Chapter 5

At night, Zhang Jie, who kept the habit of going to bed early and rising early, lay in bed and fell into sleep.

Zhang Jie helplessly spread his hands: in this ancient world without mobile phones, without computers,

without the internet, without any electronic devices,

at night, besides sleeping, there was nothing but making love.

Zhang Jie looked down at his own slender but frail dog-like body, and couldn’t help thinking of a saying:

“Can you even do it, skinny dog?”

“Huh, where am I?”

In his sleep, Zhang Jie suddenly found himself in a place beyond description.

It seemed infinitely vast and infinitely small, perfect yet shattered,

containing sun, moon, stars, and cosmic rivers, yet utterly empty.

He seemed to see a giant splitting chaos to create heaven and earth;

a Daoist reclining on the ninth layer of clouds in a palace inscribed with the three ancient characters “Zixiao Palace,”

teaching the Dao to three thousand indistinct beings;

a mysterious figure shifting endlessly—old man, child, youth, warrior—

demon, god, and human—all gazing upon past, present, and future!

“Wake up! Wake up!”

Suddenly, a voice that felt strangely familiar echoed beside Zhang Jie’s ear.

Zhang Jie slowly opened his eyes and found himself lying on a vast square stretching beyond sight.

Before him stood a fitness enthusiast whose strong build was evident even through his loose dark-blue Daoist robe.

“Who are you?”

Zhang Jie asked, puzzled.

Somehow, he felt an intense closeness to this young man,

as if they were blood brothers, born of the same father and mother.

No—closer by a thousandfold, ten thousandfold—as if they were meant to be one single being!

“Stop hesitating. Let’s share first.”

The Daoist youth did not introduce himself, but extended his right hand toward Zhang Jie.

Zhang Jie, who hadn’t shaken hands with anyone in over a decade,

instinctively reached out his right hand to clasp the youth’s.

He was surprisingly familiar, extending his right hand to shake the Daoist robe youth’s hand.

We’re both Zhang Jie!”

Moments later, Zhang Jie—or rather, the Water Margin Zhang Jie—exclaimed.

It turned out that after being crushed into 2D by fate,

they had inexplicably split into countless copies, reincarnated across countless worlds.

The Daoist youth before him was the Zhongtian Zhang Jie, reincarnated into the world of The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber!

Zhongtian Zhang Jie was the first to arrive in this mysterious space.

From his memories, Water Margin Zhang Jie learned that every world had a Zhang Jie!

Zhang Jie: My cheat system is myself!!

These details had appeared in Zhongtian Zhang Jie’s mind the moment he entered the space.

According to Water Margin Zhang Jie’s understanding, these details were like a game guide from before his transmigration—

simply telling the player what functions this space offered.

Zhongtian Zhang Jie hadn’t arrived much earlier than him;

by the time flow of the Zhongtian world, less than three months.

“You’ve got some luck, kid.”

Zhongtian Zhang Jie eyed Water Margin Zhang Jie with envy.

He wasn’t envious that Water Margin Zhang Jie had already formed a relationship—about to surpass friendship—with

the voluptuous, alluring Pan Jinlian.

Okay, Zhongtian Zhang Jie admitted inwardly, he was a little envious.

But then he thought: he and Water Margin Zhang Jie were one and the same.

If Pan Jinlian belonged to Water Margin Zhang Jie, then she belonged to him, Zhongtian Zhang Jie, too.

Zhongtian instantly lost his envy, a mysterious smile spreading across his face:

Let the storm come harder!

…

Unlike Water Margin Zhang Jie, who was born to loving parents and lived with them for over a decade before their death,

Zhongtian Zhang Jie had no memory of family from the moment he gained consciousness—he ate alone, and no one else was hungry;

taking a selfie was his family portrait; lifting his bowl was his reunion meal.

In short, Zhongtian Zhang Jie was an orphan.

His parents, he was told, had been killed by rogue soldiers before he could remember.

The late Yuan to early Ming era of Zhongtian was already chaotic,

rebel armies and Yuan troops locked in a brutal stalemate; orphans like Zhongtian Zhang Jie were countless.

“Your luck isn’t bad either,” replied Water Margin Zhang Jie, having shared Zhongtian’s memories.

“True enough.”

Zhongtian Zhang Jie nodded in deep agreement.

Had his luck been worse, he wouldn’t be here in this shared space:

those rogue soldiers didn’t care whether you were infant or child.

They slaughtered entire villages—men, women, old, young—all left dead!

Worse yet, some cruel ones skewered infants on spears and danced with them!

And when supplies ran low,

tender, soft-skinned children often ended up in the pot!

The chaos of Zhongtian’s era was as horrific as the Five Barbarians’ invasion, where even the “wife cake” actually contained a wife!

Had Zhongtian Zhang Jie not been rescued at the last moment by Yu Lianzhou,

one of the Seven Heroes of Wudang, he would almost certainly be dead.

What were the odds?

Roughly the same as winning a “cut one” on a certain app.

Because Zhongtian Zhang Jie’s innate talent was decent, Yu Lianzhou took him in as a disciple,

making him the first disciple of the second disciple of the Great Master Zhang Sanfeng.

Although Zhongtian Zhang Jie was still under twenty, his early entry meant

he ranked as second senior to Song Qingshu, the eldest disciple and son of the Grand Disciple Song Yuanqiao.

Zhongtian Zhang Jie: It’s time to betray Grand Disciple Song Qingshu and take his place as Grand Disciple…

“By the way, which version of The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber is your world?”

Water Margin Zhang Jie asked curiously.

As a classic wuxia novel by Master Jin Yong,

The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber had been adapted many times—multiple TV series and films.

There was Deng Aichao’s version, and the absurd one—no, Wu Qihua’s version.

Zhongtian Zhang Jie replied: “Oh, I’ve confirmed it.

I’m currently in the Su Youpeng version.

After all, the grown-up Zhang Wuji looks exactly like Su Youpeng.

Also, our ancestor, Master Sanfeng, isn’t a sloppy fat man—he’s a transcendent, immortal Daoist.”

“Su Youpeng version, huh…”

Water Margin Zhang Jie’s thoughts drifted away, recalling Zhou Zhiruo, Zhao Min, and others…

“Hehe, after all these years,

why haven’t you done anything… intimate… with Jin Lian?”

Zhongtian Zhang Jie’s grin turned lewd, steering the conversation into deeper waters.

He knew that noble youths typically lost their virginity to their personal maids by thirteen or fourteen.

In A Dream of Red Mansions, another of the Four Great Classical Novels, Jia Baoyu first made love with Xi Ren

at roughly eleven and a half to thirteen years old.

This age estimate was based on:

when Lin Daiyu entered the Jia household, she was seven; Jia Baoyu was one year older, about eight.

The age was approximately eleven and a half to thirteen years.

This is the basis for the age estimation:

When Daiyu entered the Jia mansion, she was seven years old; Jia Baoyu was one year older, about eight.

The book briefly describes Lin Daiyu’s life in the Jia household, though in reality, two or three years had already passed.

Leng Zixing mentioned that Jia Lian had married Wang Xifeng for two years, and when Liu Laolao visited the Jia household,

Zhou Rui’s wife noted that the Jia household had been managed by Wang Xifeng for five years, implying several more years had passed.

According to the timeline, Jia Baoyu was about eleven and a half to thirteen years old when he first experienced sexual relations.

And one individual regarded by mites as the “emperor of all ages,”

the “greatest sage ancestor in history,” Kangxi, had his first son at age fourteen.

Even if Kang the Mole frequently rode horses and shot arrows, with perfect aim and one shot to hit,

according to the nine-month gestation period, he began his duties at age thirteen.

Now, Zhang Jie from Water Margin is nearly nineteen, yet still a Chu Lan,

which fills Zhang Jie from Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber with deep contempt.

As for why Zhang Jie from Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber never finds a girlfriend?

That’s a good question.

It is well known that Zhang Sanfeng, the founding patriarch of the Wudang Sect, is a centenarian Chu Lan, a pure yang Daoist priest,

and all seven of his disciples are men, so the Wudang Sect does not accept female disciples.

At the start of Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber, Zhang Sanfeng rescued Zhou Zhiruo from the Yuan army,

but he could not take her as a disciple, and ultimately sent her to the Emei Sect, where Mistress Jueqing accepted her as a disciple.

Zhang Jie from Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber: Wu Liang Tian Zun, I’ve just been scheming in my mind that my patriarch is an old Chu Lan—what a sin, what a sin.

O Patriarch, your grace is vast; please do not punish me…

“Do something enjoyable?”

“If I did something enjoyable, could you even be seeing me now?”

Zhang Jie from Water Margin extended his thin, stick-like, sickly pale hand,

and irritably waved it before Zhang Jie from Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber.

Over these years, to extend his life, he hasn’t dared to do anything enjoyable,

not even letting Pan Jinlian attend him at night.

He fears that if he loses control for a moment, he might enjoy himself,

but suffer grave damage to his primordial qi and die young, perishing on Pan Jinlian’s belly.

“Uh!”

Zhang Jie from Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber was left speechless.

Given Zhang Jie from Water Margin’s former scrawny frame, he likely couldn’t handle Pan Jinlian’s growing plumpness.