Chapter 21: Hell Joke: Why is the actor of Wu Song Ding Haifeng?

"Isn't this nonsense? Share or not?"

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie said and was about to withdraw his hand.

"Share, of course I want to share!

This is the core function of our shared space; we can't let it become a display."

Yitian Zhang Jie pounced like a fierce tiger, grabbing Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie's hand tightly.

"Yi! Daoist, I have succeeded! Fellow Daoist, I have succeeded!"

Yitian Zhang Jie, possessing the full experience of Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie, was intoxicated.

"Disgusting!"

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie threw away Yitian Zhang Jie's hand.

After a while, Yitian Zhang Jie opened his eyes, full of aftertaste:

"As expected of a world-renowned beauty, just one word from Brother 'Add Money'!"

At the same time, Yitian Zhang Jie gave Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie a thumbs up.

What he learned more from Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie's performance was knowledge.

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie: Can this be blamed on me? It can only be blamed on those literati.

I just criticized it properly.

……

"Looking at the entire *Water Margin*, only this one brother can suppress this Tai Sui God.

And only this one brother can push the Wu Song who could beat a tiger!"

Recalling the scene of Wu Song and Wu Dalang meeting, Yitian Zhang Jie sighed.

"Haha, and only the actor of this brother is truly capable of fighting and knows martial arts."

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie thought of the old version of *The Water Margin* and laughed.

"Indeed, that dwarf master has real kung fu."

Yitian Zhang Jie, who also had the memory of the old version of *The Water Margin*, echoed.

I heard that at the time on the filming set, the dwarf master who played Wu Dalang

was actually the martial arts instructor for Ding Haifeng, the actor of Wu Song!

"You say, what would happen if I beat Wu Dalang in front of Wu Song?"

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie, with an open mind, made a joke.

"You would die with a sense of rhythm."

Yitian Zhang Jie said gloomily.

Who doesn't know that Wu Dalang is Wu Song's only reverse scale?

Provoking Wu Song himself might give you a chance to live, but bullying Wu Dalang will definitely bring Wu Song's full pursuit.

In *The Water Margin*, everyone who participated in killing Wu Dalang was sent to hell by Wu Song:

After Wu Song found out the truth, he killed Pan Jinlian with his own hands, executed Ximen Qing, and avenged his brother.

The old woman Wang, who pimped for Ximen Qing and Pan Jinlian, was sentenced to capital punishment by the government.

"Haha, I don't know if Wu Song beating a tiger is true or not,

but Ding Haifeng really exchanged a few moves with a tiger."

Yitian Zhang Jie grinned.

"Haha, the special effects were too poor at the time; the crew actually found a real tiger to 'act' as a tiger."

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie thought of the behind-the-scenes footage released later,

and Ding Haifeng, whose legs were scared soft, also laughed.

Ding Haifeng: Really thank the crew; I might not be the Tai Sui God, but they are truly living Yama.

A hell joke: Why is the actor of Wu Song Ding Haifeng?

Because the Haifengs before him—A, B, and C—had already fed the tiger full...

Tiger: You, you don't slide-shovel anymore. I really, really can't eat anymore...

"Speaking of which, aren't you going to teach Song Qingshu a lesson? Why haven't you taken action yet?

Brother, your efficiency is too low!"

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie remembered what Yitian Zhang Jie had said before and said with disdain.

Speaking of which, he had already sent Ximen Daguanren to the underworld first,

and then went to Wild Boar stronghold to send the group of bandits led by Wang Chuang to see the King of Hell.

During this time, he even found time to "eat" Pan Jinlian.

As a result, Yitian Zhang Jie hadn't even taught a lesson to Song Qingshu, who was on the same mountain, in the same temple,

and was shaking around him.

Even an eighty-year-old lady on the road wouldn't be this slow, right?

Yitian Zhang Jie spread his hands helplessly:

"Wudang Mountain is not Wild Boar stronghold, which has almost no order,

and Song Qingshu is not Ximen Daguanren, who was slapped to death by you.

And I am not like you, Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie, who has no elders to manage you; I still have my master, Yu Lianzhou!"

Yitian Zhang Jie expressed that Wudang Mountain was not a place to do whatever one wanted,

Song Qingshu was not someone he could do whatever he wanted to,

and he was not the unscrupulous Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie who could do whatever he wanted.

"Alright."

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie thought about it slightly and found that it was indeed the truth Yitian Zhang Jie said.

Although Song Qingshu was a clown who targeted him and opposed him,

he wasn't an enemy to the death, at least not yet.

Yitian Zhang Jie couldn't just find a remote corner and kill him.

Song Qingshu's behavior was like the number-one student who was closely chased by the number-two student

when they were in school before they traveled.

The number-one student was afraid that the number-two student would take his first place,

but because of the attention of experience and teachers, he didn't dare or couldn't use too despicable means.

He had to point at the subjects where the second student was deficient and mock him hard.

While hitting the second student's confidence, he showed his superiority as the first to other students and teachers.

To the second student, the number-one guy was disgusting,

and his means could be said to be quite despicable, but it wasn't a capital offense.

At least it hadn't reached the point where the second student had to assassinate the first guy just to vent his anger.

"Soon it will be the semi-annual martial arts competition on Wudang Mountain;

I will definitely make Song Qingshu, this clown, look good!"

Yitian Zhang Jie stated his plan.

He wasn't a good person who returned evil with good, only remembered kindness and not hatred.

He was just an ordinary person who repaid kindness and must repay hatred, even a bit vengeful.

Actually, to be honest, he didn't quite understand Song Qingshu either.

He hadn't shown any intention of being the senior brother,

or wanting to be the third-generation successor of Wudang, so why target him?

Was it just because Zhang Jie's martial arts were about to surpass him?

But his master, Wudang Second Hero Yu Lianzhou's martial arts were higher than his father, Wudang First Hero Song Yuanqiao's,

and the person in charge of Wudang now was not his father, Song Yuanqiao.

It could only be said that Song Qingshu inherited Song Yuanqiao's martial arts aptitude,

and inherited Song Yuanqiao's appearance (Song Yuanqiao was also a handsome man when he was young,

and Song Qingshu was known as the Jade-Faced Meng Chang), but he just didn't inherit Song Yuanqiao's IQ.

If he could learn more from his father Song Yuanqiao's gentleness and generosity,

who else in Wudang could challenge his position as the senior brother?

After all, Yitian was just a martial arts world,

not a Xianxia world where one could fight a country alone and live forever,

and there were no great benefits that only the senior brother could get, like Foundation Establishment Pills.

Zhang Jie wouldn't want to worry about this!

Even for power, with Wudang's mere hundreds of people, what power was there to speak of?

If he had that energy, Zhang Jie might as well go to Bright Peak to find the *Great Shift of Heaven and Earth* and be the leader of the Ming Cult!

It could only be said that IQ and self-knowledge were both good things, and Song Qingshu seemed to have neither...

"OK. Since you have a plan, then do it according to your idea."

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie expressed that he looked forward to Yitian Zhang Jie's wonderful performance.

After finishing this topic, the conversation between the two began to lean toward chatting.

"Speaking of which, what do you think of pre-made dishes?"

Thinking of his thoughts when drinking chicken soup, Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie asked.

Yitian Zhang Jie, who was interested, instantly turned into a drama king,

learning the tone of Lin Kun, the big flour merchant played by Andy Lau in *Protégé*:

"I really don't understand, the oil smoke of freshly stir-fried dishes is so heavy, what's so good about it?"

"Hmph~"

Yitian Zhang Jie said, and took a heavy breath.

"What about pre-made dishes?"

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie learned from the undercover agent A-Zu and asked in A-Zu's tone.

Yitian Zhang Jie deliberately turned his head and glanced at Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie.

"Why? Why do people eat pre-made dishes?"

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie continued to ask.

"Sigh~ I don't know, and I don't want to know.

Catering is about supply and demand; if someone buys, someone sells!"

Yitian Zhang Jie sighed and continued:

"Fresh stir-fry might also use zombie meat; isn't someone still eating it?

Did I do any publicity? I didn't!

It's not like I forced them; I didn't force them!

What does it have to do with me?

It's fundamentally their own fault; it's fundamentally their own fault; what does it have to do with me?"

Yitian Zhang Jie finished, and held his forehead with his hand.

"Why? Did you meet someone who eats high-priced pre-made dishes?"

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie hurriedly denied: "No, I'm just curious."

Yitian Zhang Jie said in a warning tone: "Let me tell you,

those who eat high-priced pre-made dishes care most about face."

"Once their sense of superiority comes up, what can't they say, what can't they do?

Don't ever get involved with these people, otherwise you'll think you did something wrong, as if you cheated them.

It's fundamentally their own fault; it's fundamentally their own fault!

They don't place orders, they don't place orders, what can we do?

I can't do anything."

Yitian Zhang Jie became more excited as he spoke.

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie, seeing this, hurriedly comforted:

"Why are you so angry?"

"Isn't it their fault? Also, where do I have fire (anger)?

Crazy!"

Yitian Zhang Jie denied it flatly.

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie learned the broadcast tone of Hong Kong radio:

"This afternoon, Fatty Luo, according to a tip-off,

seized a large batch of pre-made dishes in a stir-fry restaurant on the fourth floor of a shopping mall.

Preliminary identification, it is the Brazilian steak that Emperor Qianlong cried to eat when he was a child.

This case is the second-largest antique case since the opening of the port in Hong Kong.

The following is a clip provided by a warm-hearted citizen:

In this back-kitchen production, the chef unpacked a large amount of pre-made dishes,

and then placed them in a microwave oven to heat, with a total time of less than two minutes.

According to news received by this station, the restaurant insisted that

their frozen dishes were not pre-made dishes, but came from a central kitchen.

But most of the masses do not recognize this statement."

Yitian Zhang Jie waved his hand and laughed:

"Hehe. I only sell, I don't touch it myself!

This thing is bad for your health if you touch it too much."

Yitian Zhang Jie nodded: "Indeed, Boss Jia himself doesn't touch it.

In the video, Boss Jia said he eats what the auntie makes every day and doesn't go to his own shop to eat."

The sheep that had been dead for a year found the King of Hell:

Why can't I reincarnate after a year?

The King of Hell flipped through the Book of Life and Death: Your flesh is not yet completely destroyed; one leg is still frozen in the Northwest.

Sheep: "..."

……

Yitian Zhang Jie thought about it and touched his chin:

"I think Luo

Everyone says he hammered the Northwest to death, but in reality, he hasn't officially started hammering yet.

He hasn't even finished collecting the evidence, and the bounty hasn't even been paid out.

Instead, that founder of the Northwest, in the process of opening up their kitchen to the public,

exposed a pile of problems and PR-ed themselves to death; truly a god-tier person.

This incident is equivalent to Old Luo complaining about the Northwest's pre-made dishes and currently collecting evidence to hammer them.

As a result, before the evidence was even fully collected, Northwest went through a series of operations,

stinking themselves up, and then issued an apology statement.

The most speechless part is that after it was all over, the founder actually accused Old Luo of being an internet gangster; it was truly hard to endure."

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie commented with deep conviction:

"When it comes to self-destructing trucks, no one is faster than Boss Jia."

Heaven-Dependent Zhang Jie had a flash of inspiration: "I plan to open a 'Northeast' next to Northwest.

The dishes Northwest can't stir-fry, I, Northeast, will stir-fry; the soups Northwest can't boil, I, Northeast, will boil.

In a word, the dishes Northwest can make, I, Northeast, will make; the dishes Northwest can't make, I will make even more.

Fresh ingredients, stir-fried the same day—this is Dongbei!"

Heaven-Dependent Zhang Jie said this while pretending to be aloof.

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie was amused: "When it comes to the Eastern Depot's top flower."

After finishing his complaints about a certain fake, Heaven-Dependent Zhang Jie said with great disdain:

"Ugh!

You actually attribute the factor of your overwork to my lack of effort in practicing martial arts!

You really know how to shirk responsibility!"

He had just seen Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie's complaints after washing up this morning.

And what was that about "rather than wronging yourself, it's better to make things difficult for others"?

Please, wasn't the one being made difficult by him also Zhang Jie?

"Hey hey hey~ this is just about saving face."

Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie was righteous and confident, not feeling embarrassed at all.

"Fine then~"

Facing such a shameless Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie, Heaven-Dependent Zhang Jie couldn't find anything to say.

Could he beat him up?

But they were one and the same; hitting Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie was hitting himself.

After staying in the shared space for a few more hours and seeing that no new Zhang Jie had appeared,

the bored Heaven-Dependent Zhang Jie and Water Shui Hu Zhang Jie bid each other farewell and returned to their respective worlds.