Chapter 191

Wu Yumen first complimented Jiang Heng, then immediately asked if he was interested in starring in a historical blockbuster.

Translation: Wu Yusen first complimented Jiang Heng with two sentences, then immediately asked if he was interested in starring in a historical epic.

Note: 'historical costume epic' means a historical blockbuster.

Jiang Heng didn't even need to think; he knew Wu Yumen was referring to Red Cliff, and he instinctively shook his head, saying, "Forget it—I've got too much on my plate these past two years; I really don't have time to star in a film!"

Translation: Jiang Heng didn't need to think; he knew Wu Yusen was talking about Red Cliff, and he instinctively shook his head, saying, "Forget it, I've got too much to do these two years—I really don't have time to star in a movie!"

Hearing this, Wu Yumen felt a bit embarrassed; although he preferred his old friend Chow Yun‑fat, he secretly hoped Jiang Heng would decline.

Translation: Wu Yusen felt a bit embarrassed hearing that; although he leaned more toward his old friend Zhou Yunfa, he secretly hoped Jiang Heng would refuse.

But your refusal was so blunt and decisive, made without even thinking, that it came across as hurtful.

Translation: But your refusal was so blunt and decisive, as if you hadn't even considered it, which was somewhat hurtful.

After all, he's a Hollywood big‑name director; countless people dream of acting in his films but never get the chance!

Translation: After all, he is a Hollywood big director—how many people want to act in his films but never get the chance!

Even though Jiang Heng is a big director and a tycoon, you didn't even bother to ask, lacking basic courtesy—it's really rude.

Translation: Although Jiang Heng is also a big director and a tycoon, you didn't even bother to ask, lacking even the most basic courtesy—it's really impolite!

"Director Jiang, you have zero interest in historical epics? I thought I could pick your brain about it!"

Translation: "Director Jiang, do you have zero interest in historical blockbusters? I thought I could ask you for advice!"

Jiang Heng thought, "I'm not uninterested in historical epics—I just have no interest in your Red Cliff."

Translation: Jiang Heng thought, I'm not uninterested in historical blockbusters; I'm just not interested in your Red Cliff!

Red Cliff is so terrible that Jiang Heng can't even be bothered to criticize it.

Translation: As for how terrible Red Cliff is, Jiang Heng couldn't even be bothered to complain.

What he really wants to criticize is that Hong Kong filmmakers excel in many genres, but their handling of historical subjects leaves mainland audiences feeling extremely awkward.

Translation: What he really wanted to complain about was that Hong Kong filmmakers do well in many genres, but their handling of historical topics leaves mainland audiences feeling extremely awkward.

In Red Cliff, for instance, we get lines like "The rise and fall of the world is the responsibility of every commoner," "Why bring a fan in such cold weather?" and "I bring a fan to stay constantly calm"—utterly cringe‑worthy dialogue.

Translation: In Red Cliff, for instance, lines like "The rise and fall of the world is the responsibility of every commoner," "Why bring a fan in such cold weather?" and "I bring the fan to stay constantly calm" appear—utterly cringe-worthy dialogue.

Li Rengang also directed films such as The Embroidered Uniform Guard and The Hongmen Banquet; his signature touch is the flying‑saucer helmet, which nearly every character wears.

Translation: Moreover, Li Rengang directed works such as Embroidered Uniform Guard and Hongmen Banquet; his biggest trademark is the flying saucer helmet, with nearly every character in his films wearing one.

Even more absurd is the plot of The Hongmen Banquet, which takes the grand historical saga of the Chu‑Han contention and turns it into a triad‑style negotiation.

Translation: As for Hongmen Banquet, the plot is even more outrageous—taking the grand historical story of the Chu-Han contention and turning it into a "gangster" negotiation.

As for director Wu Yumen, although he was born in the mainland, he moved to Hong Kong with his family early on and graduated from Hong Kong's Ricci Institute—so his grasp of Chinese history is easy to imagine.

Translation: As for Director Wu Yusen, although he was also born in the mainland, he moved to Hong Kong with his family at an early age, graduated from Hong Kong's Ricci Institute, so one can imagine how grounded he is in Chinese history.

But given Jiang Heng's wealth, status, and busy schedule, his refusal is understandable.

Translation: But considering Jiang Heng's current wealth, status, and busy workload, his refusal seems quite normal.

It's a shame—if we can't get Jiang Heng to play Zhou Yu, who else could we cast?

Translation: It's a pity, though—if Jiang Heng can't be cast as Zhou Yu, who else could play the part?

Seeing that the two weren't hitting it off, Han Sanping stepped in to smooth things over.

Translation: Seeing that the two seemed to have nothing to say to each other, Han Sanping, standing nearby, hurried over to smooth things over.

Of course, this might relate to Director Hu's background—he's a Beijing native who, after 1949, went alone to Hong Kong, received a good education, eventually made a name for himself in Hong Kong's film industry, and became a master of his generation.

Translation: Of course, this might be related to Director Hu's experience, since he is a native of Jingcheng, went alone to Hong Kong after 1949, received a good education, and eventually stood out in Hong Kong's film circle, becoming a master of his generation.

The film opens in a pitch‑black night, inside the Laozi temple on a desolate mountain, where a group of sturdy, obviously bandit‑clad men gather around a fire.

Translation: The film begins: in the pitch‑black night, inside the Supreme Old Lord's temple on a desolate mountain, a group of sturdy, obviously bandit‑dressed people gather around a fire.

One of them says, "Boss, I heard there's a monster nearby that eats people's hearts—will we be safe spending the night here?"

Translation: One of them said, "Chief, I've heard a monster that eats human hearts has appeared nearby—will we be safe spending the night here?"

Unexpectedly, Jiang Heng gave no face at all, refusing in a very blunt manner.

Translation: Unexpectedly, Jiang Heng gave no face at all, refusing in the most blunt way!

Wu Yumen thought about it and figured Jiang Heng probably sees him as a rival.

Translation: Wu Yusen thought for a while and figured Jiang Heng probably saw him as a rival!

After all, the investors for this Red Cliff are China Film Group and several Hong Kong film companies; if it weren't for his return from Hollywood, the project would likely have gone to Jiang Heng.

Translation: After all, the investors for this Red Cliff are China Film Group and several Hong Kong film companies; if it weren't for my return from Hollywood, this project would most likely have ended up in Jiang Heng's hands.

Actually, not understanding isn't a problem—you can just do more homework, like Hu Jinquan's martial‑arts films, which, though mainly martial‑arts, treat their historical elements very meticulously.

Translation: Actually, not knowing is fine—you can just do more homework. Take Director Hu Jinquan's martial‑arts films: although they mainly focus on wuxia, the historical parts are extremely meticulous.

What's worse is that the investors blindly trust his directorial prowess, not rejecting a script that's overly full of fictional embellishments, resulting in such a mishmash film—hence Jiang Heng has no interest in taking part.

Translation: What's worse, the investors blindly trust his directorial prowess and didn't veto the obviously fabricated script, resulting in such a mishmash film—hence Jiang Heng has no interest in taking part.

First came a brief promotional event, then the main feature began.

Translation: First came a brief promotional segment, then the main feature began.

The most widely influential part is the scene where the succession is changed from the Fourteenth Prince to the Fourth Prince—a segment that spread widely, with nobody seeing anything wrong with it, leaving people puzzled as to why Jiang Heng reacted that way.

Translation: The most influential part was the scene where the succession was changed from the Fourteenth Prince to the Fourth Prince—it spread far and wide, and nobody thought there was anything wrong with it; I just can't understand why Jiang Heng did that.

Not long after the guests and audience had taken their seats, the premiere of Journey to the West: The Flat‑Top Mountain officially began.

Translation: Not long after the guests and audience had taken their seats, the premiere of Journey to the West: Flat Top Mountain officially began.

Upon hearing this, Wu Yumen increasingly felt that Jiang Heng was subtly mocking him.

Translation: Upon hearing that, Wu Yusen became even more convinced that Jiang Heng was mocking him.

After all, in Hong Kong, making up historical film and TV dramas at random is completely normal.

Translation: After all, in Hong Kong, making up historical film and TV plots at will is completely normal.

He originally thought both of these big directors were Hong Kong locals and would get along well, but when Wu Yumen said he'd come to invite Jiang Heng to play Zhou Yu, he never got a chance to bring it up.

Translation: He had thought both of these big directors were Hong Kong locals and would get along swimmingly, but when Wu Yusen said he came to invite Jiang Heng to play Zhou Yu, he failed to secure the role.

He didn't realize that Jiang Heng simply couldn't be bothered to line up investors; unless it was for building connections, China Film wouldn't even need to be involved.

Translation: Little did he know Jiang Heng couldn't be bothered to line up investors; if it weren't for building connections, China Film Group wouldn't even need to be involved.

This only shows that there are too many film people in Hong Kong who don't understand history.

Translation: This only shows that there are far too many Hong Kong filmmakers who know nothing about history.

"I've read little, I don't study history much, I'm afraid there'd be too many commonsense errors in the film that would draw audience criticism, so I've never thought of making a period piece!"

Translation: "I've read little, I don't study history much, I'm afraid of making too many commonsense mistakes in films and getting scolded by audiences, so I've never even thought about making a costume drama!"

Xu Shaqiang's cameo as the bandit leader sneered, "Ghosts fear evil people; demons aren't necessarily as fierce as we are—if a female demon really showed up, I'd execute her on the spot!"

Translation: Xu Shaoqiang, playing the bandit chieftain, sneered, "Ghosts fear evil people, and demons aren't necessarily as fierce as we are—if a female demon really showed up, I'd execute her on the spot!"

"Haha, boss, you're mighty!"

Translation: "Haha, boss, you're mighty!"

"Exactly, and you don't even look where this is—the Laozi temple; ordinary demons wouldn't dare cause trouble here."

Translation: "Exactly, and look where we are—the Supreme Old Lord's temple; ordinary demons wouldn't dare cause trouble here!"

"You say, how could there be a Laozi temple out in this wild mountainside?"

Translation: "You say, how could there be an Old Lord's temple out in this wild countryside?"

"I heard that a hundred years ago, Laozi manifested his spirit here, so the locals built this temple in his honor. It was once quite effective, but only in the past ten years or so has it fallen into disuse."

Translation: "I've heard that a hundred years ago, the Old Lord manifested his spirit here, so the people built this temple in his honor. It was once quite effective, but only in the past ten years or so has it fallen into ruin."

Xu Shaqiang's bandit leader gave a lecherous grin and said, "If I had to say, Laozi is lonely up in heaven, sneaking down… whatever person, get out here!"

Translation: Xu Shaoqiang's bandit chieftain gave a lewd laugh, saying, "If you ask me, the Old Lord is lonely up in heaven, sneaking down… whoever it is, get out here!"

As soon as his words fell, a dozen or so bandits sprang up, grabbed torches, drew their waist weapons, and headed toward the back of the towering Laozi statue.

Translation: No sooner had the words left his mouth than a dozen or so bandits sprang up, grabbed torches, drew their waist‑worn weapons, and headed toward the back of the towering Old Lord statue.

The camera panned to reveal a long‑haired, alluring woman in a white dress hiding behind the Laozi statue, trembling.

Translation: The camera cut to reveal a long‑haired, alluring woman in a white robe, hiding in the shadow behind the Old Lord statue, trembling.

Meanwhile, Xu Shaqiang and the others playing the bandits had glazed eyes and drool dripping.

Translation: Meanwhile, the bandits played by Xu Shaoqiang and the others had glazed eyes and drool dripping from their mouths.

"Boss, a beautiful woman!"

Translation: "Boss, a beau‑tiful lady!"

"Nonsense, I'm not blind—go, lay out a bed for me; I want to consummate the marriage in this temple!"

Translation: "Nonsense, I'm not blind—go, lay out a bed for me; I want to spend my wedding night in this temple!"

"Boss, no, it couldn't be a demon, could it?"

Translation: "Boss, no, it couldn't be a demon, could it?"

Xu Shaqiang's eyes were lecherous as he laughed, "Even if it's a fairy, today she has to become my concubine—hurry up!"

Translation: Xu Shaoqiang's eyes were lecherous as he laughed, "Even if she's a fairy, she'll have to be my consort today—hurry up!"

The lackeys resignedly moved the offering table over, laid out their luggage on it, and one joked, "Boss, the bed's a bit short—just make do and sleep!"

Translation: The lackeys resignedly dragged the offering table over, spread their luggage on it, and one joked, "Boss, the bed's a bit short—just make do and sleep!"

Xu Shaqiang laughed heartily, "I don't need to sleep all night!"

Translation: Xu Shaoqiang laughed heartily, "I don't need to sleep all night!"

After saying that, he lifted the beautiful white‑clad woman and placed her on the offering table.

Translation: Having said that, he lifted the beautiful woman in white and placed her on the offering table.

He then drove the lackeys away and immediately lunged forward to kiss her.

Translation: He then drove the lackeys away and immediately lunged forward to kiss her.

But see, the woman's formerly smooth, fair skin suddenly sprouted white hair.

Translation: But see, her formerly smooth, fair skin suddenly sprouted white fur.

Xu Shaqiang's bandit character jumped back a few steps in shock, only to see a white fox over two meters tall lying sideways on the offering table, speaking in human words: "Come on, why aren't you coming?"

Translation: Xu Shaoqiang's bandit gasped, stepped back a few paces, and saw a white fox over two meters tall lying sideways on the table, speaking in a human voice: "Come on, why aren't you coming?"

And behind it, there were eight or nine fluffy tails.

Translation: And behind it were eight or nine fluffy tails.

Xu Shaqiang's expression grew grave, with a hint of fear in his eyes.

Translation: Xu Shaoqiang's expression grew grave, a hint of fear in his eyes.

"A nine‑tailed fox?" he exclaimed, then turned and ran.

Translation: "A nine‑tailed fox?" he exclaimed, then turned and ran.

But he had only run two steps when he stopped, lowered his head, and saw a bloody, furry claw pierce through his chest.

Translation: But after just two steps he stopped, lowered his head, and saw a bloody, fur‑covered claw pierce through his chest.

Xu Shaqiang's bandit character died without even getting a chance to speak.

Translation: The bandit played by Xu Shaoqiang didn't even get a chance to speak before he breathed his last.

Outside the temple, the bandits heard the commotion, rushed to draw their weapons, and shouted, "Boss, are you all right?"

Translation: Outside the temple, the other bandits heard the commotion, hastily drew their weapons, and shouted, "Chief, are you all right?"

Boss, what happened!

As soon as the words fell, several fluffy tails burst out of the window, grabbing each bandit's neck; immediately, both tails and people were dragged into the Old Lord Temple.

The camera panned again; on the altar inside the temple, the nine-tailed fox spirit played by Zhang Yuxi reclined contentedly, with blood still staining the corner of her mouth.

On the ground lay the corpses of the bandits, in a gruesome state.

The nine-tailed fox spirit said: "Tang Seng, where have you gone?"

Behind the Old Lord statue, a white-clad woman flashed out — it was the little sprite played by Jing Tian — "Reporting to my lady, we have already passed the Treasure Elephant Kingdom!"

"Oh, go tell those two children of mine, they must capture Tang Sanzang. As for me, the lady, I am immortal and ever-youthful, benefiting from them! Eating these smelly ordinary mortals every day is a hassle!"

Jing Tian bowed and said: "Here!"

(End of chapter)