Chapter 95: Unbearable Gifts

Vivian’s POV

Vivian was convinced that Ryan Terrell could read minds.

What else was she supposed to think with the way that things were currently going?

Just a little while ago, she had been lamenting the unfairness of her having only two things from him, a necklace and a shell, while he on the other hand had gotten her heart without her even realizing that she had given it to him.

Now out of nowhere, the man was showering her with gifts.

Expensive chocolates, colorful flower bouquets, money for her to treat herself with, concert tickets, rare books containing drawings made by some of Vivian’s favorite artists in history... and jewelry so much jewelry.

He had even made an attempt at buying her a car. The man had let her know in no uncertain terms that the lowest he was willing to go when it came to that was cars that started at a million.

Vivian had turned him down instantly. It might have thrilled her a little to know that he was willing to spend such a large amount of money on her, but she had known better than to accept.

Taking her no on that matter to mean that she wanted bigger, the man had then tried to buy her a yacht.

When she had refused, he had asked if she would be alright with him buying her an island of her own, instead of just naming one after her.

After turning down that particular offer, she had actually asked Ryan if everything was alright with him. His response had been to ask her if she would be ok with him transferring ownership of Vivian’s Rose over to her.

As extreme as it all was, and sudden too, Vivian could tell that Ryan was just getting started.

Each time that he had offered her a gift, there had been a manic gleam in his eyes, a desperation, that she had not been able to name, and Vivian had no idea what to do with that.

***

Staring at Ryan’s latest gift to her, an expensive top of the line watch. Vivian casually admired its beauty before putting it into the jewelry box that she’d had to purchase when Ryan’s gifts had started getting out of control.

Closing the lid she put the box away, and went to sit in her living room...thinking.

Had he started showering her with gifts a little earlier, before Vivian had found out the truth. Before she had seen the flawless woman, then she would have been flattered. Every time that Ryan gave her a gift, Vivian was certain that her heart would have sung.

But now the most reaction that she could make herself have to all of the presence was shock at how expensive they were. For the sake of keeping up appearances, she tried to act delighted. But Vivian always got the feeling that Ryan was not buying it. That he saw right through all of her mechanical smiles, that even though she laughed, he could tell that the sound was hollow. That the sound was coming from a place that was less than genuine.

***

Despite having decided that she would stay by Ryan’s side as long as she could bear it.

Vivian was not doing a very good job of pretending that nothing had changed.

In the past, whenever they had been together, the chances of them having sex had almost always been between ninety-nine to a hundred percent.

But now they had dropped down to numbers so low that they were almost in their negatives. Her body was still attracted to him, she still wanted him badly. But every time Vivian thought of kissing Ryan, or of having his dick in her, she thought of him with that other woman, with Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth, and she just could not make herself go through with it.

The few times that she was able to make herself sleep with him, it was not as enjoyable as it had always been. Not because Ryan’s skill was diminishing. But because Vivian often found her mind wandering. Her thoughts punishing her as she compared herself to the flawless Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth.

Was Gwendolyn better in bed than her. Did she kiss better, moan more seductively, was she tighter than Vivian? Did Ryan prefer her over Vivian? What did he like that Gwendolyn did that Vivian did not do? Those were the thoughts that plagued Vivian and with each passing day they got worse.

***

It was awful living like that, but Vivian could not make herself let him go.

Now she was just hoping that, if she hung on long enough, just as she had done with Bryce, she would develop a thick skin. It would still hurt her to know that she was only second best. But she would be grateful for that. That she would find it in herself to just be glad that she had a place in Ryan Terrell’s life.

But since she had not yet come to that level of acceptance. More often than not Vivian found herself making excuses not to see Ryan in person. Or to leave as soon as possible.

It was not a sustainable solution( in fact it was more like trying to patch a giant leak with a dollop of glue). If she carried on doing that, pretty soon Ryan would no longer be buying the excuses. He would either confront her outright, or he would end things with her and go look for a woman who was willing to have sex with him without expecting more from him.

If she wanted to stay in his life, even if it would be in such a situation. Vivian needed to get her jealousy under control, and fast. She was not Ryan Terrell’s girlfriend, never had been and never would be. She was just his pleasure thing.

Someone that he called upon when he needed to come. The sooner she accepted that truth, the sooner she would be able to endure all that was going on. Vivian hoped that it happened soon. Maybe if she gave herself a bit more time away from him, she would be able to accept that truth.