Chapter 37: The Shandong Man Who Enjoyed Happiness All His Life

“Hmm, the Jinan provincial examination is about to begin.”

Zhang Jie from the Heaven’s Edge world checked the timeline of the Water Margin world and found it had already reached August.

There were only a few days left before the triennial provincial examination.

“By the way, do you have a chance at becoming the top scorer?”

Zhang Jie from the Heaven’s Edge world asked with great interest.

After all, although he and the Water Margin Zhang Jie lived in different worlds, both were born under the Great Song dynasty.

Moreover, the Water Margin Song dynasty was decades later than the Heaven’s Edge Song dynasty.

That meant if Zhang Jie from the Heaven’s Edge world wanted to take the imperial exams,

he could simply copy past high-scoring exam papers from the future!

At the very least, he could borrow the Water Margin Zhang Jie’s exam papers.

Zhang Jie from the Heaven’s Edge: I don’t write the answers—I’m just the paper courier~

But he only entertained the thought briefly.

The path of the imperial exams was already taken by the Water Margin Zhang Jie; walking it again held no appeal.

Were the Northern Darkness Divine Art and the Lingbo Microstep not appealing enough?

Were Wang Yuyan, A Zhu, and A Bi not beautiful enough?

He was a promising young man who intended to model himself after Prince Duan Zhengchun!

He didn’t ask whether the Water Margin Zhang Jie had any confidence in passing.

Before the shared space existed,

the Water Margin Zhang Jie had invested all his attribute points into spirit,

granting him near-photographic memory—a natural-born scholar.

Now that the shared space had arrived, it was like adding wings to a tiger.

Photographic memory, reciting texts backward—those were basic skills by now.

If such an ultimate expert failed the imperial exams, who else could possibly pass?

Even if this Jinan provincial exam was unusually obscure and the Water Margin Zhang Jie had never seen such questions,

he still had one final trump card—searching the shared space for materials.

The shared space had no books, but didn’t it have him and the Heaven’s Edge Zhang Jie?

The provincial exam lasted three full days—plenty of time for them to search separately.

Water Margin Zhang Jie: Regardless of anything, this exam is three worlds against one—advantage is ours!

“Passing is a sure thing, but becoming top scorer isn’t guaranteed.”

The Water Margin Zhang Jie replied after a moment’s thought.

“That’s true.”

The Heaven’s Edge Zhang Jie nodded in agreement.

Just as the top scorer was chosen personally by the Emperor, the top provincial candidate was selected by the examiners.

That meant writing an excellent essay was one thing; pleasing the examiners was another.

If the examiners disliked your writing, unless you penned something as legendary as Wang Bo’s “Ode to Tengwang Pavilion” or Hai Rui’s “Memorial on State Security,”

you’d be rejected outright.

Otherwise, if they said you failed, you failed.

At this time, the chief examiner bore a certain resemblance to the couplet written by Yang An, the Champion Marquis from the Spirit Realm:

“If they say you can, you can—even if you can’t.

If they say you can’t, you can’t—even if you can.”

Of course, the chief examiner’s power paled in comparison to that of the Champion Marquis Yang An,

who had dominated ten thousand miles of foreign lands and stood supreme among a million soldiers.

He could only promote those scholars he favored and who met his own standards.

Fan Jin from “Fan Jin Passes the Exam” succeeded only because his examiner admired his writing,

otherwise he would have failed until death without ever earning a degree.

“By the way, don’t write anything taboo in your exam paper.”

The Heaven’s Edge Zhang Jie seriously warned the Water Margin Zhang Jie.

Since the Water Margin Zhang Jie still intended to take the exams, he must not write anything about rebellion,

insurrection, or cursing the Emperor’s eighteen generations of ancestors.

And since he was one with the Water Margin Zhang Jie, he already knew the Water Margin Zhang Jie had long resented

a certain emperor who claimed “everything except being emperor, I excel at music, chess, calligraphy, and painting.”

“Naturally,” the Water Margin Zhang Jie nodded.

He resented that frivolous, unfit ruler who only cared for eating, drinking, pleasure, cuju,

and playing music, chess, calligraphy, and painting—but he was a rational man.

He understood the nine-character strategy of Emperor Taizu Zhu Yuanzhang: “Fortify walls, stockpile grain, delay proclaiming kingship.”

His resources were still insufficient, his foundation still shallow—this was not yet the time to reveal his grand ambitions.

To reveal them now, while not quite like Zhao Kuangyin applying a face mask—white Song—was close enough.

He had martial arts, but could not stand against an entire army; he could defend himself,

but could not protect close ones like Pan Jinlian and the old steward.

After discussing their urgent matters, the shared space conversation turned lighthearted.

“By the way, since you’re a Shandong man in this life, you must be very happy.”

The Heaven’s Edge Zhang Jie smiled faintly and suddenly said to the Water Margin Zhang Jie.

“Huh?”

The Water Margin Zhang Jie was momentarily baffled.

Why would being a Shandong man make him happy?

He wasn’t even surnamed Kong, not some descendant of Confucius who had feasted on the title of Duke Yansheng for millennia.

“Hah!

Let me tell you about the Shandong man who enjoys happiness all his life.”

The Heaven’s Edge Zhang Jie bit back his laughter and explained the joke to the Water Margin Zhang Jie.

Shandong villager: “The village’s five-guarantee household has passed away.”

Other Shandong villagers: “He’s gone to enjoy happiness over there.”

Shandong villager: “The village’s richest man has passed away.”

Other Shandong villagers: “He enjoyed happiness here, now he’s enjoying it over there.”

Shandong villager: “Zhang San’s son works away from home, never returns.”

Other Shandong villagers: “He’s enjoying happiness—his son earns big money abroad.”

Shandong villager: “Li Si’s son has no job, stays home all day.”

Other Shandong villagers: “He’s enjoying happiness—better to have children at home than ten thousand taels of gold.”

Shandong villager: “Er Dan moved to the city.”

Other Shandong villagers: “He’s gone to enjoy happiness in the city.”

Shandong villager: “Tie Zhu came home after working away.”

Other Shandong villagers: “He made money, came home to enjoy happiness.”

Shandong villager: “Gou Dan suddenly died of illness.”

Other Shandong villagers: “He enjoyed happiness—he passed without suffering.”

Shandong villager: “Ma Zi, paralyzed for ten years, died yesterday.”

Other Shandong villagers: “He didn’t enjoy happiness here, now he’s enjoying it over there.”

Shandong villager: “I’ll chat later—I’m heading home.”

Other Shandong villagers: “Alright, go home and enjoy happiness.”

…

“Uh!

That’s like when I was single and couldn’t find a wife: enjoying happiness at home.

When I got married: enjoying happiness at home with my wife.

When my wife got pregnant: warm bed, wife and child—enjoying happiness.

When my wife had a natural birth: delivered naturally—enjoyed happiness.

When my wife had a C-section: doctor helped—enjoyed happiness.

When my child started kindergarten: sent to school—began enjoying happiness.

When my child was getting married: child is starting a family—began enjoying happiness.

When my grandson was born: I’m a grandfather—began enjoying happiness.

When I died: I enjoyed happiness my whole life???

Is this what they call ‘happiness as vast as the Eastern Sea’?”

The Water Margin Zhang Jie exclaimed in shock, firing off this rapid-fire monologue.

"Haha, he spent a lifetime enjoying blessings here, and now he’s gone to enjoy them over there."

Zhang Jie from the Heaven Sword added enthusiastically.

"If Zhang San broke the law and got arrested, is he now enjoying himself in prison?"

Zhang Jie from Water Margin couldn’t help but retort.

"Prison has a regular schedule, light meals, daily study,"

"skill improvement, reformation, becoming a new person—it’s a blessing."

Zhang Jie from the Heaven Sword nodded firmly.

"No, no, no—Zhang San enjoyed blessings he wasn’t meant to, and now he’s reaping the consequences."

Zhang Jie from the Dragon Gate chuckled and corrected Zhang Jie from the Heaven Sword.

"What’s this New Century Evangelion?" Zhang Jie from Water Margin kept complaining.

Could it be that Shandong should really be called Fujian?

No wonder it’s a top province for civil service exams—every word is perfectly measured.

Zhang Jie from the Heaven Sword: "This is called polite consolation, or high emotional intelligence, or helping others find joy."

"I say a few kind words—I lose nothing, you feel better, why not?"

Zhang Jie from the Dragon Gate sighed:

"Simple people bless every one who departs, and comfort every one trapped in the present."