Chapter 35: Holy Monk 1 (Transmigrated as a Monk)

Holy Monk 1 (Transmigrated as a Monk)

In the system space, the round and plump system lay in the corner.

Don't look at it just being a round dough ball, but after practice, its kneeling posture is now especially standard; it only hopes the host will be gentle.

Jiang He felt a man's dignity after a long absence, his mood complex.

Fifty years! In the previous world, he served as a eunuch for a full fifty years! That feeling, needless to say! A man truly knows to cherish only after losing it.

Actually Jiang He didn't not want to leave early; it's just that the black‑hearted emperor he himself raised would, whenever he thought of leaving, look at him with teary eyes and say, 'Uncle, are you leaving me again?'

At that time the emperor was already a middle‑aged man with a messy beard and a high hairline; his tear‑and‑snot‑streaked look was simply painful to the eyes!

Even the empress couldn't stand him; whenever this happened, she would turn and leave, lest her eyes be offended.

Jiang He couldn't help but reflect: surely it was because he was too competent, and his black‑hearted nephew felt the feeling of winning by lying down was too comfortable, wishing he would never retire and work until death!

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The liberated Jiang He felt elated, 'System, this time I must pick a world where I don't have to work!'

In the previous world, Jiang He felt exhausted, and he also wanted to win by lying down once!

To prevent the system from saying yes but doing no, he threatened, 'If you dare make me a eunuch again, I'll inject a virus into your system's core and turn you into a genderless system!'

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Even the system has a gender; it's a cute system boy, with many system girls flirting with it, doing well in the system, full of vigor.

The system silently cursed, 'How hateful, the dog host is all talk—clearly he himself is having fun without a care, but fearing point deductions he dare not personally go to the battlefield to kill enemies, so he secretly trained a female killer god, who secretly offered plans and strategies, almost conquering half the earth.'

Those plots and schemes, even a worldly‑wise system would find frightening!

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"Host, I've picked it—this world has high points." It smiled obsequiously, "This mission is simple; just moving your mouth is enough."

"Can do!" Jiang He was very pleased, lying still, moving only his mouth—perfect for him.

This time he also wants to win by lying down, as a vacation for himself.

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Jiang He looked around the desolate, ruined temple, raised his head to look at the roof—such a big hole, it must be miserable when it rains. And the bodhisattva inside the temple—this must be the bodhisattva of the beggar world, right?

He reached out and touched his smooth bald head, which in the sunlight resembled a light bulb, truly shining; he also touched his empty belly.

Yes, this time Jiang He has transmigrated into a bald donkey—no, I should say, a holy monk.

From his memories we learned that in his old age, the original host did extremely well; even the emperor in the palace had to address him as National Preceptor, and the common folk, when mentioning him, either shouted 'God' or called him 'Holy'.

By rights, a life‑winner should be like that, with no regrets.

But the original host spent the second half of his life in repentance; his lifetime of good deeds and virtue were all for one person.

After he turned into a barbarian, he slaughtered countless Central Plains people; later his biological son was beheaded in one stroke by this world's Child of Destiny.

"To give birth and not raise—what a scumbag!" Jiang He couldn't help muttering; even though he has now become the original host, he still wants to curse.

The system corrected: 'He only saw through the mortal world after his wife died; the couple was very loving, so he can't be called a scumbag, at most a deadbeat dad.'

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Yeah, your wife died, you had a great awakening and renounced the world, but have you thought about your seven‑year‑old son?

A seven‑year‑old child suddenly loses his parents—how is he supposed to live?

Jiang He condemned the original host in his heart and asked, 'What was the original host's wish?'

The system said carefully, 'He wants to become a holy monk, and also a good father!'

Even if letting the tasker take over his body, the original host wouldn't want his body defiled by another woman; being a monk, the tasker can only be a monk as well.

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Jiang He's mouth twitched slightly; he understood—this lifetime his persona is to both act and establish, to hold a cup of fine green tea, suffused with lotus fragrance, and still have people shout 'Holy Monk'.

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"Host, this mission seems hard to do, huh?" the system said hesitantly, but actually it was delighted inside.

If it's hard, they'll definitely have to spend to buy a Golden Finger; the host's blinding merit and points, it will deduct without hesitation.

It hinted, 'Look, which holy monk could have a son?' You have a son—who would believe you're a pure‑hearted, desireless holy monk? The mission difficulty really seems a bit tough.

So, the Golden Finger must be bought? The system is very eager.

The system continued recommending, 'Among the taskers there is also a Buddhist cultivator who wrote the Buddhist Cultivator Mission Guide, available for just one thousand points—you can buy a copy for reference! Also this Magical Wooden Fish, which can boost the audience's focus, now 99% off! And this Tongue‑Radiant Lotus, guaranteeing that when you curse TMD others will hear it as Sanskrit chant, now on special offer—not 9,999 but only 8,888!'

Jiang He looked at his face in the mirror; it's not bad, right?

The original host could become a master so quickly—this face definitely played a huge role! Fair skin, beautiful looks, and long legs; even wearing a sack, he'd exude an immortal aura, just standing there silent already gives a hint of the 'exiled immortal' feeling.

The original host's bone structure and appearance were top‑notch; his skull was superior, and after going bald his looks surged, becoming even more handsome than before.

As the saying goes, a bald head best tests a man's looks—and the original host is proof of that.

A man remains youthful till death; the original host, though a man in his late twenties, still gives off a pure, fresh youthful vibe, as if growing backward.

Jiang He sighed inwardly, 'If he had gone to modern society, relying solely on that face, what monk would he be? He'd definitely become a top‑tier star, or even worldwide famous!'

The system was speechless—so, the Golden Finger? Are we buying it or not? Give me a word!

The stingy host seemed not to hear its pitch—does this mean he firmly refuses to buy a Golden Finger?

The system, angry, gulped down ton after ton of data‑juice, 'If you're not buying, just say so early! I am the system, after all—saying all this also costs data.'

The system reminded, 'The current point in time is two years after the original host left home; his son Jiang Si Yin has been missing for a year and a half.'

This timing is very spiritual—equivalent to the original host stepping out the front gate, and his son disappearing out the back.

"Cough cough..."

Jiang He, still studying the original host's beauty, felt his throat suddenly itch.

At that time the original host was still at a low point in life; he bought a remote mountain, inherited a mountaintop temple on the verge of collapse, had not a single coin on him—just then the weather changed, a heavy rain poured outside while a light drizzle fell inside, and his cold and cough persisted for nearly a month without improvement.

Under the system's dead fish‑eye stare, Jiang He pulled out a pill he had made himself and swallowed it, guaranteeing it would cure his illness in a single night.

Seeing his miserly look, the system couldn't bear to watch.

Heh, surely it's because in the last world he slaughtered the clan too cleanly, deducting too many merit points, and the dog host's miserliness has upgraded again. There's obviously a one‑second cure‑all pill in the store, but he won't buy it, preferring to eat his own!

A lousy pill that only works after a whole night, and you won't even let it earn a single point, right?!

After taking the pill, Jiang He sat down to rest.

The original host's cold this time was especially severe, leaving a lingering ailment for the rest of his life; whenever the weather changed, he'd cough as if his lungs had a huge hole. Frankly, this pill could cure it completely, and in the next thousand years Jiang He feels he dares to call himself a divine doctor without blushing.

While resting, Jiang He chatted with the system: 'System, why not earlier by a year or so? If it were before the original host left home, or before his son went missing, the task would be much simpler.'

The system sighed: 'Host, only difficult tasks yield high points.'

Jiang He showed he understood; anyway, the time anchor point went wrong again and can't be fixed, so don't sugarcoat it.

"Host, what should we do now?" the system asked. "Let's quickly buy a fast horse and ride to the frontier—Jiang Si Yin is currently raising sheep for the Hu people! Besides, he's even taken a Hu couple as his adoptive parents… quick, quick, quick, while their feelings aren't deep yet, hurry and snatch him back."

Jiang He waved his hand and said slowly, 'No rush, let's plant fields first.'

Anyway, the Hu foster parents the son recognized treat him wholeheartedly, and feelings have been cultivated; the son's half‑Hu identity can't be washed away in this lifetime, and in the future of the Great Qing dynasty his path to officialdom is already blocked.

If he now goes to bring the original host's son back, it would be all harm and no benefit, and would affect his point‑scoring to become a holy monk.

After resting, Jiang He didn't waste a moment, picking up his hoe and heading to the rear mountain to weed.

There is a large tract of land here that has been opened up for planting vegetables; even feeding a hundred monks would be no problem.

Soon Jiang He rejected his own idea; he couldn't support a hundred monks because the land is too barren.

There are dozens of households at the foot of the mountain; if the mountain's land were fertile, someone would have already come to reclaim it.

But after working for two hours, Jiang He felt his body was utterly weak.

The original host's physique isn't great; starting tomorrow morning, he'll rise early to train, hoping to get his body in shape soon.

Back in the ruined temple, Jiang He used a towel to wipe the sweat from his back; bathing is a luxury, the spring is a bit far away, and from the original host's memory he knows the spring is halfway up the mountain.

He idly wondered, 'Will it be that from now on only a monk fetches water to drink?'

After changing clothes, Jiang He went to cook.

He scooped half a bowl of rice from the rice bin, cooked it, then mixed in the pickled vegetable clumps he'd finally found after searching the kitchen all day, gulped it down, worked up a sweat, and to the sound of raindrops falling into the wooden tub inside, finally slept soundly.

The next day, Jiang He rose early and then remembered something.

"I suddenly recalled, monks can become state preceptors just by talking, but monks can't eat meat."

Could he have been deceived by the system? Wanting to win by lying down isn't that easy either.

The system wisely shrank back and said nothing.

After breakfast and another round of training, Jiang He went out.

The spring drizzle pattered, gradually lessening, and mist filled the mountains.

Jiang He went to cut bamboo, split it into strips, baked them dry, then wove them into a large straw hat; wearing it, he still didn't look like a farmer, but rather like an immortal descended to the world.

The immortal descended to the world picked up his hoe and went to reclaim land.

These days he's grown tired of the pickled vegetable clumps; wild vegetables won't be tender for another two months, so if he wants something fresh he has to grow it himself.

The land on the mountain isn't fertile, and the vegetable plot has many stones; you need to pick out the clean stones before you can turn the soil.

Which is nobler, the son of an ordinary donkey or the son of a state preceptor? Even your backside can tell.

After turning the vegetable plot, Jiang He took out the seeds and scattered them.

Jiang He boiled water for tea, sipped coarse tea while admiring the rain scenery, then took pleasure in the vegetables he'd just planted that were already eager to sprout.

He continued lowering his head to dig a kiln; there are countless professions for time travelers, and as long as you wear many hats, you can be top scholar in any of the three hundred and sixty trades!

The system was speechless, equally helpless: 'Host, do you really need to fire tiles yourself?' One‑click house change would be nice, and its host isn't a pitiful newbie low on points.

The young villagers were astonished, 'Hasn't the temple on this mountain collapsed yet?'

Jiang He stroked his chin, feeling fortunate he hadn't gone to the cultivation world; monks there are pitiful, only able to eat grain‑avoiding pills, and the higher their cultivation, the more pitiful—they don't even eat those pills.

Jiang He built a frame for the newly planted flowers, slightly repaired the main hall and sleeping quarters of the ruined temple, especially the roof, and elsewhere he used various containers to collect rainwater.

Its host was deeply addicted to being a bricklayer; the system found it boring and had to go download dramas to kill time.

He casually asked, 'Is it free?'

Jiang He felt a bit moved by the comment, 'Can we still continue the trial?'

"What's going on? Why is there smoke on the mountain?"

Jiang He said, 'You don't understand.' Every brick, tile, flower, and grass was built by his own hands—what a sense of achievement.

Not like now, when the host can only bluff people with his appearance.

After the rain stopped for two days, it began again.

Damn it, it decided to oppose the host, refusing to believe the host could go on spending no points!

What a pity, there are no trial utensils.

"You don't know the joy of getting something for free.' He coughed a few times, then asked the system, 'If the mall had something for free, I wouldn't object either.'

The rainy season has ended; from now on it's all bright sunshine, the trees grow quickly, and we can continue doing other things.

The system's mall is indeed a profiteer; a novice host can't even earn ten thousand points from a single task, yet this cup of spiritual spring costs ten thousand points—why not go rob it!

The system doesn't understand, what's there to regret?

The system understood even less; it only knew the host's one‑round operation was fierce as a tiger, and when he looked back, the tiles were two‑hundred‑five!

The system recalled the previous world, where even as a cat it had earned so much merit; the host would surely earn even more.

Being a monk who eats vegetarian for a day, since there's no meat, you have to make the vegetarian dishes taste better than meat, otherwise this life really can't go on.

He examined it carefully in the sunlight and then said, 'What a pity.'

Jiang He firmly refused, 'Not buying!'

There are many trees on the mountain; he didn't cut too many, and just by himself repairing the Buddha hall and the few side rooms is already enough.

Jiang He looked at it disdainfully, "So, this is what you call a big bucket?" Hehe, never trust buyer's show.

He was pondering, in a few days he would harvest the vegetables from the field to make vegetable pancakes; not to brag, after brushing on the sauce he made, those thin vegetable pancakes are three parts tastier than meat.

Jiang He also gave a cold snort and turned his face away; anyone who asks him for money is his enemy!

Having just recovered from a serious illness, and then eating pickled vegetables every day, the medicine only treats colds, not some health cheat; Jiang He felt his body a bit weak after a long time.

The system was at a loss for words, then said righteously: "Other hosts definitely can't earn that, but you're different, host—you have plenty of merit points in each world; one merit can be exchanged for ten points, I, the system, have confidence in you!"

The disappointed system muttered to itself, "Sure enough, a tightwad!"

The rain finally stopped.

"Host, you forgot about your cheap son stranded on the grassland? If you don't go find him soon, he'll completely become a barbarian."

"No, the one who went up is clearly an immortal!" said the old woman, her eyes bright, "Only an immortal from heaven could be that handsome!"

"No discussion!" Jiang He firmly refused, "Half of the joy of living comes from food; without food, what's the point of living?" Even if he went to the cultivation world, his first choice would be to become a cultivator-cook; becoming a bald donkey is impossible.

Jiang He, however, was very satisfied with this tea set; he reclined sideways on the clean floor, gazing up at the stars, leisurely sipping tea.

The system chattered on and on, "Host, your temple looks truly awful; the bodhisattvas would feel wronged, right? The mall has temples, modeled after the Tianlian Temple where Buddhist sons of the cultivation world reside, today 88% off......"

The vegetables were unfurling at a speed visible to the naked eye, appearing edible within at most a week.

It's obvious the system had spent all its points again, which is why it's going all out to urge him to buy cheats, so it can get a kickback.

"Of course." The system gave him a three-drop trial pack.

Especially now that his cheap son has recognized the barbarians as his parents; if his fame isn't great enough, later the son won't have a good reputation in Daqing, and when Daqing goes to war with the barbarians, the Child of Fate will once again kill the cheap son, causing the mission to fail completely.

"Just think, a magnificent temple suddenly appearing in these mountains and wilderness would surely attract many pilgrims; perhaps even the emperor of this country would recognize you as the national teacher, and your mission would surely be completed quickly and well."

Jiang He didn't even lift his head, holding a shovel and digging a pool.

Jiang He glanced at his vegetable plot and asked, "Can I try it out?"

System:???? How do you intend to freeload?

Jiang He stopped and asked, "Isn't this task only worth 100,000 points?"

The system was bored and thought the host was simply ill; after going up the mountain, he busied himself all day with things the system considered a waste of time.

The system excitedly said, "Look, look, how great the effect is—how about buying a bucket?"

After watching a few more episodes, the system found time to pay attention to the host.

After the tiles were fired, Jiang He repeatedly rubbed them, then fell into contemplation.

He sighed, "With favorable winds and timely rains this year, it's sure to be a bumper harvest."

The system couldn't help but feel choked up; this dead cheapskate!

Hearing the system's words, his face showed an expression of sudden realization, "You reminded me; I've decided to freeload."

The system had only just begun watching the longest mother-in-law drama across the three thousand worlds—100,000 episodes in total—when, after snapping back to attention, it saw that a corner of the temple had already been built; although not the imagined gold-and-splendid, the blue-black tiles and white walls were still quite simple and elegant. The system was once again left speechless by the host's stinginess: "Host, how cheap are these bowls and cups? Not to mention you could buy them down at the mountain base; the system mall has piles of them, one point buys a whole set—do you really need to fire your own kiln?"

Spring rain is as precious as oil; no need to bother watering.

The villagers down the mountain curiously lifted their heads.

Jiang He took a sip of tea, "No rush; I'll go after I've earned enough fame."

The mountains grew more secluded, the trees greener, the birdsong more pleasant; Jiang He also began his own infrastructure-mania activities.

The system spared no effort in continuing to promote: "Host, the Bigu Dan is on discount, very cheap! Think about it—you can live without eating rice; if the emperor of this plane knew, he'd surely regard you as an immortal......"

The system immediately showed dead-fish eyes, "Gone, not a single drop left!"

"Really stingy." Jiang He complained, dissolving a drop of water and pouring it all over the vegetables.

But the host isn't just stingy; he also loves picking up junk, unable to throw away those useless cheats!

Whether points or merit, the host never wastes them; the cheats lying in the background are half‑given, half‑sold in the mall, some even won from free lottery draws; those cheats are mostly useless, the system itself disdains them, finding them in the way.

The bowls and cups the host fired could only be called rustic; after all, as a monk, overly fancy utensils would make people doubt his sincerity. Then the host made a set of tea ware, which at first glance looked no different from the earlier tableware; the system secretly laughed, thinking it would have been better to spend a few points buying a bulk batch in the mall.

After another sip of tea, Jiang He picked up a freshly steamed rice cake and stuffed it into his mouth, squinting his eyes contentedly; what a comfortable feeling to lie there with an empty mind!

He picked up a spoon, scooped water to irrigate the flowers; the flowers were all newly transplanted, and he didn't bother with their variety, just planting them en masse—any that survive will do.

In that misty rain, the vegetables had already sprouted faint green shoots; being watered by the rain made them especially pleasing, making one almost hear them greedily drinking water and straining to stretch and grow.

The system refused to give up, "Host, this spiritual spring has many benefits: it not only speeds up crop growth but also boosts bodily resistance, living to a hundred isn't a dream, and it can also beautify and nourish the skin......"

On the system forum it was said that host and system are complementary; the host's stinginess makes the system a moonlight clan, having swapped skins for the five system sisters it knows and given them a big data feast, which made them ecstatic.

The system gave a cold snort; indeed, freeloading has become addictive.

Jiang He worked with great vigor, doing everything himself by hand, exemplifying what an all‑capable big shot is.

The spring water is clear and sweet; dig a small pool, lay pebbles, plant a ring of flowers around it, and the ambiance appears immediately.

He sighed, and while working he recited a fitting poem: "At noon, hoeing the wheat, sweat drips onto the soil below..."

Jiang He slowly poured a cup of water; the cup was made of bamboo, the tea carried a fresh bamboo aroma, this mountain wild tea gained extra flavor.

A thin mist seemed to drape the green mountains in a sheer veil, making the trees greener, the flowers lovelier; the whole world looked like a poem and a painting, offering a unique natural mountain‑water delight.

Behind the temple there was a large bamboo grove; they had all gone to dig bamboo shoots there, and when heavy rain came they'd take shelter in the temple, which was truly so dilapidated that even mice wouldn't want to linger.

Jiang He set the shovel aside; the dug‑out pool was a mess of murk, and laying the stones would have to wait until tomorrow.

After disappearing for a few days and having eaten the big data feast of the top‑ranked promoter, the system finally rallied and said, "Host, want a cheat? The Strength Spell lets you become a strongman with one click, making tilling and digging effortless; you're currently a bald……monk, this One‑Click Scripture Mastery is 99 % off! By the way, do you want the Holy Monk's Halo? Although it costs 100,000 points, wearing it makes everyone recognize you as a high monk, a holy monk."

At noon the sun was warm; the villagers down the mountain were busy going to the fields to plant rice, while the girls were busy picking wild greens.

An uncle said, "A few days ago I saw a young monk go up there."

If the five system sisters fell for it, which should it choose? How troubling.

It eagerly produced a mini tiny bucket, only slightly bigger than a cup.

"Isn't there a temple on the mountain? Perhaps another monk has come to stay."

The remaining work should wait until the rain completely stops before doing it.

The system innocently said, "The big bucket I mentioned is relative to my size." It is just a cute little round ball; to it, that bucket is big enough. "Host, do you need me to deduct points for you? Automatic deduction requires no effort on your part......"

"You have to spend money anyway; if this temple isn't rebuilt soon it will collapse."

Jiang He remains unmoved, "I believe my personal charisma should work better than an aura!"

The system, which aspires to be a gold‑medal salesman, never admits defeat, "Since that's the case, want a spirit spring? For just ten thousand points you get a big barrel; these mortal vegetables will be ripe by tomorrow…"

However Jiang He does not answer its question; instead he watches the mud‑collecting spot for a long time, then shows a satisfied smile.

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