Chapter 594

"GG Boom~"

“I’m Peppa, and I have a little brother named George…”

As Zhang Jie and the others discussed the Quanxing, a cartoon soundtrack drifted into their ears.

“Bao’er-jie, what are you watching?”

Zhang Chulan turned curiously toward the source of the sound.

There, Feng Baobao sat lazily on a stone bench, holding two smartphones in her hands.

“Here.”

Feng Baobao raised her phones, displaying the screens to Zhang Jie and the others.

On one phone screen was a humanoid pig wearing a red bodysuit,

licking a round, rainbow-colored lollipop.

On the other phone screen was a pink pig whose head resembled a revolver.

It was unmistakably two classic childhood cartoons: Piggy Xia and Peppa Pig.

Don’t be surprised that such cartoons still exist in the One Person World.

As a world created by Master Mi Er based on the blue planet, this place has not only Peppa Pig and Piggy Xia ,

but also Tom and Jerry, Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf, Boonie Bears, and other classic animations.

Even the Big Three Shonen Jump series are here.

Unfortunately, the timeline of the One Person World comes after the blue planet,

so Zhang Jie cannot watch One Piece in the One Person Under World to grant Pirate Zhang Jie a hyper-future observer’s perspective.

Watching Peppa Pig and Piggy Xia playing on the phone screens, Zhang Chulan grew even more confused:

“Bao’er-jie, why are you watching two cartoons at once?”

Feng Baobao was innocent and childlike, her soul untouched by the dust of memory,

so she enjoying children’s cartoons like Peppa Pig and Piggy Xia was perfectly understandable to him.

But watching two shows with completely opposite styles at the same time? That left him utterly baffled.

Only Xu San furrowed his brow, as if he’d just thought of something unpleasant.

“Hmm, I’m wondering which one tastes better—Piggy Xia or Peppa Pig?”

Feng Baobao revealed her reason for watching both cartoons without any concealment.

As she spoke, she slightly frowned, genuinely troubled by the question.

“Uh…”

Zhang Chulan was utterly dumbfounded by this wildly absurd, off-the-wall question.

“This is just Baby’s style—you’ll get used to it.”

Xu San patted Zhang Chulan on the shoulder.

After all these years, he was already accustomed to it.

Zhang Jie’s lips twitched—if any other child had asked this question,

even Satan as a kid would have begged to play house with him.

But the one asking this question was Bao’er-jie.

She had some basic life knowledge and social awareness, yet not enough of either;

she genuinely must have compared in her mind which pig—Piggy Xia or Peppa Pig—had better pork flavor.

This reminded Zhang Jie of a certain seemingly satirical image:

a box of minced pork in a supermarket labeled “Peppa Pig Puzzle Toy.”

As he thought about it, Zhang Jie’s mischievous streak surfaced—he began analyzing seriously:

“Logically speaking, Guangdong free-range pigs versus British farmed pigs—who tastes better?

It’s obvious, especially since the British don’t have the habit of castrating pigs; Peppa’s meat must be full of old flavor.

But Piggy Xia isn’t any better—he’s a fat little pig whose name is ‘GG Bao ,’

yet GG never actually exploded; he just stares at Princess Feifei with impure thoughts, fantasizing endlessly;

he clearly hasn’t been castrated either—he probably performs the Fearless Covenant every night.

So his meat must be extremely pungent,

and you’d need a ton of star anise, cinnamon, and other strong spices just to mask the taste.

So we must first rule out this premise before further discussing the flavor of these two pigs.”

Zhang Chulan and Xu San stared at Zhang Jie in stunned silence,

their expressions mirroring the “Ah-Zhen, are you serious?” meme from Kung Fu Hustle.

“Ah-Jie, your analysis makes perfect sense.”

Feng Baobao’s eyes sparkled with admiration.

She asked next: “So do you think they’re edible?”

“Personally, I recommend eating neither.”

Zhang Jie continued: “In terms of texture, Piggy Xia is authentic Guangdong free-range pork,

and he’s trained in martial arts daily—his meat should be firm and well-marbled.

But this pig loves eating stimulant lollipops all the time—he’s a hormone pig, saturated with high-tech.

If Mendeleev took a bite, the original periodic table would gain two extra pages.

Even if the taste were excellent, it’d fail every food safety inspection.

And Peppa? She’s even worse—rolling in mud pits daily, looking like a revolver,

a pink hairdryer—clearly a genetic mutation.

She gets sick every few days, especially with red spots on her skin—

classic symptoms of swine fever; even Naga would say, ‘Bacteria grow from the stomach.’

No need to eat them—dump them in the East African Rift, and I’d still think the grave’s too shallow.

Both pigs are a pair of smiling tigers and two black horned sharks—neither is fit for the table.

If Goujian took one bite, he’d probably give up revenge entirely and reconcile with his past self.

As for benefits, Piggy Xia passed English Level 6—his brain must be packed with nutrients;

especially since he wears a costume like a sausage, making him look delicious.

Plus, Piggy Xia eats hormone lollipops constantly—his whole body is infused with Nine Dragon Tech, perfect for bodybuilders;

after eating him, you’d instantly develop a pointed head and ascend to the Steroid Planet, sending shockwaves through the bodybuilding world.

And Piggy Xia is a martial arts master and summoner of the Five Spirit Kings;

if you kill him, you might even drop a few legendary items.

In contrast, Peppa? She can’t even save the world—she struggles just to walk downstairs to fetch a package. Eating her? I’d fear it’d lower my IQ.”

“But if you absolutely had to choose one?”

Zhang Chulan had been drawn in—he joined the topic.

“If I absolutely had to choose one…”

Zhang Jie paused, thinking:

“Peppa Pig’s family never plans meals—they eat cake and pasta every day, pure garbage pigs,

teeming with bacteria; no wonder Peppa gets sick every other day.

But Piggy Xia only eats lollipops—his diet is monotonous, yet he’s already marinated in flavor; you wouldn’t even need extra sugar for red-braised pork.

Plus, he maintains intense exercise—he wears carbon-soled shoes in the morning,

and by evening, those soles are crushed into diamonds; with that much activity, his meat quality can’t be bad.

So if I absolutely had to pick one, Piggy Xia crushes Peppa Pig.”

“Oh, Piggy Xia tastes better!”

Feng Baobao’s eyes lit up—her long-standing question finally resolved.

Zhang Chulan also looked thoughtful: “So… GG Boom isn’t so bad after all?”

“Sigh…”

Xu San covered his face and sighed, watching the three of them completely lost in this absurd topic.

He was too normal, so he always felt out of place.

“What’s going on?”

At that moment, Xu Si entered, smoking his ever-present cigarette, puffing clouds of smoke.

He walked in and immediately saw Xu San sighing, looking utterly miserable.

Meanwhile, Zhang Jie and the other two huddled together, enthusiastically debating something.

“It’s like this…”

Xu San explained the topic of their conversation to Xu Si.

“Uh…”

Xu Si fell silent.

Silence, oh silence.

Silence was the mood of the Xu brothers today.