Chapter 7: Chickens Flying, Dogs Jumping in the Bridal Chamber

Finally found her, Ling Xiao sighed, "Where are you?"

Shi Ran sat up straight at once, obediently replied, "I'm in the bridal sedan!"

On the other side, after a long silence, Shi Ran realized, "Master, I don't know where this is either, but I heard that ghost old lady say I have to marry that You-whatever lord!"

"Youming Hiejun?"

The Underworld's top tyrant; it's said even the Judge gives him three parts of respect; he usually prefers women, often abducting virtuous female ghosts as concubines, and now he already has over two hundred rooms of concubines.

"The second hundred..."

"I'm the two hundred and eighteenth room's concubine!" Shi Ran blurted out.

How could he still sound a bit proud? Ling Xiao frowned!

"Hey! This isn't the point, Master; the point is that senior sister was also captured by them!" Shi Ran couldn't be certain, but it's pretty much certain; more importantly, even if I guessed wrong, Master could come and rescue her from fire and water! So whether Mei Ruoxue is present or not doesn't really matter!

"What!" No wonder he got a snub at the Judge's place, saying he hadn't seen Ruoxue, and without even asking what she looked like, he impatiently told him to leave.

Ling Xiao was about to ask for details when, coincidentally, a sedan carried by four ghosts appeared at the street corner, ostentatiously parading through the market; the wandering ghosts lining the street all lowered their heads to avoid it, and seeing the sedan sink slightly, the four ghosts strained to carry it.

Ghosts are light, humans heavy; it looks like the one sitting in the bridal sedan is Shi Ran.

Ling Xiao thought, then stepped to follow the bridal sedan at a distance; if Ruoxue really was abducted by Youming Hiejun, what excuse could he use to take her away?

It's said Youming Hiejun likes not only beautiful female ghosts but also sparkling pearls, and he happens to have a Bihai Pearl in his hand…

"Master! Master! Master!" Shi Ran called many times, but Ling Xiao gave no reply; anxious, she shook the bridal sedan, "What should I do? I've never married a living person—do I have to marry a ghost first?"

No way, she had to think of a way to escape, but for some reason, since arriving in the Underworld she had lost all her cultivation and couldn't even summon Ice Stream; that ghost old lady easily got a hold of her.

Either this place has a restriction, or the pill Master gave her is problematic; she can't meet force with force, so she must rely on wit—making her submit is impossible!

However, Shi Ran unwilling, the bridal sedan would eventually reach its end; the ghost old lady reached out to Shi Ran, smiling eerily, "Get down, bride—an hour of spring night is worth a thousand gold! Let our king enjoy you thoroughly!"

Damn you! Shi Ran rolled her eyes hard under the bridal kerchief, "How dare you abduct me as a bride! I hope you regret this, ghost old lady!"

Just as she stepped out of the bridal sedan, Ling Xiao's voice sounded in her mind, "Stay calm, don't panic—hold back Youming Hiejun!"

"Hold back?" How could she do that? Would she have to sacrifice her looks? That's utterly impossible! Shi Ran angrily bumped the ghost old lady aside and strode into the courtyard.

The ghost old lady had never seen such an anxious bride before, yet just moments ago she was crying for her lover—how could she change so quickly?

The ghost old lady didn't understand, but it didn't stop her from going to Youming Hiejun for a reward; she happily trailed after Shi Ran.

After waiting long without a reply, Ling Xiao stood on the wall, somewhat anxious; seeing Shi Ran about to disappear into the Second Courtyard, he could only take a talisman, seal it, and turn it into a tiny Ling Xiao Flower that floated down onto her shoulder.

Shi Ran suddenly stopped.

"What's wrong with the bride?" the ghost old lady turned to look at her.

"Nothing!" Shi Ran tugged her veil, slipped the Ling Xiao Flower into her hair, "The veil's askew!"

"No problem!" the ghost old lady looked left and right, very satisfied with her move this time; usually when she brings a bride back, the wailing ghosts hurt her ears even though she herself is a ghost.

This bride is quiet and obedient, gorgeous and perfect‑figured; a twist of her waist might delight the lord, perhaps even making her his favorite concubine!

"The lord will probably come later, don't be nervous—men and women, it's just that thing," the ghost old lady led her to an East Room, helped Shi Ran onto the bed, seeing her obedient she added, "Nothing to fear; although male ghosts seem to enjoy it, we definitely get the first pleasure—relax and enjoy! Our lord is quite capable!"

What foul talk is this! Shi Ran's face turned red enough to boil an egg, and Master still had a hairpin in her hair!

Ling Xiao:.....

The ghost old lady chattered on; to stop her from saying more vulgarities, Shi Ran kept nodding, "Okay, okay, okay! I know, old lady, don't worry—I'll definitely enjoy it! Lie back and enjoy!"

The ghost old lady blinked, then laughed, "It's not just lying down—you can sit up too, or even kneel!"

Ling Xiao:...... Who'll get rid of this ghost quickly!

This ghost old lady's chatter really made Shi Ran's face redden like a burning cloud, her veil slowly slipping.

The ghost old lady felt reassured; she was going to see Youming Hiejun for a tip, and as she left she habitually stomped three times—although the bride was obedient, she still had to guard against her running off.

Shi Ran obediently waited a while, then took off her veil, wondering why the ghost old lady hadn't locked the door.

"Her embroidered shoes are her magical tool, the door is sealed!" the Ling Xiao Flower in her hair suddenly spoke.

Shi Ran rolled her eyes, said nothing, and began rummaging through the small bridal room, clinking as she searched for anything usable.

Ling Xiao frowned, the flower's stamen twitched twice in the wind: "Shi Ran, you're looking for useless things."

Shi Ran ignored him, picked up a stool and threw it at the window with a bang! The stool bounced back the same way, raising clouds of dust.

One person and one flower coughed twice; Ling Xiao couldn't understand: "Although the Consolidating Spirit Pill limits cultivation, it shouldn't affect using talismans!"

"For such a low‑level seal, an ordinary Breaking Ice Talisman will do!"

Talisman! Breaking Ice Talisman! That's enough!

It sounds simple, but she can't do it! Besides, it's not her concern—the original host, apart from sword cultivation, dislikes talisman and pill cultivation, and her practice is only superficial.

The wise adapt! She couldn't stay angry; Shi Ran pulled off the Ling Xiao Flower and forced a smile: "Master, you write the talismans then—while the ghost old lady's still away!"

The Ling Xiao Flower trembled, fell to the ground and turned into Ling Xiao; he too was dazed by Shi Ran's antics and forgot he could change back.

Ling Xiao first glanced at Shi Ran; she wore a lopsided pink bridal outfit, with a pomegranate‑gem tassel hairpin askew in her hair—though she looked disheveled, her beauty remained, no wonder the ghost old lady coaxed and tricked her into coming.

Shi Ran gave a sinister smile, gritting her teeth as she spoke: "Master, hurry up and draw talismans—make lots of them; the bridal night can't have only me as the bride!"