Chapter 217: Because, I love you

After Yu Lizhen left, Xie Qin didn't touch the things on the table, nor did he turn on the lights, just maintaining his sitting posture, lowering his eyes as he sat on the sofa.

The summer heat outside seeped in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, but it couldn't dispel the chill in his heart. Every word on the diagnosis certificate swirled repeatedly in his mind, and behind that phone call six years ago was a despair he had never known.

Shen Li returned from school at nine-thirty at night, a little earlier than usual.

She entered the password to open the door, only to see the living room in pitch darkness.

It's so late, Xie Qin hasn't come back yet?

Shen Li felt for the switch on the wall. The moment the light turned on, she saw Xie Qin sitting on the sofa and was startled.

He was leaning against the sofa back, eyes lowered, the stray hair on his forehead obscuring his brows and eyes. She couldn't see his expression, only his shoulders were slightly tense.

On the tea table in the living room, there was a cup of tea that had long since gone cold.

Shen Li closed the door gently behind her, placed her bag on the counter in the foyer, and a sense of unease surged in her heart. She walked forward and spoke tentatively: "Xie Qin, why didn't you turn on the lights when you were home?"

Her voice broke the silence in the living room. Xie Qin slowly lifted his head, as if being dragged out of some trance. He glanced at her without speaking, just watching her quietly.

They just looked at each other like that.

The scene was quiet, and the surrounding air seemed to have stagnated.

After a while

Until Xie Qin stood up. He walked step by step to Shen Li, lowering his head to look down at her. The light from above fell on him, and the stray hair on his forehead fell, casting a deep shadow under his eyelids, obscuring his pitch-black eyes, revealing only his tightly tense jawline.

Shen Li lifted her head, noticing the corners of his eyes were slightly red. She blinked, her long lashes trembling, and asked him in a very light voice: "What... happened to you?"

Xie Qin suppressed his voice and spoke hoarsely: "If I didn't ask you, would you never have taken the initiative to tell me?"

Shen Li: "..."

Xie Qin: "In your eyes, what exactly am I?"

Looking at Xie Qin's appearance, Shen Li felt a suffocating tightness in her chest. It took her a long time to react; his gaze was too intense, as if she didn't speak, he would just keep looking at her, waiting for her explanation.

She lowered her gaze, breaking away from his line of sight, her voice very light and weak: "Did... did Mom come to find you?"

That was why he had such a reaction.

The thing she least wanted Xie Qin to know, he still found out.

Shen Li explained to him: "I'm much better now, really... I'm fine."

He let out a cold sneer and asked her: "The things you took before, were they actually antidepressants?"

Shen Li hesitated and nodded slowly: "Hmm."

Xie Qin lifted her chin with his hand, his eyes devoid of temperature, making her look up at him: "For so many years, you've had such a serious illness. You had so many opportunities, yet you never thought of telling me."

"In your heart, is my existence not important to you at all?"

He suppressed his voice, his tone turning a bit harsh.

This was the first time Xie Qin had been so angry with her.

Shen Li felt a blockage in her chest. Looking at his already moist eyes, her mood also became uncomfortable because of him. She shook her head, her voice trembling as she said: "It's not like that. Xie Qin... you are important, you are more important than anyone else."

Her depression had truly been slowly cured over these six years.

Now, she didn't need to take medicine every day like before.

As for the past, she wouldn't deliberately recall those pains anymore, because time had smoothed them out bit by bit, making Shen Li not care so much either.

But seeing him angry and sad because she hid her depression, Shen Li was also emotionally affected by him.

Xie Qin's eyes were red. Shen Li knew he was feeling sad for her, becoming visibly fragile. Even Shen Li suddenly had the urge to shed tears in front of Xie Qin, and in the end, she couldn't hold them back. Her eyes moistened, and even her view of him became blurry.

Shen Li's voice trembled as she explained: "Back then at Chengde University, there were many girls chasing you, and we hadn't been together for long, our relationship wasn't that stable. I was afraid that if you knew, you would think I was troublesome, that you would hate me, that you would... leave me!"

That period was the most painful time for her; several times, she felt she couldn't hold on anymore.

Finally, a ray of light appeared in her life, a light that broke through the cocoon, permeated the darkness, and pulled her back from the abyss.

It gave her hope, gave her what she wanted.

It made her feel that the world wasn't actually that bad.

Xie Qin stared into her eyes: "And now?"

Shen Li threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly, leaning against his solid chest, and closed her eyes, her nose filled with his cedar-scented aura.

Every time, he could give her the strength to hold on.

Her voice was light and hoarse, carrying a long-suppressed choke: "I didn't want to make you sad or hurt for me, I didn't want to... affect you. Just like... your arm was so seriously injured, you didn't want to tell me either."

"Xie Qin... it's enough for one of us to be not okay, I want you to be happy."

For so many years, hadn't she also survived?

Xie Qin also hugged her, his chin resting on the top of her hair. He closed his eyes and shed a tear that he never shed easily, which rolled down to his chin and melted into her black hair.

After a few seconds of silence, his hoarse voice sounded deeply: "I have only one rule for you: from now on, no matter what happens, you must tell me."

His tone was strong, carrying a command, not discussing it with her.

"..."

"Anything at all!"

Shen Li's nasal voice was heavy, her chest feeling heavy, and she said: "Hmm."

Xie Qin pushed her away gently, raised his hand to wipe away those tears, and told her solemnly: "Shen Li... remember, I am your support."

"And you won't become a trouble for me..."

"Because, I love you—"

Love everything about you.

Even if you are a mess, I will still love you.

Because I...

Am destined to love you.

These three words Xie Qin had never said to her, she heard today. Shen Li's heart beat violently and uncontrollably because of his words.

Shen Li looked into his eyes and gave him the same response: "Me too. Xie Qin... I love you too."

She sniffed again, raised her hand to cup his face, and curled her lips into a smile: "Why are you crying too..."

"You don't look handsome when you cry."

Xie Qin's eyelashes trembled, the redness at the corners of his eyes fading a bit, and he grabbed her wrist and pressed it against his cheek: "It's all your fault! You just know how to make me angry!"

Shen Li hugged him tightly again, coaxing him: "I'm sorry, there won't be a next time."

"In the future, whatever happens, I will tell you the first time."

Xie Qin bent down and picked her up, walked to the sofa and sat down, Shen Li sitting on his lap.

The atmosphere between the two eased a bit, and they continued to cherish each other as usual. ===== CHAPTER 218 =====