Chapter 146: Old Man-Taming

After dressing, Xu Jia left the room and saw Xiao Hong holding a washcloth in her hand.

"Xiao Hong, this young master is devoted to the Dao; in the future, do less of that sneaking around to watch me bathe!"

After saying this, Xu Jia slipped away, leaving Xiao Hong on the spot, muttering to herself: "Who snuck a look! Don't you go slandering an innocent person; if I wanted to look, I'd look openly and honestly!"

After all, this was not exactly an honorable thing, yet she couldn't even bring herself to argue loudly.

Because Xu Jia had returned, the kitchen had specially prepared several dishes according to his previous instructions: a clear soup with water chestnut, yam, and meatballs; angelica root braised lamb; chicken and millet porridge; two seasonal vegetables; and a plate of wild mushrooms foraged from the mountains.

The family of three sat down to eat. Xu Mu had taken a vow to eat vegetarian, so she only touched the two vegetable dishes. Xu Fu also ate delicately: "The document you mentioned last time about building a small temple has been approved by the County Magistrate. It is indeed for an Earth Temple, plus a private school, a kitchen, and a woodshed."

Xu Jia said: "That Earth Deity is not reliable in his work, but since I promised him half of the Incense Fire, I will have his statue placed alongside the statue of the Jinsha Creek deity."

"By the way, that Earth Deity also mentioned a jar of silver last time to be used for building the temple. Has it been dug up yet?"

"The silver did reach us," Xu Fu said. "But we didn't dig it up. It's strange to say, but the day before yesterday, I dreamed of a little man, yellowish in color and about three inches tall. He came carrying a jar of silver, asked me if I was so-and-so, and had me sign my name before he left."

"When I looked the next day, there was a jar that looked like an urn for ashes—very inauspicious. Inside was silver mixed with yellow mud. When we broke the jar, it was exactly one hundred taels."

"I suppose it was one of the spirits under the Earth Deity. No need to worry about him; just get the temple built."

"The matter of building the temple has been completely handed over to the clan patriarch. Once an auspicious day is chosen, work will begin. The main thing is that there will be a private school, plus some farmland, which is exactly what our Xu family needs."

"This hundred taels belongs to the Earth Deity, and it is quite enough, but our family cannot contribute nothing. Your mother and I discussed it and decided to still contribute the eighty taels we promised earlier. Added to what the clan donated, there is about two hundred taels. Not to mention anything else, we will buy more land. Once I pass the provincial examination, I will build another ancestral hall in this place, and set up a clan school inside it."

"Plan it however you like, Father. I don't live in that temple. The ones in charge are that group of minor demons who ate with us last time. They want to perform good deeds, accumulate Incense Fire, and increase their Daoist Practice, so they are just borrowing the Earth Deity's name. However, that Jinsha Creek deity has indeed become one of my Protector Shenzhi."

"What kind of big talk is that?" Xu Fu said. "The County Official is not as important as the one currently in charge. How many people drink the water from Jinsha Creek? Even if the divine rank is low, you shouldn't be so arrogant as to insult it."

Xu Jia laughed: "That turtle-son Xu Yi is theirs; he's just being fostered in our home to learn culture. The Ink Pill that made you fart when you ate it last time was also a gift from them."

"Speaking of which, the Yellow Immortal Temple on Tianliang Shan also needs to be managed properly."

Huang Pipo is not good at management, and the one worshipped in the Yellow Immortal Temple is Huang Muchun. The Dharma Lord is not Xu Jia, so Xu Jia actually doesn't care much. But since Huang Pipo has followed him, then as for Huang Muchun, I'm sorry, but the main hall belongs to me; you can move to the side hall.

Tianliang Shan is just a small hill, but the Yellow Immortal Temple has been operating for a long time, and its popularity is still quite high; it had just fallen into decline before.

Xu Jia now wants to "cheat," so he must harvest Incense Fire and Dharma Money, and it must be Dharma Money related to himself. Even if not used for "cheating," Incense Fire and Dharma Money have many benefits.

For example, using them to enlighten the Dharma Realm, manage the Daochang, pay the Spirit Generals guarding the altar, recruit Yin soldiers, and enlighten Chang soldiers.

After finishing the meal, Xiao Hong brought over a pot of warmed rice wine and fetched the Five Elements Pill.

"This is the pill medicine that the young master ordered me to refine."

Xu Jia poured out twenty-four pills, swallowed them with the wine, and said to Xu Fu and Xu Mu: "These are pills for Longevity, lightening the body, and resisting aging. You two should take some around meal times every day, eight or nine pills at the least, or ten or more at the most. It can fill the deficiencies and return you to the state of your youth."

"This? You refined it yourself, can it be eaten? Won't it kill someone?"

"I didn't put cinnabar or sulfur in it. Besides, even if I did, you'd have to take a large amount every day to die from it. A small amount of cinnabar has the effect of calming the spirit, and a small amount of sulfur has the effect of supporting the yang energy."

Xu Jia retorted: "If I wanted to poison you, I'd just mix arsenic into your rice."

"Besides, I have been eating them for a long time. Would I recommend something to you two if it weren't good?"

Xu Fu thought about it and decided it was true, so he counted out eight pills and swallowed them with wine. Immediately, his body felt warm, a very comfortable sensation. He didn't know if it was the effect of the rice wine or the pill, as pills usually don't take effect so quickly.

Xu Mu also took some and said: "I watched the making of this stuff; it's all things like yam, Solomon's seal, and red dates. No matter what, it won't kill anyone. He even added honey to balance it. You are just too afraid of death!"

Xu Fu chuckled: "Who knows!"

Xu Jia laughed: "Alright, in the past, our financial resources were insufficient, so I only taught you some methods of reading and chanting. Now that we have pills and are no longer short of money, I will teach my parents some introductory health-preservation methods. Living a long life is never a mistake."

There was no argument about this. After all, neither of them lived a life of hardship; if life is miserable, it's better to be dead. Since they are living to enjoy life, it is naturally better to live longer.

The method Xu Jia taught was different from Xiao Hong's. His was a dynamic stance method. Xu Fu and Xu Mu were already over forty, and their tendons and bones were hard to stretch and loosen, so Xu Jia taught them the "Six-Character Method," a way to purge the Qi of the five internal organs, exhaling waste gas and nourishing the vitality of Longevity. With the medicinal power of the Five Elements Pill, they would gradually nourish themselves back to a youthful physical state. "This pill seems to have some effect." Xu Fu touched his belly, and then let out two farts, *pfft, pfft*.

Xu Mu was speechless: "Why do you have so many farts!"

Xu Fu was embarrassed and angry: "This is called 'releasing flatulence'!"

Xu Jia pinched his nose: "The method I just taught is suitable for practicing facing the sun every morning. At night, near the Zi hour, it is suitable for practicing facing the north. It is not recommended to practice at noon."

"Fine," Xu Fu said. "I was already planning to read in the morning; I'll practice my body well. Even if I can't become a sage, I can serve as an official for a few more years."

Xu Mu said: "If you become an official, you'll surely be indulging in debauchery. I'll practice my body well too, so I can supervise you and keep you from messing around."

"I am a reader of the sage's books, how could I mess around? We have been an old married couple for so many years..."

"That's because you're old and your body is weak. When you were young, you played very wildly; I don't even want to talk about you. Once your body gets better, I'm afraid you'll be even more restless."

While the two were bickering, Xu Jia slipped out, left the house, and headed toward the Fox Immortal Hall, all the while pondering the meaning of the scripture he had just taught.

In the Fox Immortal Hall, Hu Jinhua was holding the fort, while Huang Pipo had taken the little weasels back to the Yellow Immortal Temple.

Xu Jia's mind stirred, and the minor demons under this Lineage felt his will. Although Huang Muchun was the ancestor, he still had to make room for Great Immortal Xu.

The slovenly Daoist was no longer slovenly; he was wearing a peasant's clothes, holding a hoe in his hand, and was being supervised by the little foxes: "Work faster! If you don't work, you don't eat! You don't even know how to plant vegetables!"

"Oh my, you youngsters, you have no respect for the elderly at all. I am already nearly seventy years old, an age to enjoy life; how can I be farming?"

"Seventy? Do you not have to work just because you're seventy? You actually dared to swindle and deceive, and you swindled our Master Xu! Three thousand taels of silver—do you know how many years you have to farm to earn those three thousand taels? Hurry up and plant!"

Seeing the little foxes bullying the old man for fun, Xu Jia couldn't help but reprimand them: "What are you doing? Did the principles you learned go into someone else's belly? Why couldn't they get into your own?"

"Yes, yes! You finally came! I've been working here for a long time! I've even got blisters!"

"Master Xu, this old man just slacks off. He says he is a high-ranking Daoist, and when we ask him a question, he says this question costs fifty taels, and that one costs a hundred. When we are chanting, he just talks about how to learn the bullshit spells of the Buddhist school. It makes us really unable to bear it, but we haven't done anything to him."

Hearing this, Xu Jia looked at the Daoist who had turned into a peasant, and he looked inexplicably more pleasing to the eye: "Does the old gentleman still intend to pass on the Celestial Master Register to me?"

"I will pass it on, three thousand taels of silver and I'll pass it to you."

"Does it come with the Celestial Master Seal?"

"The Celestial Master Seal is on Longhu Mountain; you can go get it, or refine a Celestial Master Seal yourself and just write the two characters 'Celestial Master' on it," Wang Mintong said with a serious face.

"If carving a seal makes it a Celestial Master Seal, then if you wear a dragon robe, do you look like the Crown Prince?"

"You can't say things like that; it's a capital offense."

"I don't have three thousand taels of silver. You have to lower the price; maybe I'll agree to buy it cheap!"

"Don't buy it cheap!" Xu Jia said. "I can see it now. If you really are a high-ranking Daoist, you must have come to test me. I can definitely withstand the test."

After saying this, he instructed Hu Jinhua: "When he falls asleep, test his dream realm."

Hu Jinhua said: "This old man can endure; he just hasn't been sleepy. I've been yawning for a long time."

"Old people sleep less, so it's normal for him to stay up; let's observe him for a few more days," Xu Jia said with a chuckle. "Keeping him as a mascot is fine too. Having an elder in the house is like having a treasure. Try to squeeze something out of him; if you can't, just have him serve as the temple keeper. It just so happens that the temple we talked about earlier needs to be built."

"This is picking up a ready-made one. This old man may have no other skills, but he certainly has the ability to hoodwink people. As a temple keeper and receptionist, interpreting lots and divination, he is sure to be an expert."

Hu Jinhua was also very satisfied. After all, this temple was nominally for the Earth Deity, but in reality, it was he who managed affairs. It was just that his virtue was insufficient, and he was not qualified to establish a small temple. If he wanted to build a shrine for an evil cult, he would inevitably have to go into the deep mountain gullies and could not come to a place like this.

(End of this chapter)