Chapter 177: Love and Desire Entangled

Boss Qian has no news at all; Yue Bai guards the office every day, knitting sweaters from dawn till dusk, as if everything is calm and peaceful.

I have been to Yue Bai's Investment Promotion Office several times, and each time it ended in failure.

I cannot tell Yue Bai that the project is to be terminated! This is my own bottom line, even though Guo Wei asks me every time he sees me, "Did you call that man surnamed Qian?" I always shake my head and say the phone remains unreachable; as long as I cannot find Qian Youyu, I cannot terminate the project, and if I cannot terminate the project, it means the mineral water plant at Laoyingzui still has a glimmer of hope.

Guo Wei's relocation of the township government is a merit of spending money, while my attracting investment for the mineral water plant is a merit of earning money! Guo Wei cannot negate my project with just one word! According to the division of labor, Guo Wei is responsible for party affairs, and I am responsible for economic development; we were originally two horses pulling together, yet Guo Wei wants to break one leg, preventing this old carriage of Nonggu Township from moving forward—what is his intention?

Someone in the township government has already heard the news that the project is to be terminated; Pan Xiaoqin found an opportunity to bring me cigarettes, entered the office, and asked point-blank: "Brother Chen, is the mineral water plant not going ahead?"

"Nonsense." I waved my hand and tore open the packaging: "Who did you hear that from?"

"It's spread throughout the whole township; are you still being kept in the dark?" She sighed and shook her head: "Since others aren't willing to do it, why do you still insist? Better to just enjoy the leisure."

"You're just a child, what do you know." I laughed: "Don't go wagging your tongue with others. If you turn into a gossip, you won't be able to get married."

Pan Xiaoqin puffed out her chest and said nonchalantly: "It's fine if I can't get married; I haven't thought about marrying yet."

Then she suddenly became coy, actually blushed, and whispered: "Brother Yu, do you still remember that person from the County Party School?"

"Which person?" I was completely confused.

"The one I argued with." Pan Xiaoqin became so anxious her neck turned red.

"What about him?"

"His name is Zeng Dongming, and he has come to see me here several times."

"What for?"

"What else could it be for." Pan Xiaoqin's face turned red down to her neck, and one could almost see her chest heaving rapidly: "He asked me to go to the county to watch a movie."

"Who watches movies these days." I said, then suddenly realized: "Is he pursuing you?"

"Not exactly." Pan Xiaoqin sat down opposite me, twisting her fingers, lowering her head and eyes, looking like a well-behaved and lovely girl.

"That's a good thing." I said: "Xiaoqin, the young man is not bad, he looks spirited."

"You agree?" She looked up, wanting to say more but stopping herself.

"What does it matter if I agree or not? It depends on you. However, I think that when a person grows up, they should marry when it's time to marry." I said sternly: "Xiaoqin, you know yourself that your Brother Chen cannot make this decision for you."

Seeing my serious expression, she burst into a giggle: "Then I'll just marry him?"

"Marry, go ahead and marry." I waved my hand: "Finding a man who loves you and marrying him is taking responsibility for yourself."

Pan Xiaoqin got up to leave, hesitated for a moment, then turned back to ask me: "Brother, how will you resolve your own affairs?"

"What affairs?"

"Xue Bing's affairs." She seemed to have made up her mind: "Also, who is that girl who held the spirit tablet for Father Chen? She is truly beautiful."

My brow furrowed, and the frustration that had been pent up in my chest surged out like a tidal wave.

"Don't be angry." She comforted me: "If something comes up, just handle it well. Brother Chen, I believe in your ability. Handling these things is a piece of cake for you."

She pulled the door open with a grin and turned back one last time to say: "That girl is really beautiful; she is a perfect match for you, Brother Chen."

Watching her leave, I collapsed into my chair, thinking of what my father once told me: "If you cannot sweep a single room, how can you sweep the world?" My mood suddenly became heavy.

After Xue Bing appeared once at my father's funeral, she never showed her face again; once, I heard the middle school principal say that during this time, besides teaching peacefully, Xue Bing wouldn't even step out of her door.

My heart began to ache. In my five years in Suxi, Xue Bing accompanied me for more than two. With her, I felt an excitement I had never felt before, and felt how beautiful life could be. How many times had I fantasized about settling down in Suxi Township, having a son, raising a flock of chickens and ducks, planting a few vegetable patches, and in my leisure time, having a small cup of wine and pouring my feelings into the landscape.

To tell the truth, the Xue Bing of those years was the only motivation I had to stay in Suxi Township. Because of her, I felt the mountains and waters of Suxi were incomparably intimate.

Closing my eyes, I recalled every little detail of our years together, as clear as a movie replay. I seemed to see her standing before me forever smiling, seemed to see her lying in my arms as gentle as water.

How many tender and sweet nights, how many affectionate caresses, all seemed to have passed like smoke and clouds.

I cannot just let it end like this, unclear and unresolved! I thought. Even if I wanted to let it end, the stubborn Xue Bing would not. She has a kind of resilience, and it can reach deep into your soul, making one surrender without even realizing it. The fact that she doesn't go out now doesn't mean she has no ideas; from the time Xue Bing ran to my cousin's house on her own, I knew that controlling such a woman is very difficult; she will not let others push her around, she has her own thoughts and opinions, and even more so, her own goals and requirements.

Thinking of this, I began to feel uneasy; Xue Bing wouldn't go looking for Huang Weiwei, would she?

Women have a nature: they all dare to fight for love, and even if they know they will be smashed to pieces, they will be relentless and go through fire and water. In a woman's heart, love is the supreme thing; one can live for it, and one can die for it!

Pan Xiaoqin's words left me filled with sorrow, and it felt as if there were a nail under my seat; I became restless and unable to sit still.

The door was knocked, and before I could speak, Yue Bai slipped in, gave me a shy smile, and turned to close the door tightly.

"Is something the matter?" I asked, a bit puzzled by her actions.

She held a finger to her lips and went straight to the back room of my office.

My head buzzed; this woman, she has such nerve to have an affair!

I pulled the door open and poked my head out to look into the hallway. The township government was quiet and empty; apart from the cadres who had gone to Laoyingzui, the others had gone down to the villages.

I returned to the room, and before I could stand steady, Yue Bai hugged me from behind.

"Aren't you afraid of being seen?" I teased her softly.

Yue Bai smiled shyly: "No one will see; there isn't a third person in the township government besides you and me."

"What about Secretary Guo?"

"He took a few people to the county." Yue Bai leaned her mouth in, wanting to kiss me.

I turned my face away, avoiding her lips.

She was stunned, loosened her arms from my waist, and a light mist rose in her eyes, "Do you despise me?"

Seeing I didn't speak, she turned to leave. I grabbed her and whispered in her ear: "I don't despise you, I'm afraid of delaying you."

She broke into a smile through her tears: "Delaying me? It would be fine if I didn't delay you, how could you be delaying me? As a widow, only after having you did I feel that life was beautiful. If you don't despise me, I can die in peace."

I pressed my hand over her lips, looking at her with affection.

Yue Bai herself is a great beauty; life in the mountain village not only didn't strip away her grace, but instead made her even more moving.

"You deliberately sent me to Qian Youyu, didn't you?" She stared, looking straight at me.

I avoided her gaze and laughed: "Nonsense. You are a living person; what ability would I have to give you away to someone else."

"I know you are doing this for my own good." She murmured, then stretched out her arms to wrap them around my waist again.

"Old Qian is a good man." I said: "He is responsible."

"I understand, so I don't blame you. As long as you can achieve your goal, I am willing to do anything."

"No regrets?"

"No." She said it firmly, burying her head against my chest.

"Then why did you come?"

"I haven't married him yet." She raised her head and gave a sorrowful smile: "Once I marry him, it will be the end for us."

My heart stirred; smelling the faint fragrance emanating from her hair, my emotions surged instantly, and I almost lost control of myself.

Without bothering to pull the curtains, I laid her flat on the bed...

She reached out, fumbling over my body with infinite tenderness, then suddenly burst into tears.

I hurriedly covered her mouth, kissed her earlobe, and said, "I'm sorry."

She pushed me back, lay on top of me, and said word by word: "A thousand lifetimes of cultivation to share a boat ride, ten thousand lifetimes of cultivation to share a pillow. We have cultivated for ten thousand lifetimes to have this day."

I nodded, not knowing how to answer.

"You are not mine. I know." She said sadly: "To be able to have you is enough to fulfill a wish."

"Today counts as the conclusion of our fate for this lifetime. After today, we will be strangers."

I looked at her in surprise.

"It's true." She smiled slightly: "If you still think about Qian Youyu's investment, if you still hope for me to become a good woman."

"To be a woman, having reached my point, one should be satisfied." She said: "I am not a good woman; while my husband is still here, I am having an affair with you, and even after my husband is gone, I am still having an affair."

"Sometimes I think, perhaps Old Bull's death was because of my infidelity. As the old saying goes, 'A wild egg enters the house, the family falls and people die.'" She sighed: "People, it's all fate. If Zhao Jinming had married me back then, there wouldn't be today."

I was speechless, thinking to myself, even if you had married Zhao Jinming, could you guarantee there wouldn't be today?

Or else, what kind of ill-fated connection is Jinling's story?