At night, Sha Zhu squatted on his own doorstep smoking, the ember in his pipe clearly dying. The courtyard had long since gone quiet, even the dogs had returned to their kennels. He kept turning over those few sentences from the day in his mind, like a fishbone stuck in his throat—he couldn't swallow it, couldn't spit it out.

Just then, footsteps sounded at the courtyard gate.

He looked up and saw it was Yi Zhonghai.

"Yo, Old Yi, it's this late and you're not sleeping?" Sha Zhu hurriedly stubbed out his cigarette and stood up.

Yi Zhonghai came over laughing, holding a half-bottle of strong sorghum liquor and two packets of five-spice peanuts. "Can't sleep, thinking about how you've been running around these past two days without even a sip of wine—I, as the senior elder, ought to come keep you company for a chat."

Saying that, he didn't wait for an invitation, plopped down on the other side of the doorstep, twisted open the bottle and poured into his own small cup, then handed it over: "Come on, warm yourself up."

Sha Zhu took it, but didn't drink, instead asking: "How do you know I haven't had any drink today?"

"How could I not know you?" Yi Zhonghai patted his shoulder, "You're kind-hearted, just too honest. One sentence from someone else and you pour out your heart. I'm just afraid you'll be led around by words, so I hurried over to chat."

Sha Zhu lowered his eyes to the swaying liquor in the cup, hesitated a moment, then spoke: "Jianguo told me today… you've never given the Jia family any money."

The smile lines on Yi Zhonghai's face froze, then he burst out laughing: "You kid, just talking nonsense! As a master, how could I compare to you in that? What does he know? I've been helping behind the scenes—how could I go around shouting about it? Besides, my salary is high, but my expenses are big too, and I still have to support your Aunt who's ill. You're different—you're a bachelor (and you even forgot He Yushui), with no burdens, helping out is a favor, not helping is your duty. But since you helped, everyone says you're righteous."

Sha Zhu grunted an acknowledgment, didn't rebut.

Seeing Sha Zhu not respond, Yi Zhonghai hurriedly added: "Besides, if you really care about this, let me ask you—if I were to retire, who would be the head of this Siheyuan? Could the position of senior elder go to someone else? You, Sha Zhu, are the next in line; I've already let the word slip to everyone. As long as you hold steady, from now on, who in the courtyard would dare not listen to you?"

Sha Zhu lifted his eyes and glanced at him, his gaze a bit wandering: "Senior elder… could it really go to me?"

"How could that be fake?" Yi Zhonghai patted his chest, "This old body of mine isn't just clearing the way for you? If you listen to outsiders stirring things up and turn against me, that would truly be foolish. That Zhao Jianguo kid has plenty of schemes, cozying up to you—who knows what he's after?"

Sha Zhu lowered his head, rubbed a finger on the rim of his cup, then suddenly asked: "And… the money He Daqing sent, you really didn't receive it?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, he himself was stunned.

Yi Zhonghai's smile froze, and the cup in his hand almost slipped.

"What? What money?" His voice a little tight, "Who's He Daqing? He hardly ever sends letters… who did you hear this from?"

Sha Zhu shook his head: "No… nobody said it. I just asked offhand."

Yi Zhonghai let out a breath of relief, quickly changed the subject: "Hey, look at you, did the wind blow your brains out? Always thinking about these nonsense things. Come on, drink, drink, you've got work tomorrow."

He lifted his cup, downed it in one gulp, then poured himself another, his movements noticeably quicker than before.

Sha Zhu didn't move, just stared as the liquor flowed from the bottle's mouth into the cup, drop by drop, as if measuring time.

Yi Zhonghai took two sips, seeing Sha Zhu still not raising his cup, he smiled and stood up: "All right, it's getting late, you should rest early. Remember, we're all in the same boat—don't believe a word from outsiders, or you'll chill your own heart."

Sha Zhu grunted an acknowledgment, saw him to the courtyard gate.

The gate closed, he stood where he was, unmoving, still clutching that now-cold cup in his hand.

The courtyard was pitch black, only a crescent moon above the skywell casting a glint on the enamel basin beside the water tank.

He lowered his gaze to the cup in his hand, suddenly feeling it was absurdly light, as if it were empty.

He turned and went back inside, left the cup on the table, neither washing it nor putting it away.

The next noon, Zhao Jianguo went to the canteen to eat as usual.

When Sha Zhu served himself rice, his gaze swept over Zhao Jianguo—he said nothing, and didn't discreetly scoop him an extra spoonful as he usually did.

But when he turned to leave, he quietly said: "Those beams in the Jia family's house… actually could hold up for another two years."

Zhao Jianguo stopped in his tracks, turned his head to look at him.

Sha Zhu didn't lift his head, eyes fixed on the big spoon in his hand, voice low: "Back then… I just wanted to lend a hand. But now I wonder—is there someone just waiting for me to step up and take the burden?"

Zhao Jianguo didn't smile, didn't respond, just nodded, then walked off holding his lunch box.

Sha Zhu stood where he was, the slice of meat on his spoon hovering in the air for a few seconds, then he ended up dumping it all into Zhao Jianguo's lunch box.

He stared at the glistening meat slice, murmuring: "This time… it's not because you helped the Jia family fix their house."

Zhao Jianguo walked back to the table, lowered his eyes to the meat in his lunch box, and didn't move his chopsticks.

He heard someone entering the canteen doorway behind him, heavy footsteps—like Yi Zhonghai's.

He didn't turn his head, just slowly picked up a piece of meat with his chopsticks and put it in his mouth.

The meat was a bit salty, but as he chewed, he began to taste something else.