Chapter 175: Feather Duster Meets Willow Branch

"Giddy-up! Smash all the other villages' processions!"

An Sheng sat atop a simple palanquin, his cheeks not filled with confusion over the current situation, but only joy.

An Sheng had witnessed scenes like this countless times in his past life. But since he wasn't a local villager or someone who had married and settled here, he usually just sat aside during these communal celebrations, watching like a spectator.

In Xiadong, whether orthodox Taoist deities or local gods, over ninety-nine percent of them are ancestral spirits based on historical human figures.

During festivals or major events, the villagers of Xiadong would visit the ancestral hall to invite these "gods"—who were, in truth, their ancestors—to join the community's spontaneous celebrations.

An Sheng now rode atop the palanquin, carried by local villagers as they paraded through the village.

After completing the village circuit, they would proceed to a designated location to join the processions from other villages.

Next, all participating villages would carry their own deities along a set route in a race against time—the first deity to arrive would sit atop the altar and receive the first incense offering.

In a sense, the procession was fighting for the village's honor, and winning brought rewards.

Losing was no big deal—you still got a cushioned seat in the ancestral hall.

Only when your ancestors forgave you could you stop kneeling before them in repentance.

Though it was just a ritual, modern technology had become too advanced.

One misstep, and being sentenced to kneel in the ancestral hall could trend on Yinfu Platform, leading to social death.

Whether young people from Zhangxizhen or from other villages, all were straining with full force.

"Crackling—pop!"

Amidst the fire, smoke, and gunpowder mist, the deity-carrying palanquins completed their village circuit. It was already five in the morning when the Zhangxizhen villagers marched proudly to the designated gathering ground.

"This is what real excitement feels like!"

During the village circuit, An Sheng casually borrowed props from villagers' doorsteps: one of the bane of mischievous kids—the feather duster, a willow branch, and two broken data cables.

Willow branch paired with feather duster—strike while warding off evil.

"How do you feel, Xiao An? Any discomfort?"

Beside him, Yu Xueqing, her face neither flushed nor breathless, looked at the little fox on the palanquin, claws clutching a feather duster, and spoke hesitantly with concern.

Firecrackers exploded nonstop throughout the village, and he'd been carried at full speed the entire time.

Ah Qing was truly worried the little fox might suffer from stress.

"Ying ying ying! Master's having a blast! Foxie's taking on ten at once today!"

The little fox's chirps, translated by Yu Xueqing's ears, became a perfectly rendered phrase.

"Ah Qing, don't worry! Dad's group is just here for fun, a potted plant tagging along. The real fighters are the young ones." Rain Zhenghong, carrying the palanquin, grinned and reassured her.

"Today anyone can run into the streets, but Dad will die defending Lord Fuli's safety."

Another village elder beside Rain Zhenghong couldn't help retorting:

"That's nonsense. You haven't even started and you're already giving up? Who among us didn't sprint with the deity's statue in our youth? We've got experience, and our load is light—how could we lose?"

The statues weren't light at all—ceramic ones weighing over a hundred jin were already considered slimmed down.

Rain Zhenghong rolled his eyes.

Sure, sure, you're all about your "youth." Don't you know what everyone's condition is now?

In a few years, you'll all be suffering from high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high sugar, herniated discs, rheumatism, and presbyopia—and still stubbornly denying you're old?

"Bold old man! Stop your yapping!"

"You all run ahead—I'll handle everything else!"

The little fox grumbled indignantly.

"Dad, Xiao An says you're too negative—you've killed his mood, and now he won't bless our family anymore."

Seeing Lord Fuli gaze at him and chirp, Rain Zhenghong—who couldn't understand—turned to his daughter. Yu Xueqing hesitated before translating for her father.

"Damn it!"

"When I was young, I swept the streets with my boss and didn't even breathe hard. What's a few kilometers? Even Bolt would be eating our dust!"

Struck right in the soft spot by Lord Fuli, Rain Zhenghong's face flushed crimson, his blood surging.

…………

After a brief rest, all participating processions lined up at the starting line.

But.

The task of escorting the deities to the venue did not begin at the auspicious hour.

The village elders held up the 【Sacred Cup】 and cast lots, asking each deity if they were ready to begin.

Once all deities gave their consent, the young men carrying the palanquins instantly surged forward in a full sprint.

Over thirty palanquins crushed together, jostling inch by inch, refusing to yield an inch—like a rugby scrum at kickoff.

"Holy shit! Hold the line!"

As they began, An Sheng, near the edge of the road, shouted to Rain Zhenghong and the others to push inward—only by squeezing into the center could they move forward. But their starting position was too far out, and the crowd and other palanquins were already pushing theirs sideways.

An Sheng grabbed the palanquin's handrail and yelled at Rain Zhenghong and the others.

Unnoticed, Yu Xueqing—who shouldn't have been in the procession—slipped out a small hand.

Instantly, An Sheng felt a push from behind; the already tilting palanquin snapped upright.

As An Sheng's palanquin straightened, the procession pressing toward them tilted sharply rightward. Shouts erupted everywhere; the right-side teams collapsed in a heap.

Muscular men, ox-like and stunned, lay sprawled on the ground, scrambling to catch their fallen deities.

"For Lord Fuli!"

Rain Zhenghong led the front, one hand shoving aside the crowd, the other gripping the palanquin, trying to force through the throng to start—but progress was agonizing.

"Lord Fuli cleaves steel doors with one willow branch!"

As dawn had not yet fully broken, An Sheng glanced around, snatched up a nearby willow branch, and struck the buttocks of the man deliberately blocking the path.

Lord Fuli's willow branch drove the man's pants deep into his crease.

"Ow—!"

Suddenly attacked, the man yelped, clutching his red-hot rear, eyes blazing as he turned to see who had the audacity to ambush his Marianas Trench with a weapon.

He glared.

The little fox stood upright on the palanquin, raising the feather duster and glaring down at him.

He shrank his neck, grinned sheepishly, and covered his rear.

Fine. If other villages' deities hit my crease, then you've just kicked a cotton ball.

"Giddy-up!"

In the packed crowd, some were truly stuck and couldn't start, but others deliberately jammed themselves in using a self-sacrifice tactic.

The slow ones slowed down, forcing themselves into the road to buy time for their team.

The fast ones pushed hard off the ground and sprinted ahead toward the tea competition venue.

An Sheng struck one after another, driving every pair of pants deep into their creases.

"We're out!"

Rain Zhenghong squinted, ignoring everything else, using every ounce of strength to shove forward. An Sheng interfered with other teams, blocking their attempts to hinder their launch.

Rain Zhenghong pushed forward—suddenly, space opened ahead. His face lit up with joy as he shouted. The seven men in his team instantly rallied, stepped back to gather momentum, and charged forward while the front men yanked the palanquin.

"Holy shit!"

Rain Zhenghong overexerted himself and fell flat on his ass as he pulled the palanquin free—but Lord Fuli's palanquin had already crossed the starting line.

The seven bearers didn't look back; they sprinted ahead with all their might.

Even seated on the palanquin, An Sheng had strapped himself in, yet he was bouncing violently, especially around corners, where the palanquin nearly tipped over.

"Wait for me! I haven't even carried the palanquin yet!"

Rain Zhenghong gasped, scrambled up, and sprinted desperately to rejoin the team.

(End of Chapter)