Chapter 55: Holy Monk 21 (Great White Snake Delighted to Be a Father)

Holy Monk 21 (Great White Snake Delighted to Be a Father)

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Early this morning, news of joy spread through Huangong: the inner palace has a child!

The current Emperor, when young, guarded the northwest and defended Daqing against Hu invasions; he is a hero in the people's eyes.

Since his ascension, he has lightened taxes and levies, rescuing every disaster; being of military background, he has a soldier's demeanor, and he especially loathes corrupt officials, so whenever disaster relief occurs, anyone who dares to reach out is immediately clawed off...

All these measures benefit the people, making the nation better and better.

The people's lives gradually improve; they can feel that since the Emperor took the throne, their days are more comfortable than before, so they wish him ever longer life.

It is said he now has a son; the people are delighted, and a peaceful succession to the throne could not be better.

Even the common folk, though unsophisticated, know the turmoil when imperial power changes; the impact is huge, and a careless person could become a victim of power‑grabbing conspiracies.

In Huangong, the Empress gently watches the child beside her.

This child is a repayment of gratitude; when she conceived him she felt little pain, the birth was smooth, and although the postpartum confinement season is summer and cannot use ice, this reduces the risk of confinement illnesses.

The Great White Snake flicks its tail outside the Empress's chambers, while a large wolf dog hops around trying to grab its tail.

The Great White Snake sways even merrily, and the human brat called Xiao Shizi also loves its tail; it is truly popular, surely more so than the parrot.

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Now the Empress is in confinement, claiming she hasn't bathed and smells, refusing his entry; of course the son is an exception, and as the Emperor he can only wait outside for his son to emerge.

When the Empress went into labor, he stood ready, inspecting the midwife and attending maids repeatedly, yet still failed to prevent it; a maid had blood‑circulating medicine smeared in the nail crevice.

At that moment the Great White Snake flicked its tail, pulling the maid out so she vomited blood and flew away.

The Emperor immediately ordered a strict interrogation, while anxiously waiting outside the hall for the Empress to give birth, he tugged the Great White Snake's tail and promised that whatever treatment he receives at meals, the Great White Snake will receive the same.

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It is not the Emperor's promise that moves it, but the Empress's kindness; she often orders snacks for it, and occasionally summons the girl who was once sold into the palace to bathe it and smooth its tail.

The Empress is far more considerate than the Emperor; everything she does aligns with its wishes.

The Emperor said, "Regardless, you have merit for saving the Empress."

The Emperor, a man of his word, generously bestowed a title upon the Great White Snake; now the palace staff salute it as the Marquis of Grace.

Upon hearing this, Feng Ming laughed so hard he fell off the roof, then disregarding rank rushed to hug his emperor brother‑in‑law, exclaiming repeatedly, "Brother‑in‑law Emperor, this title is wonderfully bestowed, truly wonderful!"

The Great White Snake was puzzled, but soon understood.

They are both grateful two‑legged beasts; it saved Feng Ming's sister, so it rejoiced beyond measure.

The Great White Snake does not know that Feng Ming's father is now so ashamed he dares not leave the house.

Historically, the Empress's biological fathers have been granted the title Duke or Marquis of Grace, but the current Lord Pingyuan—who is the Empress and Feng Ming's biological father—was previously a scoundrel.

He not only favored a concubine and eliminated his wife, even angered his former wife to death; eager to take a young, beautiful second wife, and under her urging his heart turned so vile that all the capital's noble families could not tolerate him, causing the Empress and Feng Ming's days before leaving the Feng family to be like soaking in bitter water.

Later, that second wife bore a child, and the two's lives grew even more miserable.

The scoundrel father even wanted to pass the title to his younger son, scheming against Feng Ming countless times; had the yet‑un‑exposed Empress not been clever and protected her younger brother, Feng Ming's grave would have been overgrown.

The tiger's venom does not even eat its own cubs, let alone a human.

Feng Ming went to the battlefield at twelve, reportedly to escape the family's petty domestic strife; the Empress often wept in secret, and at fifteen the following year Feng Ming earned a battle merit, and the Emperor directly appointed him as General Who Stabilizes the North and granted him a mansion.

The mansion is modest, but as long as he can leave Lord Pingyuan's mansion, Feng Ming feels even the stables there would be fine.

Once this happened, who didn't know the Emperor and Empress despise Lord Pingyuan's mansion?

Many mock Lord Pingyuan for being blind; the two children from his former wife are outstanding, yet he dotes on the frivolous offspring of his second wife, who is neither scholarly nor martial—truly, useless people love useless people.

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Historically, to prevent the Empress's lineage from being too weak, after his ascension the Emperor should have granted the Empress's father the title Marquis of Grace.

After Lord Pingyuan's father died, his own rank had already been reduced by one level; being image‑conscious, he felt his standing in the capital was no longer brilliant. At that time the legitimate eldest daughter was to be married off; the Emperor was only an ordinary prince, and to prevent the late emperor from overthinking, he chose the fallen noble's legitimate eldest daughter, Lord Pingyuan.

Lord Pingyuan once considered achieving merit to raise his title again, but he lacked talent; his only recourse was to marry a well‑connected second wife.

The second wife's reputation was poor, yet her family wielded power, so he ignored her abuse of the two children from his former wife, consoling himself that if her family were pleased, they might help him elevate his rank.

After all, if the title were raised, the position would later belong to the second wife's children.

As for the two children of his original wife? He had long stopped thinking of them.

Who could have imagined that the second wife's family brought him no glory, while the two neglected children would bring him honor? Yet those two children, mistreated by him, now hate him so deeply that reconciliation is impossible!

"Wuwu… a snake, a snake actually snatched my title!"

Lord Pingyuan drank himself into a stupor, then went berserk, cursing while smashing objects.

The surrounding servants dared not approach; they felt ashamed, and now if they go out and meet servants of other noble families, they wish to cover their faces.

The main family is worse than a snake; Lord Pingyuan's mansion is a joke in the capital.

The Great White Snake is clever and quickly grasps the meaning of its Marquis of Grace title.

It stretches its tail, pats the slender back of the young Feng Ming, and, for once, uses a bit of spiritual energy to communicate with him.

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Feng Ming was instantly stunned, his cute face becoming indecisive.

If it were a person in front of him, he would have stabbed him already, but this is a snake, a naive, innocent snake with no scheming.

Only such a snake could utter these words.

It is a snake; can it bear a son as big as him?

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He bluntly said, "People are still not as good as a snake! At least, his own father might not rescue his sister, but this snake saved his most important sister."

Upon hearing this, the Emperor was so shocked his mouth gaped, feeling dizzy and stunned.

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At that moment, the emperor even wanted to impulsively beat Feng Xiaozi to death; Feng Xiaozi himself didn't mind acknowledging a snake as his father, but he, as the emperor, still minded that his father-in-law was a snake!

Not long after the young crown prince was born, Feng Ming and the big white snake were patrolling the streets, calling the big white snake "dad" over and over, causing passersby in the capital to stare wide-eyed, each pulling at their ears as if they had gone deaf.

They followed behind the person and the snake in a daze, personally witnessing the Snake Immortal looking very much like a father, and they took out money to buy candied haws for Feng Xiaozi.

Big white snake: "Hiss hiss hiss!"

The big white snake used its spiritual power to tell Feng Ming: "What other people's children have, you should also have!"

It had the air of a father, knowing that a father should love and protect his child; although Feng Xiaozi wasn't its biological offspring, since it had taken on the role of father, it ought to do it well.

Feng Ming's mood was quite complicated; he watched the children crowding around the candied haws, drooling, without saying that he had already grown up and was no longer at an age to want candied haws. But he suddenly recalled that, when he was young, his father bought candied haws for the half-brother born to his stepmother, and he had truly wished his father would also buy him a stick.

Feng Ming took the candied haws, called out "dad" in a crisp voice, and said he loved eating candied haws.

The big white snake satisfiedly continued forward, its body twisting, feeling that it truly was a good father!

It could not only serve as an ancestor for people, but also as a father.

Just then, a forty- or fifty-year-old old man lunged forward.

"Ahhh, my snake ancestor!" he burst into tears, shedding both tears and snot.

The big white snake and Feng Ming stopped at the same time to look at him.

"You have taken the Zhenbei General as your son, then I am your grandson..." Yu Yuanwai wept until his eyes turned red, glaring fiercely at Feng Ming: "Wanting to be my father? You wish!"

Even if the person before him is the Zhenbei General, whose status is higher than his, a mere sixteen-year-old brat could absolutely not be his father!

Feng Ming: "..." He hadn't expected this.

The people around couldn't help but open their mouths wide, no longer knowing how to react.

So what kind of world is this? A snake was ennobled as a marquis by the Daqing Emperor and even became the father of the Daqing's fourth-rank generals; moreover, a wealthy yuanwai has taken a snake as his ancestor, possibly even having to call a general of roughly the same age as his grandson "father".

Suddenly they felt that something in their country was not quite right.

Jiang He's routine on the grassland was very regular: work three days, rest two days.

The herders all remembered his working hours, for if they didn't, they might go looking for the master only to find him not at home.

They didn't understand medicinal herbs, and when the master rested, he was usually out gathering herbs.

The grassland is not like the Central Plains, where the mountains are many and medicinal herbs abundant; finding herbs on the grassland is extremely troublesome, and it is said that the master has to buy herbs from merchants coming from the Central Plains.

Jiang He: "..."

"By the way, Master, what is the black grass planted outside?" the crown prince asked.

The crown prince was deeply moved; these recipes could make money!

Jiang He had finished treating all the patients, and already more than half an hour had passed.

Jiang He shook his head: "If you don't mind, just wait a little while."

Now that the host has intervened, the Shuwu Chanyu will surely live a long time; perhaps in the future the crown prince will also be among those who have been "crown prince for N years".

Eating roasted meat every day causes internal heat; this dish is aimed at counteracting that.

When he returned to the reception room, he saw the crown prince playing chess with a parrot, one person and one parrot locked in a fierce battle; upon seeing the master return, the crown prince secretly resented his early return.

He felt that unless the grasslands were unified and he could lead more warriors, he truly did not want to fight the Central Plains again.

The Hu people are grateful and repay kindness; they come devoutly, all willing to worship the gods and buddhas that the master has always worshipped.

If it weren't for the crown prince and the Chanyu valuing him, constantly assigning guards, they would really have wanted to kill this hateful bald donkey!

The divine doctor gave them a meaningful glance: "This is indeed a good thing; it can cure most of your ailments."

The second and third younger brothers are not born of the same mother as him; the younger brother of the current consort is a great clan chief of the Ironfull Tribe, and the two have teamed up to oppose him, the eldest son; if it weren't for the father king's favoritism toward him, he would have long been suppressed.

If we speak of the Shuwu Chanyu's many sons, who most hopes for his longevity and health, it is certainly the eldest son.

At the beginning of last year, in the war with Daqing, his fourth and fifth sons died on the battlefield; if not rescued in time, his eldest son would likely have perished as well.

Jiang He readily gave the recipes and also taught the crown prince how to make tofu and sprout beans.

As a prince, to seize that position he needed to spend money in so many places; the second and third princes' maternal clans were wealthy and could support many people, leaving him pitiable, with no maternal clan to rely on; if not for the father king's ample secret allowance, he might not even be able to sustain his own faction.

Thus, Jiang He the monk finally got to eat tofu, feeling deeply moved; grinding tofu is laborious and time-consuming, but now he doesn't have to do it himself—the crown prince, to thank him, sends hot soy milk and tofu every day, so he finally lives a life where he can have tofu without leaving home.

The Chanyu was overjoyed, laughing heartily: "This thing grows fast, isn't picky about soil, and doesn't need much water; from now on we finally won't have to worry about drought."

Jiang He's face showed a solemn expression; he said he no longer wanted to look at hemorrhoids, and such ailments must be completely eradicated.

The parrot laughed "ga ga ga": "The Chanyu is healthy and sound, which is truly delightful."

But he thought to himself that, without the host's intervention, your father would die next year, and die in a most disgraceful way—people would lose face talking about it, like massive anal bleeding and such.

Seeing the crown prince approach, Jiang He apologetically told the queueing Hu people: "I, the poor monk, have a distinguished guest; please wait a moment."

Everyone suddenly understood, and then each rushed to ask the divine doctor for vegetable seeds; in their eyes, this wasn't just vegetables, it was divine medicine!

Sugar is expensive on the grasslands, so milk tea is salty; if you boil milk and tea together, then add ghee and salt, and if there are spices you add them too—who would have thought that this oil-free milk tea would be so fragrant and delicious?

Having brought the crown prince into the separate reception room, Jiang He served tea and the like, then pulled out the parrot to have it help with hospitality.

This herd mentality made those men very candid.

The Chanyu said nothing, lowering his gaze as if pondering something.

Which meat-eating herder does not have some bitterness of the five-grains cycle?

"It would be better in Daqing."

The crown prince recalled that war, and he too felt lingering fear.

If it weren't for the Son of Destiny, Feng Ming, who cut off the original host's son's head, this crown prince might still have had a chance to contend for the Central Plains.

Only the upper nobility could manage this thing called caramel.

"Have another cup of milk tea," the parrot said sympathetically.

The crown prince neither knew the parrot's thoughts nor realized how close he had once been to the Chanyu's position; who would have thought hemorrhoids could be fatal? Though hard to speak of, this is a shameful affliction many grassland men suffer, yet no one regards it as a fatal illness.

The parrot almost died laughing, extremely sharp-tongued: "Host, in the Central Plains you were looking at obstetrics and gynecology; now you're looking at men's health—indeed you prefer looking at women?"

At least in Daqing, he never had to treat men for such an indescribable ailment.

Jiang He quickly came up with a method.

The Crown Prince looked at the milk tea he had personally brewed, his heart filled with a sense of accomplishment, he picked it up and took a sip, his eyes lighting up involuntarily.

The Crown Prince's eyes gleamed, and he instantly understood the value of this black feather grass.

Soon, the caramel milk tea was ready.

"What is caramel?" the Crown Prince wondered curiously.

The Divine Doctor was very generous, openly stating that this plant grows quickly; once planted, it will soon spread in large patches.

Before, it didn't matter if there were no vegetables; as long as there was meat, it was fine. Now that we've discovered how delicious this vegetable is, of course we must plant it!

The Crown Prince drank two more cups of milk tea, sighing: "It seems the Master is quite skilled in culinary arts; Father finally agrees to eat wild vegetables now."

"Delicious!"

Of course, they don't listen to the scriptures, because they can't understand them and aren't interested; they only want the Divine Doctor to treat their illnesses.

As they spoke, the Chanyu's tiger eyes filled with tears.

The Hu people couldn't help muttering in their hearts.

That mad kid surnamed Feng from the Central Plains, whose height hadn't even reached his shoulder, wielded a big knife with mighty vigor, nearly beheading him with a single slash. This incident once gave him nightmares; whenever he thought of that shorty, he felt a chill on his neck.

"Father, I think Master Xuanji and the Central Emperor are probably just an ordinary doctor-patient relationship." The Crown Prince voiced his opinion, "If he were sent by the Central Emperor, he certainly wouldn't have given us the precious black feather grass."

The thick-skinned Hu people brought precious tea sugar to trade, especially those who, after eating a meal of the Master's black hair vegetable, immediately went home without a word to till the land and plant vegetables.

The Hu people who recognized the distinguished guest as the Crown Prince naturally didn't mind, smiling and saying, "Please go ahead and be busy, Master; we'll come back this afternoon."

The parrot rolled its eyes, said nothing, and obediently stood opposite the Crown Prince, having grown accustomed to its master being too busy to catch it for conscription.

After hearing that, the Crown Prince couldn't help but sigh softly: "Few families on the steppe can afford sugar."

His eyes were full of joy, very pleased that his father's health had recovered.

Only the Second and Third Princes hated Master Xuanji to the bone.

On the steppe, they eat mostly meat; don't think they don't like other foods—it's not that the steppe can't grow grain.

Thus the Hu people were astonished to discover that the Divine Doctor had planted many black, hair-like wild grasses around the tents; this thing's appearance is not high at all, looking unpleasant, its only advantage probably being that it grows quickly, reaching their calves in just a few days.

This time the Crown Prince came to obtain a wild vegetable recipe; his father has already taken a liking to dressed wild vegetables, but eating them every day would get boring, so he wanted to ask the Master for new recipes to vary the dishes.

While investigating the black feather grass, the Crown Prince also didn't hinder his other affairs.

Ah, I'm really curious what expression he'd have if he knew he'd lost the chance to grasp great power—probably he wouldn't feel grateful to that black-hearted host of his! No, maybe he'd rather slash the host with a knife!

Jiang He calmly said, "Crown Prince, this is black feather grass; people can eat it and it can cure illness, livestock can also eat it, but it must be dried or cooked before consumption."

"Good flavor?" This thing looks like it wouldn't taste very good, huh?

However, the Crown Prince got a lucky break—the old Chanyu didn't die suddenly; before his death he had enough time to seize the power of his two younger sons, so the Crown Prince's ascent was very easy, and later he even unified the steppe.

The two princes felt they couldn't just wait for doom, contemplating whether to risk their father's wrath to kill the monks, when the Crown Prince's people returned with the results of the black feather grass investigation.

Growing on the steppe, he recognized all kinds of grasses there; upon first seeing this black grass similar to chives, it spread in large patches, and the Crown Prince worried that this black grass would seize the land, leaving no pasture grass for livestock to eat.

The Crown Prince then asked how to make caramel; he has three sons and four daughters, and his children would surely like this milk tea even more than he does.

Tofu can be made into many dishes; after obtaining his recipes, the Crown Prince gained even more face before the Chanyu, since the Chanyu had grown tired of wild vegetables, and having tofu to eat was just right for a change of flavor.

Caramel isn't some rare treasure; after a few tries someone will surely know how to make it, it's not high-tech, so the parrot promptly explained its method.

However, the men's department isn't much better either; he doesn't want to look at those male things.

The Chanyu probably also knows this, being especially partial to the eldest son.

"Crown Prince, first brew the tea, then add milk, and finally two spoonfuls of caramel—then the delicious caramel milk tea is ready."

This also convenient for himself; there's no one on the steppe who knows how to make tofu, he can't even buy it anywhere—it's too hard on the monastics.

"Master!"

The Crown Prince dismounted from his horse, smiling as he walked into the yurt whose interior had been renovated into a temple.

The attendants stepped forward to help, but the Crown Prince stopped them; he wanted to do it himself, anyway the Master is currently free, so it's a good way to pass the time.

Jiang He solemnly said, "Nonsense! I'm not a men's clinic now; I'm a proctology department!"

The Crown Prince followed the parrot's instructions step by step; this task is quite simple, even someone who can't cook can handle it.

Someone ran over to ask, and the Divine Doctor replied: "This is black feather vegetable; it clears heat and detoxifies, tastes good..."

When the Crown Prince left, he had people pull up a lot of black feather grass to take back, and also sent people to check on the herders who had planted black feather grass.

Thus, while in Hu territory, Jiang He treated a large area of hemorrhoids; moreover, eight out of ten patients were men coming for this condition, and the Hu people felt no embarrassment, after all the Chanyu himself had this ailment, so it was nothing strange for them to have it too.

How precious is something that both people and animals can eat; no wonder the father said to treat those monks and Daoists kindly.

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