Chapter 59: Dammit, Your Grandma

"Report, Company Commander, the late roll call is complete!"

"Whole Company should have xx men, actually xx present, please...... pfft, please give instructions!"

The duty officer really couldn't hold back his laugh and got a glare from Gao Feng.

The squad in front of him was something Gao Feng just couldn't bear to watch.

What is called a horde of demons dancing wildly?

What is called monsters and demons?

What the hell are all these things?

"I let you practice battlefield first aid, and you think this is a costume party?"

Gao Feng walked up to a rookie, looked down at his white triangular high‑cut underwear and said, "What's this? You stole your grandmother's triangular pouch and are cosplaying a superhero, wearing underwear on the outside?"

Lu Yang, like the other rookies, strained to hold back his laugh, almost bursting into a vibrating mode.

That guy really had talent; he tied two triangular towels together, made a white triangular underwear, and it was high‑waist style.

Such a trendy and quirky look—who wouldn't laugh upon seeing it?

The soldier was both terrified and wanting to laugh; even though he had replayed the most painful experiences of his life, his own outfit still made him unable to hold back.

"Report, report, Squad Leader, let me simulate a bandage for a groin injury!"

"Your Squad Leader, why didn't he have you simulate how to become a eunuch?"

Gao Feng ripped off his white triangular pouch and said, "Is this a bandage? It's loose, useless, not even better than just slipping on a pair of panties over it!"

The soldier's expression was extremely awkward, and even more awkward was their Squad Leader.

He, too, had been inattentive and let the kid go wild.

Gao Feng glared at him, then approached a rookie whose chest was high and bulging.

After checking its texture with two fingers, he gently poked forward and—still damn soft?

The soldier, as if stimulated, let out a trembling "mm-hmm~" from his nose.

They say people laugh when speechless; it's absolutely true.

Gao Feng turned his head and cursed, "Damn."

He reached behind, grabbed the rookie's collar, and pulled him forward: "Come, come, come, step forward and strike a pose."

Seeing his eye‑catching outfit, everyone could no longer hold back and burst into laughter.

Gao Feng looked at the white chest piece on his torso, the two bulges, and laughed,

"What's up, are you Mulan, joining the army for your father? Why did you give me a 'second pancake'?"

"Second pancake, hahahaha!"

Kong Long thumped his chest and stamped his feet, tears of laughter spilling out.

Ding Tengfei, with a bandage around his neck, also bent over laughing.

Lu Yang wasn't much better; the muscles in his face twitched.

This roll call was the strongest in history, everyone a master of pranks.

This brother was even more talented than the previous one; the first wore underwear outside, this guy made a 'second pancake' and even bulged a chest.

Gao Feng didn't stop the laughter; he was deliberately making the rookie look foolish: "Come on, tell me, what were you thinking? Your look really puzzles me."

The rookie, who had joined the army for his father, flushed red and awkwardly explained, "Report, this is me simulating a bandage for a chest wound pierced horizontally."

Gao Feng asked, "Who bandaged it for you?"

"Our Squad Leader."

"Come, th Class Squad Leader, you come over, here."

The th Class Squad Leader already had the idea of cutting this soldier.

He immediately couldn't say it was someone else who bandaged you; he had to claim it was me?

"th Class Squad Leader, is this how you train rookies?"

"Report, Company Commander, I did the bandaging, but the cotton inside wasn't placed by me."

"Oh?"

Gao Feng looked back at the rookie: "So you're saying you have a hobby in this area? Do you even know what a military unit is, whether it's appropriate to flaunt colors in front of a crowd?"

The rookie got a spray of spittle on his face, lowered his head and stammered, unable to say a word.

Gao Feng snorted, "Damn, there's so much cotton padding, don't you think it's cumbersome? I ask you, if you do it like this, how will you change the dressing later?"

The rookie reached inside and pulled out two cotton pads: "Just… like that, change it."

"Just like that?"

Gao Feng laughed in anger: "Changing it like that, do you know it'll hurt you to death? You have to remove the rear shoulder strap… pfft, the bandage!"

He told the two to roll back into the formation and stand properly; watching these horde of dancing demons, he covered his face and laughed for a while before regaining his composure.

Besides those two, the squad actually had many other odd shapes.

Some looked like mummies, some like they were hanging, and some had heads wrapped like a certain foreigner, all in a myriad of forms.

The only relatively decent one was Third Squad; although it also had a couple of free‑spirited guys, overall it was far better than the other squads.

"At ease!"

"Stand at attention!"

Gao Feng straightened the formation and said sternly, "Battlefield first‑aid training is not a child's game, nor a make‑believe play!"

"When war comes, when combat erupts, it can save your lives and your comrades' lives!"

"Everyone, show me Third Squad, how they bandage, and how you all bandage!"

Everyone's gaze shifted to Third Squad; all of them, Zhou Kaidong included, involuntarily raised their chins a bit, feeling immensely proud.

And all this owed to Lu Yang; had he not diligently helped with the guidance, Third Squad would probably have been a horde of dancing demons as well.

Through this incident, everyone actually saw that among the veteran Squad Leaders of the New Recruit Company, not only Zhou Kaidong lacks skill in battlefield emergency rescue.

The other Squad Leaders' abilities are likewise uneven, and in some extreme cases they have already completely handed back the position to the veteran Squad Leaders of the New Recruit Company.

But it's not entirely their fault; in the past, basic training either focused on physical fitness or on ideological‑political exams.

Battlefield emergency rescue is usually just a formality, the kind that is brushed over.

It's like teaching how to correctly use a fire extinguisher on campus.

After the activity ends, students and teachers basically forget everything they should, unless it's made a required exam item.

Any knowledge, if left unused for a long time, will be forgotten; it's the same principle as a weapon that rusts when not honed.

Gao Feng snorted coldly: "Tonight, Third Squad doesn't have to run the three kilometres; after this, disband and go straight back to freshen up. All other squads, turn around, and while running, reflect on yourselves properly!"

The new recruits of the other squads, full of complaints, turned and ran toward the playground.

The remaining members of Third Squad all broke into smiles.

Gao Feng walked up to Zhou Kaidong: "It seems the emergency rescue knowledge hasn't been handed back to the veteran Squad Leader yet; keep it up and aim to perform well next week."

"Yes!"

Zhou Kaidong saluted, and led the squad's new recruits back to the class.

Just after returning, a group of people rushed onto the corridor.

With excited faces, they watched a group of "defeated generals" and "scattered militia" running on the distant playground.

"Assistant Squad Leader, it has to be you!"

"How come you're so capable—good at first aid, patching clothes, and even drawing?"

"I said I also know bone‑setting massage; do you believe me?"

Lu Yang suddenly blurted out a blunt truth.

In his previous life he indeed did that job; his massage skill was quite good.

He often, before sleep, would give himself a massage to relax his leg muscles and prevent soreness.

But he didn't expect that this time no one doubted him; everyone believed him fully.

"I believe, I believe; just give me a push, and I'll believe!"

Kong Long, with a damn smug face, got close, wanting Lu Yang to give him a massage.

Lu Yang instantly launched a sneak attack, stabbing two fingers into his eyes.

"Ah! My eye!"

With a howl of pain, Kong Long covered his eye and squatted to the ground.

Seeing this, Zhou Kaidong hurried over, concerned: "What happened? Let me see."

Kong Long lifted his head, moved his finger aside, revealing one eye: "Meow~"

Zhou Kaidong kicked up: "I meow at your mother!"

The cute‑acting Kong Long was kicked over, got up and bolted out.

The duped Zhou Kaidong, enraged, ordered everyone to go up and seize him; he wanted to mete out a severe punishment.

For a moment, the empty Shushe lou seemed to become Third Squad's playground, with rapid "deng deng deng" footsteps echoing continuously.

Soon, Lu Yang caught Kong Long and, together with others, pressed him against the wall.

Waiting for Zhou Kaidong to arrive with the Armed Belt to give him special love and a special reward.

Bang!

The Armed Belt fell, and Lu Yang let out a howl.

"Hit the wrong one, hit the wrong one!"

"You're the one I'm hitting!"

Zhou Kaidong spat: "You all conspired to mess with me, without respect, now hold your Assistant Squad Leader down for me!"

In an instant the offense and defense switched; the group that had been pressing Kong Long immediately turned and lunged at Lu Yang.

Lu Yang dodged Ding Tengfei's flying tackle, then also evaded Kong Long's big hand.

He bolted downstairs, sprinting toward the outside to flee.

Zhou Kaidong, with Kong Long and his group behind, gave relentless chase.

Watching everyone crush the moonlight, laughing wildly as they chased.

Gao Feng, having just gone a short distance away, stopped, turned back.

The scene made him involuntarily recall the cross‑country run under the setting sun.

That was his bygone youth, and also a testament to his growth on the soldier's path......