Chapter 22

Eunuch 22 (The culprit is the dog emperor)

Whenever she thought of her grandmother's dying words, Character: Jiang Yuner felt her heart, liver, spleen, and lungs tormented.

Her body felt as if it were being slowly ground into bloody mud by sharp stones, constantly oozing blurred blood.

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Back then she deliberately got herself sent to the Lenggong; aside from fearing her background would be exposed, the main reason was that she couldn't face the emperor without showing any resentment.

"Nine Lang, I understand what you mean." Character: Jiang Yuner wiped her face, her icy voice squeezing out between her teeth, "But forget about leaving the palace; don't think you can leave me out—I'll work hard to heal my body and face, and when the time comes I'll find a suitable opportunity to seduce the emperor..."

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After saying all that, is that the conclusion she's come to?

He said speechlessly, "Seven Sister, I've said it before—do you really have some misunderstanding about your looks? Do you think you look like a heavenly fairy? Or do you misunderstand the dog emperor's preferences?"

Character: Jiang Yuner's face flushed again as she glared angrily: "I once enjoyed favor back then! I've also studied the dog emperor's tastes!"

Although the dog emperor isn't ugly and lives in luxury, he's still passable to look at. But he's older than her father, which she finds hard to stomach, and given the deep blood feud between the Jiang family and him, she'd love to devour his flesh—let alone devote herself to him.

After she finally mustered the resolve to seduce the dog emperor, how could he so contemptuously dismiss her determination?

Jiang He thought to himself, No, I don't scorn your determination—I scorn your intelligence!

He put down the water ladle in his hand and bluntly said, "Seven Sister, my point is, you should obediently leave the palace! Once I kill the dog emperor, you can openly give him a green hat! Until then, you might as well secretly give him one first."

The Jiang family has good traditions; there's little scheming in the inner household, so the Jiang children grow up very pure.

With his Seven Sister's pure and straightforward personality, how could she possibly contend with the dog emperor? Whenever the dog emperor is mentioned, resentment shows on her face uncontrollably—how could she hide it from that old, treacherous dog emperor?

Jiang He bluntly said, "Besides, even if you recover your looks and become as beautiful as a heavenly fairy, you still won't gain the emperor's favor."

What kind of trick is this? Do you think everyone's blind?

Character: Jiang Yuner couldn't help but lift her head and puff out her chest: "Nine Lang, you don't understand anything! Between men and women, let the experienced handle it!"

Take her, for example—she's given birth, so her experience is rich.

Jiang He said he doesn't look down on her experience, but he does look down on her intelligence.

He sighed, "Seven Sister, haven't you noticed? The dog emperor only likes pale, young, and slim; he dislikes those who are overly mature, or those who have given birth and are full of motherly vigor, or those who are rather plump… the dog emperor dislikes them all!"

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Due to their heightened emotions, their voices involuntarily rose.

Inside the room, the sharp-eared child unconsciously stopped reading aloud.

Hearing his mother and uncle argue, he felt uneasy inside; although he knew the man who gave him life wasn't anything good, hearing it from his uncle's mouth made him increasingly think that man was a beast.

The System Cat meowed a few times toward the outside, dissatisfied: "Can't these two unreliable adults keep their voices down? Is this a topic a child should hear?"

It patted the child, telling him not to get distracted and not to think too much.

All you can do now is study; as for your scumbag father, there's no need to feel sad for him! All your relatives in this world are in this Little Lenggong—outsiders aren't worth a fraction of your thoughts.

The child bit his lip and whispered to the System Cat: "Mao Mao, when I grow up I will definitely not become someone like the father emperor!"

He's not just a bad father—he's not a good man either!

The System Cat patted him reassuringly, feeling that the child raised by its host wouldn't turn out too badly; if he really went bad in the future, the host would set him straight, and if that couldn't be done, would intervene directly.

The two adults, reminded by the System Cat, unconsciously lowered their voices.

Character: Jiang Yuner nervously glanced at the other side of the room and lowered her voice: "But even consorts who have children, the emperor still regularly rotates their name cards."

Although Nine Lang's mouth is venomous, she couldn't doubt that she was stupid, and she racked her brains to rebut his words.

Jiang He sighed, "With Character: Jiang Yuner's intelligence, how did she even survive in the harem back then?" He continued, "Those without background, whose natal families don't support them—the dog emperor simply can't be bothered to attend to."

"To attend"—those two words he just uttered almost made Character: Jiang Yuner laugh out loud.

Having to serve even when disliked, it really becomes the emperor attending to the consorts—sounds unimpressive at all; turns out the emperor is just like that.

"Haven't you noticed? In the palace, those competing for favor and beauty are all young beauties, while the consorts who have borne children become more and more dignified."

Since vying for favor is useless and the emperor dislikes mature women, rather than fighting to the death over a shared cucumber, it's better to strive for a bright future for one's son.

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Character: Jiang Yuner felt odd hearing that—no wonder she often hears which talented lady is fighting over rouge, which beauty is showing off her clothes, but she's never heard of a mother consort flaunting rouge and powder, or her headwear and garments.

She had thought that the higher-ranked consorts, with their high status, would disdain fighting over such trifles.

The dog emperor loves beauty; the women in the palace are many and mixed—those selected from the populace basically haven't read much, and many are superficial. Yet even the high-ranking consorts often come from lowly origins—how could they possibly refuse splendid clothing and headdresses?

Could it really be that she isn't smart enough? Character: Jiang Yuner couldn't help but doubt herself.

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Actually, she's not stupid; it's just that she's been raised too purely, and with the Jiang family's upbringing, Jiang family girls have the bearing of great generals, yet they find it hard to engage in palace intrigue.

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"Today, this study companion did very well; from now on, let it be your teacher; if you don't understand anything, ask it."

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Every time he says this; after saying it many times, the system can't be bothered to pay attention.

Everyone felt somewhat tempted, but after thinking, they didn't dare.

Ask a cat? A cat as his teacher?

The masters in the palace are fine, but the serving palace people are crammed into a tiny space, practically living each day as if it were a year.

System Cat was about to protest the dog host assigning it extra work, but upon seeing the child's expression, it instantly forgot to complain about the host.

It jumped up unhappily and slapped the child with its soft plum-blossom paws.

Everyone was chatting, only Character: Yang Gonggong sat quietly aside, gazing thoughtfully at Jiang He's back, then slipped out of the room and walked outside.

Little Character: Mingzhi stood up to see off his uncle, then heard words that made the mother and child doubt life.

After paying a little attention, he also joined the eunuchs' idle chatter, analyzing and integrating the information he'd gathered; no bit of information could be overlooked, for it might come in handy someday.

As servants, they can't easily get sick—let alone medicine being hard to come by; mainly, if they fall ill they can't wait on the master nearby, so some chores become impossible.

Summer is really too hot; there are still many people; the eunuchs' urinary systems also have problems, and that smell is even more intoxicating than the winter foot odor.

After watering the vegetable patch, the sky was already dark.

It has seen a world dozens of times broader than the combined age of this child and its mother—how could it possibly fail to educate a child?

Jiang He said: "That's because I bathe often! You can do it too—just pour a bucket of well water over your head, and you'll feel cool and clean."

Refreshments like sour plum soup, mung bean water, and ice cubes were not allotted to the palace staff—until heatstroke cases became too many, the empress ordered that at the hottest moment of noon, those serving the palace could rest for an hour if they had nothing to do.

Jiang He prepared to leave, and said to the child in the room: "Character: Mingzhi, uncle is leaving first."

Each time the system sees him enduring, it teasingly asks if he wants to climb higher, preferably to a single room.

No wonder those consorts all love to call him to serve.

The empress's gesture is naturally not out of sympathy for the palace staff, but to win people's hearts.

"Forget it, we should just buy more wooden buckets to sun‑heat the water."

Indeed, when he combined several unrelated bits of information, he discovered the identity of the palace maid who had died last time in the Lenggong lake, her half‑body having been devoured by fish.

If a man flirts, he flirts—but he must take responsibility!

At noon in summer, several eunuchs in the next room, arms bare like plucked chicken, chatted while waving large sunflower fans so hard they flew.

"It seems to have disappeared—haven't you noticed Character: Yang Gonggong's complexion lately is particularly awful? Definitely don't go near him."

Just as he was about to rise, a fellow eunuch in the same room exclaimed in surprise: "Little Hezi, in this scorching heat you don't even sweat?"

"Right, wasn't it said earlier that Character: Yang Gonggong had been noticed by a noble and could get a separate room?"

When Jiang He returned to the bedroom, he instinctively held his breath.

In this palace it's one radish per hole; if someone finally manages to climb up, only to have their work suddenly taken over, they have nowhere to cry.

Jiang He said calmly: "No rush, I have my own plan."

"Really envy those who have a private room."

Obviously there is a master present, yet they still flirt with the palace folk who serve others—the chief culprit is undoubtedly the dog emperor.

He still finds time to teach the little apprentice in the Imperial Kitchen how to make gastrodia pork brain; the tuition is to let him offset it with the food he makes, following the principle of 'like reinforces like', hoping that Seventh Sister will become smarter.

Other eunuchs also looked at him enviously, thinking Little Hezi is so clean he doesn't seem like a eunuch, and even has no odd smell.

In the blink of an eye we entered June, and the weather became hot enough to make people dizzy and swollen‑headed.

Besides Character: Mingzhi, indeed he can only rely on this uncle; he worries that Character: Jiang Yuner will raise a silly sweetie.

"What do you mean? Are you suspecting it's illiterate?"

By the way, they also analyzed the killer; only women of the Place: Inner Palace would use this method to kill.

The summer sun is strong; leave water in the sun to bask, and by evening you can take a comfortable warm bath—this is how poor people bathe in summer nowadays; firewood is scarce, they are not like those Place: Inner Palace consorts who can enjoy firewood‑heated water.

It is the most cultured among artificial AIs! And also the most knowledgeable!

Overly ambitious palace maids, and masters who feel betrayed—though the causes of death differ, the outcome is always the same.

Jiang He leaned on the bed, brows furrowed tight; the room was smelly and hot, so he decided to go out and find a shady, quiet spot.

Jiang He sat crooked there, not thinking about upholding heaven's will; he was just thinking that the material for educating little Character: Mingzhi had increased by one.

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