Chapter 84: Black Bastard!? (Request Follows & Monthly Votes)

“Why did I avoid the cameras before? Wasn’t I worried you’d end up in Tilanqiao for enlightenment?”

“Now it’s fine! If I see any Forestry Bureau vehicle dare enter the village, I’ll go straight next door and tie up those two spy-playing spouses without a second thought!”

The little fox shook its head, happily chirping to Yu Xueqing.

The main reason I didn’t help in the livestream before was that An Sheng feared Yu Xueqing might end up in jail.

Bringing Guo Er home, according to the Wild Animal Protection Law, carries a minimum fine of tens of thousands; if you injure or cause Guo Er’s death, you’ll face criminal charges.

An Sheng wasn’t afraid of the Forestry Bureau’s big cages.

But he worried he’d get Yu Xueqing dragged in.

Now

it doesn’t matter.

After all, two hostages live next door—anytime the Forestry Bureau shows up with a cage, tomorrow’s file on the mayor’s desk will read: 【Forestry Bureau’s Reckless Action Led to Armed Bandit Fox Taking Hostages】

Yet.

The little fox’s defiant words, machine-translated into Yu Xueqing’s mind, became a soft whisper:

“Mmm—Master feeds me well every day; Foxie now has strength. Foxie can help Master hunt on screen too! Eat well!”

“We’ll hunt, eat, and sleep together!”

“Fox Bao, don’t be so blunt,” Yu Xueqing said, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

I really do like you, but your daily food cost is actually low—I can squeeze out a year’s worth just by working hard during a summer month.

I’m touched, but I feel ashamed!

It’s just pork from the market for eight yuan, yet Foxie treats it like meat snatched from the wild at life-or-death risk against beasts.

Ashamed, Yu Xueqing firmly picked up her fox, sat on the electric cart, closed the door, and drove straight to the city’s barbecue stall without looking back.

“Boss! Two skewers of chicken kidneys, no seasoning. Add two more skewers of shrimp and chicken legs—same, no seasoning.”

“And a bowl of rice noodle soup.”

Filled with guilt, Yu Xueqing rushed to the night market and treated her fox to a feast.

Yu Xueqing’s skewers and noodle soup: 53 yuan.

Yu Xueqing let out a muffled groan, too afraid to speak—night market prices hit like thunderclaps, inflicting real financial damage on this broke college student.

The university cafeteria’s fried rice is still the best deal—eight yuan for a huge plate that fills you up.

………………

After eating, Yu Xueqing returned home, walked inside to take a shower, then planned to cuddle the fox and binge-watch a drama.

“Mmm”

An Sheng walked to the flowerbed, lifted his hind leg, and a smooth, cylindrical stream of urine sprayed onto the lone sapling growing there.

“Feels better when it’s a steady stream.”

An Sheng glanced back, saw the smooth, even stream, nodded in satisfaction—after days of struggling with the sprinkler, it finally felt right.

He instinctively shook off, then added a small bottle of diluted, unfertilized organic liquid to the flowerbed, preventing potential burn to the growing seedling.

The tea seedling, once just a green sprout, was now over ten centimeters tall, growing unnaturally fast.

Before, with only a tiny green shoot, An Sheng couldn’t tell what it was.

But now, as it grew, its shape clearly suggested a shrub tea seedling.

Of course—even Old Man would never dare plant a tree in his yard as an ornamental.

If a tree tea plant truly grew, it might dig up his ancestral home’s foundation.

An Sheng returned inside, lay on the sofa, and sipped a cold cola Yu Xueqing had just bought.

His little hand, restless, scrolled through the music platform on his phone.

“Huh? You say… you’re Xiao An’s friend?”

“Xiao An, your friend says they’re looking for you.”

Amid the sound of a hairdryer, Yu Xueqing, who had been drying her hair in the bathroom, opened the door and called out to the fox outside, who was watching a movie commentary.

“My friend?”

An Sheng froze—Yu Xueqing was in the bathroom, wasn’t she?

How could any friend of mine visit me from inside the bathroom?

It couldn’t be those twin-bunned sprites, could it?

“Frr—”

As Yu Xueqing opened the bathroom door, the hairdryer’s hum mixed with a hiss—a jet-black King Cobra slithered out.

“No need to thank me, you two have fun! I still need to dry my hair.”

Dressed in a bathrobe, Yu Xueqing crouched down, cheerfully telling the King Cobra: “Get along well—Xiao An doesn’t have many friends; I’d appreciate you looking out for him.”

“Frr!”

The King Cobra, nearly six meters long with a blocky head, wore a cold, aloof expression—but upon hearing Yu Xueqing’s words, it gave an almost imperceptible nod.

“??? ”

An Sheng, slumped on the sofa leaning against the cushion, stared wide-eyed at the King Cobra, dumbfounded.

“Wait! Where the hell did this black bastard come from?”

“Yu Xueqing! Use some sense! This thing is the world’s most venomous snake!”

An Sheng capped the cola, his expression wary, staring at the black bastard he’d beaten twice.

“Frr—”

The King Cobra slithered through the house, coiled up the corner of the dining table, facing the white fox directly.

“Frr!”

The King Cobra shook its head, then raised its entire upper body straight, its head topped with a rice spoon—resembling a giant pointing arrow.

“You’re saying… I should go with you?”

The fox frowned, chirping at the King Cobra.

But between the fox and the King Cobra, even their species were utterly dissimilar—they couldn’t understand each other’s language.

Still, An Sheng could vaguely guess the King Cobra’s intent from its posture and movements.

“Frr!”

The King Cobra repeated the arrow gesture several times, then “frr”ed twice at An Sheng, as if urging him.

An Sheng took a step forward—the King Cobra slid off the dining table, slithered toward the windowsill, then reared up and peered out.

“Fine, fine!”

Though An Sheng didn’t know why the King Cobra had come specifically today, he still agreed, chirping to Yu Xueqing in the bathroom:

“Yu Xueqing, I’m going out—leave the door open. It’s too hot to sleep outside in summer.”

“And use some sense! You let a King Cobra knock on the window? Aren’t you afraid of being bitten?”

An Sheng spoke with exasperation.

Yu Xueqing, usually timid around people, showed zero fear of bizarre animals.

Luckily, this King Cobra doesn’t attack humans—if it wanted to, it could strangle someone to death like a python, even without using venom.

A King Cobra’s constriction isn’t something to joke about.

“Want a snack when you get back? Sure, I’ll prepare some,” Yu Xueqing replied.

The little fox slapped its face with a paw, chirped, and followed the King Cobra’s pace.

An Sheng had originally planned to lie in Yu Xueqing’s lap, watch a drama, check his wish list, and add two wish points.

But I’ll wait till later.

Let’s see what this black bastard, whom I dumped on the mountain, wants now.

An Sheng followed the King Cobra up the hill.

Old Chen, sitting on the porch cooling off with a notebook in hand, saw a thick, jet-black snake, as wide as a sewer pipe, slither past his gate, followed by the nimble steps of Fu Li Lao Ye.

They walked one after the other into the mountains.

“Saying they’re not gangsters? Look at that intimidating march—they could be heading out to kill someone, and I’d believe it.”

Old Chen muttered a complaint and stopped caring about the affairs of protected animals.

He wouldn’t dare report them to the Public Security Bureau.

He feared Fu Li Lao Ye might escape and flip his ancestral home right over.

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(End of Chapter)